Using My Privilege to Help Change

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am one fucking angry white person. I am angry because it appears me that the only time white people want to discuss anything about race is when something happens like in the case of George Floyd.  I think white people need to talk about the racism in our country everyday and need to figure out how to stop this hatred. It is up to white people to stop the systemic problems that people of color face on the daily basis. We need to have serious discussions on how we as white people can stop racism. It is up to white people to be ally’s to people of color and help them have their voice heard. It is up to us because the assholes in charge aren’t fucking listening.

As I end this post, I hope that white people will discuss how to stop racism. It is up to white people to end racism and NOT people of color to do so. In the coming weeks I have decided to have conversations with my white friends. I realize I could loose friends over such conversations and am willing to do so. I may not want to loose friends but am willing to do so, so I can at least be part of the solution and not the problem.

A Post About the Fear I Have for the People I Serve

Good Morning, World!!! At this very moment I am at work. I have been at work for ten and a half hours. I have another two and a half hours left of my shift. I am tired as hell. I will be eager to get home for many reasons but I need to get some shit off of my chest.

I work with homeless individuals for young adults. Many of whom aged out of the foster care system and have a major distrust of the police. Anyway, I work in a shelter that is in Downtown Seattle. Right in the middle of where the riots are. The thing that pisses me off is that many of the police officers have accused some of the young adults of looting. Sadly, many of the folks being accused are people of color and the police officers that are doing the accusing are white. I know for a fact that the young adults I work with were involved with the peaceful protest and had absolutely nothing to do with the riots as they didn’t want to be apart in harming their community. Many of the young adults were harassed by white police officers as they were trying to get to shelter. Many of the folks I work with just want justice for George Floyd and many other like Mr. Floyd that were senselessly murdered by white cops.

I just hope that people realize that the murder of George Floyd needs to be dealt with. I say this because people of color live in fear everyday of their life that some white person or even worse a white cop will kill them. I worry most about the homeless folks who are of color as they get harassed even more than other people. Please lets all just take care of each other.

As I end this post here at work, there is still a major police presence and the National Guard is present as well. Sadly, people are still committing arson as well as looting. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you have taken the time to read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Please protest peacefully. Stay safe while you are out protesting. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Peace Out, World!!!

Say His Name; George Floyd

Hello, World!!! Right now many Americans like myself are angry as hell at the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota by a white police officer. Many people around Minneapolis as well as around the United States are protesting the unjust death of George Floyd.

In fact as I write this post, the protest here in Seattle is still happening. I wish I could be protesting but sadly I can not due to the fact I hurt my knee and need to keep it up. So, I am writing this post as part of an individualized protest. I want people to be aware that this white person (me) will NOT tolerate racism of any kind. This white person (me) will not tolerate the murder of people of color by white police officers. This white person (me) will do what I can to be an ally to people of color or any other marginalized group. White people around the United States as well as the world NEED to do what we can to end racism. It is up to white people to end racism.

George Floyd you will be remembered. You are not forgotten.

A Complaining Post Full of Anxiety

Hello, World!!! Right now I am full of anxiety and not very happy with my two of my neighbors. These two neighbors have been loud for hours on end, nearly everyday for the last two months. They are extremely loud with loud music on the community patio and have been doing this since the stay at home order. Most of the time they are drinking alcohol and I am sure that doesn’t help with them being quiet.

On that note, these two neighbors obviously had too much alcohol today and while on the patio got into a fight. I heard the yelling and looked out the window. When I looked out the window, I noticed them fighting so I call 911. The Seattle police came and broke it up. One of the neighbors got arrested while the other one went to the hospital to get checked out. Anyway, one of the Seattle cops asked me why I didn’t report the noise. I explained that when I did twice before I was informed by the non-emergency line that Seattle Police weren’t responding to noise complaint no matter what time it is due to the fact of Covid-19. The police officer said that is not true but thankfully a superior officer overheard and backed up what I said. I know without a shadow of doubt that my two neighbors wouldn’t have been so noisy for two months if it wasn’t because of this stupid pandemic.

Anyway, after all this my anxiety was extremely high, I decided to do some meditation and mindfulness practice which helped me a great deal. My cat, Billie also helped me more than he could ever know. If it wasn’t for the mindfulness and meditation practices as well as my cat, I don’t know how long my anxiety would have lasted. Hell, my anxiety is still high but not as high as it was.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

An Eventful Outing

Good Afternoon, World!!! I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine that I pick up once a week. I have been going to the same pharmacy in my neighborhood for nearly nineteen years and have seen my fair share of characters in the store. Anyway, I was chatting with the pharmacist and pharmacy tech when we all noticed a customer get shoved to the floor by the Loss Prevention (LP) dude for “shoplifting.” When the store manager came over to see what was going on he ended up needing to look at video photo-age to make sure the person who was tackled actually took something. While doing this the LP (or security officer) sat on the person and called 911. Seattle Police showed up and by this time the store manager informs the LP dude that the person he just tackled did not take anything and now the person has a broken arm due to being tackled and trying to break their fall. Needless to say the person who got tackled was taken to the hospital and Seattle Police talked with witness’s and looked at the video. So, after I talked with the police I finally got my meds and the LP dude was getting handcuffed. I am assuming for excessive force  or something along those lines. I am not against Loss Prevention as I use to work at a grocery store for ten years but I am against LP’s putting their hands on people when it is not necessary. Same goes with the police but in this case the police actually did something right and arrested the LP dude.

After seeing all this, I realized I needed to take the long way home. By the long way home I mean taking the scenic route home for a longer walk. Walking helps me with my anxiety. After picking up my meds and an extra long walk, I decided to make me lunch. As I was eating my lunch the building fire alarm decided to malfunction once again. So, I put Lil Gertie into her carrier and we went downstairs to the lobby. As the fire department was doing what they needed to do to turn off the alarm and make sure there was no fire a couple of my neighbors decided to get into a fist fight. So, one of the firefighters got in between the two that were fighting while another called dispatch to get the police to the building. Thankfully, nobody got hurt and the police arrived quickly. Neither one of the people fighting were arrested and neither one of them wanted to press charges which I personally think both parties should have been arrested.

Now that, Lil Gertie and I are back in my apartment, Lil Gertie is curled up in her hiding place as I blog and finish eating my lunch. I should really get going and finish my lunch. I didn’t sleep well last night and need to take a nap. So, after eating, I will take a nap and try to post later on today. I hope everyone has a better day than I have had so far. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Neighbor Drama

Hello, World!!! I witnessed one of my white neighbors be an asshole and call another neighbor the “n” word. This started an argument and the African American neighbor walked away as he didn’t want the arguing to continue. My white neighbor went at him and him so hard in the back he fell to his knees. At this point myself and other witness’s called the police.

The police showed up with the fire department where my African American neighbor not only pressed charges but went to the hospital as precaution. The police took witness statements and two of the neighbors (who are white) attempted to say it was the African American’s fault not the white neighbors fault.

I as a white person attempted to explain to the white witnesses sticking up for the asshole of a neighbor about white privilege. They were trying to argue with me so I stopped the conversation. I did my best to do so to explain what it was. Unfortunately, I think it made things worse.

Who needs a television drama when you have drama in your apartment building. There is never a dull moment in my building. I just wish the drama that happened this evening didn’t happen as someone got hurt. I hate drama.

Thank you for reading. I hope I didn’t trigger anyone. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been An Interesting Day

     Good Monday Evening!!! Today has been an interesting day. On my bus ride to my appointment with my therapist, a fellow passenger passed out because he was so drunk. Of course the bus driver had to stop the bus and check on the dude. The bus driver had to call the police as well as the fire department. The police showed up as well as the fire engine and paramedics. As the firefighters were trying to help the drunk dude came to and hit one of them. The police then tackled the guy and with the help of the paramedics and other firefighters he was handcuffed to the gurney and put in the back of the ambulance. Of course myself and the other passengers had to give witness statements to the police. Finally after everyone gave their statement the bus was on its way again. I got off at my bus stop and walked about a half mile to my appointment. On the walk from the bus stop to my appointment I found $20. Finding money is a rare thing for me.

     I of course made it to my appointment with my therapist on time. In fact I was 45 minutes early. I’m usually an hour early due to OCD tendencies. While waiting for my therapy appointment the admin assistant got me my stuffed Eeyore that I have my therapist hold for me so when I am waiting to see her I can hold on to him. My stuffed Eeyore also sits in on my sessions with me because its easier to talk with a stuffed animal to hold. As I was holding Eeyore, in the waiting room I pulled out a Wonder Woman graphic novel to read. If you are a regular reader or follower of my blog you know I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. About 15 minutes before my session an old high school friend walks into the waiting room of the mental health clinic I see my therapist at. This high school friend was seeking therapy for the first time in her life. She of course was seeing a different clinician. It was nice to “catch up” with an old friend.

    My session with my therapist Diana was quite draining. We discussed what happened on the bus then I pulled out 3 copies of what I wanted to go into my treatment plan. Of course many of things I want to work on can be condensed and we did that. In fact it was getting a bit overwhelming for me. We had to take a break from it and we talked about why it was overwhelming. I had come to the conclusion that I’ve been defined by my mental illness so long that it scares me what it would be like to not be “crazy.” Diana my therapist says that I’ve dealt with my mental illness for so long that now that I am walking in recovery I’m learning what its like to not be “crazy.” She also says that I’m in the process of redefining on who I am. She is absolutely correct. I am redefining who I am. Recovery from a mental illness is difficult work. I still have a great deal to work through so I am no where done with needing treatment but I am an active participant in my treatment planning. I still have to work through all the trauma I’ve been through when I was a child as well as an adult. That’s going to be a long process. So Diana and I still need to finish working my treatment/recovery plan and we both hope that we can continue to work on in in the next session next Monday. I never knew how draining it would be. Working on changing for the better is not only draining and difficult but a good thing. (Side Note: Diana is a pseudonym for my therapist)

   So after my therapy appointment I took the bus home. Thankfully nothing eventful happened on my bus ride home. In fact on my bus ride home, I read A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. I am really enjoying the book. It’s going to take me awhile to read it due to my dyslexia but that is okay with me. Like I’ve said before, I enjoy reading.

   As I am blogging right now, I am at my boyfriends house. He is fixing me dinner. He is a good cook. Not as good as my grandma but good enough. He cooks better than me and I love to cook. Hell, my boyfriend loves to cook as well. He learned to cook from his mom. I learned to cook from my dad and grandma. My paternal grandpa is not a very good cook. My maternal grandpa was an awesome cook. Anyway, my boyfriend is making me spaghetti. I love spaghetti. I should get going. I want to see if my boyfriend will let me help him finish cooking. After dinner we are going to watch a movie. Not sure what movie but it’s going to be a comedy.

   Well, I best be going. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a good rest of the evening. Enjoy the rest of your Monday. Well at least enjoy the 4 hours that’s left of Monday. Peace out and enjoy life.