All I Want Is…

Good Morning, World!!! Right now all I want is sleep. I haven’t been to sleep yet. I just want to get to sleep especially since I have to be up in less than three hours to go to the social security office.

I have been reading my Star Wars book when I haven’t been pacing or trying to sleep. I think the reading is helping me through long hours of not doing anything as well as my anxiety.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day and Peace Out, World!!!

Working Through Depression & Anxiety

Good Evening, World!!! I am still struggling with the depression as stated in my last post. When I realized that my depression was still acting up, I needed to eat dinner. I had Macaroni and Cheese and Fried Chicken. Eating helped both the depression and anxiety.

I may not know why the depression is acting up but I know why the anxiety is acting up. It is acting up because I am going to the social security office tomorrow. I don’t do well when I go to the social security office. My anxiety acts up when I am there for some reason.

I have been reading my Star Wars: Heir To The Empire book. I am really enjoying the book immensely. I hope to write a book review on it when I am finished with it. For me reading has been quire helpful for me as of lately.

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening and Peace Out, World!!!

Too Much Sh*t On My Mind

Hello, World!!! I don’t know what to think right now. I have a lot of shit on my mind. I don’t know why I am having all this stuff going through my head.

I’m having trouble sleeping because of the shit going through my head. One thing I can’t seem to get out of my head is the trauma related stuff. Why can’t the PTSD give me a break? Especially, when I am wanting to go to sleep.

I am also thinking a lot about my grandma. I miss her so very much. I wish she was still here with me and my family. I know she is watching over me and is my guardian angel. She still looking out for me or I hope she still is.

I am also thinking about the money issues I am having because social security won’t make a decision about my case. I am still disabled. My disability didn’t all of a sudden disappear; although it would very nice if it did.

On the humorous side of things, I am also thinking about the Star Wars book I am reading. Of all things that I am thinking about I find this the best thing or the least anxiety provoking or painful.

Weekly Plans


  • Blog
  • Read
  • Celebrate uncle’s birthday
  • Workbooks


  • Blog
  • Social Security Office
  • Art Group
  • Workbooks
  • Read


  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Read
  • Workbooks


  • Blog
  • Read
  • Workbooks
  • Hang out with grandpa


  • Blog
  • Yoga
  • Read
  • Hang out with friends
  • Workbooks


  • Blog
  • Read
  • Workbooks


  • Blog
  • Read
  • Workbooks

Late Morning Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here trying to figure out what to do with my day. I was suppose to go to a baseball game but the person who had the tickets gave them to a family who had never been to see a baseball game. I couldn’t be more proud of my friend as she did it out of love and compassion.

Life has a way to make you think. As much as I wanted to go to the baseball game to not have to deal with my reality of money and Social Security. Yes, I am worrying a little about it right now but I know in reality it is going to all work out.

I am loving my weighted blanket. It is proven money well spent. I slept well because of it last night. If you have the money to get one I recommend you get one if you have trouble with sleep and/or anxiety.

Thank you for reading!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing but Just a Bunch of Rambling

Good Afternoon, World!!! First and fore most I am having anxiety as Social Security informed me that I am “no longer disabled” and are discontinuing money that I worked hard for. They are also telling me I owe them money when I told them of the over-payment to begin with. I am having really high anxiety over this yet I can not do anything about it till I go into the office about it. I plan on going on Monday as I am sure tomorrow will be busy as it is the day after everyone gets paid. I may have anxiety over it but there is nothing I can really do right now.

I am also really sad right now because I am missing my grandma. I miss her and I know she would tell me everything is going to work out. I just have to remember that. I know she is watching over me and will want me to not worry about the Social Security.

The one thing that is helping is helping is something I just got from Amazon which is a weighted blanket. It is helping with everything that is going on for me at the moment. I am sweating by the weighted blanket. It is quite helpful.

I also saw my therapist today. I discussed with him my social security issue and he is going to help me the best he is able to do. I then checked in with him about a half an hour ago to inform him about how the weighted blanket is being of major help and how I wasn’t expecting till tomorrow. He really wants to help me the best he way is able to do so.

Thank you so for reading my blog. It mean the world!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Fun Times At The DSHS Office, NOT

Good Morning, World!!! I had to go to the Department of Social and Human Services (DSHS) office to get back on Medicaid as Social Security stopped part of my disability benefits. It’s frustrating as hell when you pay into the system and unable to get your full benefits.

As I was in the at the DSHS office I found out I will be getting food stamps as well as them paying for my Medicare premiums which will be quite helpful for me. I just need to figure out how to pay for my bills.

This is where having a great support system comes in. Having friends to help in tough times including tough financial times is great. I wish everyone could have awesome friends like me.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Morning at the Social Security Office

Good Morning, World!!! It’s another day and I am back at the social security office. Hopefully, I get what I need taken care of today as the social security office gives me high anxiety.

I also want to get what I need taken care of today because of how my grandma is doing. I just want my issue with Social Security taken care of as it is time sensitive per Social Security and per me. Though my reasons are different than Social Security’s reason.

They just called me up so I need to get going. Have a great day!!! Happy Valentines Day, World!!!

Ugh!!! Frustration & Other Stuff

Good Morning, World!!! It’s been a frustrating morning. I went to the social security office today and have to go back tomorrow. It’s difficult enough to go when you don’t have an anxiety disorder and/or PTSD but add one or both conditions it makes it that much more difficult.

As difficult as social security is for me to go to and to deal with them, dealing with the grief of my grandma being in hospice care is that much more difficult. Knowing my grandma is going to pass away sooner than later is painful and I don’t want that to happen yet I know it is a part of life. Death is painful to deal with yet when you are aware of someone about to pass away you tend to appreciate the person more as well as life in general.

Being more appreciative of my grandma now is a good thing and not taking her life for granted, I’m going to be visiting her. I’ll be taking some art supplies with me as well as music and books to keep me busy when my grandma sleeps. The art stuff I’ll be taking is collaging and coloring supplies as its the easy to travel with on the city bus and less messy for my grandparents home.

I should get going so I can go visit my grandma. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World

Bored at the Social Security Office

Good Morning, World!!! I am waiting at the social security office bored half out of my mind. I’ve been waiting for nine minutes and was first in line. I hope they start calling numbers here shortly or you will be reading a long and boring ass post. I am listening to some music on my phone as I sit here blogging.

Oh yeah!!! The called my number. I will post later. I hope everyone great day and peace out world!!!