Good Morning, World!!! I am up too early, once again. I am getting a little annoyed with either not sleeping or getting up at this god awful hour of the morning. At least I got sleep. I think I got about five hours of sleep.
I am going to the social security office today. This time I hope I can actually get there. I need to take care of some business. They keep telling me that I am getting money and then go around saying I am not getting money. They have been doing this for two months now.
I thinking after I am done blogging, I am going to read. I am of course am going to be reading Star Wars: Heir To The Empire by Timothy Zahn. As I have mentioned in many other previous post the last few days, I have been enjoying the book quite immensely.
Thanks for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a few weeks since I last did a weekly check-in. As many of you know, I’ve been struggling lately. Despite my recent struggles, I’ve decided to make an effort to do some things this week.
One thing I did do this week was go to my appointments. Attending my appointments is what helped me NOT isolate as much as I would have done. When I saw my case manager I informed her of what was going regarding the isolation as well as the voices I’m hearing. We discussed going to a group specifically about hearing voices. At this point in time I am putting that on hold for various reason that I might tell you at a later time. We also discussed me isolating. My case manager and I talked about ways on how I can not isolate. Most of which I am willing to do yet have difficulty doing so.
Another thing I did this week was today. I went and visited my grandparents. My dad was there as he is staying over at their place for the weekend. It was nice to my dad a grandparents. My grandparents helped my dad raise me. I love my dad and grandparents so much. I feel lucky (and blessed) that I still have a set of grandparents at the age of 38. Not many folks my age have one grandparent still alive much let a set.
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been isolating a great deal. That usually means, I do introverted types of things. One of those things I tend to do when I am isolating is play one of my musical instruments. My instrument of choice is my flute as I’ve been playing it for 25 years however it needs some major repairing so I go to the two I’m teaching myself to play. I’ve been practicing my recorder a great deal the last few weeks. Still not very good but its helping a great deal.
Another thing I tend to do a lot when I isolate is art. I’ve been doing some coloring, collaging and water colors. One of these days, I’m going to need to take some picture to show you all. With all the art work I have been doing lately, I’ve realized that I can give the art as holiday gifts especially if I frame it.
The other thing that I do when I isolate is read. I usually read comic books when I am in isolation mode as my concentration is usually low however this time around I am actually able to read a regular book. I am reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. In fact I met her at the Emerald City Comicon this year. She signed a four books for me. She is from the Pacific Northwest. I’m on 30 pages into the book but so far so good.
Thanks for reading and I hope to give a book review on Ship of Magic when I am finish with it. I hope everyone has a good rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!
Love is a beautiful thing. Today, I was the Best Woman (instead of the Best Man) in one of my closest friends wedding. She got married to her long time girlfriend. They are now Wife and Wife. My friend wore a white tux with a purple vest and bowtie while her now wife wore a white wedding dress. They were both beautiful. I was in a black tux with a purple comber bun and bowtie. Even though wearing black in 86 F degree weather is quite hot, its better than wearing a dress. I’m not a big dress fan. I’m a “tom boy.” Anyway it was a beautiful wedding. The reason why my friend and her now wife chose to get married today was because of the date, 7/7/14. They not only think its lucky but they are both math teachers. They chose today because 7+7=14 or if you look at it date wise 7/7/14. They said their I dos at 7:07pm and 14 seconds. I am so happy my friend was able to get married to the woman of her dreams.
Well, I worked this morning and it wasn’t a very good day at work. It wasn’t a good at work because I found out that one of my favorite elderly customers passed away. Her daughter came into the store this morning and told me and my co-workers. In fact I went to her 91st birthday back in May. I was told by this customer that I’m part of her family. That’s why her daughter and other children want me to give the eulogy at the funeral. I said yes. It’s going to be tough on me. Let’s get on a happier topic. I may not like my current job and it has nothing to do with death. I don’t like it because its not a career that I want to be in. Since I feel like I am in a dead in job, I’m going to review my resume’ tomorrow as well as look at jobs in the field that I want to be in. If I find a job opportunity to apply to I will not only apply but write a cover letter for that particular job.
Speaking of a job opportunity I finally heard back for an organization I applied to, to become a volunteer. That particular organization is American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). I’m hoping things go well with becoming a Field Advocate for them. Not sure what’s in store. I’m still waiting on more information. They do a lot of work regarding suicide prevention as well as try to get laws passed to help those who struggle with mental illness. I’m now waiting to hear back from National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I’m wanting to volunteer for them as well. In a couple of weeks I’m suppose to start training for a local Peer Support Warm Line. In all honesty, I fear that I might me taking too much on too quickly. I just want to not work a grocery store anymore. Nine years just seems way too long to be working at one and I feel like if volunteer in the mental health field then I’m more than likely to get a job as a Peer Counselor. You would think that volunteering at homeless shelter that specializes in mental illness is enough but I don’t think so. I’m hoping that I will be able to give of my time because I don’t have money to give. Plus giving of your time means much more than giving money a great deal of the time.
Any way another thing I did was go and see my therapist. I of course got there an hour early like I do a lot of the time. While waiting to see my therapist I read A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I’m enjoying the book immensely. Diana (my therapist) and I talked about the 5 year anniversary of the trauma I experienced. We talked about the increase PTSD symptoms and the self harm urges I’ve been having. We also discussed the minor urges regarding the eating disorders. Diana is a little concerned about the self harm urges as well as the eating disorder urges and we discussed ways on how I can continue to NOT harm myself my cutting or starving myself or binging and purging. We discussed on what skills I could do. We discussed what could help in conjunction with my DBT skills. I told her I can look over my WRAP. WRAP stands for Wellness Recovery Action Plan. Thankfully she has enough confidence in me that I wont relapse with the cutting or the eating disorders that we didn’t have to do a safety contract. Diana says that I am making “Wise mind” decisions and that I don’t have to worry about becoming Borderline again. She says I’m still a recovered Borderline because I’m far from meeting the criteria again. She tells me just as long as I am doing what I am suppose to be doing in my recovery I don’t have to worry. Plus I am far from being Borderline again or least that’s what she tells me. I am extremely fearful of becoming Borderline again. Diana keeps reassuring me that I don’t have to worry about it. She also told me that she was proud of me for all the hard work I am doing with my recovery process. Its difficult to hear someone tell me that they are proud of me but its cool to hear at the same time.(Side Note: Diana is a pseudonym for her protection and the protection of her other clients.) Oh boy its 11:00pm pacific time.
Speaking of what time it is I better end this blog entry for now. I am a little tired. I’ve been up since 4am pacific time because of work. I hope I didn’t bore you all with this extremely long blog. Enjoy the last hour of your Monday. Oh yeah Happy 7/7/14. Goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace out everyone.
Good Morning!!! It’s another Sunday morning and its another rare Sunday I have off. In a way I wish I worked today because if I work Sundays, I get paid time and a third. I know that doesn’t sound like much but that extra money helps a great deal.
Well my boyfriend called me after he got off from work this morning. He invited me over for breakfast. I love the fact that loves to cook for me. He fixed me bacon, scrambled eggs and hashbrowns. I also had orange juice and chocolate milk to drink. Oh how I love chocolate.
My plans for the rest of the day are to clean my apartment. It’s a disaster area in my opinion. Another thing a plan on doing to reading. I plan on reading A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens as well as some of the psychology text books I bout last night. I still cant believe I bought two psychology text books for $13.51 at Half Priced Books. I love learning. My boyfriend and I are going have dinner together as well. We might even watch a movie together. I just need to get my apartment clean. I also hope to blog again later. It all depend on how things go.
I am trying to keep myself busy today because its the five year anniversary of a traumatic event. Even though I want to blog later on I may not be in the best head space. That’s why I need keep myself busy. I want to stay in at least an okay head space. That’s another reason why I’m going to be spending a lot of time with my boyfriend today. He is a great support to me.
I need to get going. I need to clean my apartment. I’m hoping to blog again later. I hope that you all have good rest of your Sunday. Peace out.