Monthly Archives: October 2023

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mid-Week Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Wednesday evening in Seattle and today starts something to help me blog more on a regular basis; Mid-Week Updates. It is something I hope to do on a weekly basis on Wednesdays.

I started off the week by attending an online twelve step meeting. A meeting I am glad that I decided to do online twelve step meetings again as they are really helpful to my recovery. Plus, I enjoy them and it helps me with my social skills.

I went to the doctors for a follow from being discharged from the hospital. My medical doctor sent in five prescriptions to the pharmacy which includes an antibiotic for a bladder infection. The doctor also sent in paperwork into my job so I can go back to work.

I picked up a butt load of medicine yesterday for my mental health and physical health. It’s much needed meds and I am grateful for them. It sadly cost me seventy five dollars and some change.

My work is being very picky about me going back to work and it is frustrating the hell out of myself, my doctors and mental health team. On that note I have a good union rep.

Thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Making A HUGE Life Decision

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Once I am able to go back to work I will be putting in my thirty day notice at work. I love my job but I am getting a corrective action plan on an annual review that was done three and a half months early. Every time I asked my supervisor what I could work on and she only brought up one thing which I have slowly but surely improved on. I was even told I “was not the right fit for the job.” They could have gotten me canned during my sixth months of probationary time. I think they are doing all this due to a disability thing but that is okay. I am already looking for new jobs.

Thanks for listening.

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have had a sleepless in Seattle type of night and it sucks. It sucks that I haven’t been able to sleep very well as of the last week. I think the reason I could not sleep tonight was mainly due to insomnia and the anxiety related to PTSD I struggle with. The anxiety got so bad because of PTSD that I need to take some anti-anxiety meds.

Meds that helped me do some stuff to help get through the night. Stuff like attending an online twelve step meeting which I have been enjoying immensely. I am glad that this is a healthy and safe thing for me to do. It also gives me the structure I need.

I have also been doing some mindfulness meditation practices to help calm my mind down due to anxiety and severe PTSD symptoms. Mindfulness meditation practice that I do with the help of the Calm App. I find using mindfulness meditation helpful for most if not in all aspects of my life.

After doing mindfulness meditation practice I came to realize that doing some form of art work while listening to my recovery play list from Spotify would be a great idea. It was a great idea as I colored a giant post I bought from Stuff2Color.com. Stuff2Color has amazing things to color. Things that take time and detail which I appreciate.

Another thing I did was read as my cat, Billie, laid on my lap.The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. I love reading horror books any time of the year but I love to read them when it’s around Halloween especially when the weather is yucky like it is now here in Seattle.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Slightly Struggling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon!!! I am slightly struggling once again despite keeping myself busy. Busy with various things and activities that have been quite helpful this time around. I just wish I was not struggling at the moment as struggling sucks shit.

If you read my last post, you are then aware that I woke up way too freaking early. I am tired as hell and I am seriously thinking about taking a nap. A nap that might not be a good idea as it could prevent me from sleeping tonight which I really do want to sleep tonight.

As I mentioned above I have been keeping myself busy with various things. One of those things was having an unscheduled in person appointment with my therapist. The appointment went well. In fact I admire my therapist a great deal, for many reasons.

After seeing my therapist, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine. I picked up nine prescriptions. Four of those prescriptions are for psych reasons to help with my mental health diagnosis. The other five are for my physical health. One of those five meds is an antibiotic for a bladder which could be one of the reasons why I am slightly struggling.

There is also another reason why I am slightly struggling which is quite normal for me and many others living in Seattle this time of year is the weather. The weather is yucky at the moment but I have seen it much worse here in Seattle. Due to the weather being yucky today and yesterday, I have been using my happy light (or happy lamp) to help with my depression. I also have seasonal affective depressive disorder which is also known as SADD.

Another thing I have been doing to keep myself busy is attending online twelve step meetings. Twelve step meetings which I have found quite helpful for myself. I am so grateful that I started going back to these twelve step meetings.

I also have been doing a great deal of art work. Specifically, I have been coloring a small poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I love to buy coloring posters from Stuff2Color because they are very detailed and keep me busy for hours on end. While I colored, I listened to music on Spotify. I have had my recovery play list playing in the background to help me focus on my recovery.

One of the other things I have done to keep myself busy is read. I have been reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Right now I am on a horror book kick. Partly because it is Halloween time and partly because of the weather. As I read my cat, Billie, was laying in my lap. I love my cat so very much.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Rough Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a rough morning. A rough enough morning that I called my therapist who surprisingly answered her phone. She is able to squeeze me in for an in person appointment later this morning.

My therapist agrees with me that the lack of sleep and the current yucky weather that having a session today will be beneficial for me. I usually see my therapist every other week and it is done virtually so it will be nice to have an in person appointment with her today. My therapist is a sweetheart and works very hard to help me especially the last two and a half months after the recent trauma.

I don’t have much more to write in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

I Am Up Way Too Early

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle and I am up way too early. I think I am up too early due to insomnia. Having insomnia sucks majorly.

Since I am up too early and I am hungry, I am going to get me something to eat. I am pretty sure I am going to have leftovers. Left overs of pizza. I love me some leftover pizza.

After eating me some leftover pizza I plan on doing some art. The type of art I plan on doing is coloring. As I color, I plan on listening to music. As of right now I have no clue what genre of music I will be listening to. Of course my cat, Billie, will be near by to “help” me with the coloring I plan on doing later.

I do not have much else to write about for this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Semi-Rough Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I had a semi-rough night last night. The building fire alarm kept going off multiple times due to it malfunctioning. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. Sadly, the fire alarm going off multiple times caused my PTSD symptoms to act up as I was in two fires when I was a kid.

Since I didn’t sleep much I decided to keep myself busy. Busy with a multitude of things. Things such as attending an online twelve step meeting. Attending these twelve step meetings, I have found it very beneficial for me.

I also read. I specifically read a book on Tarot Cards. I am reading about Tarot Cards because I want to learn more about them so I can learn more about myself. I want to learn more about myself so I can be more self aware.

Another thing I did was art work. The type of art work I did was to color. I colored a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com as I listened to music. I listened primarily emo music.

The most important thing I did last night was cuddle with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to write about. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Plain Ole Frustrated

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am frustrated at the moment because the building fire alarm system in my apartment building keeps going off due to some sort of malfunction. It has gone off 4 times in a matter of a three hour period. When the fire alarm goes off it triggers my PTSD due to being in two fires when I was just a kid.

Since I have been unable to sleep I have decided to try to keep myself busy. I attended an online twelve step meeting. Surprisingly, the fire alarm did not go off when I attended this particular twelve step meeting. I am really enjoying the twelve step meetings and I hope I continue to make time for myself to attend.

I have also decided to color to help keep myself busy. I am coloring a giant poster that I bought at Stuff2Color.com I really love to color for a multitude of reasons. One reason I enjoy to color is it is a self soothing practice for me. Another reason why I enjoy to color is it helps my inner child.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling a Little Bit Down

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realized that I am currently feeling a little bit down. I realized as I was doing a mindfulness meditation practice on the Calm App as my cat, Billie, laid on my lap. It appears that my depression is currently acting up and it is challenging to deal with. I know it will lift, eventually and not as quickly as I would like.

I don’t have much more to say. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am feeling slightly down. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!