Still Can’t F*cking Sleep

Good Morning from Seattle!!! I still have not be to sleep and it is fucking pissing me off. And I really don’t care if this post isn’t G rated. Part of me is wondering if I am unable to sleep because of depression but I am not having my typical signs of depression but it’s something to think about.

On the plus side of things, my family, friends and colleagues are worried about me. In fact they all have been checking in on me which makes me feel love and appreciated. I have some pretty awesome people in my life including my colleagues. My colleagues really seem to care about each other. Of course I know my friends and family love me and care about me.

And of course my precious kitty cat, Billie Dean loves me so very much. He has been following me around all day as well as cuddling with me. He is my baby and I don’t care what others think as Billie in part of my family. I am so glad that he picked me in the shelter. Being picked by any animal is a precious thing especially when it’s a cat or bird.

I best be going now as I am starting fall asleep as I write this blog. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing With Some Work Issues

Good Evening, World!!! It is Thursday evening here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. Seattle weather has be grey and misty like it is typical Seattle weather. The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression but at least I know what to do to take care of myself.

So, yesterday, I finally had it with a colleague that has been bullying me so I went to Human Resources (HR) about it. I’ve been having high anxiety about going to HR about being bullied but on that note yesterday (Wednesday) was the day that broke the camels back. I don’t want my colleague in trouble. I just want my colleague to realize not everyone is going to have the same response to this persons news. Anyway, I made sure HR knew that I don’t want this colleague in trouble. I want this person educated not everyone is going to have the same response and that this persons response to my response was not the best way to react to how I reacted in the way this person wanted. I am worried about retaliation with this person but I am doing what I need to do for self care.

As far as my self care, I am listening to a philosophy podcast as I am doing art work. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the philosophy podcast, “Philosophize This.” It seems to be helping me deal with being bullied at work.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful with this bullying issue that I have been having with a colleague. He is supporting me emotionally. I love my cat and am happy that Billie gives me the support I need.

I am also grateful that HR is being supportive of the situation which is quite unusual from my personal experience at previous employers. I really hope the person, I narked on doesn’t get officially in trouble. I just want this person to realize that I felt bullied and to be educated on bullying.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Rambling

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish and celebrating this miracle holiday. In all honesty I get the feeling this particular blog post will go in all sorts of different directions as I seem scatter brained today.

Surprisingly, as I type this particular blog I am listening Christmas music. I guess it’s the season to do so. At least it is bringing me joy as I type this blog. Listening to Christmas music brought me joy at work as well. No, Christmas music was not playing when I was in session with clients. I guess the Christmas music helped me be productive with work today or at least the note taking part of my job.

Speaking of work, I have some pretty awesome colleagues. My small group team, I am a member of is an amazing group of people. I adore all my colleagues especially the ones that are on my small team. I really do like my supervisor. She is awesome.

After my work shift ended I decided to continue to listen to Christmas music while doing art work. My cat, Billie Dean wanted to help. So, some of my artwork is quite a bit more unusual than normal. I really love my cat and his “helpfulness” with the art work.

My depression has been acting up which is why I’ve been making some art work while listening to Christmas music. I am planning on giving my art work away as gifts during this holiday season to my friends and family.

I am grateful for the friends and family I have in my life. They truly do love and care about me. Billie, my cat is now trying to help me type this particular blog post. I feel the love from my colleagues, friends, family and my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating it. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early to be Awake Even for a Work Day

Good Morning, World!!! It is four o’clock in the morning, Seattle time which is way too early for me to be awake especially since I do not start work till eight o’clock in morning, Seattle time. I am blaming the treatment resistant insomnia I have. I am missing my cat Billie right now but he is on my grandpa’s and will see both Billie and my grandpa tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

At least it is only a four hour work day at my job today and I get paid for a full eight hours which I am happy about. I love my job and how I feel supported my by supervisors and colleagues. I work with some amazing people.

I am not sure what else to discuss in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart fro reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Comfort of My Cat, Billie Sitting in My Lap

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been not one of my best days at work. It also hasn’t been one of my worst days at work. The type of day I had at work is like riding a rollercoaster that goes upside down on three different occasions. Not get me wrong I love riding rollercoasters for fun. I just don’t like when my work day feels like a rollercoaster. I hope I am making sense with what I am trying to convey.

Anyway, I had an uncomfortable interaction with a colleague today. Not meaning to offend this colleague because I admire this person. So, long story short, I was able to check in with my supervisor who validated my experience and informed me that I didn’t do anything wrong. My direct supervisor is finally back from FMLA and she is awesome. My temporary supervisor is awesome as well. Hell, all the supervisors are amazing and feel supported by them as well as the clinical director.

One of the best parts of my job, the clinicians come to me for advice on help to help the clients we serve at my employers. It feels good when people come to me to be of help for our clients. It also feels odd at times when the lead peer specialist most likely would be the best bet to go to for advice regarding helping clients. Sadly, the lead peer specialist isn’t my biggest fan which I won’t discuss here but I do admire her. She has some awesome insight on things that I know nothing about. I love learning things from the lead peer specialist despite her not liking me.

On that note my colleagues are quite supportive. My colleagues gave me the encouragement I needed and was not expecting it. I am glad that my colleagues are beyond awesome.

Now that I am off work, I am writing this particular blog post with my cat, Billie Dean, on my lap as I listen to a podcast on philosophy. The podcast of the philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning a lot about philosophy from the podcast I am listening to.

Another thing I am learning philosophy from is the book is “The Republic and Other Works” by Pluto. I feel like I am getting a great education about philosophy from the book I am reading. I love learning and educating myself.

As far as my cat Billie Dean, he is still laying curled up in my lap. He knows that my day has had some stress in it so he is trying to get me to be more mindful of the present versus the past even the recent past such as my work day today. I love my cat, Billie so much and that he gives me unconditional love even though I do not deserve the unconditional love he gives me. I so love how is is such a cuddly love but of a a cat.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Our, World!!!

A So So Type of Day

Good Evening, World!!! I have been having a so so type of day. Partly because my anxiety and depression symptoms are acting up. Another part is I went back to work today after taking the last two days off (Monday and Tuesday) from work due to increased symptoms of the anxiety and depression. The HR department at my employer is amazing. They have been working with me since the day I accepted the job offer nearly a year ago. Hell, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I accepted this awesome job.

On that note, HR is amazing but sadly, I had a negative interaction with a colleague that many people at my employer admire including myself. Anyway, the interaction I had with this admired colleague put me in a loop. A loop that I feel like is going to spiral in a downward spiral. That’s why I notified HR via email and will hopefully hear back from HR sometime tomorrow since it took me all day to decide if I needed to bring HR into this matter.

Now, that I am off from work for the day, I have decided to not watch television as I could use a different form of background noise so I decided. The background noise I am listening to is something that I actually listen to which is a podcast. I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. In fact the philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much about philosophy from this podcast and feel like I am getting an education from it.

While listening to this podcast, I am cuddling with my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie is making it challenging to do some art work but that is okay. The type of art work I am doing is painting as well as collaging. I’m intertwining the two genre’s together. Usually, it comes out okay but this piece is coming out quite amazingly. As far a Billie, my cat, goes, I am glad he is being cuddly with me today.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Supported

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now I am feeling supported. I am feeling supported in many different ways by many different people including my cat, Billie Dean. Yes, I realize Billie is a cat and not a human but I feel supported by him.

I feel supported by the various people in my life due to circumstances going on in my life. I was and am on the receiving end of being bullied by a colleague. When it became clear on Thursday that I was being bullied, my supervisor and many of my colleagues have been checking in on me even today, a Saturday. I am thrilled that my colleagues at my new job are backing me up and supporting me.

To add to being bullied, I ended up having to call out sick yesterday (Friday) due to a migraine. Again, my colleagues as well as friends and family checked in on me throughout yesterday and today. My grandpa even brought over groceries today and made me a meal. My grandpa didn’t have to make me lunch but he did. He, a neighbor and myself sat on the community patio of my apartment building and had lunch. It was nice to eat lunch with a friend and my grandpa.

Another way I felt supported today was going to a twelve step meeting. A twelve step meeting my sponsor regularly attends. Of course the meeting was not in person due to Covid-19 but at least I was able to attend one over Zoom. Zoom is a godsend during the pandemic and am grateful for it especially when it comes to attending twelve step meetings. My sponsor checked in with me after the meeting. We discussed how I was doing regarding my first step and how it is a slow process at the moment.

Of course as I mentioned earlier on in this post, I am feeling supported by my cat, Billie Dean. I love my cat, Billie so much. It is amazing how supportive pets can be in peoples lives. My cat has been a great support for me and am grateful for him.

I do not have much more to say in this particular job post. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Thousand Words to Say Yet Nothing Comes Out But Tears Through the Eyes

I am continuing to love my job and try to help wear I can. It appears that I am being bullied slightly at work. I’m being bullied by a white person because I am sticking up for my colleagues the identify as part of the BIPOC community. I did what I needed to do and all I want is everyone to be treated with respect no matter what what they identify as. Sadly, I am being bullied by a white colleagues. During the meeting only one person was against me as my team had my back. I felt I have the back of most of my colleagues including my supervisor. My supervisor is just one amazing human being. and am grateful to for her to be on board.

I learned a great deal about my colleagues and how supportive they are with dealing with such a bully in the work place. My Supervisor came by my -place to take our cats out for walks and for we can meet in person for the first time. I’m grateful for her checking up on me and a mutual walk with our cats. Our cats got along great.

I know there is bully at my place at work and I feel like it getting taking care off. I like the fact that my colleagues might be come friends. Love being about to talk about cat stuff instead of just work. I love cast

I do not know what else to say for the day expect a great big thank you. Thank you for reading.

Before Work Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! It is eleven thirty-three in the morning in my corner in the world. Today, I don’t start work till twelve noon and am grateful that I am able to sleep in on Mondays. I have a challenging time getting in work mode on Mondays and starting at twelve noon on Mondays helps me get into work mode.

Speaking of work a couple of my colleagues and I will be getting together later today via Zoom. We will be having a late dinner with each other. It is cool that my colleagues invited me to dinner over Zoom tonight. I am thrilled that I am starting to sort of fit in at work. I am loving my new job. I am beyond grateful for my new job.

Billie Dean, my cat is currently sitting my lap as I type this blog post. I love Billie so much and I love the fact that he is such a lap cat. He is so lovey dovey. I am grateful the Billie chose me to adopt him.

I do not have much more to say in the particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

The Communities I Call Family

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here at work, I cannot help but think of how certain people become like family to you. I’ll use work as an example. When you work with people everyday, you become like family. For instance, the Saturday night shelter crew has each other’s backs when needed. We build one another up. I guess I say my colleagues are like family because we check up on each other even when we are off work.

My work colleagues aren’t the only family I have. Another family I have happens to be the community I have created while volunteering at PAWS. Specifically, PAWS Cat City and folks on my volunteer shift. That includes both employees and other volunteers. I guess my love for cats and other animals have helped me find more people to call family.

Besides my work and volunteer family, I will have to say my neighbors are family. As dysfunctional as we are in my apartment building we are a type of family. We may not always get along but when something happens we are there for each other; like families should be.

Then last but not least, my cat is family. Lil Gertie, the cat that crossed the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day of last year (2019) was and still is considered my family. She was there when people let me down. Hell, she is still with me. She is my guardian angel. I truly believe that Lil Gertie played a major role in the adoption of my current cat, Billie Dean. I say this because Lil Gertie had two crinkly ears and Billie has one crinkly ear. I also believe that both Lil Gertie and Billie chose me to be their family. Being chosen by an animal to be their furrever family is an honor. I am beyond grateful that I was Lil Gertie’s family for the last year and a half of her life. She will always have special place in my heart. I am also beyond grateful that Billie is my family. I am grateful to call my cat family.

As I end this particular blog post, I hope you all ponder about who or what you call family in this life. For me family is a melting pot of people (and animals) that come into my life in various ways like I mentioned in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you chose to read my blog even if this is the only post you ever read of my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Sunday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!