Happy Birthday, To Me

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. It being twelve midnight, I can say that I am now officially forty years old. Today is a big day for me because it is my 40th birthday. Turning forty for anyone is a major deal however it is a bigger deal for me that most people because there was a point in time where I didn’t think I would live to see forty. I didn’t think I would live to see forty because I sincerely thought I would have taken my own life. Yes, I thought I would die by suicide. Turns out that recovery happened. When recovery happens then you have the will to live most day. Yes, I did say most days. The days where the will to live is lower then that’s when you seek out the support you need to seek out. I am so happy to be forty and I hope I have at least forty plus more years of being in recovery.

Yes, I do plan on celebrating my birthday. In fact I have a couple of celebrations already planned with others. I also have my own personal plans to celebrate turning forty. In fact I hope to post about the various celebrations in a later post. I say this as I really want to finish watching The Tonight Show. It is one of my favorite shows to watch. In fact there is nothing better than bringing in any birthday than with laughter and humor.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I am just really grateful to be alive. I am beyond grateful that I chose to be in recovery as I do not have a clue where I would be at this moment in time. So I am full of gratitude for my life, recovery and everyone who has helped me along the way.

I just want to thank everyone for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I really do enjoy sharing my story of recovery with each one of you. I hope everyone enjoys today. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Sleepless Night In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having another sleepless night in Seattle due to insomnia. I wish I knew how I could get some sleep besides the typical stuff I already do. It is just frustrating as hell that I can not sleep. Not being able to sleep on the regular basis sucks and no matter what I try it may or may not help.

So, I have been watching television since my last post. I started out binge watching the Umbrella Academy as I really like this show. I realized that it was time of Saturday Night Live (SNL) and decided to watch SNL as comedy and humor help me get to sleep. After trying to sleep for about an hour after SNL got over with. After an hour of trying to sleep I decided to binge watch the Big Bang Theory. I love the show as it is hilarious.

Humor and comedy some how helps me with a great deal of things in my life. One of which is sleep. Another way humor helps is that it gets me to thinking in a more positive light and that is always a good thing. Laughter is in my opinion the best medicine.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday. I am going to attempt to get some sleep once again as it is just past three in the morning in my corner of the world. Have a great Sunday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression With Humor

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have been up for several hours now and could really use a nap. The problem with taking a nap is if I do take one, I won’t be able to get up in time to go to my volunteer job and will not be able to sleep tonight. The sad thing is I woke up in a very depressive state. A depressive state that is quite concerning for me however if I am able to get through the next few days it is my hope that the depression symptoms with start to subside. I am pretty sure that the grief I am dealing with in regards to the loss of my grandma on Valentines Day of this year (2018) could have a lot to do with the increased symptoms of my depression.

Since I have been fighting off depression and grief I decided to watch the Netflix special that Ellen DeGeneres did and is so happened the show they made into a special was here in Seattle. I wish I was able to attend it in person however I was unable to do so. I am just thrilled that I was able to watch it earlier today on Netflix to help with my mood. Ellen is quite funny and I personally think she is relatable to people or at least she is to me. After watching Ellen’s Netflix special, it was quite helpful in lifting my spirits and not making the decision to call out “sick” for my volunteer job this evening.

Not only did watching the Ellen special on Netflix help me make a good choice to go to my volunteer job tonight but helped to blog about how I am feeling about shit. Shit like the depression and grief I am dealing with at the moment. Blogging seems to help and hope that sharing my story help you my reader some how. Blogging is a great outlet for me just like watching comedy is.

I don’t have much else to say at the moment. So, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Needing Some Zzz’s In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is 2:30 in the morning in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep despite everything I have tried to get to sleep. Let’s begin what I know is keeping me up and the corrupts are anxiety and PTSD. Both really suck any time of day especially when you are trying to get to sleep.

Now lets get to how I have attempted to get to sleep so far. I started off with taking some Melatonin and then doing both a mindfulness and meditation practice after watching late night television. Late night television is quite helpful for me with my sleep as humor and comedy help a great deal as does doing mindfulness and meditation practices after late night television. I decided to take melatonin for the first time and took it an hour before I knew I was going to go to bed. Unfortunately, melatonin, late night television with humor and comedy as well as mindfulness and meditation practices didn’t help me get to sleep. So, that is when I took my anxiety medicine in hopes that it would help me get sleepy enough to get to sleep. Sadly this did not work either. So, I tried my new sleeping med and it appears that it is not working either. It is quite frustrating for me to not be able to sleep. My next step is take a benadryl and watch M*A*S*H in hopes that it can be helpful for some sleep.

Well, I hope everyone has a good night or morning or evening depending where they are in the world. I am saying goodnight in hopes to getting some sleep. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you read my blog. I am grateful for each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Laughter In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after twelve thirty in the morning in my corner of the world. I just got done watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Watching The Tonight Show helps me be able to get things off my mind by laughing. Laughing also helps me get to sleep.

I think I am going to read for an hour and then go to bed. Not sure which book I am going to be reading as I am in the middle of reading multiple books. I might even look over my scrapbook as I have written in that. It might be help to put me in a good mindset to sleep.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I just got done watching the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. He is a very funny person. I am planning on going to bed within the next hour. Lil Gertie is smack dab in the middle of my bed. If she is still there when I go to be, I will move her.

I am planning on watching M*A*S*H after I am done blogging. Watching something that is a comedy or has humor involved helps with my anxiety especially before bed. Some how laughter helps me sleep.

I haven’t really done much all day as I didn’t have much planned but an interview that got cancelled. It was a nice and relaxing day for me. I read a great deal. I read about Buddhism. I also read Buddhist Scriptures.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Fun Doesn’t = Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here blogging as I watch The Ellen Show on television. Lil Gertie is sitting by my side purring. I have been having anxiety all day and Lil Gertie has been helping. Watching Ellen is proven to be helpful as well. It has proven to be helpful due to the fact she is funny as hell. I would love to be in the audience of the Ellen Show but fear being on television.

I have been working on my scrapbook a great deal today. It is starting to come along. I am looking forward to showing it to people including my therapist. Since my therapist is new to me, showing him a scrap book of what is important to me might help him get to know me a little bit more. Scrap booking is like painting for me. It is a way to express my emotions.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!