Too Tired to Sleep

At this point in time I don’t really care if my blog is rated fucking G. I am getting extremely fucking angry at my neighbor who keeps pulling the fire alarm. I understand his frustration with others not wearing their mask but that doesn’t mean you put the fucking fire alarm. I’m sure sometime down the road I will laugh over this but right now it’s not exactly laughable. Well, I can giggle a little because the dude tells on himself when the firefighters arrive to the building. I honestly don’t know who is my angry myself and my neighbors or the fire department. I am pretty sure that the firefighter are just as tired as my neighbors and I with the about of times my neighbor has pulled the fire alarm.

On that note, I am pretty sure that the animals in my building aren’t happy about it either. I sure know my cat Billie Dean isn’t a happy camper about it. On a good note at least my neighbors with pets including myself are evacuating which means we get to know each other a little be more. Not exactly the way I would want to get to know my neighbors but at least we are getting to know each other.

The thing my neighbors and I don’t understand is why the dude is pulling the alarm for one or two people not wearing their mask. I know for a fact that I wear my mask but when the fire alarm goes off, I don’t always remember to wear my mask as I am too concerned with getting the hell out of the building with my cat. So, personally I don’t think this neighbor is exactly thinking this through.

The think that pisses me and my neighbors off the most as well as the fire department is that the police and apartment management aren’t doing shit about it. At least the fire department is fining the neighbor as well as the apartment building management. But sadly it doesn’t seem to be helping but at least the fire department is doing their job unlike the cops and apartment building management. Well it is four forty five in the morning I am going to try to get some sleep as I have to get up at seven o’clock in the morning for work. I just hope I am not a cranky bucket for work.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except that I want some fucking sleep and not have the fire alarm to go off again due to the idiot neighbor pulling the alarm. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate all of you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!! It’s now time to try to get back to sleep. Good night world, or maybe I should say good morning since it is four forty five in the morning. Peace Out, World

Angry As Fucking Hell Due to a Neighbor

Good Fucking, Morning, World!!!! I have been woken up four times in a matter of two fucking hours. One of my neighbors keeps pulling the fucking fire alarm because other neighbors are not wearing their goddamn mask. I understand being frustrated with other people not wearing their mask but don’t put the fire alarm.

The sad thing about it is that this dude admits it to the fire department who fines him as well as the building management. Sadly, the building management and the stupid cops are not doing shit about it. I personally think the dude needs to get arrested for it. I know for a fact I am not the only neighbor highly pissed over this situation.

I’m pissed about it because if I don’t get enough sleep then I will not be able to work and work in an appropriate manner. I work with people that have mental health issues and I need to be on top of my game to help my clients.

It’s frustrating as hell but at least my work is understanding for the most part. I just get going so i can get some form of sleep. Peace Our, World!!!

No, Going Back to Sleep for Me

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is 6:03am in the blasted morning and I was finally getting back to sleep after Billie Dean, my cat woke me up. I was almost a sleep and Billie was asleep snoring when the building fire alarm went of. One of my neighbors decided to put the fire alarm pull station again because another neighbor wasn’t not wearing mask. This isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm pull station when neighbors haven’t been wearing mask. The neighbor who does this pulls it because he wants the fire department to talk with the neighbors who don’t wear mask because of Covid-19. The only thing it is doing is making all the neighbors and the firefighters angry at this particular neighbor. I understand wanting others to wear mask due to the global pandemic but it’s common sense that you don’t pull the fire alarm for someone is not wearing a mask.

The thing is the fire alarm causes my anxiety and my PTSD symptoms to increase. It causes my anxiety to increase because I have to make sure I get my cat, Billie in his carrier and put on my shoes and jacket as well as remembering my keys and wallet as a blaring fire alarm with a strobe light going off. The alarm going off increases my PTSD because, I have been in three fires in my life; two as a child and one as an adult. It’s no fun dealing with PTSD of any kind but it takes me a while to finally get back to an okay place after the building fire alarm goes off.

Well, I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I appreciate all of you. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Being Angery in Grief While Doing Self Care

Good Evening, World!!! I am angry. I am angry that I am still grieving over my grandma almost four years ago as well as grieving the two year anniversary of my last cat, Lil Gertie tomorrow. Tomorrow (Thursday) is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I miss both my grandma and my last cat Lil Gertie. I know anger is part of grief but I wish it wasn’t part of grief.

I am missing my current cat, Billie Dean at the moment. Billie is spending about a week with my grandpa and uncles as I do some deep cleaning of my apartment. Deep cleaning with chemicals that could be damaging to both cats and humans. Anyway, I miss Billie very much and I love him so much and hopes he misses me.

On that note, I will be going to grandpa’s tomorrow which is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I get to spend it with my dad, grandpa, two uncles and of course my beloved cat, Billie. I’m really happy that I will be spending time with those who love me or try to love me to the best of their ability.

Since my emotions have been all over the place today especially in anger mode, I’ve been doing some self care. I’ve been listening to a podcast on philosophy and I am happy that I am being educated on the topic of philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” and I find it very educational. I love being educated on something I am no knowledgeable in.

While listening Philosophize This,” I have been doing some art work. Specifically, the type of artwork I am doing is coloring. Coloring and listening to a philosophy podcast has helped me deal with my emotions of today. I’m not so angry at the moment. I am still sad because I miss my last cat, Lil Brooke as well as my grandma, I know that they love me. I also know that doing art work and listening to a podcast on philosophy has be helpful to improve my emotions and lessen my anger. I still have people and my cat, Billie that love me.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I wouldn’t be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Fire Alarmed Pulled = Anger

Hello, World!!! UGH!!! I am currently angry as hell. I am angry because a neighbor pulled the fire alarm several times because other neighbors were not wearing their mask. I don’t understand why someone would continue to do this especially in the middle of the fucking night. I know I personally get annoyed with other not wearing their mask but I don’t pull the fire alarm. I am getting aggravated with this neighbor pulling the alarm because others are not wearing their mask.

Not only did the Seattle Fire Department show up but the Seattle Police Department showed up. SPD showed up because this isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm system due to other neighbors not wearing mask. Sadly, SPD isn’t arresting this dude for various reasons which sucks shit. The fire fighters are getting just as angry over this just like myself and my neighbors.

Billie Dean, my cat has been a trooper through all this. He didn’t fight with getting into his carrier which I am so very proud of him for do this. I love my cat so much. Sadly, we had to wait outside instead of inside of the lobby and community room area’s. It was called and rainy outside and let not forget the wind.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Getting Some Sleep but Not Much

Good Morning, World!!! I have finally gotten some sleep but sadly it has been interrupted sleep. It wasn’t interrupted due to insomnia but due to three of my neighbors not getting along and having many arguments in the hallway. Sadly these three neighbors have been arguing with each other in the mental of the hallway as the live in separate apartments and it felt like they were doing to annoy the rest of the floor I live on.

Anyway, it got worse to where violence got involve and it was noticeable to I looked out my door to makes sure. At this point in time, I came back into my own apartment and call the police. I was informed that I was the sixth person to call about it and it could be up to an hour. When I informed the police dispatcher that there was a weapon involved I was lectured for not saying something sooner about that when I thought it was their job to ask. Weather it was the dispatcher fault or mine about the weapon involved the police showed in less than five minutes.

The cops showed up and finally did something right and arrest the rest person and without causing violence despite my neighbors anger caused violence on another neighbor. The violence was caused by high emotions due to a misunderstanding that caused multiple arguments. The neighbor who caused the violence went to jail while the neighbor that got the crap beat out or them went to the hospital. The third neighbor was informed to call the police the next time around and not get involved.

After all this my own emotions are all over the place. I am hoping my emotions will level out so I can get some sleep. Of course my cat has been helping keep my emotions not as bad as they would be without my cat. Oh how I love my cat, Billie so much.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you my reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you, the reader, reading my blog, I would not be reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope you have a great Sunday ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

A Buttload of Emotions

Hello, World!!! Today, I have had a buttload of emotions. The main emotion that bothered me today was anger. Anger over a training at work. I know why I was angry and it really didn’t have anything to do with the training itself but the trainer. Even though the trainer didn’t do anything negative in the training today, I have had some pretty negative experiences with this person. The negative experiences I had with this person was about fifteen years ago and thought I was over it till I saw this person and realize that I wasn’t over it.

So, when the training was over I did a five minute mindfulness meditation practice. A mindfulness meditation practice that helped a great deal and did two more times before the end of work. All three times I did the mindfulness meditation practice helped a great deal.

After work I called a friend as a well as my grandpa. After talking with both my friend and grandpa on the phone, I visited a neighbor in my building who has become a friend. Talking with friends and family helped a great deal. I felt the love from friends and family and that helped with my anger.

Speaking of love, I felt the love from my cat, Billie Dean. He could tell I was have a challenging time so he sat on my lap. Billie being on my lap also helped my anger. I am so grateful that my cat, Billie, can tell when I am having tough moments like today. He is an amazing kitty and I love him so much.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reading I wouldn’t be blogging. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing With Uncomfortable Emotions

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am dealing with some uncomfortable emotions. Emotions most people, including myself, don’t want to deal with. I am dealing with anger, anxiety and depression which sucks but at least I know how to deal with these unwanted emotions. They may not go away as quickly as I would like but at least I know how to deal with these undesired emotions.

I have pretty much been doing some form of mindfulness and/or meditation practice most of today. I started out the day like I normally do by doing a mindfulness meditation from the Calm App which is quite helpful for me. Other ways I have been practicing mindfulness and meditation is by reading magazines that focus on mindfulness and/or meditation. I have also been journaling about what I am learning regarding mindfulness and meditation. Something else I have been doing is working on a workbook that’s main focus is mindfulness.

Something that I have realized through all this mindfulness and mediation practice is how much my cat, Billie Dean, helps me with mindfulness. In fact I realized this the first day I brought him home when I adopted him. Billie has many ways and behaviors he does to help me with realizing I need to slow down and be in the current moment. Billie has been quite helpful to me with this.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t be continuing to blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great evening ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Using My Privilege to Help Change

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am one fucking angry white person. I am angry because it appears me that the only time white people want to discuss anything about race is when something happens like in the case of George Floyd.  I think white people need to talk about the racism in our country everyday and need to figure out how to stop this hatred. It is up to white people to stop the systemic problems that people of color face on the daily basis. We need to have serious discussions on how we as white people can stop racism. It is up to white people to be ally’s to people of color and help them have their voice heard. It is up to us because the assholes in charge aren’t fucking listening.

As I end this post, I hope that white people will discuss how to stop racism. It is up to white people to end racism and NOT people of color to do so. In the coming weeks I have decided to have conversations with my white friends. I realize I could loose friends over such conversations and am willing to do so. I may not want to loose friends but am willing to do so, so I can at least be part of the solution and not the problem.

Say His Name; George Floyd

Hello, World!!! Right now many Americans like myself are angry as hell at the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota by a white police officer. Many people around Minneapolis as well as around the United States are protesting the unjust death of George Floyd.

In fact as I write this post, the protest here in Seattle is still happening. I wish I could be protesting but sadly I can not due to the fact I hurt my knee and need to keep it up. So, I am writing this post as part of an individualized protest. I want people to be aware that this white person (me) will NOT tolerate racism of any kind. This white person (me) will not tolerate the murder of people of color by white police officers. This white person (me) will do what I can to be an ally to people of color or any other marginalized group. White people around the United States as well as the world NEED to do what we can to end racism. It is up to white people to end racism.

George Floyd you will be remembered. You are not forgotten.