Yesterday Was Not a Good Day

Good Morning, World or at least it is three twenty one in the morning in Seattle. Yesterday (Tuesday) was not a good day for me. I ended up in the hospital twice in the Emergency Room due to being suicidal. First time I went in it was four something in morning and was discharged. Thankfully I got home just in time for my psychiatric nurse practitioner called me for our phone appointment, She put me on Ativan which was a good thing.

Being home was not a good thing so I called my therapist who is fairly new to me and appears to be a great therapist. I also called one of the supervisors who happens to be my therapist supervisor. I called the both and left them both an email. The supervisor suggested to go back to the hospital so I did. But the first thing I did was have my grandpa and uncle pick up Billie with his supplies to take to grandpa. My uncle and grandpa dropped me back at the same hospital I was earlier.

On that note they had already did shift change and the social worker on duty was surprised to see me as I’m not going to the Emergency Room for mental health in over four years. Partly glad it was her and partly wish she wasn’t her. She pointed out some stuff I needed to hear which let me come back home. I’m glad she helped me make that decision as I fear if I ended back in a psych ward I most likely would have retreated to old behavior.

As of right now I can’t sleep for unknown reasons so I took an Ativan to help with my anxiety since Billie my cat is with my grandpa and uncle. I know Billie is in good hands but I sure do miss the little dude. Well not so little as he is fifteen and a half pounds. He could loos a few pounds just like I do.

I do not have much to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

All Night In The Hospital = All Day Asleep

Good Evening, World!!! I spent nine plus hours in the hospital last due to the fact I was having some strong urges to self harm. I did not self harm because, I took myself to the hospital so I wouldn’t self harm.

Since I don’t sleep very well in the Emergency Room, I came home and cancelled my appointment with my therapist. He did call me back and rescheduled for tomorrow. We also discussed the reasons the reasons I ended up in the hospital. We also discussed how well the hospital staff treated me. It has been my experience that when going into the Emergency Room for mental health challenges, I get treated quite rudely. This time around was different. The nurses, doctors and the social worker treated quite well. I explained to my therapist that it made the Emergency Room visit a wee bit more tolerable.

As I was waited to been seen in by everyone while laying on a bed in the hallway of the emergency room, I was given permission by the doctor to have my reading glasses and my book to read since everything was taking so long. I am really getting into the fantasy book that I am reading.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I apologize for not blogging sooner today, I was just way too tired to do so and needed to sleep most of the day. It is now five o’clock in my corner of the world. That means I will be going to watch the five o’clock news and making dinner to eat. Thank you again for reading my blog. It is extremely appreciated from my end. You all are awesome and hope you all continue reading. Especially since I have been have some downs lately after having some ups. Have a good evening!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Sitting In The Emergency Room (ER)

Hello, World!!! I am sitting in the Emergency Room because I self harmed. I am going to be okay. I am just waiting to talk with the social worker. I might have to talk with my therapist on the phone as well.

The social worker just showed up to talk with me. I need to get going. Have a good day. I will blog again later. Peace Out, World

Home From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Good Evening, World!!! I am home from the Emergency Room (E.R). I went to the E.R because I self harmed again. I ended up getting stitches. While in the E.R I used my coping skills. I ended up doing some are work. Specifically, I colored mandala’s. The nurses and social work were impressed with my color scheme of the mandala’s.

The social worker on duty asked what let me to self harm this time and I explained that I dissociated and that is when I self harmed. Dissociation is a problem for me and when I self harm while dissociated it makes it that much worse for me.

Now that I am home, I will be working on one of my workbooks. Not sure which one yet but I will do one. I have found that workbooks help me with my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I do self help workbooks to help myself and my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace out, World!!!

More Ramblings From Me, Gertie

Hello, World!!! The workshop I was suppose to attend got cancelled. I am okay with that as I was able to do something else. I was still able to have lunch with my friend and hang out with her for an hour. It was good company to be with a fellow peer who has a Masters in Social Work. (MSW). My friend thinks I would make a great social worker and would love me to get my education. Hell, I would love me to get my education. My friend and I discussed a great deal on on how Peer Support and Social Work have a lot in common.

Speaking of social work, my therapist is a social worker. We did our fifteen minute check in over the phone today. We discussed the disappointment I had with the workshop being cancelled. We also talked about the joy I had spending time with my friend. Before we ended our conversation we talked about what I was going to do for the weekend. I informed my therapist that I would most likely be working on one of my workbooks. He asked which one and I said probably the three that I am currently working on. I informed him I’ll try to do a chapter in all of them and that one of them is almost done and if I finish before my session with him on Tuesday that I would like to discuss it with him. He likes the idea of discussing the workbooks I do.

I think I am going to do a painting for my friend as she requested me to do one for her. She doesn’t care of what. She is going to be paying me for it which I told her she didn’t need to do so.

After painting, I think I am going to read. I love reading as it helps me a great deal.

Thanks for reading. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

No Nap For Me

Good Evening, World!!! I couldn’t sleep. I was unable to take a nap and it sucks shit that I was unable to do so. Not sleeping or in this case napping is not fun. I just want to be able to get some sleep.

Not sure why I am unable to sleep but I am having some anxiety over my job interview on Wednesday. I am excited about it but I experiencing anxiety and know that it is completely normal.

I am also having anxiety over seeing my new clinician even though I have a good feeling about him with my limited interactions with him thus far. Maybe it is because I don’t do well with change especially within my mental health treatment.

I think I am going to do some art to help with the anxiety. It helped earlier today in art group. I think the type of art I’ll do is coloring as it is helpful and calming for me.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Time For A Nap

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am home from my mental health agency. I went to day treatment as well as art group. I of course am happy that I chose to go today.

As I mentioned earlier I briefly checked in with my clinician. I have a good feeling about him after my brief interaction with him today. I see him tomorrow one on one for our first “real” session with him.

It is beautiful day in Seattle today. I have been on a few walks to enjoy the weather.

After the enjoying the walks and getting no sleep last night, I am going to now take a nap. Having insomnia sucks shit.

Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Rambling About Recovery

Good Morning, World!!! It appears that my new clinician cares. He called me yesterday to do a “check-in” and to inform me of some idea’s he has about my treatment.  The one obvious one is having a face to face, one hour, weekly appointment with him. He read some of my chart and realize that weekends are difficult for me. It is because of him figuring thing out he wants to do Friday and Monday check-ins with me. He is just attempting to be a preventative measure at the moment. Something I think is a great idea.

Another idea my new clinician threw out there was to discuss the workbooks I am doing. He likes the idea that I am doing workbooks to help my recovery along. He thinks it would be beneficial to discuss with him what I have done throughout the week with the workbooks. I like this idea and am willing to do this as it could be beneficial for me.

Speaking of recovery, I am think I should end this post for now and work on a workbook. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World

Another Boring Post About Nothing

Good Morning, World!!! I have been thinking about something and yes I know that is a scary thought. In fact the thing I have been thinking about is annoying the hell of me. The thing that is annoying me is that when I met with my new clinician yesterday he didn’t know his extension. I’m NOT annoyed with him because it was his first day but I am annoyed with myself for letting it get to me that he doesn’t know his extension.

I may be annoyed over something so minor or something what I consider minor however I am grateful that my new clinician is a Social Worker. Nothing against those who have a LMHC licensure, I just prefer dealing with Social Workers as they get a broader view of working with various individuals in many different aspects of life.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Got Into A Fight With A Brick Wall

Good Morning, World!!! I am waking up in pain this morning as I have a couple of fractures in my wrist due to getting in a fight with a brick wall. I got angry with myself last evening and decided to hit a brick wall. Obviously, the brick wall won as I have a couple of fractures in my wrist and hand.

I, of  course went to the hospital where I found out about the fractures. The doctor had me talk with the social worker. The social worker used humor to help me as I was upset with myself for letting my emotions get the better of me. Thankfully, I was able to come home.

On another positive note, I see my regular doctor today that was already scheduled before hitting the brick wall. Hopefully, I will be able to get it my wrist and hand x-rayed again so I can get a copy of it. The x-ray will help remind me to not hit a brick wall.

I need to get going as it is difficult to type and I am in pain. Have a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!