Tag Archives: Recovery

Just Another Tuesday

Posted on by Gertie

     Well another Tuesday is about over with and I am exhausted. I am not sure why I am so exhausted because I honestly didn’t do all the much today. I pretty much hung out with my boyfriend all day. We spent our time just being lazy. We worked on a jigsaw puzzle most of the day. We worked on the jigsaw puzzle till I had to go to my volunteer training for the Warm Line.

     I am enjoying the training immensely. I have another listening in shift tomorrow and am looking forward to it. I can not wait till I am actually taking calls on the Warm Line because I want show people hope and that recovery is possible. Volunteering gives me a sense of purpose in this world.

     Speaking volunteering I am looking forward to my volunteer shift  at the homeless shelter tomorrow. I cant wait to see the clients tomorrow. They give me so much joy and they have no idea that they do.

      Volunteering anywhere gives me a sense of purpose and I think it helps me more than it does the people I help. Giving of your time means so much more than giving of money. Yes, money helps but giving of your time means much more to the person or persons that you are helping.

      My boyfriend spending time with me means more to me than how much money he spends on me. I rather him save his money. I love simple lazy days with him like today. I love that we can work on a jigsaw puzzle and be content with it. We don’t have to go out to some fancy restaurant to enjoy each others company. I love my boyfriend with all my heart.

      Speaking of my boyfriend I should get going because I want some cuddling time with him. Cuddling is always an enjoyable event. Well, enjoy the last 1 hour and 7minutes that is left in Tuesday everyone. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace out.

Monday Of Mourning R.I.P Robin Williams

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s another Monday and in all honesty is a Monday of Mourning. As many of you have heard or read; Robin Williams passed away at the age of 63 from a suspected suicide. The news has said that he suffered from Depression but in all actuality he suffered from Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and couple of other things I cannot remember. I waited a few hours after I heard the news about Robin Williams to blog about it because I wasn’t sure what to say. I realize there is really nothing much to say than what others have said however I will share my memories regarding Robin Williams.

     My first memory of Robin Williams is watching reruns of Mork & Mindy on Nick & Nite in the middle of the night as a child. Mork & Mindy helped me through some rough moments when things got really bad with the abuse I suffered as child. Sometimes I wished I was an alien from another planet with a life for that cared. His humor helped me through out my life.

     Robin Williams got me through my childhood with Mork & Mindy while in my late tweens and early teen he got me through with Hook, Aladdin, Fern Gully, and Mrs. Doubtfire. In my mid to late teens the movies The Birdcage, Good Will Hunting, Patch Adams and the discovery of Dead Poets Society helped me through being a teenager. Plus, the numerous other movies he has made through my twenties and into my thirties has touched my life. All the movies I’ve mentioned plus many more I have watched time and again because I know that they help out with some part of my life or just a simple movie night with friends. 

    We all have moments we will remember where we were when we heard the news of something major. For me, Robin William’s death is one of those moments. I had come home and turned on my computer and looked on my Facebook when I heard the news at 4:15pm (pacific time). I found out on Facebook. Robin Williams has had a profound impact on my life. I have met him on several occasions as well as received hand written letters from him. In those letters he encouraged me with my recovery process with my mental health issues. I just wish he was still here so he could encourage others in their recovery process. Robin Williams was a very important person in my life regarding my recovery. Hell, he still is.

    Robin Williams I know you are know longer with us but I know you are somewhere out there reading this. Just know you have had a profound influence on my life. Thank you so much for being a positive influence in my life. Thanks for making me and billions of others laugh till we peed our pant. We will miss you very much. You are so very much loved.

    I am ending this blog in tears. I hope to blog tomorrow about how the rest of today went. I normally don’t cry but I feel like its a good time to cry when a person who influenced your life passes away. Again I hope to blog again tomorrow. I hope the rest of you Monday turns out happier. R.I.P ROBIN WILLIAMS

Not Much To Say Today

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and I am not wanting to go to work today because of how beautiful it is today. Yes, I am going to go work today even if I don’t wana. As much I don’t want to go to work today because its such a lovely day and that I don’t like my job I am going because it helps me a great deal. My current employment has helped me a great deal in my recovery process. My recovery means a great deal to me.

     All I know is that I am eating a fudgsicle and its absolutely tasty. I always make sure I have some chocolate at home because it helps me when I am struggling. Hell, it helps me even when I am not struggling. I feel bad for people who are allergic to chocolate. When people say diamonds are a girls best friend is a liar because for this woman chocolate is my best friend.

     I don’t have much to say today. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I just hope I start getting more followers for my blog. I am kind of disappointed that I only have 14 followers. I shouldn’t be complaining because I’ve only been doing this blogging thing for about 2 1/2 months now.

     I best be going now. I have to get ready to go to work. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a good Sunday everyone. Peace out.

Can It Be Monday Yet?

Posted on by Gertie

     Its another Saturday and I just want Monday to be here. Mondays are my Fridays and I wish Monday would hurry up and get here. Today at work was not an easy day for me for a lot of different reasons. My PTSD symptoms are acting up which doesn’t make work any easier for me especially when some customers have no sense of peoples personal bubbles. Today my bubble was bigger than normal for me. Oh how I hate PTSD. Another thing about today is when I was helping a pregnant woman out to her car she went into labor. Thankfully, another customer when into the store and had someone call 911. Long story short I helped deliver twins today. Who knew that being a courtesy clerk (bagger) at a grocery store that I would be helping with a delivery process again. I really don’t think delivering twins is in my job description. Helping deliver twins today was quite difficult for me. I wish I had the strength to tell you why it was difficult but it was. I do have to say it was amazing though. Birth is an amazing process. I hope some day I will be a mother. Anyway, just helping with the process of somebody delivering their babies in the parking lot was not only amazing but difficult on me and I know when I go see my therapist after work on Monday that we will be discussing helping with the delivery of the customers babies. The customer had a boy and a girl.

      I should get going. I will try to blog again tomorrow before I go to work. Hopefully, I don’t have to deliver anymore babies at work tomorrow. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace Out!!!

It’s Been A Couple Of Days

Posted on by Gertie

     Happy Friday!!! If you are a follower to my blog or a regular reader you are aware that I haven’t blogged in a couple of days. I haven’t blogged for a few reasons. One reason is I wasn’t sure what to blog about another reason I didn’t blog is because I’ve been so busy with life that I exhausted myself and have been too tired to blog.

     Wednesday was the day I had my interview. Thankfully, they didn’t have to reschedule with me again even though it almost got rescheduled again. When I showed up and a couple of the program managers at the agency realized that it was going to be the third time they just interviewed me with anyway even though it wasn’t the right set of interview questions. They felt that if I had rescheduled twice before that the interview should happen anyway. One the interviewers said that if I don’t get the job with program I applied for that they will find the funding for me to have job with there program as a peer and not a consumer aide. So it looks like either way that I might have job. I am hoping that I get the job as a consumer aide.

      I had a listening in shift with the Warm Line on Wednesday and well it was an “unusual day” for calls at the Warm Line. First of all they only received three phone calls that were not hang up calls. Second of all; all three phone calls ended up suicide calls that needed to be transferred to the crisis line. I only listened in on two of those calls. They want me to do another listening in shift so I know what a “typical” shift looks like. A shift usually isn’t so slow nor does it get “crisis” calls. I’m just waiting on when my next listening in shift will be. I guess I will be getting three listening shifts instead of two and that is cool with me. I am looking forward to September when I start being a call taker on the Warm Line.

     Speaking of volunteering, I am looking forward to Wednesday when I volunteer at the homeless shelter. I love my volunteer job at the shelter. The clients at the shelter are known for being difficult to serve because of the severity of their mental illnesses and/or addictions and I love the challenge. If I get the job as a consumer aide I will be a little sad because I cant volunteer and be an employee at the same time with the agency that runs both the shelter and the program I applied and had the interview for. Yes, I want the job however I will miss the clients at the shelter. Again if everything works out the way I hope it does I will be starting the job as a consumer aide the same time I officially will be a call taker on the Warm Line. I know I shouldn’t be getting my hopes up so high but I really want the job even though I will miss volunteer at the shelter.

     As some of you know Fridays are my Mondays and that means I worked today. Today was just a shitty day at work. A day that made me realize I want the hell out of my current employment. Working at grocery store with the same employer for the last 9 years has made me realize that I am meant to be in the mental health field. I don’t like having people yell at me for something I have no control over. Working in a grocery store is NOT my cup of tea.

    Speaking of tea that reminds me that I need to take time out to take care of myself. I am going to go and have a cup of hot tea. Yes, I am having tea on an 80 degree day. Why not? It is a way to take care of myself. I better get going. In all honesty, I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have good weekend everyone. Peace out!!!

A Little Tired To Blog

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s another Tuesday and I am tired as hell. Sorry I haven’t really blogged. I was hoping to blog earlier but I’m just extremely tired. I had several screaming nightmares last night and I am most appreciative that my boyfriend helped me through. I really should be in bed right now because I have a job interview tomorrow.

      I have a job interview tomorrow with the same agency who runs the homeless shelter I volunteer at. Hopefully, they don’t have to reschedule the interview again. If they do I wont be a happy camper because I had to tell the shelter I wouldn’t be there again tomorrow due to the interview being rescheduled. I love volunteering at the homeless shelter. The clients might be considered difficult but I don’t find them difficult. If you treat them with respect they will treat you with respect. I am fearful that they are going to reschedule the interview again. I just don’t want to miss another volunteer shift at the homeless shelter. Volunteering at the shelter gives me a since of purpose.

     Having a since of purpose is huge and I think that is why I am going through the Warm Line Training. In fact I went to training this evening and I am enjoying it. Tomorrow I have my first listening in shift. I wont be doing any talking just listening in to see how the calls are taken and what they are like. We have another listening in shift toward the end of the training as well. I hope I am good enough to be a call taker on the Warm Line.

     If everything works out with getting the job that means I will been ending my volunteer job at the homeless shelter because you cant volunteer and be an employee at the agency but I will be starting the Warm Line about the same time I start the job if I get it. So what I am trying to say as one volunteer job might be coming to an end if I get the job it will work at that I will be starting a new volunteer job. It looks better on a job résumé that way. As much as I don’t want to quit volunteering at the shelter I want the job even more. Even if I don’t get the job volunteering two places looks good on the résumé as well. I just really want the job. Like I said I will have to quit the homeless shelter if I get the job and if I get the job I will be starting to be an official volunteer call taker at the Warm Line. I hope this paragraph is making sense because I am just really tired.

     Since I am really tired I am thinking I should end this blog entry for now. I hope to blog tomorrow regarding both the job interview and the listening shift with the Warm Line. I will not be able to discuss what the callers said due to confidentially. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday evening. Good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!

Getting Into The Mindset Of Another Days Work

Posted on by Gertie

     Its another Sunday morning and I am getting in the mindset of going to work for my shift this afternoon. I am not a big fan of my work shift this afternoon but at least going to work keeps me out of my own head at times. Well most of the time it keeps me out of my head. As much as I don’t like my current employment working at a grocery store for the last 9 years, I cannot deny the fact that it has helped me a great deal in my recovery process. I just hope that I don’t have to unload an entire pallet into our ice cooler again. I am sore from having to do 1 1/2 pallets on Friday and another pallet yesterday. Well at least I got paid for weight lifting. If I have to do another pallet of ice I will be okay with it because it breaks up the monotony of the typical shift.

     Speaking of my shift I should get going because I need to get reading to go to work. I hope to blog tomorrow. I am sorry to have this blog so short but I am sure you my readers it is short since I tend to be so long winded. Again, I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. Peace out.

Great Time With Grandparents

Posted on by Gertie

     Happy Friday!!! It has been a Happy Friday for me even though it is my Monday. After I got off work today I saw my grandparents today. My grandparents came to the city I live in so my grandma could see a Parkinson’s doctor. They live in a rural town and no one around where they live specializes in Parkinson’s so she sees her Parkinson’s doctor in the area I live in. Her appointment went well and the Parkinson’s is progressing slowly. Like I said I saw my grandparents today. They came over to my place and my grandma fixed dinner. She fixe me my favorite dinner of Mac & Cheese, Corn on the Cob, Ham and for dessert Strawberry Shortcake. I love my grandma’s cooking. I was sad when they went back to there hotel. I love them so much. In fact my grandparents helped my dad raise me. My grandparents are going home tomorrow. I wish I was able to spend more time with them.

     I best be going. I just wanted to let you all know how today went. I hopefully will be able to blog again tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone. Peace out.

Just A Brief Blog (I Hope)

Posted on by Gertie

     Happy Thursday!!! I am hoping to keep this particular blog entry brief for a number of reasons. One of those reasons is  that its a beautiful day outside and I want to enjoy it before I go to my volunteer training for the Warm Line.

       I just want to update you on what’s been going on the last couple of days since I didn’t blog yesterday. If you been reading my blog you know I was suppose to have a job interview yesterday. It got rescheduled again. This time it was due to miscommunication with the interviewers. I am a getting a little annoyed with the rescheduling thing. Its next Wednesday at 10am. I was disappointed because I was already on the city bus half way there. Since the interview was rescheduled that means I could go to my volunteer job at the homeless shelter. I emailed the supervisor saying I would be there and she said to come in cause they had to shut it down for the day because of plumbing issues that had to be fixed by the time it was check-in time for the clients to get beds for the night. Thankfully they were able to open for the night. Unfortunately, I am unable to volunteer at the homeless shelter next Wednesday due to the interview being rescheduled for that day. I really hope I get the job because of the interview being rescheduled twice.

     Well, my grandparents are going to be in town later on today because my grandma has an appointment at a Parkinson’s Center because there is no one in near her rural town that specializes in Parkinson’s. I love my grandma dearly. She and my grandfather helped my dad raise me. It saddens me to see my grandma struggle with Parkinson’s.  They wanted to have dinner with me tonight but I cant because of my volunteer training for the Warm Line so I am going to have dinner with them tomorrow. My grandparents are staying at my dads. I am so looking forward to her cooking. I love my grandma’s cooking. I just wish I could have some her cooking  tonight but I have training.

     I am looking forward to my volunteer training for the Warm Line tonight. I am hoping I learn a great deal from this training. The cool thing about volunteering at the Warm Line is that I will be able to take various types of training regarding mental illness, suicide prevention and other such topics. The cool thing is that most of the trainings will be free to me because of me being a volunteer and low income.

     Anyway, I better get going. Like I said I wanted to keep this blog entry brief and unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. Well, have a good Thursday everyone. Peace out!!

Tuesday Night Rambling

Posted on by Gertie

     Today was another beautiful day in the neighborhood. Before I go on about my ramblings I want to tell you about my celebration last night regarding 1,000 day of being out of an inpatient unit. Well it turned out that roughly 50 people showed. Some of the people that were there came as a shock to me because I didn’t realize that cared. It is nice to know so many people care about me and my recovery. The best part was that my own dad was there. It was nice that my dad is supports me in my recovery process.

     Something I did today in regards to recovery was start training for a peer run Warm Line. A Warm Line pretty much always run by Peers. When I say peers I mean people who are in recovery from a mental illness and/or co-occurring disorders. A Warm Line is designed to help others struggling with a mental illness and/or co-occurring disorder. The training for the Warm Line is 5 weeks long at 2 days a week and 4 hours each day. If you do the math that is 40 hours of training before you are a call taker on the Warm Line. I love being of service to people and if being of service to people means volunteering then I am more than happy to volunteer.

     I unfortunately am not going to be able to go to my volunteer job at the homeless shelter tomorrow because I have an interview with another program at the agency that runs the shelter. I don’t like missing my volunteer shifts at the shelter for any reason because I really enjoy volunteering in the shelter. At least missing the shift is for a good reason which is for the interview. My interview is 10 o’clock in the morning and it will last about two hours which why I am not going to make it to my volunteer shift. I wont make from my place and back in time because I would want to change and I take the bus. I really hope I get the job even if that means that I have to quit my volunteer job at the shelter. See I cant be a volunteer and a employee at the same agency even if its in a different program because of conflict of interest and L&I laws. Even though I will be sad to have to quit volunteering at the homeless shelter if I get the job, I really want the job. If I get the job then the volunteer job at the Warm Line couldn’t have come at a better time. I really want this job because its time for a career change for me. Wish me luck with the interview.

     Well, I should get going because I want to be well rested for my interview as well as being as prepared as possible tonight so I am not rushing tomorrow morning. I really don’t like feeling rushed. Its one of the worst feelings one can have.  Anyway, have a good night everyone. Enjoy the rest of you Tuesday night. Peace out!!