Tag Archives: Books

Insomnia Strikes Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is a few minutes after two o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep again due to insomnia. I am not a big fan of not being able to sleep as getting a good night’s sleep is crucial both physical health and mental health.

Speaking of mental health, since I am unable to sleep, I have been working on a recovery related workbook. I find that working on recovery related workbooks help me with my recovery and allows me to look inward on how I can improve myself and lessen the symptoms of my mental health challenges. The recovery related workbooks also helps me in between session with my therapist.

In addition to working on recovery related workbooks, I have been reading. I am reading the second book in a dark queer fantasy series. I am really enjoying the book as well as the series. Reading helps me get out of my head and is a way for me to focus on something other than my current problems.

I do not have much more to discuss or write about in this particular except that I am going to curl up with my cat, Billie and read. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; How Do You Relax?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
How do you relax?
View all responses

There are many ways that I relax. One of the ways that I have relaxed since I was a child is the water. I spent the first sixteen years of my life in California and there was not a week that I didn’t go to the beach at least once. Now that I live in Seattle, I go to various lakes as well as various places to access the Puget Sound. One of those things is taking the one hour ferry ride from Seattle to Bremerton. The water is so peaceful and relaxing. I go to the water at least once a week.

Another way I relax is by doing some artwork. I usually do art by coloring or diamond art/painting. I do paint rock on the occasional basis. I really like doing artwork as a way to relax and to be creative.

Another way I relax is music. I love listening to it as loud as my neighbors can tolerate when it is not quiet hours. I also love playing music on my flute even though I suck at it. It truly helps me relax.

Last but not least cats help me relax. That is one of the reasons why I volunteer with cats. Hell, that is why I have my cat, Billie. He helps me relax and I love him so very much. Anyone who has pets of any kind knows how relaxing they are. I love how Billie helps me relax.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Attend an in person 12 step meeting
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Go to the DSHS office
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Attend a second online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Appointment with my employment specialist
  • Appointment with my peer specialist
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Appointment with psychiatric nurse practitioner
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project
  • Attend a second online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Go to the movies with my partner
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Go to the U-District Farmers Market
  • Attend an online virtual 12 step meeting
  • Go to the movies (again) with my partner
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)

Family Drama + Middle of Night + PTSD + Insomnia = Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Sadly, more family drama has been occurring and this time in the middle of the night. My aunt is upset with me at the moment due to the fact that I will now no longer be paying for her train ticket to go my mom’s funeral at the end of this month. I asked multiple times via phone calls and text messages and she made it clear to me that she “doesn’t need help paying for a stupid train ticket.” So, when I bought mine, I didn’t buy hers. My aunt has been calling me and my other aunt who lives in Texas all night. My aunt in Texas is on my side due to the fact that I offered multiple times and was told “no” multiple times. My aunt in Texas is extremely angry with my other aunt because of being woken up multiple times. In fact my aunt in Texas blocked my other aunt so she could get some sleep. In fact I took my aunt who lives in Texas lead and blocked my other aunt as well. Sadly, my angry aunt called my two uncles and sadly got them involved. One uncle is on my side while the other uncle is upset but thinks I should pay for my aunts train ticket to “keep the peace” even though my aunt has said “no” multiple times but understands why I am not. Sadly, my uncles have now blocked my aunt so they can get some sleep.

Even though I blocked this aunt I am not able to get back to sleep due to insomnia and an increase of PTSD symptoms due to the family drama. Since I am unable to sleep I am cuddling with my cat, Billie. As I cuddle with my cat, Billie, I am reading an awesome book. The book I am reading is Sacrifice by Nikole Knight. Sacrifice is book two in the Fire and Brimstone series by Nikole Knight. I am really enjoying the book. In fact cuddling with my cat, Billie, and reading has been helping with the PTSD symptoms.

I do not have anything else to write about or even to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you my reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Attend a hybrid 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails.
  • Attend a second online 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Attend an online orientation to volunteer at the Seattle Aquarium
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Appointment with my therapist
  • Lunch with my partner and some close friends at Red Robin
  • Attend a second online 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Dinner with my partner at Red Robin
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning Walk
  • U-District Farmer Market with one of my closest friends
  • Attend an online 12 step meeting
  • Lunch with a high school friend at Red Robin
  • Attend a second online 12 step meeting
  • Work on a recovery related workbook
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art/painting)

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer a double shift at PAWS Cat City
  • Read
  • Art (diamond art/painting)

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Read
  • Art (diamond art/painting)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Read
  • Art
  • Christmas Eve service with friends
  • Christmas Eve dinner with friends
  • Watch Christmas movies

Wednesday

  • Christmas Midnight Mass
  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Christmas breakfast by myself
  • Go watch the movie Mufasa; The Lion King
  • Christmas Dinner by myself
  • Read
  • Watch Christmas movies

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Read
  • Art (diamond art/painting)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Read
  • Art (diamond art/painting)

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Go to the U-District farmers market
  • Read
  • Art (diamond art/painting)
  • Watch movies

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening and time to do my weekly check-in. Or at least I am starting my weekly check-in back up with you the reader. Before I do my check-in I want to say Blessed Yule and Happy Solstice. Today is the first day of winter and the shortest day of the year. I am looking forward to tomorrow as it starts being lighter longer. Granted only by a minute or two but I am so looking forward to more light.

This past week has not been the easiest of weeks for me. My depression and Complex-PTSD (C-PTSD) have been acting up so badly that I have been dissociating and isolating. Neither which are good for me or anyone for that matter. To add to the depression and PTSD, I am dealing with grief of my mom’s death on Tuesday, November 26th which was two days before Thanksgiving. Sadly, Christmas Day of this year is one day before the one month mark of my mom’s death. I miss her so very much.

Since I have been isolating this past week, I have been hanging out at home with my beloved senior kitty, Billie. Billie has been helping me so much with dissociation and not doing it. I am so grateful for my cat as he has a calming affect on me and helps me keep my head on straight.

Despite being in a dissociated state for most of the week, I do remember watching a lot of movies. Specifically, I have been watching a lot of Christmas and holiday related movies. I watch Christmas movies that are nostalgic to me and many other people in the world.

Besides watching Christmas and holiday related movies, I have been reading. I specifically have been reading a Christmas book. In fact, I read a Christmas book every holiday season. It is a holiday tradition for me and I really look forward to it every year.

I do not have anything else to check-in or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Struggling In Seattle – Missing My Mom

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am currently struggling with the death of my mom. Tomorrow (Tuesday) makes three weeks since my mom died. It has been a very challenging three weeks as the holiday season is in full force and my mom loved Christmas more than anything. I know this might be the hardest holiday season for me as it is just too close to my mom’s favorite holiday is Christmas. I also wonder if next year’s holiday season will be hard as I would have more time to grief. At this point in time I don’t know if this Christmas will be harder than next year but I will do my best to learn ways to cope with the grief of my mom’s death for next Christmas.

The one way I can cope in this is to cuddle up with my cat, Billie and read. The two books that I am reading are Twelve Days of Christmas Horror Volume 1 by Rick Wood as well as Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith. I have only read a couple of chapters from each book but have not enough figures which one I will like best. Now I should cuddle with my cat and read a holiday book I just told you about.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular post. I do want thank my readers for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you readers read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Dinner at Red Robin with friends
  • Do artwork (diamond art/painting)
  • Read

Monday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Clean apartment
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning calls and emails
  • Do artwork (diamond art/paint)
  • Read

Tuesday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with partner
  • Appointment with peer specialist
  • Do artwork (diamond art/painting)
  • Read

Wednesday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning phone calls and emails
  • Dinner with friends at Red Robin
  • Do artwork (diamond art/painting)
  • Read

Thursday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Holiday lunch at Emerald House (a mental health club house)
  • Do artwork (diamond art/painting)
  • Read

Friday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer with Alley Cat Project by returning phone calls and emails
  • Dinner with friends at Red Robin
  • Do artwork (diamond art/painting)
  • Read

Saturday

  • Mindful meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Brunch with partner
  • Artwork (diamond art/painting)
  • Read

Being Sleepless In Seattle Sucks Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep due to insomnia and PTSD. It is more insomnia that is keeping me awake than PTSD which in a way I am grateful for as PTSD sucks.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been doing a diamond art/painting piece as I listen to holiday music. Specifically, I have been listening to Christmas music. The diamond art that I am currently working on is of a Buddha statue with the words “Let That Shit Go.” I chose this particular diamond art/painting as I finished my Christmas diamond art/painting and I figure that it is the end of the year and the New Year almost here that I need to focus on what shit I need to let go and what shit I need to work on. I hope that once I am finished with this particular diamond art/painting that I will put up somewhere in my apartment to where it will be a part of my meditation practice area. I am really enjoying doing diamond art/painting especially as I listen to music.

Another thing I have been doing is cuddling with my cat, Billie as I read a Christmas book. The book I am reading is called Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith. I am enjoying the book greatly. I am not quite a quarter of the way through the book and I hope I finish it by Christmas. If I’m not then that is okay with me. I really enjoy reading especially when I am cuddling with my cat, Billie.

I do not have anything else that I want to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!