Intro to Poetry; Day 5; Imperfect

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

The state of American politics is beyond maddening,

It is more saddening,

as the shittyness of all this will put us all in the loony bin.

Or maybe we just need a different way to screen out the rogue politician.

The politician that is driving most of America to the brinks of insanity,

is having us all rethink of ways to build back our community

and in a good way.

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! This week has been quite an emotional week here in America. An emotional week regarding the political environment and tensions are extremely high at the moment. Sadly, supporters of a certain candidate breached the Capital Building for the first time over two hundred years. These people even made their way to the House and Senate Chambers. Many Americans are extremely angered by this including me. It angered me personally because if it was a group of people who are of color, there would have been more of a police presence. The other thing that angers me as well as the President of the United States was the one that egged this group of people on. The events of what happened at the United States Capital was just fucking uncalled for.

The events of what happened politically happened the same day my cat, Billie Dean went to the vet for some dental cared. The good news is that Billie didn’t need his two canine teeth pulled. The worrisome news is that his kidney level numbers are slightly elevated. The vet said that it is nothing to worry about at the moment and that getting another blood test done in about six weeks to see where the levels are at is what is needed. The vet said if the numbers stay the same or get lower then the only thing that is needed is blood work every six months to make sure Billie’s kidney levels are not increasing and this is my hope of what happens. If the next blood test show that Billie’s kidney levels do increase then he will need to be on a special prescription kidney diet. This is why I asked Billie’s vet to do blood work on Billie since he was already getting dental work done so I can see where his baseline is or if something did come like it did then we can get it under control sooner than later. Billie’s vet likes the fact that I am being proactive about his health care especially once Billie is eight years old, he will be getting routine blood work done as he will be considered a senior. On that note Billie isn’t even seven yet. He will be seven in late March. I am happy that I am being proactive in my cat, Billie’s health as he is my baby and I love him so very much.

On top of what went on this week regarding the political unrest and my cat, Billie going to the vet this was my first full forty hour work week at my new employer. It was quite a week at work for many reasons. Yes, it was challenging and it wore me out but I love my new job. I am so happy that I have this job opportunity as I am really enjoying this job.

I also had therapy this week and it went well. My therapist and I discussed the new job, the holidays and a few other things including self care. We discussed self care because he wants to make sure I am doing it so my mental health doesn’t decline. I appreciate this as I also don’t want my mental health to decline. Self care is a major part of staying healthy. I am happy that my therapist and I discussed self care as it helped me focus on what I need to do for self care.

One of the things that came to mind for self care was writing and poetry which led me to starting the WordPress course of Intro to Poetry earlier today. Read and writing poetry is a major form of self care for me so that is why I started this course. It is a ten day course about writing poetry. It helps me be creative. It helps keep my mental health challenges in check which is why it is a form of self care for me.

I don’t have much more to say in this weeks, Weekly Check In. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Yet, Another Post About my Depression

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is two days shy of a month since I last blogged. I do not have an excuse of why I haven’t blogged in nearly a month. Or at least an excuse that I feel okay with because there isn’t an excuse good enough for why I haven’t blogged.

Right now my depression is acting up. I am wondering if the increased depression is due to the time of year or due to Covid-19 or due to the up coming elections here in the United States or all of the above. No matter the reason the why I am dealing with increased depression symptoms at least I am aware of it and that it is currently a mild case for me. I know I shouldn’t be dismissive of my depression symptoms as being “mild,” its just that they could be much, much worse.

As far as trying to make myself feel better, spending time with my cat, Billie Dean is quite helpful. Billie is very much a cuddly cat and loves to spend as much time as he can on my lap. I love Billie so much and am grateful for his unconditional love. The love of an animal is the best feeling in the world.

Another way, I am going to do to help with the depression is to read. I most likely will read the fantasy/science fiction book that I am currently reading. Reading helps me cope with my reality. It helps me forget my reality for an hour or two at time without doing harm to myself.

I do not have much more to say as I want to go read. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciative that you have chosen to read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings at Work

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am at work bored out of my mind. This the time in my work shift where I get bored. There isn’t much to do on an overnight shift for twelve and a half hours or at least at my current job there is much to do. In all honesty, I am not a big fan of working night shifts and am looking for another job that I don’t have to work a night shift. I do enjoy my job for the most part.

By now the world is well aware that Ruth Bader Ginsburg past away on Friday, September 18th due to cancer. She served on the United States Supreme Court which is the highest court in the United States. Justice Ginsburg is an iconic figure in the United States and will forever be missed. Her death comes at a time in the United States when the political divide is at its worst. In my opinion I don’t think the Senate should approve anyone Trump nominates till the new President is sworn in. I know I am not the only one who feel like this but I also know many will disagree with my opinion and that is okay.

On a more positive note and something I never thought would happen is that I am so happy that it is raining here in Seattle. I am so happy that it is raining because the air quality was extremely horrid and it was effecting many people including myself. My asthma acted up on several occasions during the week of hazardous air quality. In fact I think many people are beyond thrilled to see the rain in Seattle. When I say rain, I mean rain and not the Seattle rain people are use to. Seattle rain is just mist or drizzle.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Two Strong Advocates For Mental Health

Good Evening, World!!! I am going to be posting more about the conference I went to earlier this week. I will be mostly talking about the people who are very active in the the recovery movement here in Washington. One of which is a local politician as a state Representative in Lynnwood. (I want to make it clear that when I write about both these individuals especially the politician that I am NOT  in her district nor am I asking you to vote for her. I am just informing you of how awesome of an advocate she and the other person I will be talking about are.)

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Awesome Mental Health Advocates: Heather & Lauren

The picture above are two extremely awesome mental health advocates. Heather is the Director of the King County Collation at Washington Recovery Alliance while Lauren is the Executive Director at Washington Recovery Alliance as well as a state Representative for the 32nd legislative district in the Lynnwood area. Anyway, both Heather and Lauren are awesome advocates and speakers. They with the help of a handful of other people helped create a Recovery Day at a Seattle Mariners game and from my understanding from many people, it turned out to be a HUGE success. Heather and Lauren not only are example of what recovery looks like but help create ways to celebrate recovery like having a recovery day at a baseball game. Not just any baseball game but a Seattle Mariners game.

Seeing both Heather and Lauren at the peer conference earlier in the week was amazing as they are both two of the kindest women, I know and hope that someday I can be just a small portion of the advocates they are. If you ever have the chance to meet Heather and Lauren then you are in the presence of people who can help you advocate for others.  Both are awesome speakers.

I don’t have much more to say except I am thrilled that I was able to see and talk with these two awesome advocates again. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend. For those living in the United States, I hope you have a wonderful three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

I Am a Human NOT a “Monster”

Good Afternoon, World!!! Earlier this week President Trump did a speech in response to multiple mass shooting here in the United States. He specifically mentioned El Paso, Texas and very briefly mentioned Dayton, Ohio. He angered me a great deal with comments he made about those who have mental health challenges. He did surprise the hell out of me when he condemned racism however I find it hypocritical of him doing so as he entices people to be racist as I personally think he is one whether or not people acknowledge or not.

It appears that most if not all mass shootings that happen here in the United States are done by white males who do not have a diagnosed mental health challenge. It also appears from my perspective that no matter who the president is at the time of a mass shooting that if it is done by a white man everyone tends to go to the person being “mentally ill.” Why don’t we call it what it is, hate toward a particular minority group. We all know if a mass shooting done by a person of color or a Muslim the cops would have automatically considered it terrorism and would have been shot dead. Sadly, since it is white males doing the mass shootings they are not shot dead and it is not considered terrorism when I and many others think it is terrorism. I am sick and tired of people think that those who do mass shootings are mentally ill when that is not the fact. Studies show that only two to five percent of the violent crimes done in this country are done by people who are diagnosed with a mental illness and those who are diagnosed with a mental health challenge are more likely to be the victims of a violent crime than the perpetrator of a violent crime.

Now as far as Trump goes I am angered by what he said in his speech earlier this week in response to the mass shootings. He said that mentally ill are “Twisted Monsters” as well as “Mentally Ill Monsters.” I am sorry President Trump but I am NOT a monster, I am a HUMAN. A human that will not be violent toward anyone else but myself. (Don’t worry I am not currently at risk at harming myself.) President Trump comments like yours just adds more stigma and discrimination toward people with mental health challenges. Mental illness is considered a disability and you call folks with a certain disability “monsters” is not cool and hateful. Sadly, you being hateful toward people that are not like you is nothing new and wish you would stop it however you appear to not give a shit. People with mental health challenges are NOT monsters and we are HUMANS so please respect us.

Okay, I have nothing more to say about this topic. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post From a Tired Person

Good Morning, World!!! I have been awake since 3:33 this morning due to a nightmare. A nightmare my cat woke me up from before it could get worse. Somehow my cat is acutely aware of when I am having a nightmare. My cat, Lil Gertie, tend to wake me up from nightmares by either licking one of my big toes or my nose till I fully wake up. When I finally wake up, Lil Gertie is by my side snuggling with me till my anxiety decreases due to PTSD. Having PTSD sucks shit and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

One of the first things I did as I snuggled with Lil Gertie was do a mindfulness and meditation exercise. I did this with the help of an app on my phone called Calm. It was an app that was suggest by a good friend of mine a couple of years ago that I attempt to use quite often. Not as often as I want or should but I am starting to use it on the daily basis as it is quite helpful when I use it everyday.

After doing about twenty minutes of mindfulness and meditation I turned on some music that is focused on meditation to listen to as I pulled out a coloring page to coloring. I didn’t do much but what I did do was somewhat challenging as I was trying to do some shading to make the bridge look a bit more realistic. Sadly, part of it isn’t shaded and hopefully when I am finished with the bridge and the rest of the picture the lack of shading on the part of the bridge that wasn’t shaded won’t be noticeable. The below picture is the coloring page/poster I am doing.

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The coloring page / poster I am coloring at the moment. It is extremely detailed and will take time to finish.

Right now as I am writing this blog post, I have the morning news on. It’s been mostly local news with weather and traffic. Thankfully, no mention of President Trump. I am not a big fan of Trump for many reasons and am grateful when the news doesn’t mention him especially with the hatred he spews.

Since I am on the topic of Trump I didn’t appreciate the fact that earlier this week that he blamed the mass shootings on mental illness when we all know it was done by white racist men who aren’t mentally ill. Racism is not a mental illness and people with mental health challenges are not “Twisted Monsters” or “Mentally Ill Monsters.” It boggles my mind that Trump doesn’t realize that most mass shootings in America are done by white men who are NOT mentally ill. I have more to say about this but will discuss it later as it is now 7:00 in the morning and I want to try to get some sleep after having been woken up at 3:33 in the morning.

As I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 7: Let Social Media Inspire You

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s assignment is to let social media inspire a post. We were given a choice of five tweets from Twitter to write about. Sadly, none of those tweets from Twitter have inspired me to write. So, I thought I would go to my twitter account to see if I could get inspired from any tweets there and again wasn’t inspired. Since I wasn’t inspired by anything on Twitter I decided to go to Facebook.

As far as Facebook I really wasn’t inspired. I wasn’t inspired from Facebook because of the anger and hate from various people especially in Facebook groups. It seems that most of the hate and anger involves politics. People think that they can be cruel when it comes to being on the internet and social media. People wouldn’t say most of the shit face to face to someone as they do on social media. The worst topic that invokes peoples anger and hate is politics. Politics get people heated and when people get heated they tend to not be able to listen to the other persons side. Not being heard can cause even more anger. I just get aggravated when people start attacking each other especially if it is something people wouldn’t say or do face to face.

Well, I guess social media did inspire me to write about something but it is a topic I need to not discuss write now because I am livid about some things I saw on Facebook. I think I am going to end this blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog from the bottom of my heart. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things because if it wasn’t for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog. So, thank you again for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 5: Hook ‘Em With a Quote

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I live through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ -Eleanor Roosevelt-

A couple of days ago my friend and I were discussing our favorite quotes and we started talking about how Eleanor Roosevelt had some pretty awesome quote. I shared with my friend one of my favorite and why and my friend did the same. The above quote happens to my friends favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quote right now as they are just climbing out of some difficult shit. I really like the quote because I can relate to it in many aspects of my life. One of which is due to the trauma I experienced as a child. Another is that as someone who experiences mental health challenges I face many fears people without mental health challenges don’t face and I face them head on. That means for me that this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt is a recovery based quote or at least that is how I see it.

I don’t have much more to say but I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post With Me Rambling

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in the afternoon in my corner of the world and I have been struggling since I woke up at five this morning. I have been struggling with several symptoms of my mental health challenges. I wish I wasn’t struggling with symptoms but sadly I am.

As badly as I am struggling at the moment and against my better judgement, I watched the twelve noon news. I say against my better judgement because there tends to be at least one story that triggers me. In fact there were two stories that triggered me in the noon news and it appears that it is the topic of politics that tends to be triggering for me at the moment. At least I am realizing what is triggering for me.

Lets get on to a different topic other than the news and politics as I am getting triggered even discussing it in this post. Yesterday, I had both therapy and group therapy. Specifically, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). In therapy my therapist and I discussed the DBT skills that I am struggling with doing due to barriers that get in the way. Even though we discussed the DBT skills I struggled with, we mainly talked about the barriers I struggle with. Sadly, some of the barriers are trauma related and we will need to continue to discuss these particular barriers in future sessions. After my session with my therapist I went to group therapy that happened to be DBT group. The topic of DBT group happened to be barriers that get in the way of using skills. When I found out the topic of DBT group I had to chuckle to myself because of what therapist and I discussed in my session with him.

Anyway, back to today and waking up struggling. I was struggling bad enough that the only thing I could do in the moment of waking up was pet my cat. My cat just laid next to me in my chair purring as I petted her. I ended up petting my cat close to a half an hour and during that half an hour petting my cat, I realize what I needed to do and ended up doing the entire morning before turning on the twelve noon news.

The things I ended up doing was art work and listening to a podcast as I did art work. The type of art work I ended up doing was coloring. I am coloring a poster in hopes to give it my therapist. As I colored the poster I listened to a podcast on philosophy. The specific podcast about philosophy I am listening to is called “Philosophize This” and am learning a great deal about philosophy. I highly recommend listening to the podcast “Philosophize This” for several reasons which I will share with you another time.

I say I will share with you another time in why I recommend “Philosophize This” is because I need to end this particular blog post so I can get going and eat something. I realized I haven’t eaten yet today which is not a good thing. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Friday as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!