Another Day of Sleep & Night of Insomnia

Hello, World!!! It is extremely early on the morning of Sunday, September 4, 2022; here in Seattle. I’m unable to sleep for the second night in a row. Primarily due to sleeping during the day. Not the brightest thing to do especially since I volunteer later on this morning.

Despite being just after two in the morning two in the morning, I feel like I have accomplished a lot tonight. First and fore most I listened to a podcast about philosophy as I colored picture for my mom so I can sure her up. My mom is dealing with stage three lung cancer and hope my colored picture cheers her up. As I colored the picture, I mentioned I’ve listened to a podcast philosophy. The podcast I listened to the philosophy podcast Philosophize This. I highly recommend listening to Philosophize This.

Another thing, I have done was a Basic Math and Pre-Algebra book. I’m doing this because I want to for the hell of it. Plus, if ever get the luxury of going to college, it will put me in a higher math class. But the honest reality is I just want to learn more even if I don’t even attend college. Kind of like me listening to Philosophize this except philosophy is my interesting.

I guess it is now time to play with my precious and playful cat, Billie. I love my Billie so much. He has always be there for me emotionally but the last couple of weeks he has been there for me a little bit more extra. I love my cat so much.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Even though it’s just after two in the morning on a Sunday morning, I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Can’t Sleep; Worried About Mom & Brother

I am unable to sleep for two reason. First my mom has stage three lung cancer and second; nobody has heard from my brother for nearly three months. Nobody seems to care about to do a missing person report on my brother but me. My brother came up missing right before the cancer diagnosis of my mom. Not sure if the two are related. I’m worried about both my mom and brother. I would love my mommy and brother to meet my cat Billie. Not sure if that will be a reality now as nobody knows where my brother is and nobody knows how much time my mom has live or if she will survive. I’m hopping a miracle happens some how since my brother has know idea our mom has cancer.

I don’t have much much to say but thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update on My Mom

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just got back from my First Aid, CPR and AED training and will update you in a different post about it. I forgot to update you about my mom yesterday. As I’ve mentioned in previous blog post my mom has stage three lung cancer. Sadly they can not do surgery due to it being too risky on where the cancer is in the lung. So, the treatment plan is radiation and chemo therapy specific to the exact type of cancer she has and will be “mapped out” so it is directed only at the cancer. My mom is scared as anyone with cancer is but she appears to be in good spirits and has a positive outlook but she is also be realistic about things as well.

In fact she is taking it better than the rest of the family which would be me, my cousins, auntie and uncles. Sadly nobody has heard from my brother in while as he does these disappearing acts from time to time. In all honesty when my brother gets the news he is going to take it the hardest as he a mama’s boy.

I need to end this post before I start crying again. Please sent positive vibes, energy, juju and prayers my mom’s way. Thank you for reading my blog and Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World. It is Saturday which mean its weekly check-in time even though I haven’t done one in a few weeks. I have had many up and downs this week. If you have been reading my blog regularly I got laid off and my last day was Friday, June 3rd, 2022. Which put be in a depression that sent me into the Emergency Room for psych reasons. Thankfully I was not hospitalized.

Monday of this week I had an interview for a peer specialist job. If I wouldn’t have been discharged from the Emergency Room for psych reasons I wouldn’t have received the call on Wednesday to accept the job I had interviewed for on Monday. My orientation is on Monday, June 20th and my first day of training is on Monday, June 27th.

Sadly, I found out on Thursday, June 9th that my mom has lung cancer and test are still being done. They don’t know if how severe it is as her memory is sadly going down hill. The doctors need to do a MRI to see if there are any unusual spots on her brain and if so is it able to do an operation on the possible brain tumor which would have spread due to the Lung cancer. They will able deal with the lung cancer and take out the spot so that’s a good thing. If it turns out there is no spot on her brain when get gets the MRI, it could mean she could have dementia or Alzheimer’s. As much as I don’t want my mom to have Alzheimer’s. or dementia, I would rather haver her have that than a brain tumor due to her lung cancer.

Going on to a better subject, Seattle had a beautiful day. I was able enjoy the Sunny is Seattle day with my cat Billie Dean. Billie was actually brave enough to be outside on his harness and leash for ten minutes. He spent thirty minutes walking around inside my apartment building. We both got are steps in today.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog from my perspective. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog.. Peace Out, World!!!

A Rollercoaster of the Last Few Days

Good Evening, World. Today has been a rollercoaster of a day. Lets start with the good news. I had an interview on Monday an was offered the job yesterday (Wednesday) that I got the job. I am looking forward to the new job that I start June 27th of this month. I have mixed feelings with this job but at least I’ll have employment starting the end of the month.

On that note my mom’s health hast been the best and have forgetting things a lot and usually remembers everything. My mom’s breathing has been getting worse so long story short the found a spot on her lung. It’s been made official she has lung cancer but need more test to be done see what stage it is in. The doctors need to do more test including removing the spot on her lung. She will be having more test including an MRI for her head due to her forgetfulness which is unlike my mom. If they find something in her brain that it is not suppose to be there not only will she have surgery on the removing the spot if find one if it safe enough to do it as the brain is very fragile. I will keep you updated about my mom when test results come in.

I’m just glad that I have the support of my friends, family and of course my cat Billie. Today has been a tough day and Billie has be helpful.

Than you for reading my blog. I hope you can give out positive energy and vibes for my mom. I love her so much. Again thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Painful Mother’s Day

Good Morning, World!!! As American’s celebrate Mother’s Day, I sit here dealing with grief and loss. The grief and loss of my grandma and being the first Mother’s Day with out her. Also dealing with the loss of two sets of twins. Not everyone has a good or happy Mother’s Day due to the painful experiences of loosing a child or children in my case as well as grandma.

For me Mother’s Day is also painful for me because my mom was not always there for me. She kept deciding throughout my childhood she couldn’t “handle” me for a multitude of reasons. One reason is because of her addiction to Heroin.

I want to discuss with you more about how things are going for me today but even writing this is have tears roll down my face. I am going to get going and do some mindfulness. Have a great day. Peace out, world!!!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, World!!! I’m stating the obvious here; it is St. Patrick’s Day. Today is where most of the world thinks they are Irish even if they are not. I am fifty percent Irish. In fact I am third generation born here in America from Ireland. That means my great grandparents immigrated from Ireland.

That’s why when it comes to immigration, I am all for it. All people are looking for, when they immigrate is for a better life. That is what both sets of great grandparents did on my mothers side did. They made a better life for themselves. Granted life was not easy for my great grandparents yet at least it was better than living in Ireland at that time. I’m not saying America is better than Ireland, I am saying that my great grandparents were making a better life for themselves.

Thank you for reading my blog. Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Peace Out, World!!!

 

How I became Gerties Motherly Figure

Gertie has an endearing way about them that has one’s heart accept them as who they are even at their most challenging times. On that note, I quickly realized what Gertie needed the most in their life was a motherly figure. A motherly figure so desperately needed when they were growing up and still craves as an adult even seventeen years later after I met them.

Gertie has the sweetest heart that has a hint of childlikeness to it. This most likely why they are so enduring. I chose to become their mother figure after we start becoming friends realizing that’s all they ever wanted in their life. I think with me stepping up to the mother figure role in Gerties role it helped them with continuing their recovery a process. A process that Gertie as worked long and hard for. Yes, they have had their ups and downs in recovery however with my help and the help of many others Gertie has thrived. Thrived in a way that a great deal of others never thought possible.

It is because of Gertie’s resiliency I have stuck by them and be a motherly figure to them. A figure that neither one of us expected would happen till it happened. A figure that both of us have cherished ever since.

Hello, It’s Me Again; Mama Bear

Hello! I am the motherly figure in Gertie’s life that they fondly refer me as “Mama Bear.” I haven’t posted in quite sometime and was asked by Gertie to do a brief reintroduction of myself.

I have known Gertie for over 17 years and have seen her grow as person as well as in their recovery. Yes, Gertie has been struggling the last year however I still see them making strides as a person and in their recovery.

As Gertie stated in their post yesterday, they want Junior and myself to post every other week and alternate the weeks we post with the excepting of this week. From my understanding Junior will be posting tomorrow. My post will mainly consist of what its like to be a motherly figure to someone who has lived experience. That shouldn’t be too difficult for me to convey as I am a mother of four children and my two youngest deal with their own mental health struggles. In fact Gertie is a role model and example of what recovery looks like to all four of my children especially my two youngest.

Thank you for reading.