Tag Archives: Therapist

My Meds Aren’t Working

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, Word!!! My medication is not working. Friend and family are saying that it appear that I am on drugs when I am not on drugs. MY meds aren’t working like they are suppose to. My friends and family think I am using drugs when in reality my meds are not working properly. The last thing I want is people thinking I am on drugs.

On that note, I let my doctor, therapist and psychiatrist know vie email and phone call. I know that is a bit much but I just wanted to make sure they were made aware of it. Plus my meds are making me funny and they should know about that. I hope they get back to me soon.

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Yesterday Was Not a Good Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World or at least it is three twenty one in the morning in Seattle. Yesterday (Tuesday) was not a good day for me. I ended up in the hospital twice in the Emergency Room due to being suicidal. First time I went in it was four something in morning and was discharged. Thankfully I got home just in time for my psychiatric nurse practitioner called me for our phone appointment, She put me on Ativan which was a good thing.

Being home was not a good thing so I called my therapist who is fairly new to me and appears to be a great therapist. I also called one of the supervisors who happens to be my therapist supervisor. I called the both and left them both an email. The supervisor suggested to go back to the hospital so I did. But the first thing I did was have my grandpa and uncle pick up Billie with his supplies to take to grandpa. My uncle and grandpa dropped me back at the same hospital I was earlier.

On that note they had already did shift change and the social worker on duty was surprised to see me as I’m not going to the Emergency Room for mental health in over four years. Partly glad it was her and partly wish she wasn’t her. She pointed out some stuff I needed to hear which let me come back home. I’m glad she helped me make that decision as I fear if I ended back in a psych ward I most likely would have retreated to old behavior.

As of right now I can’t sleep for unknown reasons so I took an Ativan to help with my anxiety since Billie my cat is with my grandpa and uncle. I know Billie is in good hands but I sure do miss the little dude. Well not so little as he is fifteen and a half pounds. He could loos a few pounds just like I do.

I do not have much to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am having the case of the Monday blues. I can blame it on the typical weather here in Seattle. I can blame it on my messy ass apartment. I can blame it on my right knee being in pain. Hell, I can blame it on everything I just mentioned which is part of why I am partly depressed.

Not only am experiencing depression from what I just mentioned, I am experiencing it from my actual diagnosis of depression. Sadly, I can also contribute the depression the anxiety that I have been having. The increased anxiety and depression is partly because I was physically attacked by a neighbor a few weeks ago.

When I got attacked I didn’t call the police first because I thought going to the emergency room first was the most important thing I could do so I did. Sadly, I am still in pain in my right knee. Specifically, my right is the knee that is bone on bone arthritis which sucks shit when it got injured while being physically attack.

The attack finally caught up to me both physically and mentally. I took today off due to the depression and anxiety while being in knee pain. That is why I am taking tomorrow off due to going to the doctor’s office to get my knee checked out by my doctor. I will also be seeing my therapist like I always do on Tuesdays.

As much as I wish I worked today and can work tomorrow but I need to focus on myself so I can help my clients. If I’m not doing well physically or mentally, how can I be have help to the clients I serve.

On that note, my cat Billie Dean is helping me so much. Billie is helping a great deal with both my anxiety and depression. Billie’s unconditional love for me is amazing and helps me love other people. Pets can also help with depression and anxiety and help with the healing process of health issues.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Restarting Something Helping Me with My Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Night, World!!! It is nearly midnight in my neck of the world known as Seattle. At the beginning of this years I started going to a twelve-step program that more focused on recovery with changing yourself than exclusively only using the twelve-steps. The twelve-steps is more of a guide and the focus of changing yourself and reparenting yourself is the key to this program. Anyway, I hadn’t been in over six months till tonight and am grateful I went. I am thinking this will be part of my recovery as I need to learn to deal with my inner child and how to reparent myself.

In fact this something I have been starting work on with my relatively new therapist. So, I feel like going to this program and therapy will be have great help in my own recovery. Therapy and the twelve-step program isn’t the only way I need to continue to help with my recovery is going for daily walks twice daily, doing daily mindfulness meditation practice and of course spending time with my beloved cat, Billie Dean. Billie really helps my recovery.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

My Job is Awesome & I Love My Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I just want to tell you that I love my job and it’s completely awesome. Yes, my job has it’s rough days however, I love it most days. Today, was one of many days I love. My job can be emotionally draining which is why I do my best to do good self care especially when my depression symptoms are acting up.

One of the ways I do good self care is go to therapy and stay in regular contact with her. For instance, I emailed my therapist to let her know about what is going on. She emailed me back thanking me for keeping her updated on things. I email her so when I see her next we can discuss it.

Another way I do self care is taking care of my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie is trying is hardest to “help” me write this particular blog post. I love my cat so much. It is hard to believe I’ve had him one year and seven and half months. Billie helps me realize there is more to this world than my job and myself. I am beyond grateful for Billie and love him so much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Evening Rambling

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today has been an overall great day with some sadness. Sadness because I found out today while having an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner is leaving in a month and today was my last appointment. I am grateful that she informed me yet sad that she is leaving.

Not only was today my last session with my psychiatric nurse practitioner, it was also my last session with my therapist. I did know that he was leaving. I am quite sad that my therapist is leaving and wish he wasn’t.

One of the things that has been helping me is my cat, Billie Dean. I think Billie senses that I have been dealing with sadness off and on all day, today. I don’t think people realize how comforting cats can be and I love my cat, Billie so very much.

Now on to a different topic. The topic of twelve step meetings. A friend of mine and I were talking over Zoom about our families and how dysfunctional they were and are. This friend let me know of a great twelve step organization that has a twelve step focus with a lot of recovery principals to the group. I attended my first meeting of this particular twelve step meeting last Friday over Zoom and really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it enough that I ordered the proper literature which came today and attended my second meeting over Zoom today. I will be continuing to attend as I find it quite helpful.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

So Far, A Weird A$$ Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a challenging day for me and it is still relatively early in the day. Hell, it is still considered early afternoon here in Seattle. I tried taking a nap when I got home from work but sadly the nap only lasted for two hours.

Since I was unable to sleep for very long during my nap, I decided to get up and spend time with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is very much a lap cat who loves his belly being petted. Out of all the cats I have had throughout my life, Billie is the only one who doesn’t mind his belly being rubbed. In fact Billie loves his belly rubbed. He will turn over on his back so he can have his belly rubbed.

After spending some time with my cat Billie and the weather is not in a down pour of rain, I decided to go for a walk to Cowen and Ravenna Parks. Yes, I did say in my last post I would go to Cowen and Ravenna Park but it was looking like it was going to be a really soggy day here in Seattle. Anyway, while I walking around both parks I ran into my therapist as he was walking his two dogs. Before I went and said hi to my therapist I looked around to see if he was with anyone besides his dogs. I just didn’t want to put him in an awkward situation if he was with somebody and had to explain who I was even though he can’t acknowledge how he knows me. Anyway, I noticed he was only with his dogs so I went up and said hello. We talked for a few moments as I petted his dogs. He has some pretty chill and loving dogs. As we spoke we talked about his dogs and my cat. (No, I did not take my cat to the park.) We discussed how pets are quite helpful for people’s mental health. After about fifteen minute of talking about our pets and the weather we went our separate ways. It was just slightly awkward for me to see my therapist in the area I live in.

Now that I am home from my walk through Ravenna and Cowen Park, I will be spending more time with my beloved cat, Billie. I think Billie is happy that I spend time with him.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Challenging Week With a Good Ending

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night on a Friday night, Saturday morning and like every week I am staying up all night. I am staying up all night to sleep all day due to working a twelve plus hour night shift on Saturday nights.

It’s been a rough week for me. Tuesday night a neighbor of mine grabbed me in the vagina as I was passing him in the hallway to get to my apartment and I ended up with an injured wrist in the process of trying to get away. I went to the emergency room to get my wrist x-rayed. Thankfully it is broken. When I got home I called the Seattle Police Department and waited for the police to show up. Sadly, after four hours of waiting I fell asleep and they called. I didn’t get to the phone in time but they did leave a voicemail saying I would need to do the report online. Fuck the cops. If I wanted to do the report online I would have done it. I wanted to do an in person report due to the fact I wanted the cops to see how badly bruised my wrist was due to trying to flee from the situation.

Anyway the social worker at the hospital called my therapist and left him a message about what happened. My therapist emailed me asking if I wanted to check-in with him and gave me times he was available. Anyway I checked-in with him and we discussed ways to keep myself safe as well as why I decided to not file a police report online. It was only a half an hour check-in but I will be having a phone session with him next week and will discuss reporting it to the police.

As I mentioned my therapist and I discussed ways to keep myself safe as well to continue to live life and not isolate. So, I decided to go with a good friend of mine to the silent protest here in Seattle. I am beyond grateful that I attended with my friend. The cool thing about it is we were introduced to the Seattle Police Chief by my friends boss. The police chief actually participated in the silent protest. I may not be a big fan of the police but I am grateful that Seattle’s Police Chief actually appears to care about her community and the people she serves. Anyway, my friend brought me home and I made him dinner to go. He was grateful for the dinner.

I am beyond grateful that I attended the silent protest as I was able to stand with my friend and support him as well as contribute to such a worthy movement. As grateful as I am that I went, I am grateful that my cat has be helpful to me in regards to what happened to me. My cat, Billie is such a blessing to me and has helped me stay stable during this challenging time.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday. Most importantly I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Mindful Monday Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is just another day in Seattle except it was a day I was able to see a friend I haven’t seen since the last day of school our freshman year of high school. She is here on a business trip and it was great to see this friend after nearly 25 years of not seeing her. The best part of seeing this friend was seeing her reaction the weather in Seattle today. Today’s Seattle report goes like this: Sun, Rain, More Sun, Snow, More Sun, Drizzle, More Sun which isn’t surprising to those of us who have lived here for quite some time. My friend asked me if this was “normal weather,” and my answer was “what you see is what you get” and then we both laughed. My friend said she wouldn’t be able to get use to weather like today and I said good we don’t need anymore people and we laughed again. It was nice seeing this friend and will be seeing her again tomorrow evening.

Now that I am home for the evening, I am missing my beloved cat immensely. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about my cat, Lil Gertie. I will be getting another kitty, eventually. My therapist wrote a letter as well as filled out the proper paperwork for me to turn into my landlord to be able to get approved for a reasonable accommodation for an emotional support animal (ESA). My new therapist concurs with my previous therapist that having an animal around for me would be helpful for my recovery. I have to agree that having a cat is quite helpful for my mental health recovery. So, once I get an emotional support animal approved by my landlord I will be getting another kitty.

Having an emotional support animal is just one of many ways to help me with my recovery. Another way to help me with my recovery is to listen to some mindfulness meditation twice daily. This has helped me with my anxiety as well being able to be more focused on what I need to do in the moment and for the day.  Now on something else that is a type of meditation for me.

That is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. There is something meditative about Bob Ross and his paintings. I am able to be mindful watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I will be attempting to paint what he does but I am sure it won’t look like

A Wednesday Evening Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am still dealing with increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and have emailed my therapist regarding it. I emailed my therapist regarding the increased symptoms just to have him be aware of the situation even though I personally think the increased mental health symptoms are due to the health issues I am dealing with. The health issues I am dealing with happen to be a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection.” It is not uncommon for me to have an increase mental health symptoms whenever I have an UTI which just makes things the much more uncomfortable. My therapist emailed me back about the email sent him about me struggling and he too “hope symptoms improves” as my infections improve. I am grateful that I have a therapist that is supportive.

I just got back from Red Robin with a friend who lives in my apartment building. I treated my friend to Red Robin as a thank you for putting up with my shit. My friend is an awesome individual and extremely caring. She was and is very appreciative of me taking her to Red Robin. We ended up having the same thing at Red Robin which was The Whiskey Barbecue Burger with bottomless fries. She had an ice tea to drink while I had a freckled lemonade which is strawberry lemonade. It was nice to spend time with a good friend at my favorite restaurant.

When I arrived home from dinner at Red Robin with my friend, I noticed that the three books I ordered from Amazon arrived. Thankfully, they left them outside my apartment door instead of outside the apartment building door. The three books I ordered are about race as I want to be a better ally to people of color. I also order two more books from Amazon about race. One of which should arrive tomorrow and the other book is on back order and should arrive at the end of September. I am going to start off reading the book “How To Be An AntiRacist” by Ibram X. Kendi. I will let you know how the book is and will do a book review on it. Reading is one of my go to things to help my mental health symptoms and anytime I can be educated on anything is a plus. I really hope I can get a better understanding about race as I want to be the best ally I can be. If anyone has any books about race to suggest, it would be greatly appreciated. Remember, I have three that arrived today including the one I mention, two on the way from Amazon and one in my Amazon cart. So, if you suggest a book that I may have or will have don’t take offence if I say something that “I have it” or “its on the way” or “its in the cart.” I look forward to all the good reads.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good rest of your evening as well as your week. Peace Out, World!!!