Middle of the Night Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I just got done watching the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. He is a very funny person. I am planning on going to bed within the next hour. Lil Gertie is smack dab in the middle of my bed. If she is still there when I go to be, I will move her.

I am planning on watching M*A*S*H after I am done blogging. Watching something that is a comedy or has humor involved helps with my anxiety especially before bed. Some how laughter helps me sleep.

I haven’t really done much all day as I didn’t have much planned but an interview that got cancelled. It was a nice and relaxing day for me. I read a great deal. I read about Buddhism. I also read Buddhist Scriptures.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

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Fun Doesn’t = Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here blogging as I watch The Ellen Show on television. Lil Gertie is sitting by my side purring. I have been having anxiety all day and Lil Gertie has been helping. Watching Ellen is proven to be helpful as well. It has proven to be helpful due to the fact she is funny as hell. I would love to be in the audience of the Ellen Show but fear being on television.

I have been working on my scrapbook a great deal today. It is starting to come along. I am looking forward to showing it to people including my therapist. Since my therapist is new to me, showing him a scrap book of what is important to me might help him get to know me a little bit more. Scrap booking is like painting for me. It is a way to express my emotions.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Neighbor Drama

Hello, World!!! I witnessed one of my white neighbors be an asshole and call another neighbor the “n” word. This started an argument and the African American neighbor walked away as he didn’t want the arguing to continue. My white neighbor went at him and him so hard in the back he fell to his knees. At this point myself and other witness’s called the police.

The police showed up with the fire department where my African American neighbor not only pressed charges but went to the hospital as precaution. The police took witness statements and two of the neighbors (who are white) attempted to say it was the African American’s fault not the white neighbors fault.

I as a white person attempted to explain to the white witnesses sticking up for the asshole of a neighbor about white privilege. They were trying to argue with me so I stopped the conversation. I did my best to do so to explain what it was. Unfortunately, I think it made things worse.

Who needs a television drama when you have drama in your apartment building. There is never a dull moment in my building. I just wish the drama that happened this evening didn’t happen as someone got hurt. I hate drama.

Thank you for reading. I hope I didn’t trigger anyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Midnight Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world. I am up watching television. Actually, I am watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I watch this show as it helps with my anxiety especially before I go to bed for the night.

Another thing that helps with my anxiety is the new weighted blank I got today. I really recommend it as it appears to be helpful. Or at least the twelve or so hours I have had it. I didn’t think it would be helpful and boy was I wrong.

I have been working on one of my workbooks. In fact I have been working on the workbooks that deals with mindfulness. Focusing on mindfulness as been quite helpful when I am dealing with.

I think the Ambien is starting to kick in. I think I should get some sleep before I get a little loopy from the Ambien.

Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Is It Too Much To Ask For Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! It is three o’clock in the morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I have been keeping myself busy by reading. Reading appears to be of help to me. Especially on nights where I am unable to sleep. Reading is so much more fun than watching middle of the night television. Television that is nothing but infomercials.

I have also been working on my workbook. A workbook that is geared toward folks with insomnia who struggle with depression and anxiety. I am only on the first chapter but so far I am finding it helpful.

I am grateful that I have the abilities to help myself through not being able to sleep. Yes, insomnia suck shit but I am able to help myself. I am able to help myself by reading, doing workbooks, blogging and other such things.

Thanks for reading. I hope to be able to get some sort of sleep. Have a great morning even if it is still the middle of the night for you. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Blogging Through Shit

Good Morning, World!!! I am not sure what I am dealing with at the moment. One moment I am struggling and the next, I am okay. Since I am unsure what is going on with me emotionally, I tend to write in moments like this. Writing helps me process whatever the hell is going on. It helps me figure out what is going on.

As I write this post I am just going to write what is going through my head. This might be scary for you all as I am going to be blunt as hell and not hold back. Hell, what I think scares the shit out of me sometimes. The stuff coming out is not the scariest I have thought.

I am slightly worried about money for the month of May. Not as worried as I was in previous post but still worried. I know things will work out when it comes the money situation as I have people who can be of help to be if need be. I just don’t want to have to depend on them.

I wish my neighbor would turn down their stupid television. It is pissing me off and for some fucking reason it is trigger me. Why in the hell is someone’s loud television trigging me? Sounds silly but it is triggering for some odd reason.

I think I am going to read. I love reading and enjoy it immensely. I just don’t understand why it is taking me so long to read this particular book. It is an awesome book and will write a book review on it when I am finally finished with it.

I wonder who actually reads my blog. I mean is it reaching the people I want it to reach. Are people actually reading it or just “liking it” after reading a few sentences? I am trying to figure out why I only have just over three hundred followers after nearly four years of blogging. In fact I wonder if tags work sometimes. I know they must but I just wonder how many people actually go to the tags. I know I do.

I should really be doing chores right now. I need to clean my apartment. I clean my apartment once a week. Or I attempt to clean it once week. Nobody likes having to clean but it is a necessity that is part of being an adult.

I think I am going to go now. Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Hoping For Some Sleep Tonight

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after midnight in my neck of the woods and I am tired as hell. I didn’t sleep last night and I am hoping that I get some sleep tonight. For me sleep is important to maintain good mental health.

Something that I have been doing to help myself is art work. I have been painting most of tonight and it appears that it is helping me contain my emotions.

Another thing that has been helping is watching television. I am watching the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. For me laughter helps me be able to get into a good head space to be able to get some sleep.

I think I will get going and continue to watch Jimmy Fallon. Have a goodnight and peace out world!!!