4th of July

Happy 4th of July, World!!! Yes, I know the 4th of July is an American holiday but I just wanted to wish everyone a happy fourth. I, normally don’t mind the Fourth of July but this year I am slightly irritated by it. I think I am irritated by it because the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis have increased which is why I am not going into work today. I informed my employer that due to my disability I can not go into work today. Thankfully, they appear to be okay with it especially since they were able to get coverage for my shift.

As much as I wish my mental health symptoms weren’t acting up, in a weird way I am glad they are. I am glad they are because my neighbor has been shooting off bottle rockets and other fireworks in front of the building as well as on the community patio which I have windows over looking both. Billie Dean my cat is not a big fan of the fireworks being so close. Billie doesn’t appear to be bothered when the fireworks are farther away but when they are just outside our window then he minds especially since we live on the second floor. It is illegal to set off fireworks in Seattle and my neighbor has been setting them off since Thursday evening. Sadly, the Seattle Police are not doing shit about them. What good does having laws in place when they are not enforce them? I know the police have higher priority calls to take care of but if something happens like a fire or an injury they they will have to respond. All I know is if a bottle rocket hits my window and causes damage, I will not be a happy camper.

I best be going as I am getting angry and don’t want to rant as if I do my anger might increase. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Challenging Week With a Good Ending

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night on a Friday night, Saturday morning and like every week I am staying up all night. I am staying up all night to sleep all day due to working a twelve plus hour night shift on Saturday nights.

It’s been a rough week for me. Tuesday night a neighbor of mine grabbed me in the vagina as I was passing him in the hallway to get to my apartment and I ended up with an injured wrist in the process of trying to get away. I went to the emergency room to get my wrist x-rayed. Thankfully it is broken. When I got home I called the Seattle Police Department and waited for the police to show up. Sadly, after four hours of waiting I fell asleep and they called. I didn’t get to the phone in time but they did leave a voicemail saying I would need to do the report online. Fuck the cops. If I wanted to do the report online I would have done it. I wanted to do an in person report due to the fact I wanted the cops to see how badly bruised my wrist was due to trying to flee from the situation.

Anyway the social worker at the hospital called my therapist and left him a message about what happened. My therapist emailed me asking if I wanted to check-in with him and gave me times he was available. Anyway I checked-in with him and we discussed ways to keep myself safe as well as why I decided to not file a police report online. It was only a half an hour check-in but I will be having a phone session with him next week and will discuss reporting it to the police.

As I mentioned my therapist and I discussed ways to keep myself safe as well to continue to live life and not isolate. So, I decided to go with a good friend of mine to the silent protest here in Seattle. I am beyond grateful that I attended with my friend. The cool thing about it is we were introduced to the Seattle Police Chief by my friends boss. The police chief actually participated in the silent protest. I may not be a big fan of the police but I am grateful that Seattle’s Police Chief actually appears to care about her community and the people she serves. Anyway, my friend brought me home and I made him dinner to go. He was grateful for the dinner.

I am beyond grateful that I attended the silent protest as I was able to stand with my friend and support him as well as contribute to such a worthy movement. As grateful as I am that I went, I am grateful that my cat has be helpful to me in regards to what happened to me. My cat, Billie is such a blessing to me and has helped me stay stable during this challenging time.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday. Most importantly I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Using My Privilege to Help Change

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am one fucking angry white person. I am angry because it appears me that the only time white people want to discuss anything about race is when something happens like in the case of George Floyd.  I think white people need to talk about the racism in our country everyday and need to figure out how to stop this hatred. It is up to white people to stop the systemic problems that people of color face on the daily basis. We need to have serious discussions on how we as white people can stop racism. It is up to white people to be ally’s to people of color and help them have their voice heard. It is up to us because the assholes in charge aren’t fucking listening.

As I end this post, I hope that white people will discuss how to stop racism. It is up to white people to end racism and NOT people of color to do so. In the coming weeks I have decided to have conversations with my white friends. I realize I could loose friends over such conversations and am willing to do so. I may not want to loose friends but am willing to do so, so I can at least be part of the solution and not the problem.

A Post About the Fear I Have for the People I Serve

Good Morning, World!!! At this very moment I am at work. I have been at work for ten and a half hours. I have another two and a half hours left of my shift. I am tired as hell. I will be eager to get home for many reasons but I need to get some shit off of my chest.

I work with homeless individuals for young adults. Many of whom aged out of the foster care system and have a major distrust of the police. Anyway, I work in a shelter that is in Downtown Seattle. Right in the middle of where the riots are. The thing that pisses me off is that many of the police officers have accused some of the young adults of looting. Sadly, many of the folks being accused are people of color and the police officers that are doing the accusing are white. I know for a fact that the young adults I work with were involved with the peaceful protest and had absolutely nothing to do with the riots as they didn’t want to be apart in harming their community. Many of the young adults were harassed by white police officers as they were trying to get to shelter. Many of the folks I work with just want justice for George Floyd and many other like Mr. Floyd that were senselessly murdered by white cops.

I just hope that people realize that the murder of George Floyd needs to be dealt with. I say this because people of color live in fear everyday of their life that some white person or even worse a white cop will kill them. I worry most about the homeless folks who are of color as they get harassed even more than other people. Please lets all just take care of each other.

As I end this post here at work, there is still a major police presence and the National Guard is present as well. Sadly, people are still committing arson as well as looting. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you have taken the time to read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Please protest peacefully. Stay safe while you are out protesting. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Peace Out, World!!!

Say His Name; George Floyd

Hello, World!!! Right now many Americans like myself are angry as hell at the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota by a white police officer. Many people around Minneapolis as well as around the United States are protesting the unjust death of George Floyd.

In fact as I write this post, the protest here in Seattle is still happening. I wish I could be protesting but sadly I can not due to the fact I hurt my knee and need to keep it up. So, I am writing this post as part of an individualized protest. I want people to be aware that this white person (me) will NOT tolerate racism of any kind. This white person (me) will not tolerate the murder of people of color by white police officers. This white person (me) will do what I can to be an ally to people of color or any other marginalized group. White people around the United States as well as the world NEED to do what we can to end racism. It is up to white people to end racism.

George Floyd you will be remembered. You are not forgotten.

A Complaining Post Full of Anxiety

Hello, World!!! Right now I am full of anxiety and not very happy with my two of my neighbors. These two neighbors have been loud for hours on end, nearly everyday for the last two months. They are extremely loud with loud music on the community patio and have been doing this since the stay at home order. Most of the time they are drinking alcohol and I am sure that doesn’t help with them being quiet.

On that note, these two neighbors obviously had too much alcohol today and while on the patio got into a fight. I heard the yelling and looked out the window. When I looked out the window, I noticed them fighting so I call 911. The Seattle police came and broke it up. One of the neighbors got arrested while the other one went to the hospital to get checked out. Anyway, one of the Seattle cops asked me why I didn’t report the noise. I explained that when I did twice before I was informed by the non-emergency line that Seattle Police weren’t responding to noise complaint no matter what time it is due to the fact of Covid-19. The police officer said that is not true but thankfully a superior officer overheard and backed up what I said. I know without a shadow of doubt that my two neighbors wouldn’t have been so noisy for two months if it wasn’t because of this stupid pandemic.

Anyway, after all this my anxiety was extremely high, I decided to do some meditation and mindfulness practice which helped me a great deal. My cat, Billie also helped me more than he could ever know. If it wasn’t for the mindfulness and meditation practices as well as my cat, I don’t know how long my anxiety would have lasted. Hell, my anxiety is still high but not as high as it was.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety + Insomnia = No Sleep For Me

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep. Having anxiety doesn’t help the fact that I have insomnia and due to both sleep is a no go for me at the moment.

Long story short, my apartment building has a community patio and my apartment is right above it. I live on the second floor and of course the patio is on the first floor. Anyway, the same two neighbors have been constantly loud and noisy for hours on end nearly everyday of the week for two months now. I have complained about it to the apartment management and they can’t or won’t do anything about. I have called the Seattle Police non-emergency line on two occasions and due to the pandemic aren’t dealing with noise complaints at this time. So, it is starting to affect my anxiety big time. It bothers me that my neighbors don’t give a shit and that neither the apartment management nor Seattle police are doing anything about it. On a good note, I have emailed all my complaints so they are dated and time stamped and in three of the five complaints I mentioned it was effecting my physical and mental health as well as my disability. I informed them of this as a precaution to protect my ass. Thankfully, I am not the only neighbor bothered by the loud and noisy neighbors.

Another thing that probably isn’t helping with my insomnia is my part time job working at night. In fact it’s a twelve hour night shift. I like my job for the most part. I just don’t like it being twelve hours at night. I don’t do well with night shifts. Something I have done was apply for two jobs yesterday (Monday, May 18th, 2020) to work at local nonprofits. I also put in an application about a month ago at Costco. I am not holding my breath on any of the jobs especially at this point in time with Covid-19 going on.

One of the things that has been helping with the Covid-19 stay at home order is my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is such a lap cat who loves his belly rubbed. Billie also loves his two front paws massaged. I am beyond grateful for Billie and love him so much. I do miss my last cat Lil Gertie and think of her everyday. I talk to Billie about her. Billie love his cat tree and looking out the window. He appears to be entertained by the crows and squirrels which entertains me. If it wasn’t for Billie I am more than positive that my anxiety would be higher with my loud ass neighbors on the patio.

I don’t have much else to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my post. I hope everyone has a great rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sunny Monday In Seattle

Happy Monday and Good Morning, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. Sadly, I have also realized that at this point in time I am not blog on average of three times a week as I had stated in a New Years goal I want to accomplish for 2019. I, say an average of three times a week as life happens and I might not be able to write multiple times a week. Even though it is two days before May Day (May 1st), I can still accomplish the goal of blogging an average of three times a week this year as the year isn’t even half over yet.

Since we are on the topic of not blogging I do have a legitimate excuse for not blogging for nearly a week. Long story short I live in a “secure building” and as I was unlocking my door to my apartment someone came up from behind me from a stairwell hardly nobody uses and shove me into my apartment. While in my apartment, the person physically assaulted me and I personally thing he would have sexually assaulted me if given the chance as he attempted to pull down the pants I had on at the time. I started screaming and at this time from my understanding two neighbors called 911. One of the neighbors who called 911 then knocked on my door which scared the person physically assaulting me and the dude went running down the hall. This is when I called 911. I did inform the 911 dispatcher that I needed medical attention as I was hit in the head with a hammer. The dispatcher kept me on the phone till the fire department came to my door. The firefighters asked where the police were and I said “I have no clue” and they then radioed their dispatcher asking for Seattle Police to come to the scene. Long story short, it took Seattle Police officer 45 minutes from the first 911 call to finally show up. The police figure printed my door and the fire department took me to the closest hospital for treatment. I have a concussion.

Due to the concussion I have been laying low and doing a lot of self care. Self care that include a lot of things, one of which involve an art class I signed up for that is free for folks who are involved with certain programs. I, signed up for an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling” and it started last Friday (April 26th). I really think I am going to enjoy it. I am grateful that it is free and that I qualify for taking it. I am looking forward what I am going to learn in this class.

I have also done many other things to do self care which I may or may not discuss in another post as staring at my laptop screen is causing me to get another headache due to the concussion I have from the assault I experienced last week. Headaches suck shit but headaches due to a concussion suck shit even more.

I am going to go for now. The weather is wonderful today in Seattle and I want to enjoy it for multiple reasons. Plus, it is a great form of self care to enjoy the sun. I love when the Seattle weather is awesome like today.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things and hope you all continue to read my blog. I hope everyone has a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!

An Eventful Outing

Good Afternoon, World!!! I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine that I pick up once a week. I have been going to the same pharmacy in my neighborhood for nearly nineteen years and have seen my fair share of characters in the store. Anyway, I was chatting with the pharmacist and pharmacy tech when we all noticed a customer get shoved to the floor by the Loss Prevention (LP) dude for “shoplifting.” When the store manager came over to see what was going on he ended up needing to look at video photo-age to make sure the person who was tackled actually took something. While doing this the LP (or security officer) sat on the person and called 911. Seattle Police showed up and by this time the store manager informs the LP dude that the person he just tackled did not take anything and now the person has a broken arm due to being tackled and trying to break their fall. Needless to say the person who got tackled was taken to the hospital and Seattle Police talked with witness’s and looked at the video. So, after I talked with the police I finally got my meds and the LP dude was getting handcuffed. I am assuming for excessive force  or something along those lines. I am not against Loss Prevention as I use to work at a grocery store for ten years but I am against LP’s putting their hands on people when it is not necessary. Same goes with the police but in this case the police actually did something right and arrested the LP dude.

After seeing all this, I realized I needed to take the long way home. By the long way home I mean taking the scenic route home for a longer walk. Walking helps me with my anxiety. After picking up my meds and an extra long walk, I decided to make me lunch. As I was eating my lunch the building fire alarm decided to malfunction once again. So, I put Lil Gertie into her carrier and we went downstairs to the lobby. As the fire department was doing what they needed to do to turn off the alarm and make sure there was no fire a couple of my neighbors decided to get into a fist fight. So, one of the firefighters got in between the two that were fighting while another called dispatch to get the police to the building. Thankfully, nobody got hurt and the police arrived quickly. Neither one of the people fighting were arrested and neither one of them wanted to press charges which I personally think both parties should have been arrested.

Now that, Lil Gertie and I are back in my apartment, Lil Gertie is curled up in her hiding place as I blog and finish eating my lunch. I should really get going and finish my lunch. I didn’t sleep well last night and need to take a nap. So, after eating, I will take a nap and try to post later on today. I hope everyone has a better day than I have had so far. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Phuck Guns; A Shooting Woke Many People Up Including Myself

Good Morning, World!!! I feel asleep binge watching a television show on Netflix like I informed you I was going to do in my last post. Unfortunately, I was woken up by gun shots from outside my apartment building and not the television show that was still playing on Netflix.  No, I will no discuss gun control in this post but might speak of ii in another post.

I looked out my window and saw the shooter still shooting the person who was already on the ground. Unfortunately, the shooting victim didn’t make it but the shooter was thankfully caught with the gun still on their person. I was one of many individuals who called 911. There was but load of police, paramedics and firefighters to deal with what happened in front of my building. Sadly, the shooting victim was a person who lived in my building the person who did the shooting use to live in my apartment build who was recently evicted.

Both the fire department and police departments sent out their Chaplin’s to talk with us who live in my apartment building. Neither the police department nor the fire department had to do that but I am glad they did. They also called out the Red Cross to help us out if we needed to talk with crisis workers. The management company of apartment building I live in is actually bringing crisis workers who deal with this sort of thing. The crisis workers will be here later today and the rest of the week.

Good thing I have my cat to help me through all this even though she was scared of the sound of the gun shots.  She was freaked out but not as freaked out as I thought should would be. She has been by my side ever since the shooting when I have been in my apartment. Lil Gertie, my cat, has been quite helpful for me in regards to trauma, PTSD, depression and other mental health challenges.

Good thing  I am going to group therapy as well as seeing my therapist.  Talking with my therapist about this and everything that has happened this wee with being assaulted in the hospital on Sunday plus the multiple fire alarms will be a great help to me. Being triggered is not a good thing. Even though some of the fire alarms going off over the weekend were due to malfunctions, a couple of the fire alarms were due to actual fires because people started cooking and decided to do drugs and well their stove and/or kitchen caught on fire.

So, yes, I have had quite a week that most likely create more PTSD symptoms as well as trigger other PTSD symptoms. I am happy that I will be seeing my therapist today. Also it is a good thing I have a busy day today as I mention in my last post or maybe the post before my last post.  I am happy that I will be able keep what happened earlier out of my mind a little bit easier today as it is going to be a busy one and I get to see my therapist and spend time with friends later. I also have a work training which will be quite helpful. Tomorrow (Thursday) is the day I am most worried about however I will discuss that with my therapist today and crisis counselors that will be in my apartment building for the rest of the week a maybe part of next week.

Like I said I will not discuss gun control in this particular post but I want you to be forewarned that there might be a post later on in regards to gun control as I am grieving along side with my neighbor of the shooting death of a neighbor. Please keep me and my neighbors in your thoughts and send out positive thoughts and vibes our way and maybe even prayers. I am not praying person but it never hurts to ask for them.

Thank you so much for reading my blog especially this one since it is a triggering one as well as a very lengthy post. I appreciate that you all read my blog. I hope everyone has a good Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!