Tag Archives: Mental Illness

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have had a sleepless in Seattle type of night and it sucks. It sucks that I haven’t been able to sleep very well as of the last week. I think the reason I could not sleep tonight was mainly due to insomnia and the anxiety related to PTSD I struggle with. The anxiety got so bad because of PTSD that I need to take some anti-anxiety meds.

Meds that helped me do some stuff to help get through the night. Stuff like attending an online twelve step meeting which I have been enjoying immensely. I am glad that this is a healthy and safe thing for me to do. It also gives me the structure I need.

I have also been doing some mindfulness meditation practices to help calm my mind down due to anxiety and severe PTSD symptoms. Mindfulness meditation practice that I do with the help of the Calm App. I find using mindfulness meditation helpful for most if not in all aspects of my life.

After doing mindfulness meditation practice I came to realize that doing some form of art work while listening to my recovery play list from Spotify would be a great idea. It was a great idea as I colored a giant post I bought from Stuff2Color.com. Stuff2Color has amazing things to color. Things that take time and detail which I appreciate.

Another thing I did was read as my cat, Billie, laid on my lap.The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. I love reading horror books any time of the year but I love to read them when it’s around Halloween especially when the weather is yucky like it is now here in Seattle.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Slightly Struggling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon!!! I am slightly struggling once again despite keeping myself busy. Busy with various things and activities that have been quite helpful this time around. I just wish I was not struggling at the moment as struggling sucks shit.

If you read my last post, you are then aware that I woke up way too freaking early. I am tired as hell and I am seriously thinking about taking a nap. A nap that might not be a good idea as it could prevent me from sleeping tonight which I really do want to sleep tonight.

As I mentioned above I have been keeping myself busy with various things. One of those things was having an unscheduled in person appointment with my therapist. The appointment went well. In fact I admire my therapist a great deal, for many reasons.

After seeing my therapist, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine. I picked up nine prescriptions. Four of those prescriptions are for psych reasons to help with my mental health diagnosis. The other five are for my physical health. One of those five meds is an antibiotic for a bladder which could be one of the reasons why I am slightly struggling.

There is also another reason why I am slightly struggling which is quite normal for me and many others living in Seattle this time of year is the weather. The weather is yucky at the moment but I have seen it much worse here in Seattle. Due to the weather being yucky today and yesterday, I have been using my happy light (or happy lamp) to help with my depression. I also have seasonal affective depressive disorder which is also known as SADD.

Another thing I have been doing to keep myself busy is attending online twelve step meetings. Twelve step meetings which I have found quite helpful for myself. I am so grateful that I started going back to these twelve step meetings.

I also have been doing a great deal of art work. Specifically, I have been coloring a small poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I love to buy coloring posters from Stuff2Color because they are very detailed and keep me busy for hours on end. While I colored, I listened to music on Spotify. I have had my recovery play list playing in the background to help me focus on my recovery.

One of the other things I have done to keep myself busy is read. I have been reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Right now I am on a horror book kick. Partly because it is Halloween time and partly because of the weather. As I read my cat, Billie, was laying in my lap. I love my cat so very much.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Rough Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a rough morning. A rough enough morning that I called my therapist who surprisingly answered her phone. She is able to squeeze me in for an in person appointment later this morning.

My therapist agrees with me that the lack of sleep and the current yucky weather that having a session today will be beneficial for me. I usually see my therapist every other week and it is done virtually so it will be nice to have an in person appointment with her today. My therapist is a sweetheart and works very hard to help me especially the last two and a half months after the recent trauma.

I don’t have much more to write in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

I Am Up Way Too Early

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle and I am up way too early. I think I am up too early due to insomnia. Having insomnia sucks majorly.

Since I am up too early and I am hungry, I am going to get me something to eat. I am pretty sure I am going to have leftovers. Left overs of pizza. I love me some leftover pizza.

After eating me some leftover pizza I plan on doing some art. The type of art I plan on doing is coloring. As I color, I plan on listening to music. As of right now I have no clue what genre of music I will be listening to. Of course my cat, Billie, will be near by to “help” me with the coloring I plan on doing later.

I do not have much else to write about for this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Semi-Rough Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I had a semi-rough night last night. The building fire alarm kept going off multiple times due to it malfunctioning. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. Sadly, the fire alarm going off multiple times caused my PTSD symptoms to act up as I was in two fires when I was a kid.

Since I didn’t sleep much I decided to keep myself busy. Busy with a multitude of things. Things such as attending an online twelve step meeting. Attending these twelve step meetings, I have found it very beneficial for me.

I also read. I specifically read a book on Tarot Cards. I am reading about Tarot Cards because I want to learn more about them so I can learn more about myself. I want to learn more about myself so I can be more self aware.

Another thing I did was art work. The type of art work I did was to color. I colored a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com as I listened to music. I listened primarily emo music.

The most important thing I did last night was cuddle with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to write about. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Plain Ole Frustrated

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am frustrated at the moment because the building fire alarm system in my apartment building keeps going off due to some sort of malfunction. It has gone off 4 times in a matter of a three hour period. When the fire alarm goes off it triggers my PTSD due to being in two fires when I was just a kid.

Since I have been unable to sleep I have decided to try to keep myself busy. I attended an online twelve step meeting. Surprisingly, the fire alarm did not go off when I attended this particular twelve step meeting. I am really enjoying the twelve step meetings and I hope I continue to make time for myself to attend.

I have also decided to color to help keep myself busy. I am coloring a giant poster that I bought at Stuff2Color.com I really love to color for a multitude of reasons. One reason I enjoy to color is it is a self soothing practice for me. Another reason why I enjoy to color is it helps my inner child.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling a Little Bit Down

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realized that I am currently feeling a little bit down. I realized as I was doing a mindfulness meditation practice on the Calm App as my cat, Billie, laid on my lap. It appears that my depression is currently acting up and it is challenging to deal with. I know it will lift, eventually and not as quickly as I would like.

I don’t have much more to say. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am feeling slightly down. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Lunch with a friend
  • Read
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art)

Monday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Breakfast with my grandpa
  • Art (coloring and/or diamond art)
  • Read
  • Doctor’s appointment
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Hang out at a mental health clubhouse
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or diamond art)
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Attend an in person 12-step meeting
  • Art (color and/or diamond art)
  • Read
  • Dinner with a colleague
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or diamond art)
  • Attend an in person 12-step meeting

Friday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Hang out at a mental health clubhouse
  • Clean apartment
  • Art (color and/or diamond art)
  • Read
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting

Saturday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Go to the Farmers Market for a Breakfast Sandwich
  • Attend an in person 12-step meeting
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or diamond art)
  • Attend an online 12-step meeting

No Sleep = Online 12-Step Meetings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again so it is another sleepless in Seattle type of night. It is just after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle so there isn’t much to do right now but sleep but I can’t.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been attending online twelve step meetings to help with what is keeping me up. PTSD sucks but at least I have online twelve step meetings to attend. The cool thing about online meetings is my cat, Billie, showing his cute face.

I don’t have anything else to say except thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Working on My Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am realizing that my recent trauma is causing a lot of shit to happen in my life and I am allowing some of it to happen. Some of the shit I can control while some of it I cannot. The things I can control, I hope will help with the things I cannot control.

One of the things that I have come to the conclusion of is attending a twelve step meeting that focuses on how I react and nurture myself coming from a dysfunctional family that is full of alcoholics. The particular meeting I am attending focuses on what I can do to nurture myself as well as how I react to my dysfunctional family. As anyone who is in a 12-step program is aware of, is that attending ninety meetings in ninety days is highly suggested as well as having a “home group” to attend.

Attending therapy regularly for me is a major part of my recovery. Talk therapy helps me a great deal as does other types of therapies such as DBT, CBT and Motivational Interviewing (MI). I think my therapist does a lot of Motivational Interviewing with me as well as some DBT.

Of course working on workbooks is helpful for me when it comes to my recovery. There so many different workbooks out there that are helpful. One that I am working on now focuses on mental health recovery.

One thing that also helps me is taking medicine for my anxiety, depression and PTSD. If I didn’t take meds it would make everything else I do for my recovery much more challenging to do but it is also not the only thing.

As I have mentioned in a previous post doing at least two mindfulness meditations a day helps a great deal. It helps me start and end my day with a mostly clear mind. It also helps a great deal with my anxiety.

Acupuncture helps my depression and anxiety a lot as well as helps with physical health issues.

Lets not forget my cat Billie helps. He is extremely helpful.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this blog post. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!