Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

I write in many forms for many reasons. But today, I will be writing about why I write my blog. I originally started my blog to help educate those who don’t struggle with a mental health diagnosis and/or substance use disorders (addiction) that we can live productive lives just like those who don’t struggle with those issues. I also started blogging to give hope to those who are still struggling with mental health symptoms and/or addiction that recovery is possible.

Little did I know that when I started my blog that it would end up helping me with my own recovery and became a form of both self care and self help. I am grateful for this unexpected surprise of blogging is helping me with my recovery; both the ups and the downs.

As you can tell, I write my blog to help others as well as myself. Most importantly, I write my blog in hopes to lessen the stigma by educating those with out mental health or addiction issues that we can be productive members of society.

Just a Random Middle of the Night Post

Good Middle of the night, World!!!!. I have not been able to sleep for various reason which includes insomnia and depression. Honestly, I think I could have some dependence on Ativan. I don’t want to have a dependence of Ativan because I don’t need any more issues than I already have.

I did email my doctor just in case because I don’t want another issue on top of other issues I already have. I know I may be a bit paranoid but I rather ge on the cautious side.

I do not have much more to say about this particular blog post. I do want to thankyou for reading my blog. I hope you have a great night. Peace Out. World!!!

Intro to Poetry; Day 4: Journey

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Life is meant to be a journey;

a journey that is meant to be full of

love and support.

Love and support many people

sadly don’t have.

Some don’t have the

love and support

due to mental health and/or addiction.

That’s where peers come

in;

to give hope

as well as love and support.

Peer Support is key to

ones journey to

recovery.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 12: Critique a Piece of Work

Today, we are suppose to critique a piece of work which can be artwork, music or writing. It is hard to critique other people work as most of the time other peoples work is better than mine. I critique my own artwork, music and writing all the time. Sadly, the critique becomes self judgement so I try not to critique my own work.

So instead of critiquing, I am going to go on rant. A rant about how people in recovery get stigmatized all the fucking time. People who are in recovery from addiction and/or mental health challenges get stigmatize so much that some people choose to not share their struggles and sadly pass away from their addiction or die by suicide. People can live in long term recovery from addiction as well as mental health challenges. I just wish we weren’t judges so harshly for something that is not are fault. So, before you judge someone due to an addiction and/or mental health challenge think of how you would feel if it was you being judged.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

I write for various reasons. Take this my blog for example. I blog to educate those who don’t have lived experience with a mental health challenge and/or substance use disorder in hopes to end the stigma that is associated with mental health and substance use. I also blog to give other people hope in their recovery. I may not have a substance use disorder but I hope that my recovery with mental health, self-harm and eating disorders can be of inspiration to those who struggle with substance use disorders. Another reason I blog and didn’t realize this till about three years after starting my blog is that it helps with my own mental health.

So, I guess, the reason I blog in hopes that with me sharing my journey that it will lessen the stigma of mental health challenges and substances use disorders as well as give others who struggle some form of hope. Being in recovery is not easy but it is well worth it. I just hope my blog can help lessen the stigma of mental health challenges and substance use disorders as well as give others hope. Thank you for listening.

Intro to Poetry; Day 4: Journey

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Walking along side someone,

on the path to recovery

is very much like hiking

with a friend.

It’s just this friend is

someone you help guide

through the life of recovery.

A life of recovery which is a

life worth living.

A Cat That Has Me Reading

Good Evening, World!!! It is a Sunday evening in my corner of the world and it has been a relaxing Sunday for me. I came home from work and spent time with my new cat, Billie Dean before taking a nap. When I got up from a nap I had a snack before settling into a good day of reading.

I have noticed that when I have Billie Dean on my lap which is most of the time, it is a bit more challenging to have my laptop on my lap. With Lil Brooke I was able have both her and the laptop on my lap but with Billie Dean, not so much. It has made me realize how much I was on my computer before Billie Dean. I really didn’t need to be on the internet but sadly felt the need to be on whenever I was home. In a way it was and still in a way an addiction for me. Billie Dean is helping me with that and without even trying. He is being a real loving cuddle bug. A huge lap cat.

Since Billie Dean is such a lap cat I have come to realize, I have a great deal of reading to catch up on. So, I have been reading much of the afternoon and evening. Enough so that I forgot to eat a meal so as I write this blog, I have dinner in the oven. When I am done writing this I will go back to reading. When dinner is done cooking I will eat and then go back to reading. I really enjoy reading. It helps me get out of my head. Most importantly it helps me not be on the internet so much.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great week ahead. Try not to work too hard. Don’t forget to enjoy the little things life has to offer. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post w/Random Sh*t

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is mostly a typical Monday for me. I, mostly a typical Monday as a couple things today aren’t so typical for me. Both of the things that aren’t that typical involve both of my parents.

Lets start with my mom. Today is her 63rd birthday. A birthday I wasn’t sure was going to happen more times I can count due to her addiction to drugs and alcohol. I feared for her life more of her addiction to drugs than alcohol because that seems to be the thing she goes to when things get too stressful for her. Even though I set some clear boundaries with in regards to talking with her on the phone, I did call her to wish her a happy birthday. She is my mom and I love her. If I were a parent, I would want my kid to make an exception in this case. My mom was happy I called her and thanked me for as well as thanked me for her birthday present.

Now on to my other parent, my dad. As I have informed you in other blog post my dad’s health hasn’t been the best and he is in the hospital. I have good news about my dad and his health. He is getting out of the hospital tomorrow (Tuesday). I am so grateful he is getting out of the hospital tomorrow and that he is in better health.

As much as I love both of my parents, I am beyond grateful that I learned about recovery from both of them. Granted my mom is not in active recovery while my dad is, I still learned about recovery from both of them. If it wasn’t for seeing them in their addiction as a way to deal with symptoms of their mental health challenges it made me acutely aware of how I don’t want to deal with any of my problems including my own mental health challenges. Even though I never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol I did end up having different unhealthy ways of coping with my problems and mental health challenges.

The unhealthy ways of coping are the reason why I learned how to make sure I do good self care. There are many ways I do good self care. One of the ways I do good self care is to take my meds. In fact I have to go pick up my refills today. While I am out and about one of the things I will also do is go buy some incense. I find incense soothing.

In fact one of the things I plan on doing later is to burn incense while I read a book called “How to Be an Antiracist.” I am really enjoying the book. I am learning so much more than I expected regarding race and how to be an ally from this book than I ever realized I could. I hope to learn more as I continue to read this book. In fact have more books about race I am going to be reading. Any way to educate myself about other experience is a way to become a better ally and friend.

I do not have much else to talk about. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Don’t forget to do good self care. Peace Out, World!!!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, World!!! It is Christmas evening in my corner of the world and have had a pretty okay day. My mom, uncle and I opened presents. I then did face time with my brother as I opened one of the gifts he gave me. He is at his dads for Christmas this year. After opening gifts, my mom, uncle and I watched a Christmas movie. We then went out to an early dinner and to walk around the lake.

Unfortunately, when we got back to my mom’s place, my uncle went next door to his place and well my mom decided to overdose on Heroin. Thankfully, I had some Naloxone (Narcan) on hand and administrated and then called 911. After calling 911 I went next door to his place to get him. When the first responders came, they took my mom to the hospital where she is staying the night.

I will be going home tomorrow even if my mom is still in the hospital. If she is still in the hospital when I leave, I will stop by to say bye to her. I am a bit disappointed that my mom decided to overdose on heroin again. I will be staying the night at my moms again tonight even though she is in the hospital. Thankfully, my uncle lives in the apartment next door to my mom so I feel safe even if he didn’t live next door I would still feel safe. My uncle has been checking up in on me and I am okay with that.

My PTSD and Depression symptoms are acting up at the moment. Some of the PTSD was triggered by my mom’s overdose and some was triggered by childhood memories due to trauma I experienced as a child at Christmas time.

I did reach out to some friends who live in my mom’s city and they have come by to visit with me. It feels good to have friends that live near my mom as if I need them when I am in town visiting my mom I have people to turn to. Having my friends and my uncle around has been a blessing today. As much as I wish my brother was around for Christmas, I am grateful he was not around this Christmas to see mom overdose once again. My brother is a great support to me but I usually am a support to him in regards to issues regarding my mom. So, I am grateful for my friends and family that were around today and am grateful my brother was not around for the drama of my mom.

I best be going as another friend is about to stop by to say hi. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated from my end of things especially this time of year. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Have a Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that if you are already done with Christmas that you had a good one. Again, Merry Christmas. Peace Out, World!!!

Missed Most of the First Half of the Seahawk Game

Good Evening, World!!! I am little pissed off at the moment. I missed most of the first half of the Seahawk game due to the fact that someone decided to cook food and catch their stove on fire while they shot up heroin. If someone wants to shoot up drugs, it is their issue however once your addiction affects me I will have an issue with it. But I also know that addiction is hell and nobody wants to be living in addiction.

Since the person was extremely high and unaware their food caught the stove on fire, the fire alarm was set off which means the fire department showed up. Thankfully, my neighbor and everyone else is okay. I am most grateful that my neighbor was not overdosing even though the fire department had my neighbor go to the hospital as a precaution. I am glad that they are going to be okay

Now, I am back to watching the Seahawk game. I hope the Seahawks continue to have the lead and beat the Chiefs. Have a wonderful Sunday evening world and enjoy whatever you are doing at this present moment. Let’s go Seahawks. Here is to hoping the Seahawks win. Peace Out, World!!!