Tag Archives: Gender

The Importance of Respecting People’s Pronouns

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I know it has been a while since my last post. I had a little bit of writer’s block however the writers block appears to be gone for now. The reason why writers block is gone for now is due to my pronouns being disrespected by one of the peer specialist at the mental health agency I am a client at. I have attempted to have several conversations with this peer specialist about my pronouns as my pronouns are they/them. Sadly, my conversations have fallen on deaf ears or it appears like it from my end of things. While scrolling Facebook, I came across a meme that best describes what a person is saying or doing when you ignore a person’s pronouns. Below is the meme:

I am hoping this helps people reading my blog on the importance of using the correct pronouns for any given person. I say this because people have felt hopeless and unseen when others misgender them especially when it is done on purpose.

I do not have anything else to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog.If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Long @$$ Woe is Me Post with Hopes of Fun

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Right now, I am slightly struggling with the symptoms of Depression and PTSD as well as an event that happened yesterday (Wednesday). Maybe part of what the struggle is, is due to another event that happened this past Monday. Also, I get how the Depression and PTSD symptoms can intertwine with the events that have happened this past week and I think if I want in a better place mental health wise that the two events that affected me wouldn’t have affected me as badly as they did.

Just some background is I am assigned as female at birth however, I do not go by she/her pronouns as I identify as non-binary which means, I use the pronouns of they/them. I realize that gender identity is complicated for everyone whether or not you identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth.

On that note, it is no secret that I am a client of a community mental health agency here in Seattle as it is something I don’t hide from people for various reasons. This particular mental health agency has a mental health clubhouse which is named Emerald House. Emerald House has a relatively new staff person who happens to be a peer specialist who has obvious favorites from my perspective as I too, am a peer specialist who has worked in the mental health field. I am not judging this person for having favorite clients as anyone who works in the mental health field does have favorites as we are all human. On that note, I get the impression this person struggles dealing with me just as much as I struggle with them. I do know this peer specialist tries their best and it is obvious that this person wants to do well at their job.

The reason why I mentioned Emerald House, the peer specialist (who identifies as the gender they were assigned with at birth) and my own gender identity as it plays a major role into the events that occurred on Monday and yesterday (Wednesday). Emerald House is open three weekdays a week and the two other weekdays have an hour virtual group. Well, Mondays are one of those days it is opened and this past Monday I decided to attend. Long story short other members were not respecting my pronouns and it had been a long while since I educated and reminded these particular fellow members of my preferred pronouns. The three or four other members I educated and reminded didn’t appear to be bothered by this. Sadly, as I was leaving Emerald House for the day, the peer specialist spoke to me privately stating that I need to “not censor peoples words” in regards to my preferred pronouns. Needless to say I was and still am livid about this and didn’t say anything as I want to make sure I am in a space where I can advocate for myself in an appropriate manner as well as be able to actively listen and hear what the peer specialist communicates to me.

Now that informed you have Mondays events, I would like to let inform you of yesterday’s (Wednesday) events which normally would not have affected me as severely as they did if it were not for the events of Monday. Wednesday is one of the days Emerald House is not opened but they do have a one hour virtual group. In fact yesterday was the first time I attended this particular virtual group and it went well for the most part. Two other members asked me “to cut down on the profanity” that I was using. One of the members was just completely rude about it while the other was extremely polite as can be. The rude member stated that I was being “hateful” while the polite member stated “it can be hurtful to some of us.” It was not my intention to come across as “hateful” or “hurtful” to others. I stated very calmly “I feel like I am being censored with the words I am using and I am going to leave” and I left. I left because I felt many different intense emotions and with emotions that intense I thought I would leave as I didn’t want to say something or behave in a way that I would regret later on. I am angry with myself that I appeared “hateful” and that others thought I was being “hurtful” with me cussing as I don’t want to be hateful or hurtful. I am going to do my best to not cuss but I am also very angry by the cussing incident as I was asked to “not censor other people’s words” in regards to my gender identity and preferred pronouns and I really DISLIKE being angry.

Despite being depressed, angry as well as dealing with some intense PTSD symptoms I am looking forward to attending the University of Washington’s men’s basketball game this evening against Arizona State. As much as I wish I was going to attend a Seattle Storm game, I am looking forward to attending the Husky basketball game. It is something fun that I look forward to and it is something to create memories to look back on. Creating memories to look back on is key to my mental health recovery.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post but I do hope to be able to blog about the University of Washington men’s basketball game when I get home from it. I would like to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Overwhelmed = Star Wars Book

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have been working on my LGBTQ workbook and found myself getting overwhelmed. I am feeling overwhelmed because what I am working on is hitting close to home. Its hitting close to home because I haven’t admitted to myself a lot of things regarding my gender identity but I am learning how to do so.

Since I am feeling overwhelmed, I have decided to take a break from the workbook for a few hours and read. I am going to to read the Star Wars book I got yesterday (Sunday).  Sometime in recovery you need to realize it is okay to take a break every once in awhile to take a break. Especially when you are reading Star Wars.

Thank you for reading and Peace Out, World!!!!

The Importance of Respecting People’s Pronouns & Gender Identity

Posted on by Gertie

I’ve debated about writing this article because sadly it is still a controversial issue. A controversial issue that is one of many issues that is dividing this country apart. An issue that has been near and dear to me for decades yet never spoke up about it till I worked at a local mental health agency.

The topic I have chosen to write about is about respecting people’s pronouns and gender identity. This topic is quite important to me as I have never really identified as my perceived gender; female. I’ve considered myself to be genderqueer or non-binary or genderfluid and go by the pronouns they/them for quite some time yet never really corrected people for a multitude of reasons until recently.

It wasn’t until I got my first position at a local mental health agency when I realized the importance of respecting people’s pronouns and gender identity including my own. When I started working with clients who have felt disrespected by folks who didn’t respect their gender identity and/or the pronouns the individual goes by, I didn’t realize the impact it had on me when I advocated on their be behalf. It was in my job descriptions as a Consumer Aide and Peer Specialist to be an advocate for the clients I served.

Advocating for the clients I served regarding their pronouns and gender identity especially among a handful of my colleagues was not the easiest of things to do. It wasn’t easy to do at first because, I never really advocated for myself regarding my gender identity or preferred pronouns since the people closest to me already knew and respected this about me. So, when it became loud and clear to me in the first month of working in the mental health field that if it matters to the individuals I served, then it needs to matter to me as an individual who doesn’t go by societies gender norms. I’m not saying it didn’t matter to me before because it did however the Universe had used the clients I served on how important it is for me and my recovery as well as, the clients I use to serve.

As I came to terms with advocating for my clients and myself at work in the mental health field, I quickly realized that my own mental health treatment team didn’t know my preferred pronouns or that I identify as a genderfluid, non-binary, genderqueer individual. So, I decided if I am able to advocate for myself and my clients at work then I can advocate for myself with my treatment team. When I mentioned my gender identity and preferred pronouns, I found myself being on the receiving end of the advocacy I once did for my clients.

Why is it so important to respect people’s gender identity and preferred pronouns? Statistics show that 82% of transgender and non-conforming individuals don’t feel safe at work and/or school. The same stats show that 67% have been bullied online while 64% have had property destroyed. The effecting of being bullied especially regard gender identity are: six times more likely to be depressed; eight times more likely to attempt to die by suicide; and three times more likely to have a substance use disorder (SUD). To answer the question of why is it important to respect a person’s gender identity and pronouns is that it can literally safe someone’s life and is common courtesy to do so. It is also important that we respect each other as fellow human beings and that we value each other as individuals even if we don’t always get along.

Thank you for reading my lengthy article on respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity. The one thing I want you all to get out of this article is that gender identity plays a major role on who we are as individual’s as well as our mental health.

Stereotypes, Everyone Has Them

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have decided to do a post on stereotypes because lets face it; everyone has them. Stereotypes differ from person to person and one’s culture could play major role in how we stereotype others.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about this for a multitude of reasons. One of the reasons is I’ve seen multiple negative post about millennials on Facebook. Yes, I have seen some funny post posted by millennials yet the negative post I’ve seen have been posted by folks in my generation. I know that many folks in the generation before mine had their stereotypes of Generation Xers as being the “lazy generation.” I don’t know about being lazy but I do know this partly why folks in different generations to not respect those who of a different age.

Another stereotypes are race and ethnicity. For example some folks thinks all Asians are geniuses because they do well in school and in the business and technology aspects in life. While another stereotype which is unfortunately a negative one is that those who are Hispanic or Latino/Latina are illegal immigrants. Similar thing to African American people specifically males that they are all thugs or gang members. Or those who are in the LGBTQ community are all child molesters.  Having stereotypes toward folks is never a good thing as you are judging someone by the color of their skin.

Same thing goes towards people with disabilities and mental health conditions/challenges as individuals usually don’t act and/or learn the same way everyone else does. So what if this is true. Those of use with disabilities and/or mental health conditions tend to be more caring, loving, compassionate and empathetic than others.

Folks are stereotyped by there gender, religion, sexual orientation, race, education, and so on. So I ask that we put away are stereotypes of people and get to know them as a person. Thanks you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

 

Things I’m Learning From The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook; Chapter 1

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a long day for me. I started of the day having breakfast at place called Biscuit Bitch with former colleagues who I have become close friends with. Food and friends is always a good thing even if its at 7:30 in the morning. I, then went to Day Treatment today and saw my temporary therapist Gilbert. Todays session with Gilbert was more difficult than it usually is. I might talk about the session in a later post.

If you been reading my blogging regularly as of lately, you will know that I started a workbook called The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook by Anneliese Singh. I’m going to make every effort to tell you what I have learned after each chapter.

CHAPTER 1; GETTING REAL: DEFINING YOUR LGBTQ SELF IN A WOLD THAT DEMANDS COMFORMITY:

As the title of the chapter states, it has you define your LGBTQ self in the world around us. The chapter starts off asking how one identifies their sexual orientation and their gender identity. As it continues it starts asking about what you’re comfortable with sharing. This is the part where it started getting challenging for me as I think it depends on the situation I may be in.

Another part of chapter one that was difficult was searching within myself about affirmations I have toward myself and not just as an LGBTQ individual. This was difficult because I have very low self esteem and some if it is because of my gender identity and sexual orientation and some of it is not. Affirmations is something I need to work on and Gilbert agrees. He wants me to acknowledge that I have great affirmations and say them out loud.

Affirmations which I will say eventually. Maybe even after the end of this post. I should go and eat. Peace Out, World!!!

Love Wins In The United States; Same-Sex Marriage Now Legal in All 50 States

Posted on by Gertie

As many people in the United States (and around the world) are aware of by now, the United States Supreme Court ruled yesterday that same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. Yes, all 50 states. I, like many around the country shed tears of joy when I heard the joyous news.

I shed tears of joy because this means that many people are now able to marry the person of their dreams, just like I am able to do so. I may be madly in love with Junior and engaged to marry him, I consider myself pansexual. For those of you that don’t know what pansexual is, the definition is as follows: not limited in sexual choice with biological sex, gender or gender identity. Yes, Junior knows I’m pansexual and he is fine with it. For me falling in love with the person of my dreams has nothing to do with the persons gender, gender identity or sexual orientation, it has to do with the persons personality. I fell in love with Junior because of who he is on the inside. I am thrilled I am able to marry Junior and just as thrilled same-sex couples are able to marry now.

Unfortunately, many people aren’t exactly thrilled with the Supreme Court ruling. It seems that the people who aren’t thrilled with the ruling happen to be people of faith and not just any faith; Christianity. The reason I say this is because I’ve noticed that on many social media sites (including WordPress) that Christians were being out right hateful. For example, I had posted on my the Facebook account I have for my given name, that I was beyond thrilled that same-sex marriage is now legal. Many people who are Christians on that particular account started messaging, texting, calling and emailing me saying they were offended and that I was “going to hell” because I support “gay marriage.” I even had a handful of people block me. I’m fine with that because if they are going to get offended for something I support then I don’t need them in my life. I just cant comprehend why a particular religion that preaches love and compassion can be so hateful when it comes to people getting married to the person they love even if that person is the same gender as they are. I am trying so hard to not be so judgmental toward that particular faith because I know many kind-hearted Christians out there and some of them even support same-sex marriage.

The ruling of same-sex marriage couldn’t have come at better time. It’s not only came in Gay Pride Month but the biggest weekend for the LGBT community; pride weekend. Yesterday, was a historical moment in United States history. I am beyond happy that this happened in my lifetime. I am sure that there are going to be many people and various types of groups that are going to try to get this ruling overturned. No matter how hard people may try to get the ruling overturned its never going to happen. Too many people will fight just as hard if not harder to keep the ruling in place.

I need to get going. I am heading out to pride festivities before I go and volunteer at the Warm Line. I know that the pride festivities will be more giddy than they have been in previous years because of yesterdays ruling. I love going to pride festivities. I hope to be able to blog after I get home from pride events and volunteering. Have a good day everyone and stay safe. Peace out!!!!