Monthly Archives: December 2021

Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 5:24 in the morning here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. I haven’t been able to sleep for multiple reasons. Some reasons are known like dealing with an never ending migraine which is a chronic pain issues. Other reasons is due to PTSD and insomnia while some reasons are unknown. Sadly, due to the lack of sleep and migraine, I am unable to volunteer at PAWS Cat City today due to the lack of sleep and the migraine. Yes, I did leave them three voicemails and an email letting them I won’t be there.

It makes me sad that I won’t be able to volunteer today due to insomnia and a migraine. I really love to volunteer at PAWS Cat City. They are an amazing organization. Plus, I get to help a community that has helped me with adopting my last cat, Lil Gertie and current cat Billie Dean. If it wasn’t for the awesome experience of the adoption with Lil Brooke I would have never become a volunteer. Yes, I also had an awesome adoption experience with Billie but by the time I adopted him I had already been a volunteer for a couple of months at PAWS Cat City.

Billie, my cat has been extra cuddly tonight as I think he knows I haven’t be feeling well. Part of wonders if the lack of sleep and migraine has any thing to due with the stress I am having around the holidays which includes the Holiday Blues, Depression, and PTSD that comes this time of year due to trauma related things. I am trying to make my own Christmas traditions around Christmas which are helping a great deal but some days or in this case nights are tougher than others days and/or nights.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog as if it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It really means a great deal to me that you do. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Holiday Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again in my corner of the world known as Seattle. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia. I am wondering if the reason why I am having an insomnia time night is because all the holiday stuff I did yesterday (Saturday) regarding Christmas with shopping and wrapping everything. The also includes listening to Christmas music as I colored Christmas themed coloring pictures. I’m wondering all this because I have trauma and PTSD around the holidays.

I am feeling like I am having the holiday blues so I decided to do art by coloring but I decided to color non holiday coloring pages and listen to non Christmas music. It seems like with me doing this that my depression, PTSD and Holiday Blues symptoms are lessening which is a good thing. I think I am going to go to bed.

I hope you all have a good night. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you the reader for reading my blog as if it was not for reading it, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out World!!!

A Week till Christmas

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is hard to believe that Christmas is a week from today. I have of sadly did last minute shopping today and boy were the stores busy as hell which is not a surprise. I mainly still celebrate Christmas because of family. Mainly because my grandpa as he is 91 and wants to keep the family traditions going. In all honestly I still celebrate with my mom and that side of the family because my mom doesn’t very much support and I don’t want her to be alone when this time of year is already tough on her. As much as I’m not a fan of Christmas due to my own shit, I celebrate it because I know how much it means to others and want to bring them joy.

Hell, if I’m honest with myself I have my own Christmas traditions even though I celebrate other holidays this time of year. My personal Christmas traditions that I do just for me is read two comic books call Christmas with the Superhero’s One and Two. I also do two to three holiday or wintery puzzles as I listen to Christmas music. I say two to three puzzles because it depends on the size of the puzzles I do. I also do art work related to Christmas. Specifically, I have some pretty detailed Christmas coloring pages I do every year as I listen to Christmas music. Some of the coloring pages still aren’t finished yet due to me only coloring them during the holiday season. In fact if it wasn’t for a couple of therapist encouraging me to make my own Christmas traditions for just me and actually doing my own traditions, I would be more of a bah hum bugger than I already I am.

On that note Christmas in the Seattle area is my idea of way to spend a great Christmas. I love being able to celebrate Christmas with friends, family and my cat as it rains. Well, it rains most Christmas’s. Seattle has been known to have a white Christmas on occassion.

Billie Dean, my cat will be getting spoiled this Christmas. My grandpa will be cat sitting Billie when I go see my mom’s side of the family and some friends in the Olympia area of Washington. It appears that Billie is well loved by others as he is getting many gifts this year from friends and family just like he did last year. I thrilled that I have friends and family that love my cat, Billie just as much as I do.

Before I end this particular blog post, I just wanted to let you know that I am listening to Christmas music. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writer my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Ramblings the Holidays

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is almost nine o’clock in the evening in my corner of the world known as Seattle. My cat Billie Dean is lay right next to me as I type this particular blog. Billie has be quite helpful to me the last few days. The last few days my depression and PTSD symptoms have slightly increased. It’s hard do know if it’s actual symptoms or the winter blues and/or holiday blues. Maybe it’s all of the about but I am just grateful that Billie is helping be feel better.

As the Christmas holiday gets closer, I become someone anxious about being around family. I love my family but some of them increase my anxiety. That is why I have plans in place to when family shit hits the fan, I have ways to do self care.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Well, at least it is still morning in my corner of the world here in Seattle. Normally, I would be working right now. I would be working from the office today but took the day off to do some trainings that are actually webinars that I could watch anytime but I wanted to have the day off today. Yes, I will be watching the training webinars later today when I know I struggle more with my depression and anxiety.

Anyway, I will be spending a few hours with my grandpa today for some family time with him. We are going to get me a new cell phone as mine is on the frits after having it for four years. My grandpa will be taking me to get some food as well. Food from my favorite restaurant of Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Besides a new phone and Red Robin, I will be doing some of my Christmas shopping. Not all of it but just some of it. I only celebrate Christmas because of my grandpa and somewhat for my mom as my mom just has me and my brother. Christmas gives me an excuse to spend time with family even if they are dysfunctional but I love them them. I personally celebrate another other holiday that I will discuss later.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat is thrilled I am home at the moment. I think he is noticing that my anxiety and depression are acting up as he has been more lovey dovey or “clingy” lately especially after and issue I had with a work colleague. I love my job and enjoy working with my colleagues including the one I am having an issue with however I am grateful for Billie’s love and attention when things aren’t exactly going the way I want such as increased depression and anxiety symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good holiday season even if we are still stuck in a middle of a pandemic. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing With Some Work Issues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Thursday evening here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. Seattle weather has be grey and misty like it is typical Seattle weather. The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression but at least I know what to do to take care of myself.

So, yesterday, I finally had it with a colleague that has been bullying me so I went to Human Resources (HR) about it. I’ve been having high anxiety about going to HR about being bullied but on that note yesterday (Wednesday) was the day that broke the camels back. I don’t want my colleague in trouble. I just want my colleague to realize not everyone is going to have the same response to this persons news. Anyway, I made sure HR knew that I don’t want this colleague in trouble. I want this person educated not everyone is going to have the same response and that this persons response to my response was not the best way to react to how I reacted in the way this person wanted. I am worried about retaliation with this person but I am doing what I need to do for self care.

As far as my self care, I am listening to a philosophy podcast as I am doing art work. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the philosophy podcast, “Philosophize This.” It seems to be helping me deal with being bullied at work.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful with this bullying issue that I have been having with a colleague. He is supporting me emotionally. I love my cat and am happy that Billie gives me the support I need.

I am also grateful that HR is being supportive of the situation which is quite unusual from my personal experience at previous employers. I really hope the person, I narked on doesn’t get officially in trouble. I just want this person to realize that I felt bullied and to be educated on bullying.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night and Peace Out, World!!!