Tag Archives: Mental Health

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is way too early to be awake. I am awake due to a stupid nightmare. A nightmare that was a screaming nightmare and the only reason why I know this is because a neighbor called the police and they showed up to make sure I am okay. I informed the police that I am in fact okay and that I had a nightmare. They understood and left. I know the police were just doing their job but when your trauma related nightmare involved a police officer and the police show up, it doesn’t really help the PTSD. Again, it is not the police officers fault that a neighbor called nor is it my neighbors fault for making sure I was okay due to my screaming while having a nightmare. I just wish my nightmare wasn’t a screaming one.

On that note, my cat, Billie, is helping a great deal. He is currently laying in my lap purring as I write this particular blog post. I love my cat so very much and can’t imagine my life without him. He is such an amazing cat that loves to spend as much time in my lap as he can get. I am glad he is able to help me self regulate especially after a nightmare.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Just Another Post About Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I had therapy today and it was a virtual appointment as it has been for the last year due to me working. My next appointment will be an in person appointment which I am thrilled about. My therapist and I will attempt to make a more set schedule for in person appointments now that I am not currently working.

My therapist and I of course discussed being pregnant. We discussed how being pregnant most likely will trigger my PTSD due to having the OBGYN checking me down below the belt on the monthly basis while pregnant. We discussed the things I could do to help me if I get triggered by getting examined by the OBGYN.

We also discussed a hard traumatic event that happened to me when I was a child. My therapist validated this experience and reiterated that I am not the monster despite me feeling like a monster. My therapist is really awesome and I am grateful that she is a safe person to talk with and that she makes therapy a safe place.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What’s Your Dream Job

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What’s your dream job?
View all responses

My dream job is being a peer specialist that works in the emergency room of a hospital. I would love to be able to help those at the most challenging time of their life whether it is mental health related or physical health related. Having someone there to help a patient in the emergency room could ultimately help them get the best care possible. I just think emergency rooms could benefit from having a peer specialist in them.

Hump Day Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I do a mid week update in which I like to call hump day update due to it being Wednesday. As I mentioned in my last post, I had my first OBGYN appointment yesterday after medically confirming last Friday with my primary care provider that I am pregnant. The OBGYN discussed the risk of being pregnant in your mid forties and that many people have healthy babies. The OBGYN also discussed my mental health diagnosis and her concerns about postpartum depression which is understandable and I will be working with her and my mental health treatment team about it. Junior and I are looking forward to being parents.

I have also been applying for jobs. Jobs that can be challenging especially for a high risk pregnancy but I really would like to work again as I really miss working and the feeling of being a productive member of society. I miss working and I realize this might not be the best time to look for a job since I am pregnant but many people work when they are pregnant.

I do not have much more to update you on for the hump day update. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update on First OBGYN Appointment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just wanted to inform you of what the OBGYN said yesterday in my first appointment with her. Junior did attend the appointment with me as he is the father. My OBGYN is as sweet as can be as well as very direct. She informed me of the risk to myself and the fetus due to being in my mid forties and that many people deliver “healthy babies” at my age.

My OBGYN discussed a lot of the risk of having a baby at my age but also stated she deals with high risk pregnancies. She also deals with many folks with an extensive trauma history like mine and understands fully how traumatic it can be having someone look below the belt several times during the nine months of pregnancy and during delivery. She was honest with me stating there is a high possibility of me having a c-section due to all the scarring down below the belt from the severe trauma I experienced throughout my life.

We also discussed a great deal about my mental health challenges and how I am at “greater risk” for postpartum depression. We talked about staying on most of my psych meds and continuing to seek treatment from my mental health treatment team. I let the OBGYN that I had no plans of stopping treatment with my mental health team and that I was glad to hear we were on the same page regarding meds. The only meds the OBGYN wants me to not take until I see my psychiatric nurse practitioner which are the Ativan and the Ambien. Both of these meds are PRN’s for me as well as controlled substances which can put the baby at greater harm. I am pretty sure my psychiatric nurse practitioner will agree with the OBGYN and myself regarding not taking the Ativan and Ambien as she is pretty knowledgeable with this kind of stuff.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on a recovery workbook

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • Go to Emerald House (a mental health club house)
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery workbooks

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • OBGYN appointment
  • Lunch with Junior and mutual friends
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery workbooks

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery workbooks
  • 12 Step virtual meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery workbooks
  • Dinner with friends and Junior

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • Go to Emerald House (a mental health club house)
  • Virtual appointment with therapist
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery workbooks
  • Movies and dinner with friends

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the calm app
  • Morning walk
  • University District Farmers Market with friends
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery workbook
  • Dinner with best friend

Hump Day Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Wednesday which means it is time for a mid week update or what I like to call it; Hump Day Update. The only thing I really have to update you on is something I want to confirm with my doctor first and I see her for my annual wellness check this Friday. Overall, things are going relatively well. Things with Junior are going quite well and my mom is quite happy that we are back together. Of course my dad and grandpa “approve” of Junior because he has always treated me well.

I do not have much more to update you on in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Coloring to Help the Inner Child Within

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning, Seattle time. I woke up from a nightmare about an hour ago and I feel like a scared little kid. A scared little kid that had to grow up fast in childhood. Since I am feeling like a scared little kid I have been coloring as I find it quite helpful to connect with my inner child that had to grow too fast. Coloring is also a mindfulness practice for me as it helps become grounded and present as well as to stay grounded and present in the moment.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Thing I Would Love To Witness Is A Flash Mob

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am not sure how I am doing and would like to let you know something I would love to witness and have honestly only informed one person of it in my entire life which I would really love to witness a flash mob singing and playing musical instruments. I realize this is weird and that only one other person in my life is aware of it seems unusual however I really don’t want people to gear the flash mob for me. I would like to enjoy it without being embarrassed as well as have other people just enjoy it and not focus on me. I think witnessing one would be fun and I hope I can witness one in my lifetime. I know it seems silly to want to witness a flash mob but I think it would make me happy as well as make other people happy.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What Are Your Biggest Challenges

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
View all responses

I can spend all day listing my challenges as I have so many of them already however I am not going to do that. I will say that my biggest challenges are myself as well as PTSD and Depression.

I am one of my biggest challenges because I can get in the way of myself in many different ways and can prevent myself from accomplishing great things in my community. I get in the way of myself by a lot of negative self talk which isn’t good for anyone especially those like me who have a mental health diagnosis.

Speaking of mental health diagnoses, my own diagnoses are challenging. Some moments are more challenging than other moments. Knowing when certain times of the year are harder than other times of year can be quite helpful to make sure those moments don’t have to be as challenging.