The Elusiveness of Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is four thirty-two in the morning here in Seattle. I am still wide awake, and this insomnia is just driving me batty but thankfully not batty enough to not end up in the looney bin. I just wish I knew why my insomnia is so bad lately and it is frustrating as hell.

Since I have not been able to sleep, I have been focused on learning new coping skills and building on old coping skills. I have been doing this by working on a couple of workbooks. Workbooks that remind me of what helps and what does not help and what I can try again to see if it helps this time around. Recovery is nonlinear and if certain coping skill didn’t help years ago does not mean they won’t help now and that gives me a lot of hope. Hope goes a long way especially when it comes to coping skills and using them even if they did not help at one point in time.

This just a random thought but I wonder if any of my references has been called yet. I am not sure why I just that of that but all I can think of is that I really want the job. I also hope that I am not getting my hopes up too high or that I am pulling cart before the horse. I also hope I am not jinxing myself. I’m now just rambling on and on and I really should just try to go to bed again.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except that I really want some sleep. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is one seventeen in the morning here in Seattle and I am struggling. I am struggling with the lack of sleep. The lack of sleep is due to insomnia and PTSD. The lack of sleep is also causing me to struggle more with my PTSD and some increased depression symptoms. Both the depression and PTSD is causing some anxiety and anger. Neither emotion is an emotion I like to deal with. Hell, I try my best to avoid both emotions.

On the note of emotions, I have been using the coping skills in the Emotional Regulation module of Dialectal Behavioral Therapy (DBT). These skills are very helpful for me especially right now. In fact, all the DBT skill in all four modules are helpful for me. As I do my DBT skills I remember that when I made an active choice to be in active mental health recovery it was when I decided to be in an intensive outpatient DBT program and that gives me hope that things will get better, and this too will pass.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Thinking About Things; Yes, It’s A Scary Thought

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have been thinking about things and yes, I know that is a scary thought. I have been thinking about ways to improve myself and become a better person. There are many ways a person can improve themselves and I will do my best to use what I have to do that.

One of the ways, I am planning on improving myself is doing math. Yes, I said math. The reason why math is because I barely passed basic math in high school and that was decades ago. I just want to relearn what I forgot and learn what wasn’t taught to me. I know it may seem odd for me to relearn what I forgot and learn what I was not taught but I don’t care if others find it odd as math is something we need in our daily lives.

Another way I plan on improving myself is learning Spanish. I plan on learning Spanish through Duolingo and possibly a workbook. I have people in my life that I can practice with which is a really good thing to make sure I am speaking Spanish correctly. It is always a good thing to know how to speak another language other than your native language.

As far as self-improvement goes this is an easy choice for me to choose. Of course, I am continue going to therapy and do daily mindfulness meditation practice. I will also continue to do recovery related workbooks to help build on my coping skills as well as help build on my resiliency as a part of my recovery. For me doing working on workbooks helps me stay in recovery mode as well as helps in between sessions with my therapist.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Mom & Dad

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now, I am really missing my parents. Yesterday marked three months since my mom died and tomorrow marks one month since my dad’s death. Losing both parents is extremely challenging especially when their deaths are so close to each other. Losing both parents so close to each other has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Emotions that I really do not want to deal with and if I do not acknowledge them then the rollercoaster ride just gets worse, so I am acknowledging that I am not liking my emotions at the moment. I just wish my parents were both still alive and accepting the fact that this my new reality is hard. I just hope they both knew how much I loved them.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Finally Got Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 10:09 in the morning here in Seattle and it is a beautiful sunny day outside. I also finally got some much-needed sleep which is something I needed since I will be doing volunteer shift with Alley Cat Project and PAWS Cat City.

Oh, how I love to be able to give of my time to nonprofit organizations especially ones that help cats. I really enjoy giving my time especially when it comes to helping cats as I am a huge cat lover. I also love that my volunteer positions at Alley Cat Project and PAWS Cat City are completely different yet gives me a similar skill set for future volunteer jobs as well as future paid employment.

Speaking of employment, I had a job interview this past Tuesday which I thought did not go so very well. It apparently went better than expected as I received an email yesterday asking for references. I take being asked for references after a job interview as a good sign and I really hope it is a good sign. I really would like this job.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still No Sleep for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five forty in the morning here in Seattle and I still have not slept which royally sucks. I really wish I could sleep. Sleep is important to a person’s physical health as well as a person’s mental health and hope I get some sleep, so it does not start affecting my health or wellbeing.

Not only am dealing with no sleep due to insomnia and PTSD, but I am also dealing with some depression symptoms. Just like I mentioned in my last post I have been working on some workbooks to help me with the symptoms of my mental health challenges. Learning new coping skills and building on the coping skills that I have learned throughout the years in my recovery only helps me even more in my recovery journey. As tired as I am, I am grateful that I have the time to learn new coping skills through the recovery related workbooks that I am doing.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

PTSD + Insomnia = No Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two thirty-four in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep. I am unable to due to PTSD and insomnia which sucks but it is something that I have dealt with in the past. As much as it sucks, I am also realizing that I am fighting some depression symptoms which makes the no sleep thing with PTSD and insomnia suckier than it should be.

Since I am dealing with little sleep due to insomnia and PTSD as well as dealing with increased depression symptoms, I have decided to do some recovery related workbooks. Workbooks that are helping me learn new skills as well as helping me build more resiliency in my life. I am glad that I do workbooks to help myself with my recovery as the skills I learn helps build on what I have already learned in my recovery. For me my recovery is one of the most important things in my life.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except that I wish I could sleep and didn’t have to deal with insomnia, depression and PTSD. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an afternoon and evening of keeping my mind busy. Busy with various activities that can keep the brain sharp and busy. I actually started and finished a logic puzzle or problem or whatever you want to call it. I am very proud of myself for completing a logic puzzle and hope that I can do at least one a week. Logic problems can be a bit challenging which is why I am giving myself a week to do one and that I am surprised that I completed one in one day.

I also have done a handful of sudoku puzzles. I love doing sudoku puzzles and I do at least two a day. Today, I did eleven sudoku puzzles which a lot of them and I feel accomplished doing that many of them. I like the fact that sudoku puzzles keep my mind sharp and help me stay focused.

I also worked on two recovery related workbooks. Workbooks that I am learning new things about myself and recovery as well as new skills to help myself. I also hope to being able to purchase an extra workbook of both of the workbooks I worked on today so, I can have group around them when I get a job as a peer specialist. I am the type of person who will do a workbook before creating a group around it as I want to make sure I know what I am talking about as well as making sure that it could be helpful. Anyway, that two workbooks I worked on have been helpful for me and I know one of them was helpful for a friend as it was suggested by her for me to do the one she did.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have some good news regarding the job interview I had yesterday. I was emailed this morning asking to give references and I, of course, emailed my references and now it is the waiting game to see if I got the job. I really would like this job especially since I think it will be a good fit for me, my recovery and will help with building resiliency in myself.

Speaking of resiliency, I am doing a recovery related workbook on resiliency. Part of recovery with a mental health challenge is building resiliency and able to continue to be resilient no matter what life throws at you. Trust me when I say life has thrown me a lot of shit the last few months especially with the fact that both parents died within two months of each other. Resiliency is something everyone has and can build on.

I am just grateful that my resiliency and my recovery with a mental health challenge is why I am getting back into the workforce. A workforce that is part of my career choice as being a peer support specialist. A peer specialist is someone who is recovery from a substance use disorder (SUD) and/or a mental health challenge. A peer specialist offers hope to people they are helping along their recovery journey.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Diamond Painting Slowly Progressing

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! If you read my blog on the regular basis, you know that I am really enjoy doing diamond art/painting. In fact, I have been working on this particular diamond art/painting since this past Saturday, and it is Wednesday. The diamond art/painting that I am doing is one of a tuxedo cat in a tree. As I have mentioned in previous blog post, I chose this particular diamond art/painting because my own cat, Billie is a tuxedo cat. It is my plan to share a picture of the progress I am making on the diamond art/painting I am working on.

(So, if you are sight impair or blind I will be adding captions to the pictures I will be posting.) The pictures are following this sentence:

The diamond art/painting of a tuxedo cat in a tree that I am doing is slowly progressing.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!