Frustration With Depression

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am frustrated. I am frustrated with depression symptoms creeping in especially since I have had a relatively okay type of day. I am grateful for the things that I have done today.

The things that have been helping a great deal are my cat, Billie Dean. Billie has been quite “helpful” with helping me color meaning that he happily lays down on the picture I am trying to color. I kind of find it funny that he does this as he is just trying to help me deal with the emotions I am dealing with. I love the fact the Billie is doing what he is suppose to do as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA).

As I colored today, with the help of Billie, I also listened to a podcast about philosophy. The specific philosophy I am listening to is Philosophize This. I really enjoy this podcast and am trying to get to the most recent airing of the podcast but I know it will take me a while to do that but I am okay with that. I love to learn new things and feel like I am learning new things as I listen to Philosophize This. I will encourage anyone to listen to this particular podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great night head of them. I also hope that you have a great night of sleep if you are not working. If you are working I hope you have a great night at work. Peace Out, World!!!

Oh How I Wish Mr. Sandman Would Visit

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment. I do not know why I am unable to sleep but I do have an idea. I suspect the reason why I can not sleep is due to the anxiety I am feeling after the trauma I experienced last week at the hands of a neighbor that lives on my floor. The anxiety is not a fun thing nor is it helpful in helping with sleep. Besides an increase of anxiety, I am also having an increase of PTSD symptoms. PTSD sucks shit.

On a plus note, Billie Dean, my cat is being quite helpful in regards to both the anxiety and PTSD. Having Billie as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful in my recovery. In fact when I had Lil Gertie as a cat before she crossed over the rainbow bridge, I realize how helpful she was as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA). If it wasn’t for the suggestion of my last therapist of getting a cat as an ESA, I wouldn’t have ever gotten Lil Gertie or Billie. After realizing how helpful Lil Gertie was for my recovery, I knew that having another cat as an ESA would be beneficial to me and my mental health recovery. Billie is doing an amazing job as my ESA, just like Lil Gertie did.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end my post. I want to thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

4 Months & 2 Days With This Cutie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been four months and two days since I adopted Billie Dean. I love Billie so much and I know he loves me. Billie is my emotional support animal (ESA) and he does an awesome job at it. He is such a lap cat and cuddle bug. Billie being such a lap cat has helped me a great deal just to sit and breath while being in the present moment. It is like he wants me to enjoy the moment I am in and focus on my breath. Having Billie in my life has helped me a great deal especially in regards to my mental health recovery, just like my previous cat, Lil Gertie, did. As much as I miss Lil Gertie and grateful she was in my life, I am glad Billie came into my life.

Below are some picture of my precious cat, Billie Dean. Billie is an amazing cat. There are captions below the pictures for those who are sight impaired. I hope you enjoy.

Billie laying in the same spot on the back of the chair Lil Gertie would perch herself on.
One of Billie’s favorite spots to chill.
Billie sitting on my bathroom sink by my shower as I attempt to get ready for the day.
Billie sitting on tippy top of his cat tree.

Billie chilling in a little cubby on his cat tree.
Billie looking over the arm of the chair to see what I am doing. He does this quite offten.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I just wanted to share pictures of my beloved cat, Billie. I hope you have enjoyed the pictures of my cat. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. I also hope everyone has a good evening ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Meet Billie Dean

Good Evening, World!!! I wanted to let you know that I adopted a new kitty this past Thursday (February, 6th). His name is Billie Dean. He is five years old and will be six years old at the end of March. His age is just a guesstimate and the vet has agree with what the animal shelter said in regards to his age. Billie Dean is a whopping 14 pounds. He is a big boy. I am going to include pictures and add caption’s to it. I hope for those sight impaired that WordPress allows the your software to read the captions.

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Billie Dean laying on my dirty floor chilling and adjusting to his new home.

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Billie Dean on his first night. He is on my chest sleeping. It looks like he is giving me a hug.

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Billie Dean waiting patiently on the examination table for the vet to check him out for a post adoption check up.

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Billie Dean still chilling on the exam table at the vet’s office for post adoption check up. He turn his head and is looking toward Dr. B the vet as she was coming in.

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Billie Dean on my chest facing me. He is giving me the stare down wondering why I stopped petting him.

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Billie Dean on my bed wanting his belly rubbed. He is the only cat I know that loves his belly rubbed and for a good 20 plus minutes.

I love my new kitty and hope you have enjoyed meeting him. I hope to share more pictures in future post. Billie Dean also is a very talkative cat who loves to lay in your lap. Yes, I greatly miss my last cat, Lil Gertie but I am sure she was of help with adopting Billie Dean.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Sad & Trying to Not Overreact or Be a Drama Queen

Good Evening, World!!! I am having very uncomfortable emotions right now in regards to my cat. I am fearful, sad and pretty high anxiety right now. She is not acting like her usual self and not really eating her wet food but at least she is drinking water and nibbling at her dry food. She is also using the litter box. She is a little more lethargic the last two days and it starting to scare me because of lump that is cancerous. Plan is to watch her the next few days and take her to the vet on Tuesday even if she starts getting better because I just want to make sure everything is as okay as it can be health wise with a cancerous lump. I just don’t want put her down but I don’t want her to suffer either. I just love her so much. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Lil Gertie is a special cat for me. She is my emotional support animal (ESA). I thought I would be rescuing her but she did the rescuing of me. I love her so much and hope that she knows that. Lil Gertie was meant for me and I don’t want to loose her too soon but I don’t want her suffer

Like I told you I plan on taking her to my regular vet on Tuesday and get her opinion. Dr. B, the vet Lil Gertie goes to. Dr. B is an amazing vet and tells you like it is in an empathetic and compassionate way. Dr. B really care for the animals she treats as well as the humans. Dr. B is amazing.

I don’t know what else to write due to not wanting to crying. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Two O’clock in the Morning Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I am not able to sleep at the moment. I am unsure why I am unable to sleep however I personally think it is part to insomnia as well PTSD symptoms. Having little to no sleep also does not help with my depression symptoms. All I know is I would like to get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket.

I might as well as remind you my reader of why there are advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. However I don’t earn the extra money unless you click on to the ad and let it load. So with each little click to the advertisements on my blog earns me a few cents. I know it is not much money but it something. So, I don’t think I will discuss that advertisement thing again for another few weeks as I am sure you don’t want to keep reading about it as I am sure you are not big fans of the advertisements but they do earn me a few extra cents with each click.

Anyways it sounds like the wind is blowing hard and the rain is pounding against my bedroom window. It sounds like there is some nasty weather outside at the moment and it most definitely not the typical Seattle weather for this time of year although it is not unusual for there to be some wind from time to time.  I just hope this nasty goes away by the time the sun rises but I am not holding out hope for it the nastiness to stop.

Enough about the weather here in Seattle lets talk about it being two in the morning in my corner of the world and how Lil Gertie is happy that I am awake. She is happy I am awake because I have been playing with her to help me through the difficult moments I have been have due to not being able to sleep. This is the time of day she is most playful and usually doesn’t expect to play with me as I am in bed but I think she is happy she is able to play since I am up. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. It is hard to believe that in three days from now it will be seven months since I adopted Lil Gertie. I love her so much and can’t imagine life without her right now. Oh yeah before I forget, I order Lil Gertie a new cat carrier as I have been using the box cat carrier I got when I adopted her. I bought it from Amazon last Wednesday and finally it was delivered last Friday. She still doesn’t like being in the carrier but she hasn’t fought going into it when I have but her in it and she has meowed when she has been in it. I have been putting Lil Gertie into the new carrier so she can get use to it and not so afraid of it. I keep her in it for no more than ten minutes to see how she reacts and no I don’t keep her in the carrier when I am not home. I keep the side entrance of the carrier open and down so she could go in and out of it if she wants. She has gone in it to sniff and quickly came out but hopefully she will know it is a safe place for her so when I do have to take her somewhere, it won’t put her in more stress. The last thing I want is to put Lil Gertie in stress out mode.

I think I am going to get going as I am wanting to attempt to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully insomnia gives me a break and that my anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms continue to lessen so I can get some sleep. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You guys are all awesome!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Moodiness

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am realizing that I have been moody most of the day. I have been moody for many reasons. My depression is acting up. My grief dealing with my grandma hit me like a tsunami today. Oh yeah and that weather sucks shit.

It doesn’t help things that I have been isolating myself today. Not sure why I am isolating today but I have. I did email my therapist and primary care doctor about the depression, grief and isolation. Both my doctor and therapist reminded me of my appointments with them tomorrow which I know will be quite helpful for me. My therapist also informed that I do have refills for my psych meds as he talked with the “shrink on duty.” So, at least I know I have meds for the next two weeks.

My cat, Lil Gertie, has been of great help to me today. She has been laying by my side on my share or laying on my lap. She even let me hold her for about ten minutes as I paced around my apartment. She usually only lets me hold her for about two to three minutes max. She is an awesome emotional support animal. Right now she is taking some “me time” by sleeping on my bed. Everyone needs some space at times and she has done a very good job with supporting me today so she deserves the “me time.”

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Knowing that I have perfect strangers that care about me and that I am able to help by sharing my story helps me get through tough days like today. I hope everyone has a good rest of your Monday. Enjoy your week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Lazy A$$ Day

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been another lazy ass day for me. I didn’t go to my volunteer job today.  I took today off from my volunteer job as I needed to take time to myself.

Today marks five months since I got my cat, Lil Gertie. She has been a blessing in my life and has helped me a great deal emotionally. Having Lil Gertie, is helping me keep my apartment cleaner than it was before I got adopted her. So, Lil Gertie, has been helping me in more ways than I expected.

I spent most of the day binge watching television and movies. While binge watching television and movies, Lil Gertie spent it by my sided in my chair between me and the arm rest. I think I will continue to binge watch television and movies till I got to bed.

Thank you for reading my blog it is greatly appreciated. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. Again, thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

It Has Been Five Months

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night which is quite annoying. As annoying as it is to be sleepless in Seattle, today is good and happy day. It is good and happy day because today marks the five month anniversary of me adopting my cat, Lil Gertie. She is an emotional support animal and is extremely intuitive to my emotional needs.

It has been a blessing to have Lil Gertie in my life and am more than pleased that i was able to give Lil Gertie a forever home. Lil Gertie has been in-tuned with my emotional needs since day one but as time goes on, she is becoming more intuitive to my needs especially when it comes to my Anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

Lil Gertie sure loves her wet food. She always begs for it at the same time everyday even though she has dry food available to her 24 hours day. She is not afraid to wake me up when she thinks it is time to be fed her wet cat food. She is one spoiled little cat. Lil Gertie, knows she is queen bee of the house hold. I am really happy that I was able to give Lil Gertie a forever home. She is an amazing little cat and very calm except for when it comes to fireworks and the fire alarm.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things for you reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. Peace Out World!!!

Worries of the Night

Hello, World!!! It is now twelve thirty in the morning in my corner of the world. I am still up due to watching late night television. Late night television helps me deal with life in general especially today. I say this because Lil Gertie has given me a couple of days due some coughing episodes and today’s coughing episodes were scary and worrisome. So, I took her to the vet. The vet diagnosed her with allergies and mild asthma even though the vet didn’t hear wheezing. She determined the mild asthma diagnosis by watching the two videos I took of Lil Gertie’s coughing attacks. The vet, Dr. B, said I did the right thing with the videos.

Another thing that I am worried about is the sleeping meds and my health insurance being slow to approve the pre-authorization for it. It is tough to be dealing with lack of sleep but am grateful for what little sleep I do get especially when I don’t have anything to help with it.

I do not have much more to say. I think I am going try to get some shut eye. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!