Tag Archives: Death

Sleepless in Seattle Once Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a challenging time being able to sleep and it sucks shit. My grandma did five years ago and Valentines Day. Even though I never liked Valentines Day before my grandma passing away, her death just made me hate it even more. I just want one more hug from my grandpa however my cat Billie Dean gives me great hugs.

On to the hugs from my cat, Billie, he is helping with some art work. He is choosing what coloring book to color from and then the picture. So, I am hoping the picture I color that Billie chose comes out well.

On to a similar topic I ordered some crafty stuff. I ordered latch hook and cross stitching stuff to help ease my mind and do something with my hands. I figured I can learn new things like latch hook and cross stitching.

Something else I am learning is tarot cards. I am reading two books about tarot cards as well as the little bookletts in tarot boxes. I know I must sound nuts about learning tarot but if it can help with my recovery then I am all for it.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post. I greatly appreciated it. I hope every has better sleep than I did. Peace Out, World!!!

Advertisement

Five Long Years Without My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Valentines Day and I have never been a fan of this holiday. The reason being is why do we need a special day to let those we love to say, I love you. I never quite comprehended why it is such a big deal.

Despite never liking Valentines Day, it is now especially more challenging for me. It is challenging for me because five years ago today my grandma passed away due to complications of Parkinson’s. She was like a mother to me as she and my grandpa helped my dad raise me. I miss her very much. I just want to call her up and tell her I love her.

On the plus side, my cat Billie Dean has been by my side since I came home from work. I love my cat, Billie to the moon and back. I know that he will give me the love I so desire as he is good at that.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you, the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Grandma on Her Birthday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today is a sad day for me and my family. Today, would have been my grandma’s 93rd birthday. In fact, when I got up this morning, I tried calling her on her cellphone. It breaks my heart when I do this and wish it wasn’t so hard especially since it has been almost five years since she passed away. Sadly, my grandma passed away from complications due to Parkinson’s Disease.

I am honoring my grandma today by spending it with my grandpa and dad as well as my uncles. Another way I am honoring her on her birthday is going through pictures of her. I also bought some cupcakes and I will light a birthday candle on a cupcake to sing happy birthday after dinner tonight. I’m sure she would be appreciative of it.

I do not have much more to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Reinvent the Letter Format

Posted on by Gertie

In all honesty this is going to be a short and brief post because if feels like it is having me reinvent the letter or write a letter to someone who I don’t want to write one to or worse write one to someone who passed away. I don’t feel like rewriting a letter to someone who is dead or so to someone who might not give a fucking shit. That’s all I have to say about that.

Sleepless in Seattle with Reminders of Childhood

Posted on by Gertie

First and fore most I would like to wish my friend Jodi a happy birthday. If she were still alive she would be 40 years old today. I think that is why I am listening to my childhood playlist on Spotify. To remember all the good things we had growing up.

I wish I could sleep but sadly I can’t. I think it is because I have so much on my mind which is why I am listening to childhood music and reading comic books. Of course Billie Dean my cat wants to help me blog.

Reading comic books and listening to childhood music help me grieve the death of my friend. She was a great friend, I should get going and try to sleep. I do have to work. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time in the evening where I do my weekly check-in. It has been an up and down week for me. Sunday I volunteered a Paws Cat City and had a great time volunteering like I always do.

Monday, I took off because it was Valentines Day which is really difficult for me because my grandma died four years ago and Valentines Day. I didn’t know if I was going to be a hot mess or not so I took the day off from work. Valentines Day landed on a day I work from twelve noon to eight o’clock in the evening. I did pretty good till about six o’clock when the grief hit me like Tsunami. Besides being hit my a Tsunami of grief at six o’clock in the evening, I had a pretty good day. I went on brunch “date” with my grandpa at IHOP. We had an awesome time eating great food and remembering the good times with my grandma before she passed away four years ago.

Despite spending some good times with my grandpa as we remembered my grandma, I had a of friend call me to check in on me. I really think the support my grandpa and I gave each other as well as the support my friends gave me really helped with the grief. Of course my cat Billie Dean helped a great deal with help with the grief of my grandma especially when I became a hot mess with tears rolling done my face for about an hour.

As for work goes it went well. I really love my job. My colleagues are beyond awesome. All three of peers support specialist including myself got some add work to do which I think is awesome as it will ultimately help the clients we serve. I really love my job and the freedom they give use peers and how the supervisors don’t micromanage us peers.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank your for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! This will be a very short post. My grandma passed away four years ago on Valentines Day which was yesterday. I miss here a great deal and I know she is my guardian angel still looking out for me. I love and miss my grandma so much. She helped raise me and I am grateful for that. Again, I don’t have much more to say in this blog post. Peace Out, World!!

Up Date about Valentines Day Grief a Day Late

Posted on by Gertie

Good very early morning, world!!! I am unable to sleep due to insomnia and decided how my Valentines Day went. Over all in all was relatively good day considering the four year anniversary of my grandma’s death. It still hurts a great deal.

I started of my day with a “date” with my grandpa. Treated him to IHOP and shared memories of my grandma. Tears were of course present but I am grateful to share the positive time remembering my grandma with my grandpa. It was cool that I paid for both of our meals at IHOP

On that note, my grandpa and I went shopping for some much need jeans for me. My grandpa wanted to pay for the jeans and he surprisingly too no for answer as he the one that put up the fit with him paying for thing for me. I am grateful that he allowed me to pay for my own jeans and kitty litter.’

Yes, I did get some my cat Billie Dean some litter for him. He also go some catnip. He had a lot of snuggle time with me in my lap. Cat therapy is the best

I sadly had to call in and cancel my appointment with my new therapist for later today due to the not being able to sleep apart. Good thing I know she will understand. I just need to get few hours of sleep and hoe I feel beater to work from home. I hope the extra sleeping will help.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, reader read my blog. If it wer not for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing it. So, thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Good night and Peace Out, World

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

My list for today, day two will be regarding the grief of my grandma who passed a four years ago today which is Valentines Day.

Things I Wish

before my grandma passed away.

  • I wish I had one last hug.
  • I wish I could tell her how I much love her one last time
  • I wish I could hear her tell me she loved me.
  • I wish she knew how grateful I was and am that she helped raise me with my grandpa and dad.