Changing My Mind for the Moment

Good Morning, World!!! I just want to start out that I got a really good night’s sleep last night despite waking up way too early. Sleep is crucial to one’s mental health just like eating food is. I went out to breakfast with a friend this morning and it was great to have an awesome breakfast with an amazing person in my life.

With the help of this friend I have made a decision about my job. I have decided not to put in my thirty day notice. The reason being is I will need to see what the corrective action plan (CAP) consists of before making such a decision. It’s amazing what food in the stomach, a good night of sleep and a conversation with a good friend can do to help make decisions about your life. I am still not one hundred percent sure that I won’t put in my thirty day notice at work but I do know I won’t put it in till I receive my corrective action plan (CAP). I don’t start work till twelve noon today and my CAP meeting is at two o’clock this afternoon. That means I will be focusing on as well as catching up on email and paperwork my first two hours of work.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Noon Time Ramblings

Good Afternoon, Word!!! I am worried about going back to work tomorrow. One of the reasons is because I will be turning in my resignation as my job is not the right fit for me at the moment even though I love my job. Another reason is because I will be receiving a corrective action plan (CAP) on a couple of things that revolve around my annual review that was done three and half months early. Normally, I would just own up to whatever the CAP is about but I have been asking every time, I have supervision what I can work on and didn’t really receive feedback with the exception of my issues with adaptability. I am not going to argue about my issues with adaptability as this is something I have had issues with since I was a kid due to a disability.

Since I am so worried about work tomorrow, I have been attempting to distract myself from this particular worry. I have been doing some artwork. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring as I listen to music. It seems like that listening to music as I color is quite soothing for me.

Not only have I been coloring as I listen to music, I have been reading. I am reading a horror book as it is one of my favorite genres as well as it being Halloween time. I am reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. So far I am enjoying the book.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Dinner with my family

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Breakfast with grandpa
  • Work
  • Read

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Meeting with sponsor
  • Read
  • Work on workbook (TBD)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Read

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle times
  • Go to the U-District Farmers Market with friends
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Read
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Lunch with friends
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! This past week has had plenty of ups and downs but then again, life is a roller coaster ride. A roller coaster ride that is never the same.

The roller coast ride was mainly due to work related stuff. In fact it has been nothing but drama and when I can go back to work. The great news is I am going back to work this Monday (October 16th). The not so great news is that I will be getting a corrective action plan (CAP) for various things in which I was not informed of till I received my annual review three and a half months early before going back on medical leave. Little does work know, that I have been searching for a new job. In fact I have a pre-interview and an interview with two different potential employers.

Due to the work drama, I am so glad I have been doing mindfulness meditation practices twice daily. Actually, it has been more than that but I schedule to do mindfulness meditation practice twice daily as it helps with my mental health symptoms.

In fact mindfulness meditation is a part of the twelve step program I am in. I am really happy that I am in this particular twelve step program as I think it will be helpful for me.

I don’t have much more to write about in this particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Caturday with Billie

As I mentioned last week I will be starting Caturday with Billie today and will be posting pictures of my cat Billie. Sometimes I will post pictures of other cats but I will let you know who that cat is and how I know the cat but there will always be at least one picture of Billie in the post.

A stoic Billie

Just Another Boring Post

Hello, World!!! It appears to be another typical autumn weather day in Seattle. It started out nice and reached 70 degrees (Fahrenheit). Now it is raining and yucky outside. Of course this is normal for Seattle for this time of year.

I went to the doctor’s again today. It was a follow up to a follow up apartment. I still have a stupid urinary tract infection (UTI). The doctor decided to have me extend me taking more antibiotics for the UTI. While at the doctor’s office I received the flu shot. Now my shoulder hurts which is a normal side effect for receiving the flu shot.

After getting back from the doctor’s office, I spent the rest of the day at home with my cat, Billie. I love being able to spend time with my cat. Not only did I spend time with my cat, I spent the afternoon and evening doing art. Specifically, I colored. As I colored, I also listened to music. I listened to my childhood memories play list as I colored.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

fRiDaY tHe 13tH

Happy Friday the 13th, World!!! It is only nine in the morning here in Seattle and I am already feeling accomplished with my day. Accomplished because I have already done so much already today and it is not even close to twelve noon yet.

I am feeling accomplished because I started out the day doing a mindfulness meditation via the Calm App. Doing a daily mindfulness meditation practice is quite helpful for me. In fact I start everyday with one and I end everyday with one. Sometimes I even do more to help get my head in a better space.

After my mindfulness meditation practice, I read the newspaper. The newspaper I read is the Seattle Times which is a local newspaper to Seattle. Sadly, there isn’t much good news to report and I wish there was some good news to report.

When I was done reading the news paper, I attended two online twelve step meetings. Yes, you read right, two twelve step meetings. Twelve step meetings that I find helpful for me and my own recovery.

Speaking of the twelve steps I am doing some step work. I am working on step one. The twelve step program I am has a twelve step workbook you can work with alongside your sponsor. The twelve step program suggests that the sponsors have done all the steps themselves at least once before becoming a sponsor. In fact that is one requirement I have as sponsee is that my sponsor had done the twelve steps at least once and has been in recovery at least a year. In fact my sponsor informed me that she would like me to take the steps at my own pace which I like but I have to work on it most days of the week.

Now lets talk about what today is. As you the reader already knows; today is Friday the 13th. Some people think that today is bad luck I am not sure why people think Friday the 13th as there are so many theories that it is just way too hard to figure out the “most popular” theory.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I sadly woke up from a stupid nightmare and wish the PTSD would just go away. I realize that sadly, the nightmares and the rest of PTSD symptoms will not go away.

Since I woke up from a stupid nightmare, I have decided to read. I am going to read because it is a great distraction and I love to read. Plus, when I read, my cat, Billie, lays on my lap. So, I get the unconditional love of my cat laying on my lap as I read.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post

Hello, World!!! I don’t know how to feel right now. Depression is hitting me hard tonight but at least I got some sleep in earlier. Even though I only got about four hours of sleep I am grateful for the much needed sleep as I was tired. Hell, I am still tired which is why I am probably slightly depressed.

Depression sucks but at least I know how to help myself. One of the things I have been doing is some step work. Specifically, I am working on step one. I really like the fact that the twelve step program I am in has its own twelve step work book. My sponsor is willing to go at my own pace working on the steps as she knows how challenging doing the steps can be.

Since the steps can be hard to do, I’ve done some self care. One of the forms of self care that I have done is to read. I have decided to switch books to read. I am now reading Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far the book is good but I am only thirty pages into the book.

I also have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring to some music. As I color I have been listening to my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. I love being able to color as I listen to music.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of Day Check-In

Good , World!!! So, far this is my third blog post of the day and I would be lying if I informed you if I wasn’t struggling. I am struggling at the moment however I have hope. Having hope is a good thing especially when one’s depression is acting up.

As you know from an earlier post, I am struggling a great deal. Mainly, due to not sleeping the last two nights which sucks, but I have kept myself. I, of course have colored as well as read a horror book. The thing I am most proud of is having my first conversation with my sponsor.

That conversation led me to start the first step. The first step is a huge step for everyone involved in any twelve step program. Being part of a twelve step program is healing and gives a sense of community with the meetings and having a sponsor. During my conversation with my sponsor she asked me to attend at least one more meeting today as I already attended one and have the time to attend a second one for the day. I did attend the second meeting and it was awesome.

After the meeting I decided to work on some workbooks for my mental health recovery. I worked on two separate workbooks and I am grateful that I did. I think the workbooks will help me build new skills and reinforce the skills that I currently do have. Recovery is a process and is non-linear. It also looks differently to each person as everyone’s recovery journey is unique to the individual walking along the recovery path.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader continue to read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!