Monthly Archives: January 2024

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I do my weekly check-in. This past week has had its ups and downs but if I really look at the week, it has had more ups than downs despite the challenging aspects of the week.

One of the many good aspects of this week has been spending it with some good friends as well as my partner. I have had dinner with a group of my friends twice this week and we all had a blast. As far as spending time with my partner, it is always time well spent. We spent most of last night (Friday) watching movies at my place eating a bunch of junk food. I don’t know what I did right to deserve the awesome friends and the love of my partner but I am grateful for them.

Besides spending much needed time with my partner and friends, I spent time with my cat, Billie. The last few days it has been quite freezing in Seattle so I stayed in as much as possible especially since there is currently snow on the ground in my Seattle neighborhood. Of course Billie my cat was and is happy that I am spending more time at home with him. While being home with my kitty, Billie, I have started reading a book and I am half way through it. I am not sure what to think of it yet or if I am going to read the next book in the series. I also have been doing some art work as I have been a hermit. The type of art work that I have been doing is coloring. I am coloring a giant poster and it feels like I am not getting anywhere with it but I am as you can tell by looking at it. I love to color.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Caturday with Billie the Kat

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Caturday, World!!! I have decided to start posting pictures of my cat and on occasions other cats on Saturdays as who doesn’t love to look at pictures of cats. For those who are site impaired or blind I will do a caption on the photo as WordPress allows folks to do this on their blog.

Billie the Kat laying against my chest. He does this quite frequently.
Billie the Kat showing off his belly and Cherry Pepsi
Billie giving me his grumpy face.
Another grumpy face from Billie
Billie showing his belly with his glow in the dark demon eyes.

Well, that is it for this weeks pictures of the cuteness of my cat Billie. I hope you enjoy the pictures. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Sucks Sh!t; The Love of a Boyfriend & A Cat, Priceless

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning, Seattle time. I am unable to sleep due to severe PTSD symptoms. Nightmares accompanied with body memories is never a good thing and I am beyond grateful to have Junior staying with me at the moment. Part of the reason Junior spent the night is because we spent last evening watching movies and eating junk food. I am beyond grateful for the movie date at home after a challenging session with my therapist yesterday. The distraction was much needed as well as it was enjoyed by both myself and Junior as well as my cat, Billie. Billie loves the attention, Junior gives him. I really wish the PTSD symptoms were not so severe as they suck shit. Anyway, I am happy that Junior is here to help me through this tough PTSD moment.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Love Of A Partner

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right at this moment in time I am feeling even more loved by my partner, Junior than I normally do. I informed him after my last blog post on what I was craving from Red Robin. He ordered what I was craving as well as something for himself and brought it over to my place so we could eat lunch together. Oh how I love my partner and the fact that he thinks of the simple things to show me of his love. He just left as I have a virtual appointment with my therapist in less than an hour.

I do not have much more to share in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Writing Prompt: What Snack Would You Eat Right Now?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
What snack would you eat right now?
View all responses

I have no idea if what I want to eat right now is considered a snack food but I am highly craving it at the moment. I am craving very specific food and a very specific beverage from Red Robin. The specific food I am craving from Red Robin is a Whisky River BBQ burger with a little pink in the beef and some extra cheddar cheese and extra crispy onion straws. The beverage I am craving from Red Robin is Freckled Lemonade which is strawberry lemonade and it has no alcohol which makes it even better. Now, I am really craving this meal from Red Robin. I think I might have Red Robin at some point this weekend.

Too Cold For My Liking Especially Here In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday and Good Morning, World!!! The snow in my neighborhood didn’t last long as it was just a dusting. Despite the dusting of snow yesterday evening I am glad I made the decision to not attend the University of Washington men’s basketball game as I would have been extremely cold as I walk to and from the light rail station. I am not a big fan of the cold and as much as I dislike the snow, if it is going to be this cold, I just wish it would just snow. I really don’t like it being in the low twenties (Fahrenheit) especially without the snow.

I have decided to not go to Emerald House today and it has nothing to do with freezing weather outside here in Seattle. It is my plan to stay home with my cat, Billie, and cuddle with him most of the day if he is up for it. I also am planning on doing some reading as I enjoy it and I have decided to read a book series as I prefer book series. I am not sure what book series it is yet but I know it is going to be a book series.

Not only will I be reading but I will be doing some art work. Specifically, I will be coloring. I will be coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. The giant poster that I am coloring will be for my therapist to show her my appreciation that I have for her. Not only that, coloring is self-soothing for me as well as it being a form of mindfulness for me. I just hope my therapist likes it.

Speaking of my therapist, I have an appointment with her that I plan on attending. Thankfully, it is a virtual appointment as I really don’t want to go out in this freaking cold. Plus, some suburbs of Seattle got snow so I have no clue if my therapist got snow or not since I don’t know where she lives. In fact I think it would be weird (and creepy) to know where your therapist lives.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post except I would really like rain and forty-five degrees (Fahrenheit) weather back here in Seattle. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Snowing In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is snowing here in Seattle and when it snows in Seattle the city pretty much shuts down. It shuts down because we are a bunch of whiny ass wimps that live in the second hilliest city in the United States that is never really prepared for snow due to the lack of equipment such as snow plows.

Due to the snow I have decided to not go to the University of Washington men’s basketball game. It is mainly due to the fact that the sidewalks are already icy and will need to walk to and from the light rail. I just fear it would be way too icy after the basketball game and I don’t want to risk possible injury. Like I said people who live in Seattle are wimps when it comes to snow and ice.

Since I am staying home, I am going to be doing art with Billie my cat by my side. The type of art I am doing is coloring. I am coloring a giant poster for my therapist as it is helpful for me and it shows my appreciation for her.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except that I really dislike snow. I really would like to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Long @$$ Woe is Me Post with Hopes of Fun

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Right now, I am slightly struggling with the symptoms of Depression and PTSD as well as an event that happened yesterday (Wednesday). Maybe part of what the struggle is, is due to another event that happened this past Monday. Also, I get how the Depression and PTSD symptoms can intertwine with the events that have happened this past week and I think if I want in a better place mental health wise that the two events that affected me wouldn’t have affected me as badly as they did.

Just some background is I am assigned as female at birth however, I do not go by she/her pronouns as I identify as non-binary which means, I use the pronouns of they/them. I realize that gender identity is complicated for everyone whether or not you identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth.

On that note, it is no secret that I am a client of a community mental health agency here in Seattle as it is something I don’t hide from people for various reasons. This particular mental health agency has a mental health clubhouse which is named Emerald House. Emerald House has a relatively new staff person who happens to be a peer specialist who has obvious favorites from my perspective as I too, am a peer specialist who has worked in the mental health field. I am not judging this person for having favorite clients as anyone who works in the mental health field does have favorites as we are all human. On that note, I get the impression this person struggles dealing with me just as much as I struggle with them. I do know this peer specialist tries their best and it is obvious that this person wants to do well at their job.

The reason why I mentioned Emerald House, the peer specialist (who identifies as the gender they were assigned with at birth) and my own gender identity as it plays a major role into the events that occurred on Monday and yesterday (Wednesday). Emerald House is open three weekdays a week and the two other weekdays have an hour virtual group. Well, Mondays are one of those days it is opened and this past Monday I decided to attend. Long story short other members were not respecting my pronouns and it had been a long while since I educated and reminded these particular fellow members of my preferred pronouns. The three or four other members I educated and reminded didn’t appear to be bothered by this. Sadly, as I was leaving Emerald House for the day, the peer specialist spoke to me privately stating that I need to “not censor peoples words” in regards to my preferred pronouns. Needless to say I was and still am livid about this and didn’t say anything as I want to make sure I am in a space where I can advocate for myself in an appropriate manner as well as be able to actively listen and hear what the peer specialist communicates to me.

Now that informed you have Mondays events, I would like to let inform you of yesterday’s (Wednesday) events which normally would not have affected me as severely as they did if it were not for the events of Monday. Wednesday is one of the days Emerald House is not opened but they do have a one hour virtual group. In fact yesterday was the first time I attended this particular virtual group and it went well for the most part. Two other members asked me “to cut down on the profanity” that I was using. One of the members was just completely rude about it while the other was extremely polite as can be. The rude member stated that I was being “hateful” while the polite member stated “it can be hurtful to some of us.” It was not my intention to come across as “hateful” or “hurtful” to others. I stated very calmly “I feel like I am being censored with the words I am using and I am going to leave” and I left. I left because I felt many different intense emotions and with emotions that intense I thought I would leave as I didn’t want to say something or behave in a way that I would regret later on. I am angry with myself that I appeared “hateful” and that others thought I was being “hurtful” with me cussing as I don’t want to be hateful or hurtful. I am going to do my best to not cuss but I am also very angry by the cussing incident as I was asked to “not censor other people’s words” in regards to my gender identity and preferred pronouns and I really DISLIKE being angry.

Despite being depressed, angry as well as dealing with some intense PTSD symptoms I am looking forward to attending the University of Washington’s men’s basketball game this evening against Arizona State. As much as I wish I was going to attend a Seattle Storm game, I am looking forward to attending the Husky basketball game. It is something fun that I look forward to and it is something to create memories to look back on. Creating memories to look back on is key to my mental health recovery.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post but I do hope to be able to blog about the University of Washington men’s basketball game when I get home from it. I would like to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Goals for 2024

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I know I am posting this almost two weeks into the New Year of 2024 but I thought you would be interested in what my goals for this year are.

My goals are as follows:

~ Clean my apartment and keep it clean. (My apartment is a disaster area and gets the way it does due to the fact that I struggle with the upkeep of my apartment when my depression acts up.)

~ Get a job in the social service field, preferably as a peer specialist. (Yes, I know I am currently unemployed by choice to focus on my recovery however working will help once I am a little bit more stable on my feet.)

~ Continue volunteering at PAWS Cat City. (This is a no brainer as I really love volunteering with cats.)

~ Start and complete at least three workbooks regarding my recovery. (This is to not to take the place of attending therapy on the regular basis but to help with my recovery as well as help aid on what I need to work on in therapy.)

~ Read at least four books. (I really enjoy reading and want to do my best to incorporate reading on the regular basis and into my daily life.)

~ Learn about Tarot and practice it. (I just feel like this could help me with my everyday life as well as my recovery with mental health challenges.)

~ Continue practicing mindfulness on a daily basis. (This is to also help me with my everyday life as well as my recovery with mental health challenges.)

~ Continue morning walks. (Of course there are many benefits to walking and I really enjoy it.)

~ Continue regular sessions with my therapist. (Another no brainer especially since I want to continue to work on my recovery with mental health challenges.)

~ Continue regular appointments with my psychiatric nurse practitioner. (Again, another no brainer especially regarding my mental health recovery.)

~ Continue paying off credit cards. (Who doesn’t want to be debt free?)

~ Do one logic puzzle a week. (To help keep my brain active.)

~ Color two regular posters and one giant poster. (Creativity is always a good thing.)

UGH!!! Someone Pulling Fire Alarm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am tired as hell as someone in my apartment building keeps pulling the fire alarm. It not only is pissing my neighbors and I off but the fine firefighters responding to the multiple fire alarm calls. The fire alarm has been pulled so many times tonight that the Seattle police are now investigating it and are currently here to see if whomever is pulling the fire alarm does it again.

Part of the reason myself and my neighbors are so pissed is that we keep evacuating like we are supposed to and the weather is extremely cold. It is even too cold for a lot of native born Seattleites and it is currently raining with some snow. Not only am I pissed due to the lack of sleep and it being cold outside with a rain and snow mixture, I am pissed with the stress it is causing my kitty, Billie. The sound of the fire alarm is ear piercing for a human and a million times worse for cats. My poor cat, Billie is not very happy about it but at least when the fire alarm goes off he does not fight getting into the cat carrier.

I do not have much more to write about as I really want to attempt to get back to sleep and I really hope the fire alarm does not get pulled again for something that is not a fire. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!