Tag Archives: PTSD

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with a good friend
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean apartment
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat Billie throughout the day

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with my partner, Junior (after he gets off work)
  • Call grandpa to thank him for his military service
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • In person appointment with my therapist
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Dinner w/my partner, Junior and our friends
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • In person appointment with employment specialist
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Dinner w/a good friend
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • U-District Farmers Market w/my partner, Junior and one of my good friends and her partner
  • Lunch w/my partner, Junior and one of my good friends w/her partner at Red Robin
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

A Brief Life Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a little over a month since I last blogged. I haven’t blogged for various reasons and the main reason is because my PTSD symptoms have been challenging to deal with. Despite dealing with challenging PTSD symptoms, I could have at least written a one or two paragraph blog post.

One of the ways I have been coping with the increase of PTSD symptoms is doing various forms of art. I have been doing my normal form of art which is coloring. I have also been doing some rock painting but sadly, I need more rocks and paint so that is on hold for now. The type of art that I have been focusing on is diamond art also known as diamond painting. I had bought me a lot of diamond painting/art when I was working and realized now that I am not working and haven’t worked for nine months that I now have time to do them. I am working on my first one and I am enjoying it so far. I hope to post pictures in an upcoming post.

I do not have much more to write in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This is not going to be a long weekly check-in as I am not up for writing much at the moment. This has been an up and down week for me and the current weather here in Seattle is not helping my mood much.

I saw my therapist this past week and we discussed how challenging it is to have some intimate moments with my partner, Junior due to PTSD. My therapist gave me some positive feedback regarding intimate moments with Junior and that he loves and respects me to stop intimate moments when I end up in freeze mode due to PTSD. I am so grateful for an awesome therapist and the love of a partner who helps me deal with PTSD. I am hoping that my therapist gets approval from her supervisor to be able to have Junior in one of my sessions with her.

As depressing as the weather has been here in Seattle today and yesterday I am so happy that my cat Billie has been helping with the PTSD and depression. I love my cat so much and I don’t understand why he loves me unconditionally.

I am done with this particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
How are you feeling right now?
View all responses

Right now I am feeling anger, fear and some anxiety. The reason for these emotions is due to some PTSD symptoms. I am not a big fan of these emotions especially due to stupid PTSD symptoms. I just wish that PTSD would not interfere with my life and my emotions. I also have a difficult time expressing anger, fear and anxiety especially anger. I was not allowed to express most emotions growing up especially anger. Now, I am slowly learning how to express my emotions in an appropriate way for society.

Unable To Sleep = Artwork & Cuddles My Cat, Billie

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is almost two thirty in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep due to a combination of PTSD symptoms and insomnia. As much I wish I wasn’t struggling with both PTSD and insomnia I am grateful for my cat Billie. I am so lucky to have a cat that loves to cuddle and lay in my lap.

On that note, since I am unable to sleep, I have been doing some artwork while listening to music. The type of artwork I have been doing is coloring from coloring pages and giant posters I bought from Stuff2Color.com as well doing some rock painting. My uncle got me a rock painting set for Christmas last year so I have been painting rocks. Granted I have had to buy some more paint and some more rocks from the local art store that is within walking distance from my home. The type of music I have been listening to as I have been doing artwork is grunge and ska.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless In Seattle Type Of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just barely after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I have not been able to sleep tonight due PTSD symptoms. I didn’t sleep very well last night either due to PTSD symptoms. Since I have been having a challenging time sleeping due to stupid PTSD I have been keeping myself busy.

I have been keeping myself busy by listening to music as I do art work. I have been listening to some grunge music as well as some ska music. The type of art work I have been doing is coloring some posters as well as some giant poster and rock painting. The coloring posters I bought from Stuff2Color.com and my uncle got me into rock painting when he gave me a rock painting set for Christmas last year. I am enjoying the rock painting as I have been placing some of the painted rocks around my neighborhood for people to pick up and have. I have also given some of my painted rocks to people. I, of course, colored my entire life and never stopped even when I was a teenager when it wasn’t so “cool” to color.

I do not have much more to write about in the particular blog post except that PTSD suck shit. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Couple of Nights

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just barely after five o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. It’s been a tough couple nights due to suddenly remembering something horrific from my childhood a couple of nights ago. On the good note about this is when I remembered, Junior was with me and then the next day which was yesterday, I had therapy.

Therapy is not meant to be easy but yesterday was tough but my therapist was compassionate and empathetic as always. She listened and gave me some suggestions to help take care of myself. My therapist makes talking about tough shit safe to talk about even when it feels unsafe due to PTSD symptoms.

Due to those PTSD symptoms, I had a couple of challenging nights and lack of sleep. Junior helped me Wednesday but was unable to help last night (Thursday) due to working. Sadly, he is unavailable today and tonight due to work as well. He is a firefighter and works twenty-four hour shifts and is doing an overtime shift today. Anyway, last night I had the help of a couple of friends via phone as well as my cat, Billie. I am grateful for my natural support system.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Start to the Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It has been a tough start to the day for me. I woke up a couple of hours ago due to a nightmare. It was a screaming nightmare and the reason why I know is because I am over at Junior’s house with my cat, Billie, and Junior informed me it was a screaming nightmare. Nightmares suck and I don’t envy PTSD on anyone including my worst enemy.

Junior is worried about my increased PTSD symptoms as he is worried it could affect the pregnancy. Hell, I am even more worried as I am that one that is pregnant. I just don’t want the PTSD to affect my pregnancy in any way. Having PTSD and being pregnant is not easy and I am grateful to have Junior and his love in my life.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; Do You Spend More Time Thinking About the Future of the Past? Why?

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
View all responses

This is a hard one for me especially after finding out that I am pregnant as it is hard to not think about the future especially for the child you are pregnant with. One cannot help but think about the future of their child and bringing one into this chaotic world.

Despite thinking about the future of my child as well as mine, I thought a great deal about my future and how much hope I have even through my struggles. For me I can’t help but think about the future and where my recovery journey will take me. Yes, I fear bigger relapses with my mental health challenges but hope is there that I will just get back up on horse and continue to work on my recovery.

On that note, I also think a lot about the past. Sometimes not willingly due to PTSD. PTSD sucks and has you thinking about some of the most horrific moments you experienced in your life. For instance PTSD has remember this stuff through flashbacks, nightmares, body memories, intrusive and much much more. There is no stopping remembering this stuff and it sucks big time.

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is way too early to be awake. I am awake due to a stupid nightmare. A nightmare that was a screaming nightmare and the only reason why I know this is because a neighbor called the police and they showed up to make sure I am okay. I informed the police that I am in fact okay and that I had a nightmare. They understood and left. I know the police were just doing their job but when your trauma related nightmare involved a police officer and the police show up, it doesn’t really help the PTSD. Again, it is not the police officers fault that a neighbor called nor is it my neighbors fault for making sure I was okay due to my screaming while having a nightmare. I just wish my nightmare wasn’t a screaming one.

On that note, my cat, Billie, is helping a great deal. He is currently laying in my lap purring as I write this particular blog post. I love my cat so very much and can’t imagine my life without him. He is such an amazing cat that loves to spend as much time in my lap as he can get. I am glad he is able to help me self regulate especially after a nightmare.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.