Dealing With Some Work Issues

Good Evening, World!!! It is Thursday evening here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. Seattle weather has be grey and misty like it is typical Seattle weather. The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression but at least I know what to do to take care of myself.

So, yesterday, I finally had it with a colleague that has been bullying me so I went to Human Resources (HR) about it. I’ve been having high anxiety about going to HR about being bullied but on that note yesterday (Wednesday) was the day that broke the camels back. I don’t want my colleague in trouble. I just want my colleague to realize not everyone is going to have the same response to this persons news. Anyway, I made sure HR knew that I don’t want this colleague in trouble. I want this person educated not everyone is going to have the same response and that this persons response to my response was not the best way to react to how I reacted in the way this person wanted. I am worried about retaliation with this person but I am doing what I need to do for self care.

As far as my self care, I am listening to a philosophy podcast as I am doing art work. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the philosophy podcast, “Philosophize This.” It seems to be helping me deal with being bullied at work.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful with this bullying issue that I have been having with a colleague. He is supporting me emotionally. I love my cat and am happy that Billie gives me the support I need.

I am also grateful that HR is being supportive of the situation which is quite unusual from my personal experience at previous employers. I really hope the person, I narked on doesn’t get officially in trouble. I just want this person to realize that I felt bullied and to be educated on bullying.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Random Post About Nothing in Particular

Good Late Evening, World!!! As much as I love my job and the work I do, today was a rough day for me. It was a rough day because two clients I had appointments with today, had experienced someone close to them die by suicide within the last couple of days. It’s never easy dealing with loosing somebody close to you to suicide. I did what I could to help my clients and I personally experienced some secondary trauma from hearing both of my clients experience. Its not easy especially when you have experienced similar traumas as the clients. The best I could do was listen and I personally don’t think that is enough but in these cases is enough.

Something that I did was reach out to my therapist to help me with the dialog I was having in my head about my clients as well as the dialog I am having about quitting wanting quit my meds. I’m not going to stop my meds but wanted my therapist to know. I also have a couple of support friends who are a part of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) who know about the meds. I am feeling supported by my friends and therapist and the love they give me.

My cat Billie Dean is of course loving on me as he picks up the stuff I am dealing with. Billie is the sweetest lap cat one can have. I am blessed to have Billie in my life as he loves me and gives me the hope to live just like my friends. Billie is an amazing cat and I love him so much for his unconditional love me.

Another thing that is a part for my WRAP is mindfulness by myself as well as with my clients.. Mindfulness helps me greatly

I don’t have much more say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again thank you for reading my block. I hope you have a good night of sleep. Peace OUt, World!!!

Photography: Developing Your Eye I; Day Eight: Treasure

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s assignment for the photograph course I am taking through WordPress is “treasure.” Treasure means something different to everyone. For me most of, if not all of my treasure is of sentimental value to me. The picture I chose was one I had already shared with you all few years ago. It is of my teddy bear. A teddy bear that I have had since the day of my birth. My teddy bear is 41 years old just like I am. My teddy bear’s name is Ted or Teddy and has been my constant friend and support throughout my life. In fact he has been the one I have turned to when things have gotten tough. When my last cat, Lil Gertie crossed over the rainbow bridge, I turned to my constant friend, my teddy bear, Ted, and cried. Yes, I know he looks like a rat but he has seen better days. I love my teddy bear and plan on having him till the day I die and hopefully that isn’t for a very long time.

My teddy bear I have had since birth. He is 41 years old. I know he looks like a rat but he has seen better days.

An Anxiety Type Post Dealing with Cats and Volunteering

Hello, World!!! It just barely after nine in the evening in my corner of the world. I am anxious about tomorrow. I am anxious because I am going to have my first shift at the animal shelter I adopted Lil Gertie from. It is going to be bittersweet as it will bring up some grief and sadness but also be a blessing for me as it will remind me of the love I received from Lil Gertie. Plus the animal shelter I adopted my precious cat, Lil Gertie, has indeed become like family to me. I was encouraged to apply a number of times but when Lil Gertie received the dread diagnosis of cancer, I knew it was time to apply and I actually followed through with it even though I was in the midst of going to info sessions and trainings, Lil Gertie crossed over the rainbow bridge.

I think the family I received just adopting Lil Gertie is growing a little stronger and becoming larger now that I am going to be volunteering. I will be meeting new friend which means they will become family or at least that is what I have experienced with other volunteer gigs and the same thing at all my paid jobs. I never knew how much support I would get or how my support system would grow when I adopted, Lil Gertie. The adoption of my cat, Lil Gertie is has been proven helpful for me with growing some great support from people I would have never encountered in any other way. If I didn’t adopt Lil Gertie, I wouldn’t be making new friends and have them become family to me.

So starting to volunteer at the animal shelter I adopted Lil Gertie as is a way to not just honor her and her memory but a way for her to still be with me in spirit. I am anxious about it but I know she would want me to do this. I am hoping this will help with my grief as well.

I do not have much more to say because it feels like I am starting to repeat myself. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome week ahead of the. Peace Out, World!!!

Sad News About My Cat

Hello, World!!! I realize I haven’t blogged in a while. A great deal has happened since I last blogged. Mostly, I have been attending appointments and doing things for work. Nothing really major except when in comes to my cat, Lil Gertie.

Long story short I noticed a lump on my cats, Lil Gertie side. I took her to the vet and they did a test. It turns out that the test says she has cancer. Sadly, the test shows that Lil Gertie’s cancer is the type of cancer that if the lump is removed then it will most certainly grow back. The vet informed me that there is a slim chance the cancer could be another type of cancer but it is unlikely. She suggested I get a biopsy done on Lil Gertie to see how to proceed with treatment. If the results of biopsy confirm what the test say they type of cancer Lil Gertie has then treatment will be more the quality of life than trying to keeping her alive. The vet thinks Lil Gertie has six to twelve months before needing to put her down.  The vet is amazed that Lil Gertie is “doing so well” because she isn’t acting like she is sick. Lil Gertie, my cat, is acting like her usual self. She is eating, drinking, peeing and pooping normally which is a good sign for both me at the vet. Lil Gertie will have the biopsy in little over a week. I will keep you updated.

The good thing in all this is not only is Lil Gertie acting like her usual self and seeming like she has cancer but I have some major support from my friends. Friends who are amazing and loving. Friends making sure I do some good self care.

The self care I am doing is checking in with friends. I am also burning incense to help me out. I am reading, doing art, spending time with others and going about my normal everyday routine. Most importantly, the best self care is spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as I know my time is more limited than I thought and hoped it would be. I love my cat, Lil Gertie. I know Lil Gertie loves me unconditionally.

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A face only a parent could love. This is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love her facial expressions.

The above picture is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love the many facial expressions she has especially in the above picture. I am planning on printing out the picture above and framing it put it on my wall in my apartment.

I do not have much more to say as I am now in tears again. At least I know Lil Gertie is not suffering at the moment as she is acting like her normal self. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Workplace Post

Good Morning, World!!! Currently it is 4:30 in the morning in my corner of the world and I am at work. I am at work against my better judgement and that in itself is a long ass story. I just know that being on call at night for a twelve hour shift is reeking havoc on my mental health as well as my physical health. My therapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, employment specialist (job/career coach) and doctor all agree that my current employer is not exactly the best fit for me and I have to agree with them. I just wish it wasn’t true but sadly it is. The people I work with are awesome however being on call for a twelve hour night shift is not good for me especially in the sleep department. If I had a more consistent schedule even if it is a night shift, I think it would be a better fit for me. When it comes to working nights I have my doubts to if it would be a good fit but it will have to be a more consistent schedule.

I don’t have much more to say or at least not at the moment without getting emotional about it. I hope to post later on today about what has been going on for me. I am just glad I have the support I do from my treatment teams. I hope everyone has a good day. Peace Out, World!!!!

Musical Incantation

The Prompt: You’re absent-mindedly singing to yourself, when suddenly the topic of the song comes true.

I would hope to be singing something like Lean On Me or Stand By Me as these songs are about friendship and being of support to someone. Being a good friend and being of support to someone is one of my goals in life. A simple goal to change my little corner of the world. If we can make a difference in one person’s life then maybe that person can change the world and you helped in a small way.