A Friday Morning Post From a Tired Person

Good Morning, World!!! I have been awake since 3:33 this morning due to a nightmare. A nightmare my cat woke me up from before it could get worse. Somehow my cat is acutely aware of when I am having a nightmare. My cat, Lil Gertie, tend to wake me up from nightmares by either licking one of my big toes or my nose till I fully wake up. When I finally wake up, Lil Gertie is by my side snuggling with me till my anxiety decreases due to PTSD. Having PTSD sucks shit and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

One of the first things I did as I snuggled with Lil Gertie was do a mindfulness and meditation exercise. I did this with the help of an app on my phone called Calm. It was an app that was suggest by a good friend of mine a couple of years ago that I attempt to use quite often. Not as often as I want or should but I am starting to use it on the daily basis as it is quite helpful when I use it everyday.

After doing about twenty minutes of mindfulness and meditation I turned on some music that is focused on meditation to listen to as I pulled out a coloring page to coloring. I didn’t do much but what I did do was somewhat challenging as I was trying to do some shading to make the bridge look a bit more realistic. Sadly, part of it isn’t shaded and hopefully when I am finished with the bridge and the rest of the picture the lack of shading on the part of the bridge that wasn’t shaded won’t be noticeable. The below picture is the coloring page/poster I am doing.

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The coloring page / poster I am coloring at the moment. It is extremely detailed and will take time to finish.

Right now as I am writing this blog post, I have the morning news on. It’s been mostly local news with weather and traffic. Thankfully, no mention of President Trump. I am not a big fan of Trump for many reasons and am grateful when the news doesn’t mention him especially with the hatred he spews.

Since I am on the topic of Trump I didn’t appreciate the fact that earlier this week that he blamed the mass shootings on mental illness when we all know it was done by white racist men who aren’t mentally ill. Racism is not a mental illness and people with mental health challenges are not “Twisted Monsters” or “Mentally Ill Monsters.” It boggles my mind that Trump doesn’t realize that most mass shootings in America are done by white men who are NOT mentally ill. I have more to say about this but will discuss it later as it is now 7:00 in the morning and I want to try to get some sleep after having been woken up at 3:33 in the morning.

As I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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Just Another Post With Me Rambling

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in the afternoon in my corner of the world and I have been struggling since I woke up at five this morning. I have been struggling with several symptoms of my mental health challenges. I wish I wasn’t struggling with symptoms but sadly I am.

As badly as I am struggling at the moment and against my better judgement, I watched the twelve noon news. I say against my better judgement because there tends to be at least one story that triggers me. In fact there were two stories that triggered me in the noon news and it appears that it is the topic of politics that tends to be triggering for me at the moment. At least I am realizing what is triggering for me.

Lets get on to a different topic other than the news and politics as I am getting triggered even discussing it in this post. Yesterday, I had both therapy and group therapy. Specifically, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). In therapy my therapist and I discussed the DBT skills that I am struggling with doing due to barriers that get in the way. Even though we discussed the DBT skills I struggled with, we mainly talked about the barriers I struggle with. Sadly, some of the barriers are trauma related and we will need to continue to discuss these particular barriers in future sessions. After my session with my therapist I went to group therapy that happened to be DBT group. The topic of DBT group happened to be barriers that get in the way of using skills. When I found out the topic of DBT group I had to chuckle to myself because of what therapist and I discussed in my session with him.

Anyway, back to today and waking up struggling. I was struggling bad enough that the only thing I could do in the moment of waking up was pet my cat. My cat just laid next to me in my chair purring as I petted her. I ended up petting my cat close to a half an hour and during that half an hour petting my cat, I realize what I needed to do and ended up doing the entire morning before turning on the twelve noon news.

The things I ended up doing was art work and listening to a podcast as I did art work. The type of art work I ended up doing was coloring. I am coloring a poster in hopes to give it my therapist. As I colored the poster I listened to a podcast on philosophy. The specific podcast about philosophy I am listening to is called “Philosophize This” and am learning a great deal about philosophy. I highly recommend listening to the podcast “Philosophize This” for several reasons which I will share with you another time.

I say I will share with you another time in why I recommend “Philosophize This” is because I need to end this particular blog post so I can get going and eat something. I realized I haven’t eaten yet today which is not a good thing. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Friday as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Night Struggles

Hello, World!!! It is eleven o’clock at night on a Sunday and I am struggling. Struggling with the symptoms of the mental health challenges I am diagnosed with. Symptoms that I wish that were not acting up at the moment especially since I thought I was making some progress. The PTSD symptoms I am having are quite severe. Severe enough that it has been cause several hours of dissociation. The depression is causing me to want to isolate. Isolation is not a good thing especially since my psychosis is starting to flare up again. I am starting to hear voices again and that is not a good sign. At least the voices are at a whisper. All of the above mentioned symptoms is causing me some high anxiety.

At this moment in time I am starting to watch the eleven o’clock news. I am pretty sure that is going to to be the same shit that was on the evening news. I just wish the news shared feel good stories as they wouldn’t make watching other parts of the news so depressing.

Since my last post I have been reading Yesternight by Cat Winters with my cat, Lil Gertie, on my lap. The book is very interesting so far. It is one of those books that is difficult to put down especially since it is a page turner. It was hard to put down to watch the eleven o’clock news. So far I am only a quarter of the way thru it and hope it continues to be a page turner.

As I mentioned, Lil Gertie, my cat has been sitting in my lap as I have read. Having her on my lap at helped a great deal with the symptom’s of my mental health diagnosis especially the PTSD symptoms. She has been quite helpful with the dissociation as it is difficult to dissociate when you have a cat seeking your attention most of the day. I think she was doing this so I would not dissociate. I love my cat, Lil Gertie so much. Adopting my cat, Lil Gertie, has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I do not regret getting her whatsoever. She is my little furbaby.

I do not have much else to say in the post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great nights sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Mental Health Challenges Suck Sh*t

Good Evening, World!!! I just finished watching the evening news. There was really nothing good on the evening news but when does the news have good news. It seems like the news is nothing but Politics and depressing news. But then again politics can be depressing. Or at least the last two and half years, politics has been nothing but negative and depressing. More so than ever. I wish the news could share a minimum of two feel good stories each half an hour they are on. But that is just my own personal opinion.

On the plus side, the weather in Seattle hasn’t been as “bad” as the weather people said it would be. It was sunny with some clouds which is good thing because there was suppose to be a “storm” according to the weather people on the news. The weather people really don’t seem to know what they are talking about.

My Anxiety, Depression and PTSD are not relenting and wish the hell I could get a break. My mental health challenges appear to have increased symptoms which suck shit. I haven’t taken a show since Wednesday and that is never a good sign. I just wish I could take a bath because that would be a wee bit easier for me but unfortunately my apartment doesn’t have a bathtub in it. It does have a shower but a nice hot bath would be nice on occasion. I know I need to take a shower but I don’t feel like taking one. I know ultimately I will feel a ton better but I am just too depression to do so.

I think I am going to start reading my book Yesternight by Cat Winters. I think reading it will be quite helpful for me to get out of my own head. I really hope it is a good book like people having been telling me it is. It seems like an interesting book by what I read on the back cover.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a great rest of your Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! It is barely six forty five in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not been to sleep yet despite many attempts at sleep. I even took my as need (PRN) sleeping pill and that didn’t even work. I am annoyed that my sleep in inconsistent and that there is much my psych doctor and regular doctor can do except refer me a sleep study. I was referred yet I am unable to make an appointment due to the fact the medical review board at the office I was referred to has to review the referral first which make now sense to me especially since they haven’t even notified my insurance yet. I guess, I just want to figure out why I am not sleeping and am at a loss on what to do as the one thing that could possibly give any ideas has to review the referral and that could take up to six weeks which mean my insurance wont pay for it. I have to have an appointment scheduled within the first four weeks of the referral or my insurance won’t pay for it. And that frustration is whole other story I won’t even get into.

One of the things I have done to entertain myself was watch the Umbrella Academy. I am not finished with the season yet but it is getting extremely interesting. I am finding it very intriguing and entertaining. I am hoping to finish season one by the time Friday comes around.

The other thing that helped me get through yet another sleepless night is reading. I read comic books. Not just any comic books. I read Wonder Woman comic books. I love Wonder Woman. In fact I collect Wonder Woman comics as it is a hobby of mine. It is not just only a hobby but reading them is also a skill that helps me with challenging times. I read Wonder Woman comic books even when I am not having challenging times.

I am now watching the morning news. Not very much going on in the news that I am really interested with the exception of the weather. Everything else in the news in pretty bleak. The news is so freaking depressing.

I do not have much else to say. I just hope that when I attempt to go back to bed that I can actually fall asleep. Sleep is extremely important to ones mental health. I should get going so I can try to get some sleep since I didn’t have a wink of sleep all night. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated.  Have a wonderful Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing Like A Nightmare Early On A Monday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning and people are starting to get up to get ready for their work day. I have been awake since two thirty this morning due to a nightmare and it is now five o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. Waking up to a nightmare is absolutely no fun. At least my cat did her job and woke me up from the nightmare before it got any worse. Some how she trained herself to wake me up from a nightmare by either licking my nose or licking one of my big toes. Not sure how she trained herself to do that but I am grateful for it.

Since I woke up from a nightmare, I have been reading comic books and listening to music. Specifically, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music. For some reason reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music has been quite helpful for me the last two and half hours which I am extremely grateful for.

Now that it is five o’clock in the morning, I will be watching the morning news as I haven’t kept up to date on the news via television all weekend. I did however read the newspaper over the weekend. Sometimes staying away from the news is quite helpful for my mental health and this past weekend it was quite helpful as my depression symptoms have been increasing which sucks shit.

I don’t have much more to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great start to the work week. I also hope everyone has a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Too Early To Be Up On A Saturday

Good Morning, World!!! It is six o’clock in the morning on Saturday. Fortunately, I fell asleep shortly after I last posted. Unfortunately, I woke up a little too early. I was hoping to sleep in a little.

I think I’ll take this time to make some tea. I’ll have tea while reading the local news paper the Seattle Times. It is probably full of bad news like always but at least it is part of my morning routine.

I don’t have much more to say except of yet another reminder of why I have advertisements on my blog. Each time someone clicks on one of the advertisements on my blog I earn money. Not much money but at least it is something. All I ask of you is that you click on an ad or two once or twice a week. It will help by gifts for my friends and family during the holiday season whichever holiday they may celebrate.

Oh, I need to fix me some breakfast. I am not sure what I am going to have for breakfast but I know it’s not going to be cereal. I think I might fix me some French toast and scrambled eggs. I might even have chocolate milk along with my breakfast.

My cat appears to want some attention so I think I am going to give her the attention. If she wants it, I will give it to her unless of course if its three o’clock in the morning and I am trying to sleep. Paying attention to Lil Gertie, my cat, comes first then breakfast.

I think I am going to get going and pay attention to Lil Gertie. After that I will have breakfast and then have tea while I’ll read the news paper. I hope everyone has a good Saturday. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!