Missing My Grandma

Hello, World!!! This will be a very short post. My grandma passed away four years ago on Valentines Day which was yesterday. I miss here a great deal and I know she is my guardian angel still looking out for me. I love and miss my grandma so much. She helped raise me and I am grateful for that. Again, I don’t have much more to say in this blog post. Peace Out, World!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

My list for today, day two will be regarding the grief of my grandma who passed a four years ago today which is Valentines Day.

Things I Wish

before my grandma passed away.

  • I wish I had one last hug.
  • I wish I could tell her how I much love her one last time
  • I wish I could hear her tell me she loved me.
  • I wish she knew how grateful I was and am that she helped raise me with my grandpa and dad.

A Sad Three Day Weekend for Me

Good Evening, World!!! It’s Friday and I am surprised that I feel at peace right now. I wish I was happy but I am good with being at peace for the moment. Normally, this weekend would not be a three day weekend for me but it is. It is because Monday, February 14th, 2022 marks the four year anniversary of the death of my grandma. February 14th also is Valentines day which makes it that much more challenging for me that it has been in the past before my grandma died.

I never needed a special day for someone to tell me that they loved me. My grandma made everyday Valentines Day for me especially since I wasn’t exactly the popular kid or most liked kid in school. I think that is why this Monday will be heard for me. It will be hard for my grandpa as well.

I decided to take Monday, February 14th off because of the anniversary of my grandma’s death. On a plus note, I will be taking my grandpa out on a date on Valentines Day in hopes to make better memories. I’m sure this brunch date with be bittersweet but at least we will be together making good memories.

Thank you for listening (or should I say reading) this sad post. I am grateful that you read it. You the reader, reading my blog means a great deal to me. So, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Lonely & Depressed

Good Evening, World!!! Valentines Day is a week and a half a way. I have never been a give fan of Valentines Day for various reasons in my life. One reason is why do we need a special day to tell people that we love them when can do that every day.

To make Valentines Day worse for me is that my grandma past away on Valentines day of 2018. This year will mark four years since she passed a way and I miss her greatly. She was the one I went to when I was lonely and depressed. I miss her so very much.

I am needing to end this particular blog post as it is making me sad and missing my grandma greatly. I love her so much and which I could give her one last hug. Peace Out, World!!

Three and a Half Years and I Still Miss My Grandma

Good Morning, World!!! Today marks exactly three and a half years since the death of my grandma. I miss my grandma a great deal. She along side my grandpa helped my dad raise me since my dad was a single father. My grandma was the motherly figure in my life. I miss being able to talk with her just to tell her about how my day went.

As much as I miss my grandma, I am glad she is no longer suffering as she had Parkinson’s Disease. I just wish she was alive to meet my last cat, Lil Gertie as well as my current cat Billie Dean. She would have loved both cats and would have spoiled them.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite A Good Day, I’m Still A Lil Sad

Good Evening, again, World!!! I realize that I just posted about an hour ago about being an adult and doing adulting type of stuff then allowing myself to turn into a child. I’ve realized I needed that childhood part of today because I am really missing my grandma right now. She passed away a Valentines Day of this year (2018). My grandpa turns eighty eight on Thursday and my grandma died exactly one month after she turned eighty eight. I think he might not make it more than month past his 88th birthday.

His birthday is this Thursday and I plan on celebrating it with him because its going to be a sad day when it the first time you haven’t had you wife with you over sixty two years. My grandpa and acknowledged this and both cried over it. I really do miss my grandma. However I am sure it is more difficult for my grandfather right now.

I still had my summer fun with my grandpa but it was nice to acknowledge the grief that we still have for my grandma. I love you grandma and hope you are watching over us.

Thank you for reading this sad blog. Have a great rest of your Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Random Thoughts At Midnight

Hello, World!!! It is now midnight in my corner of the world!!! I made it through Mother’s Day without any major problems. It appears that I handled the grief of my grandma better than I thought I would.

It was a beautiful day in Seattle so I decided to go to the Ballard Locks. I did this to enjoy the eighty three degree (Fahrenheit) weather as I love the fact it is finally getting warm outside. While at the Ballard Locks I also read quite a bit. I read a book called Why Buddhism Is True. I am reading this book as I am wanting to figure out if Buddhism is the faith I want to follow.

Spirituality or faith including atheism is key to one being in recovery. Right now I am looking into Buddhism as it appears it might be the best faith for me and my personal goals with my recovery. As many of you know my faith in anything has been one of the the things lacking in my recovery and for me my recovery means the world to me.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a great night of sleep and Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Night Random Thoughts

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop on what I am going to be posting about. Usually, I have some idea but not so much at the moment. I just hope I don’t offend anyone with whatever come out of my head through my hands onto the post. It is my hope that I don’t say anything offensive.

As many of you know today was the first Mother’s Day without my grandma being around. I painted a picture of what is suppose to look like a yellow rose. My grandma’s favorite flower was the yellow rose. My painting didn’t come out as desired but hey it’s that healing part of creating that was helpful to me.

I also read a book called Why Buddhism is True. I am looking into Buddhism to see if it is the right faith for me especially in regards to my recovery. One of the key principles to recovery is faith even if you consider yourself an atheist it counts. I also read some Buddhist Scriptures as well which gave me some peace.

Thank you for reading. You all are quite awesome or reading my blog. Have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!

Pushing Through the Grief

Hello, World!!! I am doing slightly better than I was in my last post. I went for a walk which helped a great deal. I also read the news paper and had tea. I did this to honor my grandma and have been doing this since before she passed away but today was to honor her.

I also did some painting. I am painting a yellow rose to honor my grandma. My Grandma’s favorite flower was the yellow rose. Painting the yellow rose helps me heal and is a way to honor my grandma.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Painful Mother’s Day

Good Morning, World!!! As American’s celebrate Mother’s Day, I sit here dealing with grief and loss. The grief and loss of my grandma and being the first Mother’s Day with out her. Also dealing with the loss of two sets of twins. Not everyone has a good or happy Mother’s Day due to the painful experiences of loosing a child or children in my case as well as grandma.

For me Mother’s Day is also painful for me because my mom was not always there for me. She kept deciding throughout my childhood she couldn’t “handle” me for a multitude of reasons. One reason is because of her addiction to Heroin.

I want to discuss with you more about how things are going for me today but even writing this is have tears roll down my face. I am going to get going and do some mindfulness. Have a great day. Peace out, world!!!