Tag Archives: Reading

Fighting My Way Through A Depressive Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am feeling very depressed at the moment. I really don’t like being depressed and I wish it would just go away. I know my depression will not go away especially this time of year when it usually gets worse due to the days getting shorter and the weather getting yuckier.

As depressed as I am, I am grateful that I am not suicidal. I am doing my various skills be to prevent myself from getting suicidal as being suicidal is no fund for anyone involved. One way I will help myself through this depressive moment is to do some artwork through coloring. I am coloring a couple of gigantic posters I bought from Stuff2Color.

Another way I am helping myself is reading while Billie, my cat, lays on my lap. I am in the middle of reading two different books. The one I am reading is Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter, by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far I am enjoying the book. I love reading especially when my cat is on my lap.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Two Nights In a Row of Good Nights Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five o’clock in the morning and I had my second night of good sleep in a row. I am so happy to have one night of good sleep however I am beyond thrilled to have two nights in a row of a good nights sleep.

I am pretty sure that mindfulness meditation practices I do at least twice daily are helping me with my sleep. The mindfulness meditation practice has ultimately been helping my sleep as well as with my recovery with the mental health challenges I deal with on a daily basis.

Mindfulness meditation practice even helps me at work. In fact the Calm App has some mindfulness meditation practices that focus on work. Mindfulness practice helps me focus at work and even though I will be getting a corrective action plan (CAP) at some point my supervisor as well as the team lead both of informed me that since starting mindfulness meditation practice started back my “focus has gotten better.” I am glad they noticed.

Speaking of work I need to get ready for work. For me getting ready for work consists of a shower, getting dressed, eating some sort of breakfast, reading the newspaper as I drink a nice cup of hot tea and cuddling with my cat. I am a person who needs some form of routine in the morning to be able to function the rest of the day.

One of those routines in the morning is when I am on my way to work. I take public transportation and when I go to work, I like to read. I carry two to three books with me in my backpack so I can have a choice on what to read. Reading on the way to work helps me relax and not worry about what the day will bring me which includes the clients I have on my caseload that might be in crisis.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a day at work. In fact I am still technically working but I am finishing up some work at home. I am grateful to be finishing up my day at home doing not so fun paperwork. I just want to update you on my corrective action plan (CAP). I did not have the meeting today due to my union representative not being able to attend. I am sad it didn’t happen because I just want it done and over with. I am thankful it didn’t happen because it was my first day back from my second medical leave after the recent trauma I experienced.

The weather today here in Seattle is typical weather for the time of year which is yucky. The weather being yucky means making sure I have an extra pair of shoes and some extra socks with me. The reason being is my shoes tend to get soaking wet especially since my job requires me to do most of my work outreaching clients and I take public transportation.

After I am done doing work paperwork from home, I am going to continue cuddling with my cat, Billie and read. I am going to first read and work on the first step of the twelve step program I am in. I am then going to read Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. I am also reading another book but I am putting that one on hold for the moment.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Noon Time Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, Word!!! I am worried about going back to work tomorrow. One of the reasons is because I will be turning in my resignation as my job is not the right fit for me at the moment even though I love my job. Another reason is because I will be receiving a corrective action plan (CAP) on a couple of things that revolve around my annual review that was done three and half months early. Normally, I would just own up to whatever the CAP is about but I have been asking every time, I have supervision what I can work on and didn’t really receive feedback with the exception of my issues with adaptability. I am not going to argue about my issues with adaptability as this is something I have had issues with since I was a kid due to a disability.

Since I am so worried about work tomorrow, I have been attempting to distract myself from this particular worry. I have been doing some artwork. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring as I listen to music. It seems like that listening to music as I color is quite soothing for me.

Not only have I been coloring as I listen to music, I have been reading. I am reading a horror book as it is one of my favorite genres as well as it being Halloween time. I am reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. So far I am enjoying the book.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Dinner with my family

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Breakfast with grandpa
  • Work
  • Read

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Meeting with sponsor
  • Read
  • Work on workbook (TBD)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Read

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle times
  • Go to the U-District Farmers Market with friends
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Read
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Lunch with friends
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1

Too Awake to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am way too wake to sleep or as other people would say, I am wide awake. I am wide awake partly because of insomnia and the other reason is because I ended up taking a late nap that lasted about three hours. Yes, I have attempted to sleep but I am unable to.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have been keeping myself busy. I have attended two online twelve step meetings. Ironically, both meetings focused on step one. I say ironically because my sponsor and I started doing step work together and I am working on step one. I really enjoy attending the twelve step meetings as they are quite helpful for me and my recovery.

Attending online twelve step meetings and working on step is not the only way I have been working on my recovery. The other way I have been working on my recovery is doing recovery based and skills based workbooks. Doing workbooks helps me build upon the skills I already have and reinforce the skills that I already have.

I have also done other stuff besides recovery focused stuff. One thing I have been doing is reading. I am currently reading two books but the book I have been reading tonight is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Since it was Friday the 13th and Halloween is coming up, I decided to read a horror book. I am really enjoying Pet Cemetery.

Not only have I been reading but I have been doing some artwork. The type of artwork I have been doing is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and I am coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. As I colored I listened to some music. I listened to my childhood playlist. My childhood play list consist of music that I listened to that brings back happy memories.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

fRiDaY tHe 13tH

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday the 13th, World!!! It is only nine in the morning here in Seattle and I am already feeling accomplished with my day. Accomplished because I have already done so much already today and it is not even close to twelve noon yet.

I am feeling accomplished because I started out the day doing a mindfulness meditation via the Calm App. Doing a daily mindfulness meditation practice is quite helpful for me. In fact I start everyday with one and I end everyday with one. Sometimes I even do more to help get my head in a better space.

After my mindfulness meditation practice, I read the newspaper. The newspaper I read is the Seattle Times which is a local newspaper to Seattle. Sadly, there isn’t much good news to report and I wish there was some good news to report.

When I was done reading the news paper, I attended two online twelve step meetings. Yes, you read right, two twelve step meetings. Twelve step meetings that I find helpful for me and my own recovery.

Speaking of the twelve steps I am doing some step work. I am working on step one. The twelve step program I am has a twelve step workbook you can work with alongside your sponsor. The twelve step program suggests that the sponsors have done all the steps themselves at least once before becoming a sponsor. In fact that is one requirement I have as sponsee is that my sponsor had done the twelve steps at least once and has been in recovery at least a year. In fact my sponsor informed me that she would like me to take the steps at my own pace which I like but I have to work on it most days of the week.

Now lets talk about what today is. As you the reader already knows; today is Friday the 13th. Some people think that today is bad luck I am not sure why people think Friday the 13th as there are so many theories that it is just way too hard to figure out the “most popular” theory.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I sadly woke up from a stupid nightmare and wish the PTSD would just go away. I realize that sadly, the nightmares and the rest of PTSD symptoms will not go away.

Since I woke up from a stupid nightmare, I have decided to read. I am going to read because it is a great distraction and I love to read. Plus, when I read, my cat, Billie, lays on my lap. So, I get the unconditional love of my cat laying on my lap as I read.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I don’t know how to feel right now. Depression is hitting me hard tonight but at least I got some sleep in earlier. Even though I only got about four hours of sleep I am grateful for the much needed sleep as I was tired. Hell, I am still tired which is why I am probably slightly depressed.

Depression sucks but at least I know how to help myself. One of the things I have been doing is some step work. Specifically, I am working on step one. I really like the fact that the twelve step program I am in has its own twelve step work book. My sponsor is willing to go at my own pace working on the steps as she knows how challenging doing the steps can be.

Since the steps can be hard to do, I’ve done some self care. One of the forms of self care that I have done is to read. I have decided to switch books to read. I am now reading Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far the book is good but I am only thirty pages into the book.

I also have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring to some music. As I color I have been listening to my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. I love being able to color as I listen to music.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!