Hello, World!!! I am at my mental health center bored half out of my mind. I, technically didn’t have to come in today but decided to do so, so I wouldn’t be isolating. Isolating is not a good thing for me when I am dealing with depression.
As I am sitting here in the computer room of day treatment, blogging I am waiting for my therapist as we have fifteen minute check in’s on Friday. The check in’s can be in person or over the phone. My therapist appears to be invested in my recovery which is good thing. But I don’t know how much he is invested at the moment as our therapeutic relationship just started.
Since I am so bored, I think I am going to schedule some things in to do for next week. Having a regular schedule tends to help me out a great deal. The structure is what I need for my recovery or at least part of my recovery.
Another thing I might do is one of the workbooks I carry around with me. I carry two workbooks with me so when I get bored or am waiting for an appointment, I have something to do.
I better get going and socialize with others as I am here to not isolate. Have are great day and Peace Out, World!!!
Well, it another Monday evening and am reflecting on my day. Overall, it has been a good day. Today was my first day back to work after being on vacation for a week. I realized walking through the doors of my job this morning on how much I desperately needed my vacation last week despite the lack of structure. I guess maybe that lack of structure every once in awhile is a good thing.
Speaking of structure, this current week is full of it. Today, worked and went to see my therapist. Tomorrow (Tuesday), Wednesday, and Thursday I am going to be in a training regarding Co-Occurring Disorders. I then work again on Friday and Saturday. I am looking forward to the training that I will be going to the next three days. I’m looking forward to it because it’s a subject that I am passionate about. Anything that has to with mental health and/or alcohol & drug addiction is something that I am passionate about. Maybe its because of my own issue with mental illness and witnessing my parents struggle with both metal illness and drug & alcohol addictions. My parents have co-occurring disorders. The difference between my dad and my mom is that my dad is seeking treatment and unfortunately my mom is not. It is tough on a family member when the person is choosing to not seek treatment especially when the family is in recovery themselves.
Speaking of recovery, I saw my therapist today. We worked a little on my treatment plan. I wish the mental health system as a whole would change the wording from treatment plan to recovery plan. I wish this because it makes recovery more real to those who don’t think recovery is possible. When I was a teenager and young adult I struggled with the fact that recovery was possible. I struggled with working with my treatment today because of how I was feeling today. I was being hard on myself and felt like a failure because of where I am in life and where I think I should be in life. Diana (my therapist) being the stubborn woman she had me dig deep into myself which is quite difficult for me to do. She had me dig deep within myself because she knows I am capable of doing so. I am so grateful that Diana is just as stubborn as I am because I need that stubbornness at times such as today. She also has a fierce sense of humor like I do. I don’t know if my humor is as fierce as hers but I’m grateful non the less. Diana used that fierce sense of humor today during our session. Diana has been extremely invested in my recovery. It’s always nice to have a therapist invested in your recovery. Sometimes it’s difficult to find a therapist invested in your recovery especially in the community mental health system. In fact my therapist and I talked about my blog today. She doesn’t follow my blog but reads it daily even on her days off. In fact I was shocked when she said she read it everyday including her days off. I had asked her if she could read it every once in while to see if she can see how I am doing. We had talked about me starting a blog for a few months because I was so hesitant to start one. We talked about why I was so hesitant and how blogging could not only help others in their recovery process but could help in my recovery process as well. If it wasn’t for her encouragement as well as the encouragement of others I wouldn’t have started this blog.
Speaking of blogging I think I should end this particular blog entry for now. Before I end this blog for now I want to say a few things regarding blogging. I am truly hoping that this blog is reaching the people I hope its reaching. I hope its reaching those struggling with mental illness because I want them to know that there is hope and recovery is possible. I also hope that it’s reaching “normal” (whatever the hell “normal” means) people because it is my hope that this blog can show them (“normal” people) that people with mental illness are living productive lives like they are. I hope that when “normal” people read this it lessens the stigma of mental illness. Well, I need to get going. I need to get up at 5:30 am pacific time to get ready for my training tomorrow. Enjoy the remaining 1 hour and 24 minutes that is left of your Monday. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Peace out and enjoy the summer heat.
Hey! It’s Thursday and that means its the day I go see my therapist and I did. In fact I will start seeing her on Mondays again this Monday after I get off work. I have been seeing my therapist for 5 1/2 years now at a local community mental health clinic. Diana, my therapist has been the longest clinician I’ve had and that has helped a great deal in my recovery process. I’m grateful that she has not given up on me or my recovery process. In fact, Diana was the one who told me the summer of 2013 that I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She officially took it off my chart. It took a lot of work to get it off my chart with her help. Of course I’ve had clinicians in the past who have helped a great deal with me with my recovery process.
Diana, of course is not my therapist real name. I’ve given her a pseudonym for her privacy as well as the privacy of her past, current and future clients. I did ask if it was okay if I could give her a pseudonym for my blog and said yes. In fact we came up with pseudonym together. We chose the name Diana of Diana Prince because I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Diana Prince is Wonder Woman’s human name. It was the name we both agreed on. I liked it because Diana (Wonder Woman) is a woman of strength and I see my therapist as a woman of strength. I would tell you why she liked it but I am not sure if I would have her permission to do so and most importantly I want to protect her privacy and her other clients.
Speaking of Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) I finally got the last five issues. I finally had the money to buy them. I am so behind on my reading and collection of Wonder Woman. I have to figure out the other issue I need to buy. Reading and collecting Wonder Woman comic books has helped me a great deal with my recovery process. It’s one of my many Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills that I use on the daily basis.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is an entire blog entry in itself. I do have to say if it wasn’t for DBT I would not be currently employed nor would I be a recovered Borderline. DBT has given me the skills I need to live a life worth living. DBT has been a major part of my recovery and will continue to be part of my recovery. I hope to explain more about DBT later. I need get going to use my DBT Skills by fixing me and my boyfriend something to eat.
I guess I will end this blog entry for now and hope to do another blog entry tomorrow. Until then go out and have fun in this world of ours. Peace out and have fun.