Update About Last Night & Other Random Thoughts

Good Morning, World!!! My last post was quite concerning if you read it you know there were some gunshots and sadly two people were shot. Thankfully, they are going to survive. I know it scared the shit out of many people including myself and my cat.

Now on to my random thoughts. Well maybe not so random. I’m not sure if I mentioned that my mom has stage three lung cancer. My mom doesn’t appear to worried about it but the rest of the family including myself is worried. Well, all except my brother because nobody has heard or seen him since my mom got diagnosed with lung cancer. I’m worried about both my mom and my brother. It’s unheard of that he hasn’t contacted anyone especially my mom since he is a mama’s boy.

Now on to the real random thoughts that I am having. If you read my blog on the regular basis or even if this is your first time reading my blog you may have noticed I have advertisements. I have advertisements to make money. The only way I get paid is if people click on them. Granted it might be a cent or two or maybe three per click but it adds up. Sadly, WordPress doesn’t pay you till you hit at least one hundred dollars. So if you could kindly click on one advertisement, whenever you read my blog it would be greatly appreciated.

On to more random thoughts, my neighbors a screaming at each other again. Well, one is screaming and the other is just trying to get to their apartment. The one neighbor screaming just needs different type of housing. Personally, the neighbor that is screaming needs to be in supportive housing where there are staff there 24/7 if someone is in need of talking to someone or in crisis. This neighbor appears to be in crisis quite often.

I should get going as my cat Billie Dean is wanting some attention. Oh how I love my cat, Billie. Billie is such a lap cat and loves all the attention he can get. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Christmas in July

Hello, World!!! I know it’s July. In fact it is the fourth of July. It being the fourth of July isn’t stopping me from play Christmas music in July. Normally, I don’t play Christmas music in July but Christmas is my mom’s favorite holiday. In fact some people like my mom do Christmas in July. She even decorates Christmas decorations in July.

I recently found out that my mom has stage three lung cancer. They are even doing an MRI to see if it spread to the brain. My mom and I have may not have the best relationship but at least the last two to three years we been mending things up. I’m glad we are mending things up because realistically we do not when are time to go is going happen. As hopeful as I am that she is going to survive this I also have to be realistic about it and her not making it.

Something my mom does every year is celebrate Christmas in July and even gives my brother and I gifts on the fourth of July as well as July 25th since “the real Christmas” lands on December 25th. My mom even decorates her home with Christmas decorations. Even though I have some hope she will survive, I decided to decorate my place with Christmas decorations just in cast she doesn’t make it. I sent her a gift for the Fourth of July and of course send her one on the 25th of July. She is my mom and I want her to feel loved.

In all honesty I’m scared she may not make it especially if they find out if it spread to the brain. I am trying to hold out hope and hope that doing Christmas in July will give her the hope she needs. She has been in pretty good spirits but it is my hope that with me doing Christmas in July with my mom it will give her more hope for survival. We may have had not the best relationship but am thrilled we have been mending it over the last two or three years. So here is to a good Christmas in July.

Merry Christmas in July Mom. I love you to the moon and back.

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World. It is Saturday which mean its weekly check-in time even though I haven’t done one in a few weeks. I have had many up and downs this week. If you have been reading my blog regularly I got laid off and my last day was Friday, June 3rd, 2022. Which put be in a depression that sent me into the Emergency Room for psych reasons. Thankfully I was not hospitalized.

Monday of this week I had an interview for a peer specialist job. If I wouldn’t have been discharged from the Emergency Room for psych reasons I wouldn’t have received the call on Wednesday to accept the job I had interviewed for on Monday. My orientation is on Monday, June 20th and my first day of training is on Monday, June 27th.

Sadly, I found out on Thursday, June 9th that my mom has lung cancer and test are still being done. They don’t know if how severe it is as her memory is sadly going down hill. The doctors need to do a MRI to see if there are any unusual spots on her brain and if so is it able to do an operation on the possible brain tumor which would have spread due to the Lung cancer. They will able deal with the lung cancer and take out the spot so that’s a good thing. If it turns out there is no spot on her brain when get gets the MRI, it could mean she could have dementia or Alzheimer’s. As much as I don’t want my mom to have Alzheimer’s. or dementia, I would rather haver her have that than a brain tumor due to her lung cancer.

Going on to a better subject, Seattle had a beautiful day. I was able enjoy the Sunny is Seattle day with my cat Billie Dean. Billie was actually brave enough to be outside on his harness and leash for ten minutes. He spent thirty minutes walking around inside my apartment building. We both got are steps in today.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog from my perspective. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog.. Peace Out, World!!!

A Rollercoaster of the Last Few Days

Good Evening, World. Today has been a rollercoaster of a day. Lets start with the good news. I had an interview on Monday an was offered the job yesterday (Wednesday) that I got the job. I am looking forward to the new job that I start June 27th of this month. I have mixed feelings with this job but at least I’ll have employment starting the end of the month.

On that note my mom’s health hast been the best and have forgetting things a lot and usually remembers everything. My mom’s breathing has been getting worse so long story short the found a spot on her lung. It’s been made official she has lung cancer but need more test to be done see what stage it is in. The doctors need to do more test including removing the spot on her lung. She will be having more test including an MRI for her head due to her forgetfulness which is unlike my mom. If they find something in her brain that it is not suppose to be there not only will she have surgery on the removing the spot if find one if it safe enough to do it as the brain is very fragile. I will keep you updated about my mom when test results come in.

I’m just glad that I have the support of my friends, family and of course my cat Billie. Today has been a tough day and Billie has be helpful.

Than you for reading my blog. I hope you can give out positive energy and vibes for my mom. I love her so much. Again thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Day That Changed My Life, Again

Good Evening, World!!! Today marks exactly three years since I adopted my last cat Lil Gertie. I miss her a great deal and wish I had more time with her. Sadly, I only had a year and a half with her before she crossed over the rainbow bridge.

The therapist I had three years ago suggested getting an Emotional Support Animal (ESA). We discussed why it would be good for my recovery and help reduce the symptoms of my mental health challenges. So, I decided to adopt a cat from PAWS Cat City here in Seattle. I connected with Lil Gertie at first site. She changed my life in so many ways.

One of the ways that she changed my life is that she gave me something to focus on other than myself and what I was struggling with. She gave me a purpose I was lacking when I adopted her. She helped me gain self confidence and self worth.

Due to the self confidence and self worth I gained, I was able to go back to work. Going back to work even though it was part time for just over two years helped me not just with my self worth and self confidence, it helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life which was to be a peer support specialist again. Now, I can happily say I am once again a peer support specialist and working fulltime.

Sadly, Lil Gertie couldn’t see me become a peer support specialist again because she crossed over the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day of 2019. Lil Gertie received a cancer diagnosis in October of 2019 and she was given six months to live, maybe nine months. When I was given this news I started the volunteer process to become a volunteer at PAWS Cat City. It was in the middle of this process that Lil Gertie had a mini stroke on Thanksgiving Day and made the decision that it was best to end her suffering by having the vet help her cross the rainbow bridge. Yes, I was with Lil Gertie when she crossed over.

Despite loosing Lil Gertie in the middle of the process of becoming a volunteering PAWS Cat City, I continued the process. I continued as I knew it would not only help me with my grief of loosing Lil Gertie, I wanted to help cat find their furrever homes and to help people find their new best friend. I had my first shift at PAWS Cat City in January of 2020.

It was while on a volunteer shift at PAWS Cat City, that Billie Dean my current cat and I fell in love with each other. I put him on hold to get the what I needed for him and adopted him the next day. Billie has been apart of my life for just over a year now and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Yes, I miss Lil Gertie and love her with all my heart but I wouldn’t change anything for the world. Today, is the day she changed my life forever and for the better.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

The Post I’ve Been Dreading to Write

Good Morning, World!!! I have been dreading about writing this post for the last week as it is sad and devastating news or at least it is devastating for me. As many of you may know if you read a post a few months ago that my cat, Lil Gertie, was diagnosed with cancer. I knew there was a chance of helping her cross the rainbow bridge but I didn’t think it would be so soon. See, on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday, November 28th, 2019) evening Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge.

Like most everyone else across the United States I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. I went and spent the day with family. When I arrived back home Thanksgiving Day evening, I noticed Lil Gertie walking funny, with her head tilted and walking into things. I quickly realized I would need to take her to the emergency vet and most likely have to say goodbye. Before taking her to the emergency vet, I decided to feed her some turkey which she gobbled down and that made my heart happy.

The happy heart didn’t last very long as I knew what the reality was so I took her to the emergency vet. The emergency vet did in fact confirm that it was Lil Gertie’s time to cross the rainbow bridge. Sadly, while I was eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family Lil Gertie had a small stroke. Due to the stroke both of Lil Gertie’s retina’s detached which is why she was walking into things. Since she was unable to see, plus the stroke and cancer I knew I couldn’t bear to see Lil Gertie struggle, I knew it was time to let her go and cross the rainbow bridge. I was able to be with Lil Gertie as she crossed over with the help of the vet. I miss my cat so very much.

I did decide that I wanted Lil Gertie’s ashes and will be getting them in a couple of weeks along with a paw print and clump of her fur. The emergency vet also let Lil Gertie’s regular vet know. Lil Gertie’s vet reached out to me the past Monday (December 2nd) when she returned to the office after the holiday weekend. Lil Gertie’s vet was and is extremely empathetic and compassionate. She even sent me a sympathy card which I received yesterday (Tuesday) in the mail. Part of the reason I decided to keep Lil Gertie’s ashes as I know it will help with my healing process.

Speaking of the healing process I think that is why I waited so long to write this post. Yes, I realize tomorrow will mark a week since Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge but it just stung too much. Hell, it still stings like hell.

As people in my life have been finding out about Lil Gertie and many know she was an Emotional Support Animal (ESA), I have been asked if I am going to get another cat. The answer is, YES but I am going to wait till after the holidays for many reasons. One of which is I want to give myself some time to grieve. I wish I had more time with Lil Gertie because I only had her for 1 1/2 years and she was only 7 1/2 years old but I know she accomplished what she needed to accomplish here on earth and it was her time to go.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. I hope to post pictures of Lil Gertie in a later post. I hope everyone has a great day. I also hope you all have a great holiday season. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Sad & Trying to Not Overreact or Be a Drama Queen

Good Evening, World!!! I am having very uncomfortable emotions right now in regards to my cat. I am fearful, sad and pretty high anxiety right now. She is not acting like her usual self and not really eating her wet food but at least she is drinking water and nibbling at her dry food. She is also using the litter box. She is a little more lethargic the last two days and it starting to scare me because of lump that is cancerous. Plan is to watch her the next few days and take her to the vet on Tuesday even if she starts getting better because I just want to make sure everything is as okay as it can be health wise with a cancerous lump. I just don’t want put her down but I don’t want her to suffer either. I just love her so much. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Lil Gertie is a special cat for me. She is my emotional support animal (ESA). I thought I would be rescuing her but she did the rescuing of me. I love her so much and hope that she knows that. Lil Gertie was meant for me and I don’t want to loose her too soon but I don’t want her suffer

Like I told you I plan on taking her to my regular vet on Tuesday and get her opinion. Dr. B, the vet Lil Gertie goes to. Dr. B is an amazing vet and tells you like it is in an empathetic and compassionate way. Dr. B really care for the animals she treats as well as the humans. Dr. B is amazing.

I don’t know what else to write due to not wanting to crying. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Long Time No Blog

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been quite some time since I last blogged. There is no particular reason why I haven’t blogged and I have no real or good excuse to why I haven’t blogged. I guess, I could say life has been getting in the way but part of my life does consist of the blogging community. In fact I have made friends from the blogging community and am grateful for that.

Anyway, I want to update you on my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie is doing well and acting like her typical self. She had a biopsy done to confirm the original test of cancer but sadly the biopsy didn’t confirm or deny cancer as all the samples the vet took were all inflamed. Lil Gertie’s vet, Dr. B said that inflammation is most likely the sign of infection so we put Lil Gertie on some antibiotics. Dr. B is “cautiously optimistic” with the biopsy results but also doesn’t want to give me “false hope” with the biopsy results and am grateful that she is upfront with such things and the cool part is she informs you in a compassionate way. I wish the biopsy results were not so frustrating and would have been more informative but at least I know that Dr. B can now do the surgery and not have to refer me to a different vet to do it. Even though I scheduled a surgery in January for Lil Gertie, I am not sure if surgery is the way I want to go as if the lump continues to grow, I want Lil Gertie to have a good quality of life and not suffer. As frustrating as the biopsy results are I am grateful that Dr. B is an upfront and compassionate vet who wants what is best for my cat. I will keep you updated on Lil Gertie as she is a major part of my life.

As far as what the rest of the day holds for me is to just lay low and really not do much. I will be doing some good self care. For today, self care looks like listening to several episodes of a podcast about philosophy as I do some art work as I have incense burn. The type of art work I will be doing is coloring and painting. I most likely do more coloring than painting as I am trying to finish up some coloring projects before the holidays as I am going to give them as gifts. I am also trying to finish up one painting for a friend of mine but that will only take about fifteen minutes plus drying time. I love both coloring and painting. Coloring and painting or any type of art is therapeutic for me and it is also educational for me because I tend to listen to podcast when doing some form of art. Usually the podcast I listen to gives me knowledge on topics I am not familiar with.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say with out blabbing on and on about the same thing. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. In fact I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Sad News About My Cat

Hello, World!!! I realize I haven’t blogged in a while. A great deal has happened since I last blogged. Mostly, I have been attending appointments and doing things for work. Nothing really major except when in comes to my cat, Lil Gertie.

Long story short I noticed a lump on my cats, Lil Gertie side. I took her to the vet and they did a test. It turns out that the test says she has cancer. Sadly, the test shows that Lil Gertie’s cancer is the type of cancer that if the lump is removed then it will most certainly grow back. The vet informed me that there is a slim chance the cancer could be another type of cancer but it is unlikely. She suggested I get a biopsy done on Lil Gertie to see how to proceed with treatment. If the results of biopsy confirm what the test say they type of cancer Lil Gertie has then treatment will be more the quality of life than trying to keeping her alive. The vet thinks Lil Gertie has six to twelve months before needing to put her down.  The vet is amazed that Lil Gertie is “doing so well” because she isn’t acting like she is sick. Lil Gertie, my cat, is acting like her usual self. She is eating, drinking, peeing and pooping normally which is a good sign for both me at the vet. Lil Gertie will have the biopsy in little over a week. I will keep you updated.

The good thing in all this is not only is Lil Gertie acting like her usual self and seeming like she has cancer but I have some major support from my friends. Friends who are amazing and loving. Friends making sure I do some good self care.

The self care I am doing is checking in with friends. I am also burning incense to help me out. I am reading, doing art, spending time with others and going about my normal everyday routine. Most importantly, the best self care is spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as I know my time is more limited than I thought and hoped it would be. I love my cat, Lil Gertie. I know Lil Gertie loves me unconditionally.

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A face only a parent could love. This is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love her facial expressions.

The above picture is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love the many facial expressions she has especially in the above picture. I am planning on printing out the picture above and framing it put it on my wall in my apartment.

I do not have much more to say as I am now in tears again. At least I know Lil Gertie is not suffering at the moment as she is acting like her normal self. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Post In Respect to Senator McCain and My Grandma

Good Morning, World!!! As I type here at my laptop, I watching the Sunday morning news. The main topic of the morning news is about the death of Senator John McCain. The news is doing a great job in honoring Senator John McCain.

As the country mourns the death of an amazing man, John McCain, my heart goes out to his family. My heart goes out to his family because my family and I are still mourning the death of my grandma. Yes, my grandma’s death was on Valentines Day of this year (2018) which was six and half months ago and Senator McCain’s death was only yesterday. My heart goes out to the family of Senator McCain because I truly understand the pain they must be going through. Yes, the deaths of my grandma and Senator McCain were due to two different diseases but still as difficult deal with.  My grandma passed away due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease while Senator McCain passed away due to Brain Cancer. Both the diseases my grandma and Senator McCain may have be completely different but both affected the brain. So that is why my heart goes out a little more to his family because I understand to an extent of what his family is going through.

As I watch the news about Senator McCain, I can’t help but be hit my grief to not just his death but the death of my grandma. As many of you know, I have been hit hard by a wave of grief of my grandma’s death within the last week even though her death was six and half months ago.

So, as I end this post I want to honor both Senator John McCain and my grandma. I may not be a conservative like Senator McCain, I admire his work as a war hero and politician. So, please take the time out today to honor Senator McCain and the loved ones you have lost just like I am going to do. Thank you for reading my blog. Please, if comment on this post, be respectful. I am honoring my grandma and Senator McCain. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!