Despite A Good Day, I’m Still A Lil Sad

Good Evening, again, World!!! I realize that I just posted about an hour ago about being an adult and doing adulting type of stuff then allowing myself to turn into a child. I’ve realized I needed that childhood part of today because I am really missing my grandma right now. She passed away a Valentines Day of this year (2018). My grandpa turns eighty eight on Thursday and my grandma died exactly one month after she turned eighty eight. I think he might not make it more than month past his 88th birthday.

His birthday is this Thursday and I plan on celebrating it with him because its going to be a sad day when it the first time you haven’t had you wife with you over sixty two years. My grandpa and acknowledged this and both cried over it. I really do miss my grandma. However I am sure it is more difficult for my grandfather right now.

I still had my summer fun with my grandpa but it was nice to acknowledge the grief that we still have for my grandma. I love you grandma and hope you are watching over us.

Thank you for reading this sad blog. Have a great rest of your Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

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Random Thoughts At Midnight

Hello, World!!! It is now midnight in my corner of the world!!! I made it through Mother’s Day without any major problems. It appears that I handled the grief of my grandma better than I thought I would.

It was a beautiful day in Seattle so I decided to go to the Ballard Locks. I did this to enjoy the eighty three degree (Fahrenheit) weather as I love the fact it is finally getting warm outside. While at the Ballard Locks I also read quite a bit. I read a book called Why Buddhism Is True. I am reading this book as I am wanting to figure out if Buddhism is the faith I want to follow.

Spirituality or faith including atheism is key to one being in recovery. Right now I am looking into Buddhism as it appears it might be the best faith for me and my personal goals with my recovery. As many of you know my faith in anything has been one of the the things lacking in my recovery and for me my recovery means the world to me.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a great night of sleep and Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Night Random Thoughts

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop on what I am going to be posting about. Usually, I have some idea but not so much at the moment. I just hope I don’t offend anyone with whatever come out of my head through my hands onto the post. It is my hope that I don’t say anything offensive.

As many of you know today was the first Mother’s Day without my grandma being around. I painted a picture of what is suppose to look like a yellow rose. My grandma’s favorite flower was the yellow rose. My painting didn’t come out as desired but hey it’s that healing part of creating that was helpful to me.

I also read a book called Why Buddhism is True. I am looking into Buddhism to see if it is the right faith for me especially in regards to my recovery. One of the key principles to recovery is faith even if you consider yourself an atheist it counts. I also read some Buddhist Scriptures as well which gave me some peace.

Thank you for reading. You all are quite awesome or reading my blog. Have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!

Pushing Through the Grief

Hello, World!!! I am doing slightly better than I was in my last post. I went for a walk which helped a great deal. I also read the news paper and had tea. I did this to honor my grandma and have been doing this since before she passed away but today was to honor her.

I also did some painting. I am painting a yellow rose to honor my grandma. My Grandma’s favorite flower was the yellow rose. Painting the yellow rose helps me heal and is a way to honor my grandma.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Painful Mother’s Day

Good Morning, World!!! As American’s celebrate Mother’s Day, I sit here dealing with grief and loss. The grief and loss of my grandma and being the first Mother’s Day with out her. Also dealing with the loss of two sets of twins. Not everyone has a good or happy Mother’s Day due to the painful experiences of loosing a child or children in my case as well as grandma.

For me Mother’s Day is also painful for me because my mom was not always there for me. She kept deciding throughout my childhood she couldn’t “handle” me for a multitude of reasons. One reason is because of her addiction to Heroin.

I want to discuss with you more about how things are going for me today but even writing this is have tears roll down my face. I am going to get going and do some mindfulness. Have a great day. Peace out, world!!!

Weekly Check-In

Hello, World!!! As many of you know my family celebrated Mother’s Day today to honor my grandma. It was difficult for all of us as this is the first Mother’s Day without my grandma since she passed away.

As I told you earlier this week, I went to the Social Security office to discuss why I wasn’t getting any money. To find out I was suppose to be getting some money but they “forgot” to give it to me. Thankfully, my provisional checks were reinstated as I wait for Social Security  to make a decision.

I also made the decision to officially look into Buddhism. I have found that folks who consider themselves Buddhist to be at peace with themselves. Plus, I feel like it can help me with my recovery.

Thanks for reading. Have a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

My Day So Far

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am back from spending a few hours with my family to honor my grandma. We had my grandma’s favorite meal of ham, mashed potato’s and peas. My grandpa said a prayer and started to cry which got me to cry. A cry that I needed. I am having a difficult time with dealing with grief of any kind especially over the death of my grandma.

I am now listening to NPR podcast on about Ted Radio Hour which is based on TedTalks. The topic of the podcast is collaboration. I am liking the talk of collaboration because it can mean different things to different people.

After the podcast is over I plan on reading a book on Buddhism called Why Buddhism Is True. I am wanting to learn about Buddhism. I also got a book called Buddhist Scriptures. I am wanting to better myself and hope that Buddhism helps me on my recovery journey.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful weekend and Peace Out, World!!!