A Not So Brief Blog About Current Life Lessons

Good Evening, World!!! I have many things going on in my life on why I temporally put a halt to doing some blogging courses through WordPress. Courses where I have left off. So I will get back to them once I works shit out in my personal life which is being affected by workplace bullying.

The workplace bullying is starting to affect my physical health primarily with with dealing with migraines. Three of the migraines I received ended up in the emergency room and was inform that it was most likely due to the bully I am receiving at work. Even thou I am being bullied at work, I am feeling supported by my supervisor, the clinical director and HR as well as a good portion of my colleagues. Despite the bullying I still love my job and know that I have people in my workplace that support place.

On somewhat of a work related thing is that I finally was able to get my first Covid-19 vaccine. I got it after much research on my part as well as gentle reminders as suggestions from my employer. Getting the vaccine is not requirement from my job but highly suggested. I decided to take my vaccine and my I took my first one yesterday. I had a slight allergic reaction of a burning throat with an itchy rash. I took Benadryl and went away after about forty-five minutes of taking the Benadryl. I am still planning on taking the second dose.

I took my first vaccine yesterday (Saturday) morning and feel like shit but It is well worth it. Well worth it for me because it means I can help others by getting the vaccines. Sadly, I had to miss my normal volunteer shift at PAWS Cat City today because of how shitty I feel after getting the vaccine. It makes me sad to miss time with all the cats but I am grateful that I have extra time with my own cat, Billie Dean. As much as I love spending time helping other cats find furrever homes, I am grateful to have more time with my cat, Billie. I love all the cats I help.

I would love to say more but I am getting really tired and needing to take another nap. I hope you have a great Sunday ahead of you. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things for reading my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome rest of you Sunday world and have a great work week ahead of you when Monday makes an appearance. Peace Out, World!!!

A Thousand Words to Say Yet Nothing Comes Out But Tears Through the Eyes

I am continuing to love my job and try to help wear I can. It appears that I am being bullied slightly at work. I’m being bullied by a white person because I am sticking up for my colleagues the identify as part of the BIPOC community. I did what I needed to do and all I want is everyone to be treated with respect no matter what what they identify as. Sadly, I am being bullied by a white colleagues. During the meeting only one person was against me as my team had my back. I felt I have the back of most of my colleagues including my supervisor. My supervisor is just one amazing human being. and am grateful to for her to be on board.

I learned a great deal about my colleagues and how supportive they are with dealing with such a bully in the work place. My Supervisor came by my -place to take our cats out for walks and for we can meet in person for the first time. I’m grateful for her checking up on me and a mutual walk with our cats. Our cats got along great.

I know there is bully at my place at work and I feel like it getting taking care off. I like the fact that my colleagues might be come friends. Love being about to talk about cat stuff instead of just work. I love cast

I do not know what else to say for the day expect a great big thank you. Thank you for reading.

Nothing But Random Sh*t, Once Again

Good Evening, World!!! Overall, today has been a good day despite some challenging moments. Today, I went to the mental health agency I am a client of as their day treatment was having a holiday lunch. I helped serve lunch which always makes me feel great help other out. Anyway some of the clinicians from the agency even ate with including my own therapist. He said he wouldn’t have come if I didn’t invite him even though the day treatment staff invited all the staff to join. Him saying this made me feel good about myself and that he cares about his clients as will do what he is able to do to help with his clients recovery.

It was nice to see some old faces in day treatment today. Seeing old friends is always a good thing. It was great to catch up with others especially people I haven’t seen a year or two if not longer. The one thing I did not like about today was the bullying that was going on. I am unable to comprehend why people bully others. I did stick up for those who were being bullied and the bully told on me and thankfully other stuck up for me and the bully was asked to leave for the day.

The weather in Seattle today was shitty. There was high winds today on top of the yucky rain. In fact I didn’t have power when I got home from the day treatment holiday lunch. I finally got it back on about an hour ago and my apartment is freezing as I have electric heating so the heaters are on full blast at the moment. I just hope the wind dies down soon. I don’t like yucky weather like today.

I don’t have much else to say. I will post tomorrow or at least that is my plan. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful rest of your Thursday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Nap + Dinner = Better Mood

Good Evening, World!!! I’m in a slightly better mood than I was when I posted my last post. I owe it to being able to sleep due to taking a nap and eating dinner. Sleep and food always equals a better mood or at least it is for me. I had boxed mac and cheese for dinner. Not the best meal but hey it is comfort food. Comfort food is always a good thing.

I got my order from Amazon today. I got a cross-stitch pattern that I’ve been wanting to do. I am teaching myself to cross-stitch. I have found that is has been helpful when I’ve done a cross-stitch pattern before. So why not get back into it and continue to teach myself to cross-stitch.

Another thing I got from Amazon was yet another workbook. For me being able to help myself with my recovery is very satisfying. Yes, I still get professional help but being able to help myself is a good feeling.

Thanks for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Liking Being Bullied

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop frustrated with what is going on in a situation I rather not get into yet have to accept the reality that the person is going to get a way with shit. Long story short I am being bullied by another client at the mental health agency I go to and unfortunately, staff “can’t do anything about it” because they “haven’t witnessed it.” Same shit I experienced as a kid in school is now happening as an adult seeking treatment.

On a plus note members of my treatment team have witnessed some of the bullying regarding my gender identity and sexual orientation. They have seen enough that this individual was asked to not interact with me and was “barred” for two days for his bullying.

I am just frustrated with the fact of the shit this individual gets away with due to staff not being a witness. Some of the shit is disrespecting my pronouns. I just have to find a way to not be reactive to this. It’s my responsibility on how I don’t get reactive so he doesn’t get a rise out of me.

My response or reaction to others is something I will be working with the members of my treatment team. Hopefully, I can just learn to let go of things such as how I respond or react to things such as bullies.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!!

Tough Valentines Day

Today, has not been the easiest of days for me to say the least. My grandma passed away earlier today. As many of you know she has been in home hospice care for a week and as of today she is no longer suffering.

I had posted on social media about my grandma’s death and well I ended up getting bullied. Bullied because I didn’t acknowledge the shooting that happened in Florida today. I was completely unaware of it as I was at Social Security most of the morning and then my therapist office the rest of the day till I got the news about my grandma.

Thankfully, I have some good friends who stuck up for me and support me when the bullying was happening. Some of these friends live near me and came over with some food to check up on me. They brought me my favorite burger from Red Robin with a butt load of fries and campfire sauce. No matter tough a day a person has, friends and food always help.

Thank you for reading. I know I will get through this with the help of many other including the blogging community. Thanks!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 6: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

It is Day 6 of Mental Health Awareness Week. Today’s topic of discussion is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Todays discussion is quite difficult for me because I am struggle with PTSD and I am sure that this topic will bring up some painful memories from my past. I am aware that this particular post might take me all day to post because if I need to stop for a while I will. I need to do what is best for me but I also realize that I still need to educate you all on PTSD. Again the information I will give to you on PTSD, I got from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

The symptoms of PTSD:

The DSM-IV criteria for identifying PTSD require that symptoms must me active for more than one month after the trauma and associated with the decline in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. The three broad symptom clusters can be summarized as follow:

1. Persistent Re-experiencing

A person experiences one or more of the following:

  • recurrent nightmares or flashbacks;
  • recurrent images or memories of the event – these images or memories often occur without actively thinking about the event;
  • intense distress of reminders of the trauma; and/or
  • physical reactions to triggers that symbolize or resemble the event.

2. Avoidant/Numbness Responses

A person experiences three or more of the following:

  • efforts to avoid feelings or triggers associated with the trauma;
  • avoidance of activities, places or people that remind the person of the trauma;
  • inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma;
  • markedly diminished interest in activities;
  • feelings of detachment or estrangement from others;
  • restricted range of feelings; and/or
  • difficulty thinking abut the long-term future – sometimes this expresses itself by a failure to plan for the future or taking risk because the person does not fully believe or consider the possibility that they will be alive for a normal lifespan.

3. Increased Arousal

A person experiences two or more of the following:

  • difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep;
  • outburst of anger/irritability;
  • difficulty concentrating;
  • increased vigilance that may be maladaptive; and/or
  • exaggerated startle response

Again, I got this information off of the NAMI website at nami.org. The DSM has since got an updated version now DSM-5.The diagnosis of PTSD has been updated in the DSM-5 so for more updated information you might want to check it out.

As I thought I am having some problems writing this particular blog. I have made the decision to make this particular blog shorter than I had hoped. It has been quite triggering for me. I am a survivor of multiple traumas and some of those trauma’s were when I was a child. Writing this blog has brought up some unpleasant memories of some horrific parts of my life. That is why I am needing to end this blog. I am sorry that I was unable to convey everything that I wanted. I hope that someday that I will be able to convey more on Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I need to take care of myself and I know with the years of therapy that I have had and continue to have that if continuing this particular entry will trigger me even more.

On that note, I will blog again tomorrow on another subject. I am not really sure if I am going to write about but I do know that I will write about mental health. I hope that you will continue to follow and/or read my blog when Mental Health Awareness Week ends. Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy it to the best of your ability. Peace out and enjoy life!!!!

Missed Pride Parade

     Hey, everyone!! I am feeling like a failure of a friend. I have several friends who were in the Pride Parade today and I missed it. I missed because of my own stupid issues. I missed it because of my symptoms of PTSD acting up. These friends have been supportive of me and have helped me through the rough moments with my mental illness. The least I can do is go Downtown and watch them in the Pride Parade and support them. Unfortunately, my symptoms got in the way. I did text the apologizing and explained why I missed it. My friends said they understood and not to worry about it because I’ve been there in other ways for them. Two of them even mentioned to me that I stuck up for them in high school when they where being bullied and that means a lot more than missing one pride parade.

     The reason why I am beating myself up over missing the pride parade is because I know what its like to be discriminated against. In my case its because of various disabilities including mental illness. My friends of the LBGTQ community of been discriminated because of their sexual orientation. God made them that way. They didn’t choose their sexual orientation. That’s why I get upset that people of faith think people choose to be homosexual. That’s like saying I choose to have mental illness or to have asthma. They cant help who they fall in love with. I want to support all my friends in the LBGT community because they deserve to be supported like everyone else.

    So, I as sorry to my friends out there that I didn’t go out and support you today even though you all said it was okay especially since it was my first time missing the Pride Parade. I’m glad they were so understanding. I just wish I could have been there to support them since they have been there to support me and my struggles with mental illness.

    I guess I will end this blog entry for now. I will blog again tomorrow after work and my appointment with my therapist. I hope everyone enjoyed your Sunday and if you went to any pride activities this weekend I hope you all enjoyed those activities. Peace out!!