Tag Archives: Mental Health

Coloring to Help the Inner Child Within

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning, Seattle time. I woke up from a nightmare about an hour ago and I feel like a scared little kid. A scared little kid that had to grow up fast in childhood. Since I am feeling like a scared little kid I have been coloring as I find it quite helpful to connect with my inner child that had to grow too fast. Coloring is also a mindfulness practice for me as it helps become grounded and present as well as to stay grounded and present in the moment.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Thing I Would Love To Witness Is A Flash Mob

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am not sure how I am doing and would like to let you know something I would love to witness and have honestly only informed one person of it in my entire life which I would really love to witness a flash mob singing and playing musical instruments. I realize this is weird and that only one other person in my life is aware of it seems unusual however I really don’t want people to gear the flash mob for me. I would like to enjoy it without being embarrassed as well as have other people just enjoy it and not focus on me. I think witnessing one would be fun and I hope I can witness one in my lifetime. I know it seems silly to want to witness a flash mob but I think it would make me happy as well as make other people happy.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What Are Your Biggest Challenges

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
View all responses

I can spend all day listing my challenges as I have so many of them already however I am not going to do that. I will say that my biggest challenges are myself as well as PTSD and Depression.

I am one of my biggest challenges because I can get in the way of myself in many different ways and can prevent myself from accomplishing great things in my community. I get in the way of myself by a lot of negative self talk which isn’t good for anyone especially those like me who have a mental health diagnosis.

Speaking of mental health diagnoses, my own diagnoses are challenging. Some moments are more challenging than other moments. Knowing when certain times of the year are harder than other times of year can be quite helpful to make sure those moments don’t have to be as challenging.

A Long @$$ Woe is Me Post with Hopes of Fun

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Right now, I am slightly struggling with the symptoms of Depression and PTSD as well as an event that happened yesterday (Wednesday). Maybe part of what the struggle is, is due to another event that happened this past Monday. Also, I get how the Depression and PTSD symptoms can intertwine with the events that have happened this past week and I think if I want in a better place mental health wise that the two events that affected me wouldn’t have affected me as badly as they did.

Just some background is I am assigned as female at birth however, I do not go by she/her pronouns as I identify as non-binary which means, I use the pronouns of they/them. I realize that gender identity is complicated for everyone whether or not you identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth.

On that note, it is no secret that I am a client of a community mental health agency here in Seattle as it is something I don’t hide from people for various reasons. This particular mental health agency has a mental health clubhouse which is named Emerald House. Emerald House has a relatively new staff person who happens to be a peer specialist who has obvious favorites from my perspective as I too, am a peer specialist who has worked in the mental health field. I am not judging this person for having favorite clients as anyone who works in the mental health field does have favorites as we are all human. On that note, I get the impression this person struggles dealing with me just as much as I struggle with them. I do know this peer specialist tries their best and it is obvious that this person wants to do well at their job.

The reason why I mentioned Emerald House, the peer specialist (who identifies as the gender they were assigned with at birth) and my own gender identity as it plays a major role into the events that occurred on Monday and yesterday (Wednesday). Emerald House is open three weekdays a week and the two other weekdays have an hour virtual group. Well, Mondays are one of those days it is opened and this past Monday I decided to attend. Long story short other members were not respecting my pronouns and it had been a long while since I educated and reminded these particular fellow members of my preferred pronouns. The three or four other members I educated and reminded didn’t appear to be bothered by this. Sadly, as I was leaving Emerald House for the day, the peer specialist spoke to me privately stating that I need to “not censor peoples words” in regards to my preferred pronouns. Needless to say I was and still am livid about this and didn’t say anything as I want to make sure I am in a space where I can advocate for myself in an appropriate manner as well as be able to actively listen and hear what the peer specialist communicates to me.

Now that informed you have Mondays events, I would like to let inform you of yesterday’s (Wednesday) events which normally would not have affected me as severely as they did if it were not for the events of Monday. Wednesday is one of the days Emerald House is not opened but they do have a one hour virtual group. In fact yesterday was the first time I attended this particular virtual group and it went well for the most part. Two other members asked me “to cut down on the profanity” that I was using. One of the members was just completely rude about it while the other was extremely polite as can be. The rude member stated that I was being “hateful” while the polite member stated “it can be hurtful to some of us.” It was not my intention to come across as “hateful” or “hurtful” to others. I stated very calmly “I feel like I am being censored with the words I am using and I am going to leave” and I left. I left because I felt many different intense emotions and with emotions that intense I thought I would leave as I didn’t want to say something or behave in a way that I would regret later on. I am angry with myself that I appeared “hateful” and that others thought I was being “hurtful” with me cussing as I don’t want to be hateful or hurtful. I am going to do my best to not cuss but I am also very angry by the cussing incident as I was asked to “not censor other people’s words” in regards to my gender identity and preferred pronouns and I really DISLIKE being angry.

Despite being depressed, angry as well as dealing with some intense PTSD symptoms I am looking forward to attending the University of Washington’s men’s basketball game this evening against Arizona State. As much as I wish I was going to attend a Seattle Storm game, I am looking forward to attending the Husky basketball game. It is something fun that I look forward to and it is something to create memories to look back on. Creating memories to look back on is key to my mental health recovery.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post but I do hope to be able to blog about the University of Washington men’s basketball game when I get home from it. I would like to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Hump Day Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Hump Day Update time. I do not have much update you the reader on regarding what is going on in my life so far this week as it has been quite boring and uneventful. I guess that things being uneventful is a good thing especially at this particular time in my life.

The weather has been a major topic on local news stations here in Seattle. It was windy and blustery yesterday. Not only that a couple of local mountain passes had blizzard warnings which of one of them is not all that common. In fact it is supposed to snow in the Seattle area. People in Seattle don’t do well in the snow and I am one of those people. I am not a big fan of snow and highly dislike being cold.

Another thing is that I started to color a giant picture for my therapist. I just hope once I am done coloring the giant poster and give it to her that she will like it. Coloring this giant poster feeds two birds with one grain (aka: kills two birds with one stone) due to the fact that coloring helps me maintain my mental health symptoms and a finished coloring project and giving to my therapist shows my appreciation for the help she has given me.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

So Far It’s Been A Productive Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is just after twelve noon, Seattle time and I feel like it has been a productive day so far. I am beyond grateful that I have done a great deal. In fact the day is barely half over and I still have a few more things to accomplish today.

I started off my day cleaning for about an hour which surprised the hell out of me as I normally clean about fifteen minutes at a time. I then worked on a workbook to finish up the first chapter which I am happy to announce that I did. I read a couple of chapters in a book followed by attending an online group. After the online group I worked on an art project I am doing for my therapist. The art project I am doing is that I am coloring a giant poster for my therapist as an appreciation gift for all of her help.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post and have other things I would like to accomplish today. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Love Does Help One With Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am currently struggling at the moment with some pretty major PTSD symptoms and some slight depression symptoms. Due to the PTSD symptoms I called my boyfriend, Junior and he came over. (Yes, Junior and I are back together after much discussion.) Junior and I talked for a couple of hours and we both fell asleep. It is nice to love someone who you know that hurts you or harms you.

Now that we are both up, Junior is fixing the both of us breakfast. He is making French toast and scrambled eggs and bacon. I am looking forward to breakfast this morning and I am beyond grateful to have a fresh and homemade breakfast that is soon to be ready to eat.

Billie, my cat really likes Junior. Hell, if Junior and I lived together, I am sure that Junior would be Billie’s human. Of course Billie likes most people and Junior and I have no plans on moving in with each other anytime soon no matter how much we love each other.

Well, I best be going as I want to help Junior finish making breakfast and I also do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Structuring My Time

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I haven’t been unemployed for a full week yet and I am wanting and needing more structure in my daily schedule despite me doing my best to structure my days. At this point in time I do not regret quitting my job as it was not the best fit for me for reasons I rather not disclose at the moment. I know ultimately leaving my job was the best decision for me.

Yes, I may not have the structure of work that I may need but I am doing the best I can to structure my days. As part of my daily schedule doing mindfulness meditations and walking will continue. I will also be doing workbooks as a part of my recovery. I will also be setting out some time daily to read as well as some art work. Specifically, I will be coloring a giant poster for my therapist. Of course, I will be attending therapy every other week. Let’s not forget, I get to spend more time with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post.I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Blustery Winter Post From Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is that time of year where you never know what the weather is going to be here in Seattle. Well, I am partly wrong on that as most of the time it is usually dark, dreary, damp, wet and rainy. On that note, there are the occasional wind storms and sometimes snow. According to the weather report there are supposed to be strong winds today. In fact the view from my window proves this to be true as the trees are moving due to wind.

Despite the current windy and wet weather, various news reports are reporting that Seattle is supposed to have snow at the end of the week. Seattle shuts down when it snows. Part of the reason is many folks in Seattle don’t really know how to deal with which includes me especially since I spent the first sixteen years of my life in Southern California. The other reason is the lack of things such as snow plows and the fact that Seattle is the second hilliest city in the United States. (The hilliest city in the United States is San Francisco.) Snow is pretty to look at but I am not a huge fan of it due to the fact that I do not like the cold.

Even though there is a threat of snow at the end of this week, I at least know that if it does that I will have therapy on Friday as my session is virtual due to the fact my therapist works from home on Fridays. My therapist and I are working on skills to help with the Depression and PTSD symptoms I deal with especially how intense the symptoms are this time of year. Winter is a really challenging time of year for me in regards to increased Depression and PTSD symptoms which is why my therapist and I work on skills to help me through tough moments.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Managing Through a Tough Day

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been a rough day so far and it is not even twelve noon yet, here in Seattle. I think part of the reason why it has been a rough day is partly due to PTSD symptoms as well as depression symptoms. Both depression and PTSD symptoms suck but I think a factor of the depression symptoms is due to the current weather here in Seattle. It is currently cloudy with a great deal of rain. On that note at least it is not cold enough to snow as I am not a big fan of snow.

Since it hasn’t been the greatest weather outside, I have been doing some things to help myself through this tough day. I have been doing some mindfulness meditation practices as well as doing workbooks to focus on different aspects of my recovery. I have found that both the mindfulness meditation practices and doing workbooks have been quite helpful. Of course my cat, Billie, has been a major help.

Speaking of cats, I go back to volunteering at PAWS Cat City later today after taking some time off. I will be doing some sub shifts and hopefully, will be back on a regular shift soon. Volunteering with cats is awesome and I enjoy it immensely.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!