Intro to Poetry; Day 9: Landscape

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Looking out the window all you see

is an on ramp to a major interstate freeway

and tents.

Tents of those who are homeless.

It’s heartbreaking and brings tears to ones 

eyes

yet a sense of gratitude arises.

A sense of gratitude for having a roof over ones head.

Living across the street from

a freeway on ramp

isn’t ideal

but the gratitude of having a home is well

worth it.

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A Post About the Fear I Have for the People I Serve

Good Morning, World!!! At this very moment I am at work. I have been at work for ten and a half hours. I have another two and a half hours left of my shift. I am tired as hell. I will be eager to get home for many reasons but I need to get some shit off of my chest.

I work with homeless individuals for young adults. Many of whom aged out of the foster care system and have a major distrust of the police. Anyway, I work in a shelter that is in Downtown Seattle. Right in the middle of where the riots are. The thing that pisses me off is that many of the police officers have accused some of the young adults of looting. Sadly, many of the folks being accused are people of color and the police officers that are doing the accusing are white. I know for a fact that the young adults I work with were involved with the peaceful protest and had absolutely nothing to do with the riots as they didn’t want to be apart in harming their community. Many of the young adults were harassed by white police officers as they were trying to get to shelter. Many of the folks I work with just want justice for George Floyd and many other like Mr. Floyd that were senselessly murdered by white cops.

I just hope that people realize that the murder of George Floyd needs to be dealt with. I say this because people of color live in fear everyday of their life that some white person or even worse a white cop will kill them. I worry most about the homeless folks who are of color as they get harassed even more than other people. Please lets all just take care of each other.

As I end this post here at work, there is still a major police presence and the National Guard is present as well. Sadly, people are still committing arson as well as looting. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you have taken the time to read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Please protest peacefully. Stay safe while you are out protesting. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Peace Out, World!!!

An Early Sunday Morning Post At Work

Good Morning, World!!! As, I write this blog post, I am at work. As I may or may not have told you, I work at a homeless shelter for young adults (18-25). My shifts are once a week at night for twelve hours. The first two and a half hours as well as the last two and a half hours are the hours that the busiest and the seven hours in between are the slowest as well as the most boring. As much as it is boring and slow, I find things to keep me occupied. Yes, I do have work things to do which I do however I also get to do other things like blog, color, reading, and go on Facebook. Right now, I am listening to music as write this blog post. I am listening to my childhood play list on Spotify.

This past week has been one of isolation due to the symptoms of my depression. With that being said, I did go to DBT group on Thursday and therapy on Friday. DBT group went well. We discuss a great deal especially on the skill of Mindful of Current Emotion. It was nice to have discussed this particularly because I tend to not want to be mindful of my emotions as they tend to be painful. As far as therapy on Friday it turned out to be a difficult yet extremely productive session. We discussed a couple of things that needed to talked about and through. My therapist even referred me to another group. A group that I did several years ago but willing to do it again as I am in agreement with my therapist that it could be helpful.

Something else I did this past week was order some coloring pages from Stuff2Color.com. I am looking forward to starting some new coloring project and hopefully have them finished by Christmas so I could give them as gifts to others. On the plus note about the coloring as it is helpful for me as it tends to be a type of mindfulness for me.

I am looking forward to later today so I can start reading a new book a colleague has lent me. It is about a story of a young person who is experiencing some hardships. So, of course it is something that is of interest of me. Reading someone else’s story is something that inspires me as well as it gives me hope.

Since, I do not have much more to write about, I am going to end this blog post. But before I go I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope every has a wonderful day of them as well as an awesome week ahead. I know I plan on having a good week despite having some unwanted chores and errands ahead for the week. Peace Out, World!!!

Bored Out of My Mind at Work

Good Morning, World!!! It is two thirty in the morning in my corner of the world. I am up at this time because I am currently at work. I am bored half out of mind. I have done everything I needed to do at the moment. So the next hour an half I have nothing to do. I wish I could be sleeping like the shelter guest are where I work at. I have a wake up call at four in the morning and then nothing to do till six. I am suppose to get off work at eight in the morning but sometimes that is not always the case. As you know I work at homeless shelter for young adults. We serve folks from 18 till their 26th birthday. Working with the homeless population is challenging but quite rewarding. Plus, it puts a perspective on life that you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone.

After I am done writing this post, I plan on doing art. Actually, I am going to be coloring. At least it passes the time when boredom sets in as well as sleepiness. I am tired but I am unable to sleep on the job. So coloring helps keep me awake.

I do not not have much else to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Friday, Morning

Good Morning, World!!! I am now home from work and tired as hell. I am so happy that it is Friday. I spent my spare time at work on Facebook and blogging but mostly I was reading and coloring when I wasn’t doing something regarding my job. I work a twelve hour night shift at a homeless shelter for young adults between the ages of 18 to 26.

Anyway, the director of direct services did a shift in the emergency shelter and he came up to check on how I was doing every so often. He observed that I did my work quickly and effectually and still had time to build a rapport with some of the guest of the homeless shelter. He liked the fact that I colored with a couple of individuals and talked about books with a handful of other individuals.  He will be talking with my direct supervisor to discuss with him for me to start a book club and/or art group once a week. I informed him that the book club would be better suited for homeless individuals as it is easier to carry books than art supplies and it is easier to get books donated than art supplies from previous work experience. So it looks like I could have some future at my new employer even though I took the job to get a job as peer once the new year get here because it is easier to get a job if you already have a job.

Now, I think it is time to end this particular post. I am just really too tired to tell you more. Twelve hour night shift are extremely tiring. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Most importantly enjoy your weekend even if you work on weekends. I am saying goodnight as I worked all night and am tired as hell. Thank you again for reading. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

Jobless, No More & Other Stuff

Hello, World!!! I got a job over yesterday to be an on-call shelter counselor at a local drop-in center for homeless youth and young adults which does an overnight shelter for young adults. This morning I accepted the job offer. It may not exactly be the job I want however I know from experience that you’re more likely to get a job if you are already working. I am hoping that working even as an on call staff will be helpful with me getting a Peer Specialist job.

I was able to tell my therapist the good news today. We discussed both the benefits and down falls of going back to work. We both agreed that the benefits out way the down falls of going back to work. We also discussed other aspect of my life that I am not willing to share with you at the moment.

Now on to the issue I am having with my meds. My new sleeping med is now not being covered by my insurance yet they paid for it last week but not this week. I need a pre-authorization and my doctor filled it out and faxed it on three different occasions the last two days yet my insurance company claimed they didn’t receive none of the pre-authorization forms.  Dealing with the insurance company regarding my sleep medication doesn’t help with my sleep. It is actually making my lack of sleep even worse.

Speaking of sleep I think I got about an hour and last night which is more than I got on Sunday night. I really hope I am able to sleep tonight because if I don’t I am afraid I might be a cranky bucket tomorrow when I call the insurance company again as well as my doctor regarding my sleeping med.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope you have a good night (or day). Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing Much To Say

Hello, World!!! I sit here wondering if I should have kept my appointments with my vocational (employment) specialist and therapist. I have a feeling that I am going to regret cancelling however the mouth infection I have is making it difficult to talk due to the pain of the infection. You would think that the doctors at the hospital would admit me to the hospital for I.V antibiotics but they say it’s not “severe enough” which maybe I need to be grateful for. Another thing I am grateful for despite poor dental hygiene is that the infection has nothing to do with my dental health. I do see my regular doctor on Friday for this stupid infection that fucking won’t go away.

On a side note I have been playing email tag with a potential employer about setting up an interview for sometime next week. It would only be one to two shifts a week which would equal twelve to twenty four hours a week. The shifts are twelve hours due to it being an overnight shelter for homeless young adults.  Working with people who are currently and/or formally homeless is a passion of mine and really hope that I get this job. Yes, I know that the interview hasn’t been set up yet but at least that is in the works. Dealing with homeless individuals for me is easy because all they want are the basics in life.

Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Have a wonderful Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

The Joys of Being a Homeless Advocate and Pearl Jam Fan

Good Afternoon, World!!! It was announced yesterday that Pearl Jam is going to be playing their first concert here in Seattle in over five years. I, as Pearl Jam fan am beyond thrilled that they are finally coming back to Seattle to hold a concert. Not just one but two concerts and am looking forward to attending at least one of them.

As being a Pearl Jam fan finding out that they’re coming to the city you live isn’t exciting enough but being a homeless advocate this is even more exciting. Pearl Jam having what they are calling “home shows” is going to be donating money to help fight homelessness. If you been following my blog for a while you know I am a huge homeless advocate. It just happens I haven’t blogged much about it since I haven’t been doing all that well. However, with the news that was announced yesterday, and the hope that I am slowly getting back, it reignited my passion to help the homeless population. In fact they will be donating one million dollars. That money can and will going really far if they know where to donate it.

So as you can tell, that as I end this post, I am filled with hope and joy that one of my favorite band is playing two “home shows” and fight homelessness at the same time. Thank you for reading my blog once again. Peace Out, World!!!

P.S. I want to thank Pearl Jam for their donation to help end the homeless crisis here in Seattle.

To Be or Not To Be; Productive

All I want in this life is to be a productive member of society and at this very moment I feel like I am not. Due to the fact that I resigned from a job I love with a passion. Then again, I resigned from a position I love with a passion due to the fact of an extremely unsupportive supervisor. A supervisor who would not allow me the time off to attend much needed appointments for both my mental and physical health. My health and recovery are far too important than being what society views as being a productive member of society. I may not be as productive as I want to be at the moment but I’m working on my recovery. Maybe, me focusing on my recovery is being a productive member of society. All, I know is once I start to stabilize and get back to baseline I will find me another job in the mental health field.

I may not be in a place I want to be in but it appears from my end that I radically accepting that my brother, Jay, isn’t making the wisest of decisions. For instances he signed out of the program he was in and is now homeless. I scared shitless for my brother but Jay, needs to learn things the hard way. As much as I want to go rescue him I can’t. He is 26 years old and a grown man who makes his own decisions. Just like me and everyone else in this world, Jay will need to learn from his mistakes. As much as it hurts me to see that he is homeless and not being responsible for his actions.

As hard it is for me to believe that I’m not cringing with the fact that I am actually using Radical Acceptance in regard to my brother and his life decisions. Jay is a vulnerable adult and I worry about him being homeless yet I’m accepting the fact that he has made his own choices. I can’t live his life for him and hope that I’m not sounding heartless when I say that.

Right now me being a productive member of society is to focus on my recovery. Part of that is to get my shit together. Now that I have my taxes done, I need to fill out some paper work for DSHS. I highly dislike paper work but then again, I don’t know anyone who likes paper work.  Another way I am being productive is making an effort to blog. Blogging is extremely helpful for me and hope it is helpful for those who follow my blog. Of course attending my much needed appointments makes me a productive member of society.

Anyway, enough with being productive. Some days being productive is more difficult than other days.  If blogging and doing my taxes counts as being productive then I guess, I’ve had a productive day and its not even 12 noon yet.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday. Peace Out!!!

Once Again, I’m On My Oh So Lovely Soap Box

Good Afternoon, World!! It’s another relaxing Sunday afternoon in my neck of the woods. As I was sitting on my couch relaxing, I was thinking about the many types of discrimination a person can experience. One of which is economical class discrimination.

There isn’t a day that I don’t think about economical class and discrimination especially when it comes discrimination toward low income individuals. I think about this daily for many reasons. One of which, is I recently experienced it recently, again.

Let me explain my most recent experience in economical class discrimination. I had to call the fine folks who run the city bus system to see where the bus was due to the fact that it had not arrived yet. I called on my basic touch phone which appears to be a smart phone but isn’t. When the fine folks on the other end finally picked up I had an extremely irritating conversation. The woman on the other end mentioned about getting the one bus away app. I had informed her that not everyone has the luxury of owning a smart phone due to finance’s. (This is the point in the conversation that gets quite infuriating.) The woman on the other end informed me that I needed to “learn how to budget.” The thought going through my head was; excuse me, I just didn’t fucking hear that or did I. End stead of say this, I asked for the supervisor and her response was, “I am the supervisor.” At this point, I hung up due to the fact I chose not to get on my soap box with this individual because it appeared from my end she would not be able to grasp it the idea of what she just did was a form of discrimination against low income individuals such as myself. I, of course made an official complaint and much to my surprise it was taken care of.

Like I said earlier in this post that there is not a day where I don’t think about economical class and the discrimination one deals with when they are low income. The reason being is because I live in a subsidized housing building and work at a mental health agency that primarily deals with individuals that are homeless or formally homeless. It’s difficult for me to not, not see the disparity in being low income. It’s irritating as hell when I hear comments such as “you need to learn how to  budget” or “get a job” or “you’re not disabled so you shouldn’t be receiving disability” and so on. I can go on with all of the comments I have heard said to me or the clients I serve. I guess, I am just attempting to point out that when people discriminate against those who are low income they are discriminating against the following: people of color, people other ethnicities, elderly, immigrants, LGBTQ, gender, those with a criminal background and the disabled (which includes those of us who struggle with a mental illness). (SIDE NOTE: I realize I may have missed other minority groups that are affected in low income and I apologize if I missed yours.) Discrimination of those who are low income means you are discriminating against them in another category as well.

As you can tell I get passionate about others being discriminated against. What people don’t realize is that being discriminated against because of your economical class is a very real issue and wish it was brought up more. I know its on the low end of the totem pole of issues that need to be brought up in whole grand scheme of things when it comes to discrimination but that is what I am brining it up in my blog. I am hoping that this entry can at least start a conversation about the topic.

I appreciate you reading my blog and hope that this entry does start a conversation. All I ask is that if you comment on this post that you are respectful. If I feel like you are not being respectful, I will not approve them. My blog, my rules. I just want the conversation to be started. Peace Out!!