Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, World!!! It is Christmas evening in my corner of the world and have had a pretty okay day. My mom, uncle and I opened presents. I then did face time with my brother as I opened one of the gifts he gave me. He is at his dads for Christmas this year. After opening gifts, my mom, uncle and I watched a Christmas movie. We then went out to an early dinner and to walk around the lake.

Unfortunately, when we got back to my mom’s place, my uncle went next door to his place and well my mom decided to overdose on Heroin. Thankfully, I had some Naloxone (Narcan) on hand and administrated and then called 911. After calling 911 I went next door to his place to get him. When the first responders came, they took my mom to the hospital where she is staying the night.

I will be going home tomorrow even if my mom is still in the hospital. If she is still in the hospital when I leave, I will stop by to say bye to her. I am a bit disappointed that my mom decided to overdose on heroin again. I will be staying the night at my moms again tonight even though she is in the hospital. Thankfully, my uncle lives in the apartment next door to my mom so I feel safe even if he didn’t live next door I would still feel safe. My uncle has been checking up in on me and I am okay with that.

My PTSD and Depression symptoms are acting up at the moment. Some of the PTSD was triggered by my mom’s overdose and some was triggered by childhood memories due to trauma I experienced as a child at Christmas time.

I did reach out to some friends who live in my mom’s city and they have come by to visit with me. It feels good to have friends that live near my mom as if I need them when I am in town visiting my mom I have people to turn to. Having my friends and my uncle around has been a blessing today. As much as I wish my brother was around for Christmas, I am grateful he was not around this Christmas to see mom overdose once again. My brother is a great support to me but I usually am a support to him in regards to issues regarding my mom. So, I am grateful for my friends and family that were around today and am grateful my brother was not around for the drama of my mom.

I best be going as another friend is about to stop by to say hi. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated from my end of things especially this time of year. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Have a Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that if you are already done with Christmas that you had a good one. Again, Merry Christmas. Peace Out, World!!!

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Missed Most of the First Half of the Seahawk Game

Good Evening, World!!! I am little pissed off at the moment. I missed most of the first half of the Seahawk game due to the fact that someone decided to cook food and catch their stove on fire while they shot up heroin. If someone wants to shoot up drugs, it is their issue however once your addiction affects me I will have an issue with it. But I also know that addiction is hell and nobody wants to be living in addiction.

Since the person was extremely high and unaware their food caught the stove on fire, the fire alarm was set off which means the fire department showed up. Thankfully, my neighbor and everyone else is okay. I am most grateful that my neighbor was not overdosing even though the fire department had my neighbor go to the hospital as a precaution. I am glad that they are going to be okay

Now, I am back to watching the Seahawk game. I hope the Seahawks continue to have the lead and beat the Chiefs. Have a wonderful Sunday evening world and enjoy whatever you are doing at this present moment. Let’s go Seahawks. Here is to hoping the Seahawks win. Peace Out, World!!!

More About My Therapy Session Today

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post, I said I would try to post more about my therapy session I had today (Tuesday). So, here it goes. We discussed a great deal during our session and how I will cope with the Christmas holiday.

First we discussed what type of self care I would do for myself when I am celebrating with my dad’s side of the family. We came of with various coping skills and self care strategies I can do when I am celebrating Christmas with my dad’s side and for me it was easy to come up with coping skills for my dad’s side.

Now on to my mom’s side, it was a little more difficult because I normally stay in a hotel when I go see my mom however this year I am unable to afford one this year. So that means I will be staying with my mom who is unfortunately in active addiction to heroin.  So, of course part of my good self care plan is to bring along some Naloxone (aka Narcan) as a precaution so if my mom does overdose on Heroin I can administrate it to her as I call 911. Some other coping skills and self care options I will be doing at my mom’s is of course taking my laptop, art supplies and reading material. I am not sure if I will have access to WiFi when I am at my moms but there might be chance I could find an open network or ask one of her neighbors if I can use theirs. My mom also has a bathtub so I will be taking a nice long bath as I don’t have a bathtub and only have a shower. If worse comes to worse I stay at my uncles place who lives next door to my mom. My therapist discussed taking some self soothing items with me and is going to help me through this week with check ins to see how I am doing with my coping plan especially when it comes to dealing with my mom.

I don’t have much more to say about my appointment with my therapist but if I do remember more stuff I will post it if need be. I really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. I hope you all have great rest of your Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Painful Mother’s Day

Good Morning, World!!! As American’s celebrate Mother’s Day, I sit here dealing with grief and loss. The grief and loss of my grandma and being the first Mother’s Day with out her. Also dealing with the loss of two sets of twins. Not everyone has a good or happy Mother’s Day due to the painful experiences of loosing a child or children in my case as well as grandma.

For me Mother’s Day is also painful for me because my mom was not always there for me. She kept deciding throughout my childhood she couldn’t “handle” me for a multitude of reasons. One reason is because of her addiction to Heroin.

I want to discuss with you more about how things are going for me today but even writing this is have tears roll down my face. I am going to get going and do some mindfulness. Have a great day. Peace out, world!!!

Therapy + Comics = Good Session

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize I already told you little about my session today with my therapist in my last post (https://gertiesjourney.com/2018/04/17/thankfully-not-hospitalized/) but I would like to share a little more about it as I think it helped my therapist build a rapport with me. Besides talking about my parents and their addictions we discussed comics. We discussed comics because I wore a Wonder Woman t-shirt and hat today. I told my therapist that I collect Wonder Woman comics and then we ended up talking about comic book universes. My therapist is more into Marvel and I am more into DC even though we both like a little of both universes. My therapist asked if reading comics was in my crisis plan and something I do end stead of self harming and I said yes to both. We discussed how comics have played a major role in my recovery and he assigned me to read one comic book a day as part of some homework. Another part of my homework he wants me to create a coping skills tool box out of a shoe box even though I more or less have my backpack full of coping skills I use. He even gave me a shoe box to start it. He is having me do this because he knows I enjoy doing art and to help me think about my coping skills. He also wants me to write a page on how making the coping skills box made me feel and what my experience was making it.

I am grateful that my new therapist is coming up with creative ways to help me help myself. I may not like having therapy homework but I am grateful to have it as it gives me an opportunity to grow and continue with my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Thankfully, Not Hospitalized

Hello, World!!! There was an hour or two where I thought I could be hospitalized due to hitting a brick wall with my hand and thankfully it is NOT going to happen. Everyone was in agreement with me that the hospital would not be beneficial to me this time around. So, with everyone in agreement, I am not going to be admitted to the hospital.

My therapist and I discussed my self harm actions this morning and did what is called a chain analysis. If you’re familiar with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) then you know what I am talking about. It is hard for me to describe what one is but it is extremely helpful. My therapist and I also discussed my family. Specifically, my parents and their addictions to drug and alcohol. My dad is in active recovery while my mom is not in recovery whatsoever. We talked about how I learned from their mistakes and chose not to drink or use drugs. I told my therapist that I don’t need more issues on top of the ones I already have.

I’ll write more later. I am just really tired and in pain from hitting a brick wall. Thank you so very much for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Seattle Police Helping With Opioid Epidemic

Good Evening, World!!! I am a happy camper right now as the local news station I watch made sure to emphasis a particular that many advocates like myself are thrilled about. Seattle Police was able to get a donation of one hundred or so naloxone (narcan) for more officers to carry to help in an opioid overdose.

I know many people take issues with such things however, I as advocate of the Harm Reduction model as well as being a live in general I am all for this. You kind of need to be alive to be able to choose to be in recovery.

Below is a picture of what a naloxone kit looks like.

 

Image result for naloxone kit

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!