11:00 pm Randomness

Hello, World!!! It is eleven o’clock at night in my corner of the world. I went to a work training this evening and enjoyed it immensely. Talking about work I was asked earlier today (Wednesday) if I could cover someone’s shift tomorrow (Thursday) night and I said yes. I need the hours and extra money. It is going to be my first shift by myself and I am okay with that. At least I know that there will be two other staff members downstairs managing the emergency shelter that if I need help that I will be able to get it. So, even though I am sleepy right now and could maybe fall asleep, I am trying to stay up all night so I can sleep tomorrow during the day. Like I have said before my shifts are at night. They are from 8:00 pm to 8:00 am. So, I figure if I stay awake tonight I can sleep tomorrow and manage to stay awake during my twelve hour night shift tomorrow (Thursday).

Besides attending a training for work today, I also went to a group therapy session. The group was about communication. I enjoyed the group and I plan on going to it next Wednesday. I am hoping it will help me with my communication skills especially when it comes to health communication.

I not only attended group therapy, I saw my therapist today. We discussed the assault that happened to me at the hospital a few days ago. We also discussed the shooting that happened in front of my apartment building earlier today. We discussed how both can affect my mental health specifically my PTSD.  I really like my therapist and he is really good at his job.

Before I forget I emailed my supervisor and three others from work regarding my disability without divulging too much about it. I discussed with them in the email two my accommodations and will let them know my other accommodations by November 2nd which is in a week and two days. I am proud of myself for letting my employer know about my disability and my needs regarding my disability.

I need to figure out away to stay up all night or at least most of the night so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Thursday) so I can work effectively Thursday night into Friday morning.  So, if I post a great deal tonight, it is because I am trying to stay awake and not sleep. It will have nothing to do with not being able to not sleep. Who knew blogging would help me stay awake for me to sleep during the day.

Well, I am sure I will be blogging again later tonight. Not sure what I will be blogging about later on but I am sure some of it will be a bunch bullshit nobody really wants to read or hear about. So I hope that the blogging through the night will not only help me but help you my reader.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. It means a lot to me from the bottom of my heart. Again, thank you for reading. I hope all of you have a good nights sleep as I attempt to stay awake so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Thursday) so I can stay awake for work Thursday night. Good night everyone. Peace Out, World

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Thursday Evening Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! First things first, I finally got some rest today. I was able to take a nap. I took a five hour nap which is a miracle for multiple reason. One, I rarely am able to take a nap. Secondly, sleeping for five hours for me even when it’s at night is an extreme rarity. So, I am thrilled that I was able to sleep and am grateful it was for so long. I do worry that I won’t be able to sleep tonight due to such a long nap.

I did let my work know today via email that I have a disability and that I will need accommodations. I informed them of two accommodations right off the bat in the email and informed them I will let them know of the other accommodations I will need or willing to work out with them by then end of next week. My supervisor’s supervisor thanked me for let me know and keep him informed and if any other accommodations come up the longer I work there don’t hesitate to inform the appropriate people who will be in the need to know category.  It feels like I am very supported at my new job.

Even though I have had an overall good day, with a positive email from work regarding disability accommodations and a five hour nap, I still have self harm urges. Self harm urges that I wish weren’t so strong at the moment. (Side Note: I will not self harm as I already have a safety plan in place and have talked with a crisis work on whom I can call back if needed.) Having self harm urges when things appear to be going well are quite annoying. Hell, even when things aren’t going well self harm urges are annoying.

I think after I am done posting this post that I will binge watch some television on Netflix or Hulu. Not sure what shows, I will binge watch but it will be a great way to vedge out for a few hours especially if I am unable to sleep tonight.

As a quick reminder to you all, I have advertisements on my blog. The advertisements are meant for me to earn a few extra cents to dollars a month. The way I earn the money is if you my reader click on the advertisement. I would appreciate it from the bottom of my heart if you could click on an advertisement or two once a week if you feel like helping a fellow blogger out. I am trying to earn extra money to buy gifts for friends and family for the upcoming holidays.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

What’s The Point?

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I have a bunch of emotions going on within myself that I am having difficulty thinking straight. Maybe it’s because of the lack of sleep I had last night but I just want things to go the way I want them to. I am sick and tired of playing the waiting game on things.

For instance I received an email last week from a potential employer if I could interview at one specific time however I had another obligation and was informed that I would receive another email about another interview time for this week. That has not happened yet. It is getting extremely frustrating on my part because I expected the email by last Friday. I emailed them last Thursday in hopes to get a response yet I am still waiting on one.

I am starting to feel as if I will remain unemployed on disability for the rest of my life. Not working is having an effect on my mental health. I have been applying to other jobs as well but nothing not even a possibility of an interview.

What’s the point of even trying to go back to work when there are plenty of jobs out there that I am well qualified for yet not getting any bites. I mean I feel like nobody wants to hire me because I resigned from my last job due to the fact my symptoms were getting out of control and how can I help others when I needed to focus on my own recovery at the moment.

I just want a job I can be proud of and that will make me happy. Plus I need to make more money than I am making on disability. The universe needs to give me a break and finally let me go back to work. I am bored half out of my mind with not working.

Thank you for reading me ramble on and on about my job search. I hope everyone has an awesome Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Much On My Mind To Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! Happy Friday to all you people out there. I am having trouble sleeping tonight because I have a great deal on my mind. Department of Social and Human Services (DSHS) is cutting off my medical assistants and food stamps I tend to get a little worried about it. However its state that Social Security is going to be giving me more money which I think is a glitch in someone’s system so I will call DSHS later on today to talk to the about it. I’m sure it will be taken care of even if I have to go to the office to take care of it for yet another possible review. What DSHS does can screw up with what Social Security does with my disability checks.

I am also in a great deal of pain do to an extremely weird mouth infection which has nothing to do with my dental problems. The antibiotics appear to not be working. I hope that when I see my doctor later that I can get stronger antibiotics. I am also hoping to get something stronger than ibuprofen for the pain but I doubt it will happen.

I am hoping as I blog more and include different tags that I’ll get more readership. Using various types of tags appears to be helping for now. For me I want to reach people to give them hope and/or help lessen the stigma that goes with having a mental health challenge.

I should really get going. Please send out positive vibes and/or thoughts and/or energy that I find out later today when my job interview will be for next week regarding the Shelter Counselor position. I really want this employment opportunity.

I hope everyone has a good rest of your nights sleep. If you are already up and going I hope you have a good Friday. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

Fun Times At The DSHS Office, NOT

Good Morning, World!!! I had to go to the Department of Social and Human Services (DSHS) office to get back on Medicaid as Social Security stopped part of my disability benefits. It’s frustrating as hell when you pay into the system and unable to get your full benefits.

As I was in the at the DSHS office I found out I will be getting food stamps as well as them paying for my Medicare premiums which will be quite helpful for me. I just need to figure out how to pay for my bills.

This is where having a great support system comes in. Having friends to help in tough times including tough financial times is great. I wish everyone could have awesome friends like me.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Venting My Frustrations

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!

Stereotypes, Everyone Has Them

Good Morning, World!!! I have decided to do a post on stereotypes because lets face it; everyone has them. Stereotypes differ from person to person and one’s culture could play major role in how we stereotype others.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about this for a multitude of reasons. One of the reasons is I’ve seen multiple negative post about millennials on Facebook. Yes, I have seen some funny post posted by millennials yet the negative post I’ve seen have been posted by folks in my generation. I know that many folks in the generation before mine had their stereotypes of Generation Xers as being the “lazy generation.” I don’t know about being lazy but I do know this partly why folks in different generations to not respect those who of a different age.

Another stereotypes are race and ethnicity. For example some folks thinks all Asians are geniuses because they do well in school and in the business and technology aspects in life. While another stereotype which is unfortunately a negative one is that those who are Hispanic or Latino/Latina are illegal immigrants. Similar thing to African American people specifically males that they are all thugs or gang members. Or those who are in the LGBTQ community are all child molesters.  Having stereotypes toward folks is never a good thing as you are judging someone by the color of their skin.

Same thing goes towards people with disabilities and mental health conditions/challenges as individuals usually don’t act and/or learn the same way everyone else does. So what if this is true. Those of use with disabilities and/or mental health conditions tend to be more caring, loving, compassionate and empathetic than others.

Folks are stereotyped by there gender, religion, sexual orientation, race, education, and so on. So I ask that we put away are stereotypes of people and get to know them as a person. Thanks you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World