Tag Archives: Depression

Brief Blog Before Going to Volunteer

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now, I am dealing with some depression and PTSD symptoms which majorly sucks. I just want to stay home and do absolutely nothing. The thing is if I do then I will be stuck in my own head which isn’t very helpful at all. I can easily just call out from volunteering at PAWS Cat City but I am not going to do that because, I don’t want to be stuck in my own head, and I really do enjoy volunteering. Plus, I love cats. I am just happy that I have volunteering today as well as going out to dinner later to Red Robin with my partner and some of our friends. It also looks like it is going to be another beautiful day here in Seattle weather wise. I love today’s Seattle weather. Now time to give my own cat some loving before volunteering.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except that I need to volunteer with a bunch of cats and PAWS Cat City. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s that time of week again where I do my weekly check-in. Let’s discuss how work is going. My job is going quite well, and I love my job. Despite being informed that I am doing a good job at work I worry about not passing my probationary period due to my supervisor being out on leave to take care of his mom, I’ve been informed to not worry about as I am “doing a good job and going above and beyond the call of duty.”

Even though I have been told this, it still worries me but at least I am doing what I am supposed be doing. In fact, I am doing some trainings to help the people I help. The plus thing it is counting continuing education credits once the peer licensure changes. I am really enjoying the two trainings/continuing education courses I am taking. I am taking Personal Medicine Coaching that Pat Deegan created which is awesome as well as taking the Hearing Voices Facilitator training through the Hearing Voices Network USA. I really do enjoy the fact it is all peer focused, and the trainings are being facilitated by people who have lived experience and if for some reason I don’t pass my probationary period at work, I at least have more to add to my resume. Hell, even if I pass it still looks good on the resume. A good friend of mine as well as current colleague both tell me that I am experiencing something called imposter syndrome. I’m not sure if I am experiencing imposter syndrome or not, many people no matter their job title experience it.

I may not know if I have imposter syndrome regarding my job, my depression and PTSD symptoms have been acting up. I have a theory or two on why my symptoms are acting up, but I do know what is helping me cope with my symptoms. Going to work is helping just like volunteering at PAWS Cat City and with Alley Cat Project. Volunteering and working help a great deal but my cat, Billie is extremely helpful with coping. I am so very glad that I have my cat, Billie in my life to help me through good and bad moments as well as everything in between.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off PTSD & Depression Symptoms

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am struggling with some depression and PTSD. I wish I was not struggling with my PTSD or depression symptoms but I am. Since I am struggling with my mental health symptoms, I made sure I went to my regular volunteer shift at PAWS Cat City which helped a great deal. Now that I am home, I had a late lunch and cuddled with my cat, Billie as I did some artwork. The type of artwork that I did was color. Coloring is both therapeutic and meditative for me. Even though my PTSD and depression symptoms are acting up, I am glad volunteering at PAWS Cat City, cuddling with my cat, Billie and coloring have been helpful for me today. Let’s hope coloring continues to help me this evening. Cuddling with my cat, Billie is always helpful.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

My 7th Post of the Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This is my seventh post of the day. That is a lot of posts in one day. My depression and PTSD symptoms are acting up and I am not sure why they are. To help combat the increased depression and PTSD symptoms, I have been relying on my coping skills. The two main coping skills that I have been using today is artwork and my cat, Billie. The type of artwork I have doing is coloring. I love to color. As I have colored, my cat, Billie has been in my lap or lying next to me. I love my cat, Billie so very much and I am lucky to have him in my life.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

There is Nothing Better Than the Love of a Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am dealing with a combination of depression, PTSD and grief regarding both of my parents’ death. Since I am dealing with so much right now with the grief of losing my parent, increased depression and PTSD I am grateful for my cat, Billie. I am grateful for Billie’s unconditional love that he gives me. Human’s including myself don’t deserve the love of animals especially their pets. I know I don’t deserve Billie’s unconditional love, and I am so very grateful for his love.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is one seventeen in the morning here in Seattle and I am struggling. I am struggling with the lack of sleep. The lack of sleep is due to insomnia and PTSD. The lack of sleep is also causing me to struggle more with my PTSD and some increased depression symptoms. Both the depression and PTSD is causing some anxiety and anger. Neither emotion is an emotion I like to deal with. Hell, I try my best to avoid both emotions.

On the note of emotions, I have been using the coping skills in the Emotional Regulation module of Dialectal Behavioral Therapy (DBT). These skills are very helpful for me especially right now. In fact, all the DBT skill in all four modules are helpful for me. As I do my DBT skills I remember that when I made an active choice to be in active mental health recovery it was when I decided to be in an intensive outpatient DBT program and that gives me hope that things will get better, and this too will pass.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still No Sleep for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five forty in the morning here in Seattle and I still have not slept which royally sucks. I really wish I could sleep. Sleep is important to a person’s physical health as well as a person’s mental health and hope I get some sleep, so it does not start affecting my health or wellbeing.

Not only am dealing with no sleep due to insomnia and PTSD, but I am also dealing with some depression symptoms. Just like I mentioned in my last post I have been working on some workbooks to help me with the symptoms of my mental health challenges. Learning new coping skills and building on the coping skills that I have learned throughout the years in my recovery only helps me even more in my recovery journey. As tired as I am, I am grateful that I have the time to learn new coping skills through the recovery related workbooks that I am doing.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

PTSD + Insomnia = No Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two thirty-four in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep. I am unable to due to PTSD and insomnia which sucks but it is something that I have dealt with in the past. As much as it sucks, I am also realizing that I am fighting some depression symptoms which makes the no sleep thing with PTSD and insomnia suckier than it should be.

Since I am dealing with little sleep due to insomnia and PTSD as well as dealing with increased depression symptoms, I have decided to do some recovery related workbooks. Workbooks that are helping me learn new skills as well as helping me build more resiliency in my life. I am glad that I do workbooks to help myself with my recovery as the skills I learn helps build on what I have already learned in my recovery. For me my recovery is one of the most important things in my life.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except that I wish I could sleep and didn’t have to deal with insomnia, depression and PTSD. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Seattle Weather + Depression = Time to Color

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right this very moment in my Seattle neighborhood it windy with a downpouring rain. This weather is normal for Seattle this time of year and it sucks especially when you struggle with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) along with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Both types of depression are common for many people to have in Seattle and some of us like myself have both. Having both types of depression especially in Seattle, sucks but knowing how to cope with the depression is key to making sure it doesn’t get the better of you.

Not letting depression get the better of you is to realize what help you cope with depression. For me one of the ways I cope with depression is various types of artwork including but not limited to coloring. Coloring is something I have enjoyed since childhood. I did not stop coloring when I became a teenager, nor did I stop coloring as an adult. I love to color and truly enjoy it which is why I am going to color after I am finished with this particular blob post.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Good Day & Yet I’m Currently Dissociating

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a good day for me here in Seattle yet I am currently dissociating which suck shit. I am not really one hundred percent sure why I am dissociating which is scary as hell but I am sure that it is PTSD related. I do know it was a cold foggy day here in Seattle which is probably why my depression symptoms are slightly worse. Like I said I have had a good day and I have been in a really good mood. I will take a good day and a good mood with slightly elevated depression symptoms over a shitty day any day of the week.

Something I realized around the time I got hurt by a neighbor in the summer of 2023 when my dissociation started getting bad again, I color when I am dissociated. It is usually a giant poster or two that are mandala type and/or kaleidoscope type poster. I also color smaller posters that are about eight by ten (or maybe eight by twelve). The smaller posters that I am doing are sort of the similar designs as the giant poster. I only color these particular posters while I have other posters I color and focus on when I am not dissociated. You can tell just by the coloring and the mindset I am in. I think I am going to cuddle with my cat Billie as I do some coloring. My cat is even more of a lap kitty or velcro kitty when I am dissociating. I think my cat Billie does this to make sure I am safe. I love my cat, Billie so very much.

I do not have anything else to write about or to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, than you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!