Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Eight: Pleasure

Bring on the Challenge

by Gertie

Bring on the Challenge of pleasure during uncertain times.

Bring on the challenge of enjoying simple things like coloring when mental health symptoms increase.

Bring on the challenge of walking through nature when life gets too hard.

Bring on the challenge of being yourself in a cruel world.

Just bring on the challenge of what you desire.

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Seven: Flavor

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

The smell of salt water

and the feel of the waves splashing in my face

reminds me of a more peaceful time in my childhood

A childhood that was full of trauma but at least there

were good moments.

Good moments like the taste of a double scoop ice cream cone

with mint & chip flavor and cookies & cream flavor

while at the beach on an extra hot day in California.

Update on Life the Last 24 Hours

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just want to update on life in the last twenty-four hours. First lets start off with my job interview yesterday. Overall, I think it went quite well. There were many awkward moments in the interview but went well. If I get the job, I will like the schedule for the most part. I will have to change some things with my volunteer job but it is workable. Even though the interview went well, I am not holding my breath that I will get the job. I just do not want to get my hopes up too high.

Now back to a couple of hours ago. I took my cat, Billie Dean, into the vet. Don’t worry Billie is just fine and dandy. He went to the vet to get his nails trimmed. It took longer than usual because the vet techs and vet wanted some cuddle time with Billie. The vet even took two dollars off the bill for letting her and her vet techs have cuddle time with my “love bug.” I cannot deny that Billie is a “love bug.”

Now on to a previous post in the last few days about me taking a couple of courses WordPress does for free. I signed up for the courses a couple of days ago and have assignments that I will start on tonight. I will be posting those assignments starting tomorrow. The courses I am taking our: Writing: Intro to Poetry and Photography: Developing Your Eye I. I have done both of these course before and loved them. So I am doing them again. Plus, I feel like if I do these courses again they will be of help to me to blog on the more regular basis. I want to blog on the regular basis to keep you my followers and regular readers engaged.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Valentines Day of Grief

Happy Valentines Day, World!!! I have never been a big fan of Valentines Day because, why do you need a selected day to say “I love you.” Plus it adds added pressure to relationships to make sure the day is special which isn’t the best thing for relationships.

Despite the usual reason, I am not a big fan of Valentines Day is that my grandma died on Valentines Day of 2018. So, today marks the two year anniversary of my grandma’s death. She died due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease. My grandma fought hard for her life as well for those she loved especially her family. I miss my grandma so much but I know she is looking down on me as my guardian angel.

Billie Dean my new cat is helping me through today by just being himself. He is being the lovable, cuddly, talkative and playful self he is to be. I am so grateful that he chose me when he did. I love my Billie Dean.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday and Valentines Day. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Check In Post

Good Morning, World!!! As many of you know is that today is the first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. This means it is the shortest day of the year which is never a good thing for me when it comes to the symptoms of my mental health challenges especially the depression. Despite it being a not so good day for the symptoms of my mental health challenges, I have created ways to make it a good day.

First and fore most, I am looking forward to spending the first day of Yule with my friends this evening. I love spending time with friends anytime of the year especially when it comes to celebrating them or their beliefs. I do have to mention that I am having anxiety over this get together and I am unsure why. I have done this get together with these friends for several years now. Granted, I may have anxiety over this get together for some unknown reason but I am really looking forward to spending the first day of Yule with my friends.

It appears that life is throwing me a wrench at the moment with increased anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that come when it is the most inconvenient of times but then again there is no convenient time for symptoms to surface. I did email my therapist about the increase of symptoms and that I am not in need of a check in at the moment. I emailed him just to make him aware of what was going on so if I need a check in, he is not surprised.

Before I end this post, I want to remind you my reader about the ads on my blog. I have ads on my blog to earn extra money. The only way I make the money is if you my reader click on to the ads. I am hoping that you my reader can click on the ads so I can earn a few extra cents to dollars. I am hoping that enough people click on the ads so I can get paid the money. The only way they pay out the money is if you reach one hundred dollars and if you don’t reach out one hundred dollars the money just sits there until you collect enough money that reaches one hundred dollars. I hope that you all can do me this favor. I need about twenty dollars to reach one hundred dollars to collect it. So I beg you to click on the ads so I can reach the one hundred dollars.

Thank you for reading my blog and I apologize for begging you to click on the ads. Once I reach one hundred dollars is the moments I turn off the ads on my blog. Again thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great Friday and awesome Winter Solstice. Blessed Yule to everyone who celebrates Yule. I hope everyone also has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite A Good Day, I’m Still A Lil Sad

Good Evening, again, World!!! I realize that I just posted about an hour ago about being an adult and doing adulting type of stuff then allowing myself to turn into a child. I’ve realized I needed that childhood part of today because I am really missing my grandma right now. She passed away a Valentines Day of this year (2018). My grandpa turns eighty eight on Thursday and my grandma died exactly one month after she turned eighty eight. I think he might not make it more than month past his 88th birthday.

His birthday is this Thursday and I plan on celebrating it with him because its going to be a sad day when it the first time you haven’t had you wife with you over sixty two years. My grandpa and acknowledged this and both cried over it. I really do miss my grandma. However I am sure it is more difficult for my grandfather right now.

I still had my summer fun with my grandpa but it was nice to acknowledge the grief that we still have for my grandma. I love you grandma and hope you are watching over us.

Thank you for reading this sad blog. Have a great rest of your Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Well, It’s Monday!!!

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning in my corner of the world. I am not a big fan of Mondays but considering I have to take care of some shit today, I am kind of glad that it is Monday. Actually, I am not at all glad it is Monday but considering I have to do some adulting, I am glad to be able to get some things accomplished that I need to accomplish.

The first thing on my list is to go to the DSHS office as there was some type of error made in how much money I make which led to some of my DSHS benefits being cut off completely and/or reduced. My food stamps are being reduced to barely nothing and what little medical I was getting is being totally cut off which is why I am going to the DSHS office.

After getting home from the DSHS office I plan on calling a couple of hospitals asking why they sent my bills to collections when I was suppose to get charity care. That also means I have to call the ambulance companies as well regarding sending bills collections. This all means I have have to call the collections agencies as well. Not my idea of fun.  I might have to do some of the calling of places tomorrow which I am okay with just as long as I start the calling today.

I didn’t get much sleep last night due to health problems. Health problems that are related to my weird ass mouth infection that is causing me a great deal of pain. Pain tat kept me up a good portion of the night.

I really think that my physical health problems are starting to affect my mental health symptoms as the mental health symptoms are starting to increase. Usually when my physical health is acting up then my mental health can increase just slightly.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a good day. In fact have a good work week if you work. Peace Out, World!!!

Home With Cat

Good Afternoon, World!!! I don’t know if I stated in my last post, I am now home with my cat. In fact my last post was written and posted here at home. It is nice to be home with my cat at my side. Right now she is purring and it is calming me down quite a bit.

Now that I am home, it is my goal to get my depression and anxiety under control. How do I plan on doing this you ask. Great question. I plan on blogging off and on all day today. I also plan on doing chores which is an odd way of helping with depression and anxiety. Of course spending time with my cat is another way that will be helpful for my anxiety and depression.

I also plan on spending it time with some of my neighbors who have become really good friends. In fact we will be having a potluck dinner. More like an early dinner at about four in the afternoon in my corner of the world. That is less than an hour away for me.

I just wish I wasn’t having such high anxiety and increasing depression despite everything I am doing to combat it. Maybe if I blog later on about the dinner I had or whatever the hell is on my mind will help.

I want to thank you for reading my blog no matter how depressing it can be. For me I appreciate you for reading my blog. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Sunday. I hope to blog again later on today to let you know how things have improved. Or I hope improved.  I am very grateful for all of you reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Playing The Waiting Game

Good Morning, again, World!!! I sit here at my laptop in the waiting room of my doctors office. So the waiting game begins. I highly dislike going to the doctors but it is so much better than having to go to the hospital. I really dislike playing the waiting game but that is why I decided to bring my laptop with me so I can keep myself entertained somehow.

As I play the waiting game the theme of money keep coming up due to the advertisements I have on my blog. Every time someone clicks on an ad, I get a few cents. Yes, few cents isn’t all that much but it all adds up.

Another thing, I brought with me today as I play the waiting game is I brought my comic books. Actually, I brought my Wonder Woman comic books as Wonder Woman is my favorite superhero.

I just hope that my doctor gives me stronger antibiotics to help get rid of this weird ass mouth infection that I have. I’m hopeful yet extremely doubtful that I’ll get some stronger pain meds. I’m doubtful due to the fact that I have a family history of drug abuse and I don’t want to get addicted. Plus I don’t need another issue on top of the issues I already have. All I want is for the infection to go away because when it goes away then so does the annoying ass pain. I really dislike waiting with a passion and I hope that my doctor isn’t running late.

I am a big proponent of starting and ending things on time. I say this because people have lives to live. That means in their lives that they have other obligations to attend to. Like for me, I have to rush to go see my therapist.

I should get going as it is almost time for my appointment and want to make sure I am ready when they call out my name. Thank you for reading. You all are awesome. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed Yet Grateful

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning depressed yet grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to be alive as I am realizing that I never would have thought when I was in my late teens and early twenties that I would live to be my current age of 39. I thought way back when that I would have been dead due to suicide.

Despite being depressed and unemployed, I am grateful for my life and the life I have lived thus far. Yes, I have made my fare share of mistake however they have helped shaped who I am today. I have decided to share with you my gratitude list for the day.

  • Life itself
  • My cat, Lil Gertie
  • My family
  • My friends
  • The blogging community
  • The mental health help I am getting
  • My therapist
  • My doctors
  • My apartment
  • My teddy bear
  • Being able to read
  • Music
  • Being able to play the flute and harmonica
  • Summer

That is my gratitude list for today. I hope it helps you find the little things in life to be grateful for. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is extremely appreciated on my end that I have people that read my blog. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!