Speaking Of…..

     Well, it another Monday evening and am reflecting on my day. Overall, it has been a good day. Today was my first day back to work after being on vacation for a week. I realized walking through the doors of my job this morning on how much I desperately needed my vacation last week despite the lack of structure. I guess maybe that lack of structure every once in awhile is a good thing.

     Speaking of structure, this current week is full of it. Today, worked and went to see my therapist. Tomorrow (Tuesday), Wednesday, and Thursday I am going to be in a training regarding Co-Occurring Disorders. I then work again on Friday and Saturday. I am looking forward to the training that I will be going to the next three days. I’m looking forward to it because it’s a subject that I am passionate about. Anything that has to with mental health and/or alcohol & drug addiction is something that I am passionate about. Maybe its because of my own issue with mental illness and witnessing my parents struggle with both metal illness and drug & alcohol addictions. My parents have co-occurring disorders. The difference between my dad and my mom is that my dad is seeking treatment and unfortunately my mom is not. It is tough on a family member when the person is choosing to not seek treatment especially when the family is in recovery themselves.

      Speaking of recovery, I saw my therapist today. We worked a little on my treatment plan. I wish the mental health system as a whole would change the wording from treatment plan to recovery plan. I wish this because it makes recovery more real to those who don’t think recovery is possible. When I was a teenager and young adult I struggled with the fact that recovery was possible. I struggled with working with my treatment today because of how I was feeling today. I was being hard on myself and felt like a failure because of where I am in life and where I think I should be in life. Diana (my therapist) being the stubborn woman she had me dig deep into myself which is quite difficult for me to do. She had me dig deep within myself because she knows I am capable of doing so. I am so grateful that Diana is just as stubborn as I am because I need that stubbornness at times such as today. She also has a fierce sense of humor like I do. I don’t know if my humor is as fierce as hers but I’m grateful non the less. Diana used that fierce sense of humor today during our session. Diana has been extremely invested in my recovery. It’s always nice to have a therapist invested in your recovery. Sometimes it’s difficult to find a therapist invested in your recovery especially in the community mental health system. In fact my therapist and I talked about my blog today. She doesn’t follow my blog but reads it daily even on her days off. In fact I was shocked when she said she read it everyday including her days off. I had asked her if she could read it every once in while to see if she can see how I am doing. We had talked about me starting a blog for a few months because I was so hesitant to start one. We talked about why I was so hesitant and how blogging could not only help others in their recovery process but could help in my recovery process as well. If it wasn’t for her encouragement as well as the encouragement of others I wouldn’t have started this blog.

     Speaking of blogging I think I should end this particular blog entry for now. Before I end this blog for now I want to say a few things regarding blogging. I am truly hoping that this blog is reaching the people I hope its reaching. I hope its reaching those struggling with mental illness because I want them to know that there is hope and recovery is possible. I also hope that it’s reaching “normal” (whatever the hell “normal” means) people because it is my hope that this blog can show them (“normal” people) that people with mental illness are living productive lives like they are. I hope that when “normal” people read this it lessens the stigma of mental illness. Well, I need to get going. I need to get up at 5:30 am pacific time to get ready for my training tomorrow. Enjoy the remaining 1 hour and 24 minutes that is left of your Monday. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Peace out and enjoy the summer heat.

It’s Hump Day (aka Wednesday)

     Happy Hump Day!!! Well, I didn’t go to my volunteer job today because I am on vacation from work. I make it a policy that if I am on vacation from work I am on vacation from my volunteer jobs. I do have to say that I missed going to my volunteer job because it gives me a sense of purpose that my paid job doesn’t. Of course most anything has more meaning and purpose than bagging groceries at grocery store as a paid job. I love my volunteer job, serving coffee and handing out hygiene/shower items at a homeless shelter. I missed volunteering today. I wish I would have gone today because I missed last week because of burning my fingers a week ago and I’m going to miss next week. In fact missing my volunteer shift next week is going to be a good thing.

     The reason why missing my volunteer shift next week is because I am taking a training in Co-Occurring Disorders. In fact this training for those who have already been Certified as Peer Counselors and since I am Certified as a Peer Counselor, I qualify to take the training. Even though I’ve been officially certified for 9 1/2 months now I still don’t have a job as a peer counselor. I figure that taking this training in Co-Occurring Disorders will be beneficial for me in many ways. One of those ways it will beneficial to me is that in will increase my knowledge. Another way it will be beneficial to me is that it will look good on a resume’. Yes, I know working at my current employer for the last 9 years as bagger at grocery store looks good on a resume’ but I’m hoping that taking this Co-Occurring Disorders training will help my resume’ look better.

     Lets get on another topic before I get frustrated with myself with feeling stuck at the same job for 9 years that seems to be going nowhere for me. Hmm…I want to get on the topic of soccer (football to the rest of the world). Tomorrow my boyfriend and I are going to watch the USA play against Germany in the World Cup. In fact my boyfriend is going to make me breakfast tomorrow morning to eating during the World Cup. He keeps asking me what I want to have for breakfast tomorrow and I am not sure at the moment. My boyfriend is so sweet because he wants to make a “date” out of watching the World Cup tomorrow morning. That’s partly why he wants to make me breakfast; to make it more “date like.”  He makes me feel so special. He makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world. Getting back on topic of the World Cup. I am crossing my fingers that the USA beats Germany tomorrow.

     Well I best be going because my boyfriend just finished up with making me dinner. He also baked some chocolate cupcakes. Yummy!! I love chocolate. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a great rest of your Wednesday. Peace out and enjoy your summer!!