Happy Friday, World!!! It has been a few days since I last blogged and I don’t even remember writing my last post. The dissociation is starting to become more frequent and the period of time that I am in a dissociative state is getting longer. This is quite concerning to both myself and my therapist.
In fact when I saw my therapist this past Tuesday (April 30th), we discussed the session we had on April 23rd as I was dissociated throughout that particular session and how an hour later I called apologizing for my appointment. I don’t remember calling much less going to my appointment with my therapist on April 23rd. My therapist was so concerned over that he was thinking about putting me on a 72 hour hold for an involuntarily hospitalization but decided to hold off on it to see what will happen. I am so grateful that he didn’t put me in the hospital involuntarily but it could still be an option for him if it continues especially if I end up self harming in a dissociative state. I am glad he was honest with me in regards to this as many therapist in the community mental health system don’t convey that information to their clients.
As concerning as my dissociation is at the moment, I have applied for a new job at another young adult shelter. I applied to another shelter due to the fact that it has my study hours than my current employer. The job I would be doing is supervising volunteers during their shift in the shelter. The best part of this is I still get to help young adult experiencing homelessness while mentoring volunteers as they to help the young adults.
Speaking of work, I love my current job for the most part. The only thing I really don’t like is that it is an on-call position at night and it is a twelve hour shift. I don’t mind it being at night or it being twelve hours but I never know when I am going to get called in and there might be more times were I have two days in a row of appointments and get called in like last night. I had appointments and classes all day yesterday as well as today and I worked last night. The only reason why I even said yes to last night (Thursday) is because my co-worker is in the ICU due to a blood clot and I had said no to three previous opportunities to work. So more or less I felt guilty and took the shift on guilt plus my co-worker being in the ICU isn’t exactly their fault.
Even though I was dead tired from working last night and being up since five in morning yesterday (Thursday) I still attended the art class this afternoon despite not getting any sleep. I think I mentioned that I am taking an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” It is a free class through a non-profit organization that helps low income individuals with being able to enjoy the arts. My therapist encouraged me to sign up for an art class and was able to get into the class I had chosen as my first choice. I am really enjoying the class thus far.
In fact the class really helped with some PTSD symptoms today. The PTSD symptoms that I experienced today was due to getting my first mammogram today and that was not only difficult but extremely painful. I am just glad I got it taken care of. In fact both my doctor and therapist checked with me in regards to the mammogram. Having so many medical appointments lately sucks but if it helps with current or potential health concerns I am all for it. I just don’t like having so many medical appointments.
I don’t have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead of them. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! Today has been roller-coaster type of day when it comes to my emotions. I was able to meet my spend down for medicaid due to a comprehensive dental examination. That means I officially have medicaid back on. Which will help with my dental, mental and physical health care. I also happy that I will be able to get the proper care I need to take care of myself.
On a side note I went to call my grandma on her cell phone to tell her some good news. The sad part of this is I had a lapse in judgement that she passed away just over six months ago which let the flood gates of grief come rushing in. I miss my grandma so much. A plus note, I did have lunch with my grandpa.
I talked on the phone with my therapist about my grief dealing with my grandma and he gave me the support I needed. He suggested that I journal and/or blog about the grief. Dealing with grief is not easy.
On to the positive note. I have an interview on August 31st for a Peer Specialist position. I am looking forward to having an interview and hopefully a job a peer. I should here back later on this week about getting an interview for a shelter counselor position. Not sure what position I would want more put at least I will have some job prospects coming my way.
I am also happy that I will be able to get the much needed dental care I so desperately need. Getting the proper dental care helps your overall health. Having good health will help me with being able to go back to work.
As you can tell I’ve had an emotional roller-coaster type of day. Please send out positive energy or vibes or prayers or whatever good mojo my way about getting the job that is best suited for me.
Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciative to have readers like you in my life. I hope that my post as of lately gives out some hope to people because some of my post appear a little hopeless and depressing when I read back on them. It means a great deal that I have extremely awesome readers like you to help me keep blogging. If it weren’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t still be blogging. Thank you again for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! It is seven o’clock in my corner of the world and was unable to sleep last night. I took my Ambien as prescribed and still didn’t fall asleep. Yes, I remember blogging through the Ambien fog.
I was finally almost asleep when I had a severe asthma attack that led me to go to the Emergency Room. At first the doctor though I was having an anxiety attack but thankfully my oxygen levels proved the doctor wrong. I love it when the doctors are proven wrong. My asthma attack was due to the poor air quality Seattle is having due to all the wild fires around the state.
When I got home from the hospital, I tried to get back to sleep. Unfortunately, I was unable to get to sleep Partly out of fear of having another asthma and partly because my cat wanted to play. So I gave up on sleep and gave into my cat and played with her. On the plus side at least I can take a nap later on in the day.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is so very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I don’t know where to start so I guess, I will start at the beginning. I started off the day with going to the DSHS office and well it always sucks dealing with government agencies but thankfully everything was taken care of. Thankfully, I am getting some of my medical back and getting my food stamps back.
After dealing with DSHS, I had to make some phone calls. Phone calls regarding medical bills and one collection agency. I have been able to get charity care and/or make payment plans which is a burden off of my back.
I have also gone to the pharmacy to get my meds for the week. I am now getting my meds on the weekly basis per my psychiatric nurse practitioner. After having a suicide attempt a month ago with Tylenol she didn’t want to risk me overdosing on my meds. To tell you the truth I am more likely to stop my meds than to over dose on them. I am hoping that I will only have to do this for a month or two to prove myself again. I know she is only doing this for my protection. So, I got my meds and I take them as prescribed.
I have some household chores that I have been putting off that finally got done. Getting my household chores done is a great accomplishment.
Hell, doing everything I have done today by ten thirty in the morning in my corner of the world is a major accomplishment. I am very proud of myself for being able to do all this by ten thirty in the morning.
Now, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my day. I know I will be spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as she helps me with my emotions. As I figure out what to do with the rest of my day, I want to thank you for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Monday and a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning in my corner of the world. I am not a big fan of Mondays but considering I have to take care of some shit today, I am kind of glad that it is Monday. Actually, I am not at all glad it is Monday but considering I have to do some adulting, I am glad to be able to get some things accomplished that I need to accomplish.
The first thing on my list is to go to the DSHS office as there was some type of error made in how much money I make which led to some of my DSHS benefits being cut off completely and/or reduced. My food stamps are being reduced to barely nothing and what little medical I was getting is being totally cut off which is why I am going to the DSHS office.
After getting home from the DSHS office I plan on calling a couple of hospitals asking why they sent my bills to collections when I was suppose to get charity care. That also means I have to call the ambulance companies as well regarding sending bills collections. This all means I have have to call the collections agencies as well. Not my idea of fun. I might have to do some of the calling of places tomorrow which I am okay with just as long as I start the calling today.
I didn’t get much sleep last night due to health problems. Health problems that are related to my weird ass mouth infection that is causing me a great deal of pain. Pain tat kept me up a good portion of the night.
I really think that my physical health problems are starting to affect my mental health symptoms as the mental health symptoms are starting to increase. Usually when my physical health is acting up then my mental health can increase just slightly.
Thank you for reading my blog. Have a good day. In fact have a good work week if you work. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling at the moment with my brain not turning off. I am not sure why I can’t turn it off at the moment. I have had a pretty good day as I spent it with my family.
I am wondering why my brain won’t turn off and there are many reasons why. Reasons I can’t take care of till tomorrow. One has to do with DSHS paper work that has to do with human and/or computer error. Another reason is that a couple of my medical bill have gone to collections and I thought I took care of it with the appropriate people so it looks like I will be on the phone a lot tomorrow and maybe most of the week. Oh how I hate being on the phone for things I thought I already have taken care of.
All this is making me worry about money even more than I should be worried about it. Hopefully all this will be taken care of this tomorrow if not sometime this week. There is nothing I can really do right now as it is Sunday and have to wait to a weekday to deal with all this shit.
Dealing with all this shit isn’t helping much with my depression which sucks. But one thing that is helping with my depression right now is my cat. Having a cat that is willing to cuddle with you when you are down is quite helpful. I love Lil Gertie, my cat, so much.
Spending time with my family overnight and this morning was quite helpful with trying to turn my brain off as well. It helped a little but not as much as I would have hoped. I did enjoy spending time with my grandpa.
Now I have to figure out how to spend the rest of my day as I need to keep busy. I guess, I can do the usual stuff with doing art work, read, and spend time with neighbors and friends. I might even look for more jobs and apply for them. Another thing I can do is go for a walk as well as do household chores.
I want to thank you for reading about what is going on in my brain right now. I just hope everything works out as it needs to work out. Have a good Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, again, World!!! I am still spending time with my family. Mainly my grandpa and uncle. It is always nice to spend time with family but I am missing my cat right now. I know my cat is in good hands with my friend (who is a neighbor) taking care of Lil Gertie but I still miss her. I should be going back home today.
My uncle is taking me to the DSHS office to take care of some medical insurance issues due to the fact that they think I make more money than I actually make. I am glad that I have family to help me out with this stuff. I hope I can get it taken care of tomorrow without having to go to the Social Security office which is even a bigger nightmare.
I just wish my health was in better shape as this weird ass mouth infection is really getting to me. Having to be on a butt loud of antibiotics is not my idea of fun. I feel like that my health is affecting my mental health. My mental health is something I need to keep an eye on especially my depression. This is where I wish I was home with my cat but maybe being with my family is helping me with the depression to a degree.
My grandpa is making breakfast for a late breakfast early lunch. Maybe more like a brunch. Not sure what he is making but it sure smells good. Having a supportive family means a great deal. Even though their support is not as supportive as they think it is but their heart is in the right place.
I better go an see if my grandpa needs help making breakfast or lunch or whatever it is. I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Monday Morning, world!!! It is barely after two in the morning in my corner of the world. Hell, it is two oh nine in the freaking morning and I have my stupid laptop with me as I sit in the room of a stupid Emergency Room of a hospital once again. My mouth/cheek infection appears to be getting worse. Actually more swollen a grotesque at time goes on. The doctors and nurses are trying their damn little hearts out one how to help me.
They like the fact that I brought stuff to do to keep myself occupied such as bringing my laptop to be able to blog and keep you all up to date since I have been failing at that lately. I have brought some art work to do. Mainly coloring stuff. Specifically, mandala’s to color. They seem to help me keep myself at some sort of peace and to lessen the pain that I am dealing with. I just wish I could have brought my cat, Lil Gertie with me but I know that is against the rules. I do have a good neighbor checking up on her later today if I don’t get out of this stupid hospital.
I hope everyone has a good Monday as well as a good work week. I hope to keep you all updated as time goes one. Talk to you all later. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! It hasn’t been a very good Sunday for me. I ended up in two Emergency Rooms at two different hospitals. One which told me it I had a bad tooth and needed to get a dentist. The other hospital said I had a mouth and facial infection with a possible tooth infection. So I am now on antibiotics for a the mouth and facial infection along with taking ibuprofen for the pain. I was suggested by the second hospital to get a dentist whom gave me referrals to.
On a plus note I was able to do some art work as well as post this blog. On a bigger plus note I am able to be home with my cat, Lil Gertie and able to play with her. She is such a sweet cat.
Thank you for reading. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World.
Hello, World!!! As I sit here blogging, I am writing from my laptop on gurney in hallway of an Emergency Room. The reason why I am writing from the Emergency Room is because I ended up self-harming again. I will share what type of self-harm in a later post as I don’t want to trigger anyone at the moment. To be honest with you, I am shocked as hell that the E.R staff are letting me blog at the moment. Maybe it is because they know I won’t do anything to harm myself any further than I have already.
I did use my coping skills box before I self harmed. It did help when I was using my coping skills yet I stopped using them and self harmed. It just proves to me if I use my coping skills I can go without self-harm.
I just wish recovery didn’t have so many relapses. It is non-linear and most definitely not a straight line. Although it would be easier if it were a straight line. I do have to say this will make me a stronger person even if I don’t want it to.
Thank you for reading. I hope to update you later. Peace Out, World!!!