Tag Archives: PTSD

A Semi-Rough Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I had a semi-rough night last night. The building fire alarm kept going off multiple times due to it malfunctioning. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. Sadly, the fire alarm going off multiple times caused my PTSD symptoms to act up as I was in two fires when I was a kid.

Since I didn’t sleep much I decided to keep myself busy. Busy with a multitude of things. Things such as attending an online twelve step meeting. Attending these twelve step meetings, I have found it very beneficial for me.

I also read. I specifically read a book on Tarot Cards. I am reading about Tarot Cards because I want to learn more about them so I can learn more about myself. I want to learn more about myself so I can be more self aware.

Another thing I did was art work. The type of art work I did was to color. I colored a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com as I listened to music. I listened primarily emo music.

The most important thing I did last night was cuddle with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to write about. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Plain Ole Frustrated

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am frustrated at the moment because the building fire alarm system in my apartment building keeps going off due to some sort of malfunction. It has gone off 4 times in a matter of a three hour period. When the fire alarm goes off it triggers my PTSD due to being in two fires when I was just a kid.

Since I have been unable to sleep I have decided to try to keep myself busy. I attended an online twelve step meeting. Surprisingly, the fire alarm did not go off when I attended this particular twelve step meeting. I am really enjoying the twelve step meetings and I hope I continue to make time for myself to attend.

I have also decided to color to help keep myself busy. I am coloring a giant poster that I bought at Stuff2Color.com I really love to color for a multitude of reasons. One reason I enjoy to color is it is a self soothing practice for me. Another reason why I enjoy to color is it helps my inner child.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep = Online 12-Step Meetings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again so it is another sleepless in Seattle type of night. It is just after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle so there isn’t much to do right now but sleep but I can’t.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been attending online twelve step meetings to help with what is keeping me up. PTSD sucks but at least I have online twelve step meetings to attend. The cool thing about online meetings is my cat, Billie, showing his cute face.

I don’t have anything else to say except thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Working on My Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am realizing that my recent trauma is causing a lot of shit to happen in my life and I am allowing some of it to happen. Some of the shit I can control while some of it I cannot. The things I can control, I hope will help with the things I cannot control.

One of the things that I have come to the conclusion of is attending a twelve step meeting that focuses on how I react and nurture myself coming from a dysfunctional family that is full of alcoholics. The particular meeting I am attending focuses on what I can do to nurture myself as well as how I react to my dysfunctional family. As anyone who is in a 12-step program is aware of, is that attending ninety meetings in ninety days is highly suggested as well as having a “home group” to attend.

Attending therapy regularly for me is a major part of my recovery. Talk therapy helps me a great deal as does other types of therapies such as DBT, CBT and Motivational Interviewing (MI). I think my therapist does a lot of Motivational Interviewing with me as well as some DBT.

Of course working on workbooks is helpful for me when it comes to my recovery. There so many different workbooks out there that are helpful. One that I am working on now focuses on mental health recovery.

One thing that also helps me is taking medicine for my anxiety, depression and PTSD. If I didn’t take meds it would make everything else I do for my recovery much more challenging to do but it is also not the only thing.

As I have mentioned in a previous post doing at least two mindfulness meditations a day helps a great deal. It helps me start and end my day with a mostly clear mind. It also helps a great deal with my anxiety.

Acupuncture helps my depression and anxiety a lot as well as helps with physical health issues.

Lets not forget my cat Billie helps. He is extremely helpful.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this blog post. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Got Some Good Sleep Here in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I feel like I got some good sleep here in Seattle. I love it when I get good sleep. Granted I didn’t sleep more than five hours and had nightmares but at least it was good sleep overall so I am going to try not to complain. I am surprised that I got good sleep as I took two naps yesterday due to not sleeping very well that night before.

I mentioned in past post that I recently experienced a trauma. A trauma that caused my PTSD to act up especially from past traumas. Anyway, my therapist is helping me through the trauma is willing to stick with me as I know I can be challenging. My session with my therapist yesterday went well. My therapist is beyond awesome.

When I had my session with my therapist yesterday, I wish I would have remembered to tell her something. Something that helps with my PSTD nightmares. That something is reading one of my favorite genres of books which is horror books. Horror books help me not remember my own horrors especially if I read them before bed as I end up with nightmares from the horror books which are so much easier to deal with than PTSD nightmares.

Another thing that I have found that is helpful dealing with my PTSD is mindfulness meditation. It helps because I feel like it calms my mind down. That is why I do my very best to start each day with a mindfulness meditation practice as well as end my day with one.

On to other things that are helpful to my recovery is doing some form of fine art and listening to music. This has been one of my go to’s since my early days in recovery with a mental health challenge. I love art and I love music.

Speaking of recovery I went to the grocery store yesterday to buy some much needed food. One of those food items was ice cream. I got a pint of Baskin Robins mint and chip ice cream. I ate about a quarter of it and plan on having some later today.

Something I started doing in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic was attending a twelve step meeting for adult children who dealt with parents who are alcoholics. I loved attending and I really wish I didn’t stop attending. I am hoping to start regularly attending again as I found it helpful to my recovery.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to say thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmare Suck

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in Seattle and I am unable to sleep due to PTSD related nightmares. I, so wish I didn’t have to deal with nightmares especially PTSD related nightmares. Nightmares that really suck which is why I chose to read.

I chose to read to help distract myself. In fact, all the authors I chose to read; Stephen King. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery. I haven’t gotten very far in the book. I am only about twenty pages in but so far so good. I figured if I am going have nightmares already, I might as well as have them on my terms.

Part of how I came to read Pet Cemetery is by practicing mindfulness meditation. I practice mindfulness meditation by using the Calm App. The Calm App is an awesome resource for mindfulness. I know that both the Calm App and mindfulness help me with my recovery.

Something that I am realizing is that I am hungry. I am really hoping it gets here soon. I ordered from a food delivery company. I ordered from McDonald’s. I am really wanting some fries and I hope they are not cold or stale.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Diamond Art Time

Posted on by Gertie

i Morning, once again from Seattle. As I write this particular blog post, my cat Billie is laying on my lap purring. I think it is his way of helping me with doing some art work. Specifically, Diamond art work. Right now I am putting the pieces into small containers with the right colors so they can be put into the right place. It is going to be a tedious task but I think it will be well worth it. I am glad I saw friends doing Diamond Art and that they explained it to me.

Granted the first two times I attempted to do this earlier this year I gave up. So, I decided to give it another try as I want to add more to my coping skills when shit hits the fans. The organizing might be a pain in the butt but, I am looking forward to what the finished art work will be.

I want to thank you for reading my blog post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & Reading About Tarot

Posted on by Gertie

Well, I guess I can wish you a good morning since it is te middle of the night Seattle time. I mentioned in my last blog post that I would be doing some art work and crafting as well as learning about Tarot Cards. Well, I decided to not do the creative part of my plan of doing art by diamond art as well as crafting by doing latch hook and cross stitching.

Since I didn’t do the creative plan of my plan, I decided to do some education on Tarot Cards. I read most of the books about Tarot and find it an easy read. I hope that once I am done with the book that I can do the workbook so I can be ready to read my own tarot reading and document them in the tarot journals with what the reading is

I am doing the Tarot thing because I feel like it can help me with my mental health recovery. To me, anything I can try to help with my recovery can never hurt as my recovery means the world to me. I am hoping that I can start reading tarot on myself and then efficiency on my friends.

Of course as I read and wrote this blog my cat, Billie cuddled up with me. I love it when Billie cuddles up with me. I love him so much and I love the fact that he loves me unconditionally.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update From Last Blog Post

Posted on by Gertie

As I stated in my last blog post, I bought some drugs to help numb the pain of the trauma I experienced a couple of months ago. PTSD suck shit and so does depression. Sadly, I took the pills and they are not doing what I had hoped they would do. Which proves to me that the positive skills that I built over the years help much better that the stupid ass drugs. So no more drugs for me in pill form or in any form for that matter.

The one thing that really helps with my mental health symptoms is my cat, Billie. Billie gives me the unconditional love that I am in much need of. Cats as well as other pets know how to give unconditional love. I love my cat, Billie so very much and I am so grateful for him.

Speaking of love, I know that my friends and family love me. I may not always get along with my family but I know that they love me and support me the best they can. My friends love me as well and are my best support besides my cat being my best support. I love the fact that I have the support of my friends and family.

Lets not forget music and how it gives me a high that drugs do not give me the high. Music gives me great memories and memories to last a lifetime especially when I attend with friends. I also love playing my flute which gives me an amazing high.

Another type of creativity that gives me a good form of high is arts and crafts. As far as art goes, I do a lot of coloring and absolutely doing it. I am also learning how to do Diamond Art. So, far with Diamond Art, I have separated some items before starting the artwork of Diamond Art which I am cool with. As far as the crafting part, I am crossing stitching and am okay at it. I could do better at it but at least I am improving at it. As far as the Latch Hook part of the crafting, I am just learning how to do it and need a lot of work on it.

The one thing that helps me the most is mindfulness meditation through the Calm App. I also do mindfulness meditation with my cat when he is on my lap purring. Mindfulness Meditation helps starts my day properly as well as end it properly.

Something that I find helpful as of lately is learning about Tarot. I am learning about Tarot by reading, journaling, as well as attempting to read the Tarot Cards for myself and of course workbook. I hope that doing Tarot will help me with my recovery process.

Of course another thing that has proven helpful for my recovery is doing recovery type workbooks. Workbooks help me learn skills as well as build on skills I know that I can build on. Workbooks are very helpful for me.

I don””t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night For Me & Focusing on Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle. I am tired as hell as I haven’t received much sleep due to PTSD and Depression. First and foremost I want to say that I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I have been listening to is Philosophize This. I listened to about two episodes and learned a lot.

I of course read a book about Tarot focusing on those who are begging to learn about tarot. Not only are there books on Tarot but workbooks as well as journals. I am hoping that learning about Tarot can help me with my recovery process. I also hope to do tarot journals and workbooks it hopes to help with my recovery. With learning by reading about Tarot, I hope I can do some card reading on myself and be helpful to other people..

Something I can also do is focus on recovery focused workbooks that focus on mental health challenges and other issues such as eating disorders, self hare and substance use disorders. Workbooks have been quite helpful for me. For some people 12 step programs have been helpful.

Another thing that has been helpful for me is doing mindfulness meditation practice. I feel like practicing mindfulness meditation has been quite grounding for me especially for the challenging crap in my life.

So now to the next thing that will help me with my recovery or at least hopefully help me with my recovery. That is learning and practicing tarot cards. I plan on reading about tarot cards as well as practice tarot cards on myself to help with my own recovery. I als hope to use tarot cards to help with othe peoples recovery.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greaty appretiated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!