A Valentines Day of Grief

Happy Valentines Day, World!!! I have never been a big fan of Valentines Day because, why do you need a selected day to say “I love you.” Plus it adds added pressure to relationships to make sure the day is special which isn’t the best thing for relationships.

Despite the usual reason, I am not a big fan of Valentines Day is that my grandma died on Valentines Day of 2018. So, today marks the two year anniversary of my grandma’s death. She died due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease. My grandma fought hard for her life as well for those she loved especially her family. I miss my grandma so much but I know she is looking down on me as my guardian angel.

Billie Dean my new cat is helping me through today by just being himself. He is being the lovable, cuddly, talkative and playful self he is to be. I am so grateful that he chose me when he did. I love my Billie Dean.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday and Valentines Day. Peace Out, World!!!

A Complicated Valentines Day & Snow Finally Melting Away

Good Evening, World!!! The last week has been quite a week. In fact it was snowing here in the Seattle area for a good ten or so days and finally stopped yesterday. Granted it didn’t snow yesterday (Wednesday) but it was still at freezing if not below freezing outside so the snow stayed around. Now it is warm enough to melt the snow. It is currently raining in the city of Seattle. Sadly snow is could be in the forecast again this weekend which is something nobody really wants at the moment.

As many of you know, today is Valentines Day. A holiday I never liked even when I had a significant other as why do we need a special day to say “I love you.” This year is a complicated Valentines Day. Not as complicated as last year but still complicated. Today makes the one year anniversary of my grandma passing away. Today has been a difficult day for me and the rest of my family.

Sadly, I was not able to see my therapist this past Tuesday due to the agency I am a client at was closed due to the snow and was hoping to see him before today so we could come up with a plan to handle the grief I am dealing with today. He did call me yesterday and we discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma today. We even made another appointment for me to see him tomorrow (Friday) so, I can check in with him to see how things went today. In fact he did call me today as well to check in on me as he wanted to make sure I was still doing okay. I am still doing okay but I really miss my grandma. I am grateful for my therapist checking up on me and rescheduling our appointment.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I hope to be posting more but right now I am fighting off isolation and grief. I hope to post sometime this weekend. I want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Valentines Day

Today, has not been the easiest of days for me to say the least. My grandma passed away earlier today. As many of you know she has been in home hospice care for a week and as of today she is no longer suffering.

I had posted on social media about my grandma’s death and well I ended up getting bullied. Bullied because I didn’t acknowledge the shooting that happened in Florida today. I was completely unaware of it as I was at Social Security most of the morning and then my therapist office the rest of the day till I got the news about my grandma.

Thankfully, I have some good friends who stuck up for me and support me when the bullying was happening. Some of these friends live near me and came over with some food to check up on me. They brought me my favorite burger from Red Robin with a butt load of fries and campfire sauce. No matter tough a day a person has, friends and food always help.

Thank you for reading. I know I will get through this with the help of many other including the blogging community. Thanks!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Not So Pleasant Valentines Day

As the world celebrates Valentines Day, I grieve. Grieve over the loss of my grandma. I found out she had passed shortly before my session with Gilbert started. So guess what we discussed as I waited for my ride to pick me up so I could have a final goodbye. Yup, my grandma. I miss my grandma so much.

I cant continue the post right now. I will post later. Peace Out, World!!!

Valentines Day In The Hospital

Happy Valentines Day!!! It is not such a Happy Valentines Day for me because I am on an inpatient psych unit. I have been in the psych ward for a week today. It is not easy being back in especially since I have been out of one for nearly three and a half years.

Yes, it may have been three years three months and one week since I was last discharged from one when I was admitted this current time however it is a much needed hospitalization. I started feeling very unstable and extremely suicidal. In fact if my fiancé hadn’t been around I probably would have cut myself. I am emotionally beating myself up for being back in the hospital because I thought I was “stronger” than I am at the moment. In fact I’m in the hospital because of the miscarriage I had back in January.

I didn’t realize that the miscarriage effected me as much as it did. I was too busy making sure Junior was doing okay with the miscarriage that I wasn’t focusing on me. Junior realized that I wasn’t doing so well and encouraged me to go to the Emergency Room (ER). I agreed to go to the Emergency Room (ER), so Junior took me to get evaluated. He sat with me till I got admitted. Thankfully, I was admitted to the hospital that helps me the best.

I am starting to feel a little better and am using the opportunity of the hospital to my advantages. I am going to every group I am to attends. I am also watching different types of video’s or DVD’s in my spare time to learn as much as I can. I figure that if the tax payers (which includes me) are paying for my hospital stay I might as well as take advantage of it. My insurance is federally and state funded. I don’t work enough hours to get insurance from my employer and that is okay for me.

My employer is pretty cool with me being her. They understand that me being in the hospital is what is best for me and my clients. My boss is extremely laid back is happy that I am seeking the help that I need and that I am setting a good example for my clients. I really miss my job as well as my clients.

The cool thing is that my boss came and visited me as well as two of my co-workers. My fiancé came and saw me today. He got me a single purple rose. It means the world to me that he has been visiting me. Tomorrow my friend Susan (who writes the blog bravelybipolar.wordpress.com) is coming to visit me.  I have an awesome support network.

I should get going. Have a good rest of Valentines Day everyone. Peace out and don’t let the bed bugs bite.