The Wave of Grief Strikes Again

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here at my laptop, I have tears rolling down my face. Tears rolling down my face because I really miss my grandma and wish she was still here on Earth. I know it has only been six and a half since she died but I wish the pain wasn’t so difficult to deal with.

As difficult as it is for me to deal with my grandma’s death six and a half months ago, I am sure it is that much more difficult for my grandpa. My grandparents knew each other for over seventy years and married for sixty two and a half years. As hard as my pain is with missing my grandma, I am sure it is that much more difficult for my grandpa. It is hard to see him break down when he cries about my grandma. Now that is difficult to see when an eighty eight year old Navy man cry over the loss of their spouse.

As much as I miss my grandma, I am happy that I have my cat, Lil Gertie, to help me through moments of grief. Another thing that I have found helpful with dealing with my grief is journaling. My cat and journaling have been life savers the last week or two in regards to dealing with grief.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I do apologize that it is a depressing to read a post about grief first thing in the morning. Again thank you for reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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Just a Bunch of Randomness

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me.  As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.

On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.

Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.

On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

I Haven’t Been Back To Sleep & Feeling Like Shit

Good Morning, World!!! It is three thirty in the morning and still haven’t been back to sleep since my five hour nap. Not having enough sleep affects my mental health. When my mental health is affected, shit can hit the fan quite quickly. It is not my mental health that I am worried about right now. It is my physical health that is worrying me. I have a major migraine that won’t go away plus my asthma is acting up.

Due to lack of sleep and multiple health conditions acting up, I am thinking I might have a friend or family member take me to the hospital to get checked out. Or maybe I should wait and call my doctors office later in the morning to see if I can see her sooner than next Thursday (August 30th).  I’ve also been vomiting like it it going out of style. I am taking Pepto Bismal for the nausea but it is not working for the stupid vomiting.

At least my cat is by my side. Lil Gertie is trying her best to keep me calm. In fact she is doing a good job at it. I should get going an cuddle more with my cat and see if someone can take me to the hospital. If nobody can take me to the hospital then I will have to wait to my doctor’s office opens later in the morning.  Now it’s time to cuddle with my cat, Lil Gertie. Peace Out, World!!!

Can’t Fall Back To Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! I can not seem to go back to sleep after being woken up by my cat, Lil Gertie, after a five hour nap. Of course when I attempted to go to sleep Lil Gertie wanted to play so I decided that I would play with her. Lil Gertie is one spoiled lil kitty. I love her so much.

To make my sleep issues even worse is that I have a migraine. Migraines are extremely painful. I am not sure what set off this migraine but my migraine medication ain’t working shit. I just hope the pain subsides so I don’t have to the stupid hospital again.

I’m wondering if my worries over not getting an email about a peer position interview I have on August 31st is what is causing part of my migraine. The lady who called me about it only mentioned her name once and I forgot to get her name again. I am hoping she emails me more of the details about the job interview so my worries and anxiety can subside. At least I will be working either a sixteen hours a week or thirty hours a week. I just hope she emails me sometime later today with more of the details and so I can ask more questions of her.

On a plus note the lady who wants to interview me for the shelter counselor position finally emailed me back explaining why she hadn’t set up an interview yet. It’s because others have been on vacation or out sick. She should be getting back to me by the end of the week via email. Lets hope I get emails from the individuals for both positions by the end of the week.

At least I know I have a least one job interview, I just wish remembered the ladies name. I can’t remember the name for the life of me which is why I am hoping for an email. Please send out positive vibes, energies, prayers or whatever that works for you that this woman emails me back or at least calls me back because I tried calling the number back it said it wasn’t taking any calls at this time. It didn’t even have a voicemail I could leave.  I know things will work out in the long run but I still have my worries.

Well, it appears like Lil Gertie, my cat is wanting my attention again so I better give it to her. If I give it to her now, she won’t wake me up at four o’clock in the morning wanting scratch on the head or to play. She sure helps me a lot.

I hope my migraine goes away as I call it a night. I’ll play with Lil Gertie first and then attempt to fall back to sleep. Thank you for reading my boring ass blog. Especially since my post appear to be repetitive as of lately. I am grateful for your readership and Peace Out, World!!!

Well, It’s Monday!!!

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning in my corner of the world. I am not a big fan of Mondays but considering I have to take care of some shit today, I am kind of glad that it is Monday. Actually, I am not at all glad it is Monday but considering I have to do some adulting, I am glad to be able to get some things accomplished that I need to accomplish.

The first thing on my list is to go to the DSHS office as there was some type of error made in how much money I make which led to some of my DSHS benefits being cut off completely and/or reduced. My food stamps are being reduced to barely nothing and what little medical I was getting is being totally cut off which is why I am going to the DSHS office.

After getting home from the DSHS office I plan on calling a couple of hospitals asking why they sent my bills to collections when I was suppose to get charity care. That also means I have to call the ambulance companies as well regarding sending bills collections. This all means I have have to call the collections agencies as well. Not my idea of fun.  I might have to do some of the calling of places tomorrow which I am okay with just as long as I start the calling today.

I didn’t get much sleep last night due to health problems. Health problems that are related to my weird ass mouth infection that is causing me a great deal of pain. Pain tat kept me up a good portion of the night.

I really think that my physical health problems are starting to affect my mental health symptoms as the mental health symptoms are starting to increase. Usually when my physical health is acting up then my mental health can increase just slightly.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a good day. In fact have a good work week if you work. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Me Bitching About Shit

Good Evening, World!!!  I am struggling at the moment and not sure why. I have an inkling why but it’s just the same bullshit I have been discussing about in most of my post as of lately.

I am getting highly annoyed with this weird ass mouth infection that appears that won’t fucking go away. Normally if I was in this much pain, I would go to the hospital however I already know that all the doctors and nurses would say is to take ibuprofen which doesn’t really do shit but I understand why they don’t want to give me something stronger. Doctors are fearful of getting someone addicted to narcotic pain relievers and I don’t blame them. I just want the pain to go away. Actually, I want the infection to be gone so the pain can be gone.

I was suppose to hear back by the end of last week to get an interview at a potential employer sometime this week. That hasn’t happened yet. I wish people would keep their word and yes I know people get busy. I just want to get back to work.

Right now all I can do is to distract myself. I have been playing with my cat which has be quite helpful. Having a cat around sure is quite helpful. I have also been doing some art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring gives me a sense of peace and that is quite helpful.

Thank you for reading my blog again. I plan on posting again tomorrow. I hope you have a great rest of your Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Playing The Waiting Game

Good Morning, again, World!!! I sit here at my laptop in the waiting room of my doctors office. So the waiting game begins. I highly dislike going to the doctors but it is so much better than having to go to the hospital. I really dislike playing the waiting game but that is why I decided to bring my laptop with me so I can keep myself entertained somehow.

As I play the waiting game the theme of money keep coming up due to the advertisements I have on my blog. Every time someone clicks on an ad, I get a few cents. Yes, few cents isn’t all that much but it all adds up.

Another thing, I brought with me today as I play the waiting game is I brought my comic books. Actually, I brought my Wonder Woman comic books as Wonder Woman is my favorite superhero.

I just hope that my doctor gives me stronger antibiotics to help get rid of this weird ass mouth infection that I have. I’m hopeful yet extremely doubtful that I’ll get some stronger pain meds. I’m doubtful due to the fact that I have a family history of drug abuse and I don’t want to get addicted. Plus I don’t need another issue on top of the issues I already have. All I want is for the infection to go away because when it goes away then so does the annoying ass pain. I really dislike waiting with a passion and I hope that my doctor isn’t running late.

I am a big proponent of starting and ending things on time. I say this because people have lives to live. That means in their lives that they have other obligations to attend to. Like for me, I have to rush to go see my therapist.

I should get going as it is almost time for my appointment and want to make sure I am ready when they call out my name. Thank you for reading. You all are awesome. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!