My Meds Aren’t Working

Good Morning, Word!!! My medication is not working. Friend and family are saying that it appear that I am on drugs when I am not on drugs. MY meds aren’t working like they are suppose to. My friends and family think I am using drugs when in reality my meds are not working properly. The last thing I want is people thinking I am on drugs.

On that note, I let my doctor, therapist and psychiatrist know vie email and phone call. I know that is a bit much but I just wanted to make sure they were made aware of it. Plus my meds are making me funny and they should know about that. I hope they get back to me soon.

Television Not Working; Time to Read

Good Afternoon, World!!! My television stopped working and not sure why. That means I get to catch up on some reading. I’m hoping my uncle or grandpa can help me with my television as I like to watch the news. I like to know what is going on in the world.

Granted the news can cause some anxiety but I like to know what is going on in the world. Despite the news being depressing, I think I will read a book. I have two choose books to choose from and i think I am going to read the singleton book ss the the other three books are a serious of books.

Another think I am going to to do is listen to a podcast about philosophy. I learn a great deal from philosophy. I listen to it by podcast. I’m glad I’m learning stuff about different subjects.

I think I need to go now. i am getting tired from my med. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!

Middle of the Night Munchies

Good Morning, World!!! It is two nineteen in the morning here is Seattle with my cat Billie laying next me. Honestly, I have the munchies and took too many of two my meds. I took too many to NOT die by suicided but lessen the pain I feel for my client who took their own life. I took the Xanax and Ambien numb myself and hopefully get sleep. Sadly, I can’t sleep and I have a big day ahead of me.

I got the munchies from the meds. I’m eating Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream as well as some cheese ball ship stuff and Cherry Pepsi. As I a eating I a listening to some music. In fact I feel high with the amount of med I took. No I am NOT suicidal, I jus need to numb myself.

After eating, I will continue to is to music with my cat, Billie by my side as well as do some art. Not sure what type of art but some form of it.

I don’t have a lot more to say expect I’m going to miss my client died by suicide. Thank you all for being there for me and I promise you I won’t do any harm to myself. Peace Out, World!!!!

Sound Asleep & Woke Up With an Asthma Attack

Good Very Early, Morning, World!!! I am not a happy camper right now. I was sound asleep and woke of from an asthma attack. Someone or maybe multiples someone’s are smoking in their individuals are smoking in their apartments which is creeping into the hallway and into other apartments. Apartments of those who don’t smoke cigarettes and/or weed. I don’t smoke cigarettes nor do I smoke weed due allergies of the cigarette smoke and it causing me asthma attacks like the pot smoke does.

It is against the lease to smoke in our units and inside common areas and the community patio. Sadly, the management can’t do anything about because there needs to be witnesses and/or proof which fucking sucks. You need to be breathing and alive to be able to pay rent and if a resident dies due to asthma attack from the cigarette and/or pot smoke then the family has everyone right to sue the management company for not doing shite about it. Thankfully my emergency inhaler worked.

I don’t have much more to say this blog post. I am tired has hell. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Have good Saturday ahead of you all even if it’s 3:38 in morning or at least it is in Seattle. Peace Out, World!!!

Taking A Sick Day From Work

Good Morning, World!!! I am taking a sick day from work today. I am taking it off today because one of my disabilities is sadly acting up. I did let my supervisor know via text to her cell phone as well as an email to her work email and a voicemail to her office phone. I just wanted to make sure I covered my ass even though my supervisor is beyond awesome. I admire my supervisor and how well she works with clients. I also did let Human Resources (HR) know that I am out due to my disability. I let HR know it was disability related to also cover my ass. I do plan on letting my supervisor know tomorrow when I am in the office that I was out due to my disability. I do not fear getting fired for calling out sick especially when it comes to my disability. I don’t tell my supervisor the full story about being out due to disability because I don’t want to put her in an awkward situation if people ask her why. My direct supervisor and the HR director are both amazing people.

Since I am taking care of my health today by taking care of my disability, I still plan on doing some reading for work. Both of the books that I am reading help me both professionally and personally. I am really enjoying the books and have started another blog post about these books and how they intersect with my professional and personal life.

The one thing I did do was go to the pharmacy to pick up my medication. Picking up my meds was extremely important because they help with my health issues as well as with my disabilities. So, I am happy that I got my meds.

Since I am hope sick from work I not only will be spending it reading the books I mentioned earlier in this blog post, I am spending the day with my cat, Billie Dean without any interruption. I love my cat so very much. The weather here in Seattle today makes it easy to spend it reading as I hang out with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not wanting to be a Cranky Bucket at Work

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep again. I don’t think not going into work isn’t an option at the moment as the clients I have today are struggling with some minor crisis. I need to find someway to get somewhat of a better night of sleep.

One of those ways is to take a sleeping pill but sadly it makes me groggy but at least the grogginess at least goes away with time but not quick enough. I really don’t want to be a cranky bucket at work. I also don’t want to call in sick due to the lack of sleep. I really love my job. My job means the world to me.

On the plus note at least my cat has been extra lovely Dovey with me. Billie Dean is an amazing cat and I love him so much. I may have rescued him but I think he was and is the one doing the rescuing of me. Billie is really a great lap cat and helps me not be a cranky bucket when I have to start work at eight in the morning Seattle time.

I am thinking I might have to take a my sleeping meds so I can get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket at work. I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader for reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart from reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Little Buzzed

Hello, World!!! I’m a little buzzed from drinking some alcohol. I normally don’t drink but thought I would have a couple tonight. I don’t like the feeling of being buzzed. Alcohol and my meds usually don’t mix so I’m not sure if I will take them tonight as I don’t want to cause any problems.

Some people would say drinking alcohol during a painful time in my life is not wise and they would be correct. I realize this as I choose to not drink but on an occasional basis. I’m not drinking to make the pain go away or to escape it. I just thought I would enjoy some Irish Cream in my hot chocolate.

I miss my grandma and want to make her proud. I’m not sure how to do that right now but I want to make her proud of me.

Thank you for reading.

Is It Too Much To Ask That I Get Some Sleep?

Good Morning, World!!! I’m finding myself not being able to sleep once again. Its not like that I don’t have a regular sleep hygiene plan I do ninety percent of the time. Before, I go on let me give you the definition of sleep hygiene: Sleep hygiene is a variety of different practices and habits that are necessary to have good nighttime sleep quality and full daytime alertness.

I do have multiple practices and habits that I do a good portion of the time. Yes, I do need to do some things differently however for the most part my sleep hygiene plan works despite having “treatment resistant insomnia.” Not sure what exactly that means but I know that part of my nighttime ritual is to take sleep meds every other night. In fact my sleep hygiene schedule is (all times are Pacific Time):

9pm: Read a book or comic book,

10pm: Color and/or jigsaw puzzle while listening to music.

11pm: Eleven O’clock news.

11:30pm: Meds

11:35pm: The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

12:30am: Meditation/Mindfulness practice

12:45am: Lights out and bed time.

7am: Out of bed no later than seven o’clock in the morning except weekends then its eight o’clock in the morning, no matter what. This is to help with good sleep habits.

Despite not having very good sleep that last few days I haven’t taken a nap. That’s another important part of having a good sleep hygiene plan is to try and not take naps. If you do limit the length of the nap and try to not make it late in the day. I’m pretty good at not taking naps. Another key part to good sleep hygiene is to go to bed at the same time at night and get up at the same time in morning. I have found this quite helpful. The thing I need to work on is to lessen the about of caffeine and sugar I have before bed as this can be a hindrance to getting a good night sleep.

Of course my PTSD nightmares don’t help with me not sleep through the night however that’s why I take meds for nightmares. The meds for nightmares appear to be helping.

I should really get going and try to get back to sleep. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s A Beautiful Sunny Wednesday!!!

     It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. So beautiful that my boyfriend and I went rollerblading around a lake. In fact the lake is a local park. We went around the lake twice and each time is 3.3 miles so that equals 6.6 miles. All I can say is that I got my exercise in today. We also had a picnic at this park. We had fried chicken, macaroni salad and lemonade. It was all very tasty. All I know is I am tired now. I’ve had a busy day.

     I started out the day by going to see my shrink. My shrink in not a psychiatrist, he is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. I discussed with him about the increased PTSD symptoms due to the 5 year anniversary of a trauma and how it triggered eating disorder urges and self harm urges. He of coursed asked if I acted on any of those urges and I said no because I didn’t act on those urges. He has a good since of humor and I like that. I’ve only been working with him for a little of a year when my last psychiatric nurse practitioner retired. I had worked with her for 7 years and grew to trust her. I specifically asked my therapist for a male prescriber because I usually only work with women when it comes to doctors and mental health stuff due to my trauma history. Diana my therapist was happy to oblige to my request and new who to suggest and thankfully he had room for another client. Anyway my shrink and I discussed if we needed to change meds or if a med increase needed to happen and thankfully he agreed with me that neither needed to happen. Like I said my shrink has a great sense of humor and it turns out that we have a similar sense of humor.

    After I saw my shrink I went to my volunteer job. I love my volunteer job. Like I’ve said in previous blog post, I volunteer at local homeless shelter that specializes in Mental Illness and Co-Occurring Disorders. The clients there are always so appreciative of everything they get. Well most of the clients are. I enjoy my volunteer job.

   When I get back from my volunteer job that’s when my boyfriend and I went and had our picnic in the park and rollerbladed around the lake in the park twice. We got back to his place in time to watch the news. The big topic is still the legalization of being able to sell pot in my state. It became legal yesterday. In fact it even made NBC’s Nightly news  again tonight. That makes two nights in a row. I just want them to not make a big deal about it. I just don’t care. I don’t smoke the crap but that’s me.

    Anyway my boyfriend is finding it difficult to pick out a movie to watch. I’m thinking I might just pick one out before his head explodes. I’m thinking a comedy is in order. I love comedies.

    I should get going because my boyfriend and I want to watch a movie. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. Enjoy the nice warm weather everyone. Peace out and don’t get sun burned.