At Grandma’s House

Hello, World!!! It’s Sunday afternoon and things aren’t going so well for my grandma. She is having trouble staying awake and talking when she is awake. She still has her sense of humor and laughs at my purple hair. Hell, she doesn’t like my purple hair but thats okay, she’s eighty-eight years old.

Seeing my grandma like this is difficult yet rewarding. Being able to help my family especially my grandparents is rewarding for me because they helped my dad raise me. My grandma was like a mother to me or attempted to be a mother when she wasn’t being a grandma to me.

As difficult as it is right now for me I am doing good self care like blogging and other stuff. I need t get going and help my grandpa out with my grandma. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

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Sunday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t got any sleep however I am looking forward to the day ahead. I am going to be go seeing my grandma later this morning. I love my grandma so much and wish she was not in home hospice care. She is home hospice due Parkinson’s Disease relate issues. It is quite painful to see her this way but at least she is mentally aware of things. She still has her sense of humor. A sense of humor that I will always remember.

As difficult as having my grandma being in hospice this where I know that my DBT skills will come in handy for me. Skills that have been quite helpful for me in the past and will be helpful for me in the present as well as the future.

Art has been helpful for me to express the emotions that are difficult to express while music speaks when words fail. Reading gets me out of my head to help me escape reality for an hour.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing W/Grandma In Hospice Care

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been dealing with my grandma and her being in hospice care. It hasn’t been the easiest ordeal for me or my family. My dad isn’t taking it all that well. I wish I knew how to help him though besides just being a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. He is trying his best to be of support to me as well.

Something that helped today was therapy. I saw Gilbert today. We discussed my grandma and her being in hospice. I just broke down crying and Gilbert gave me a box of Kleenex and let me cry. Sometimes a good cry helps.

Therapy was pretty much the only productive thing I’ve done all day. The other things I have done is blog, color, read and watched TedTalks. Blogging helps me process shit while coloring helps me express emotions. Reading and watching TedTalks help me get out of my head. Maybe I’ll talk about the TedTalks later.

Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

Using Skills To Help Me Through

Good Evening, World!! I’m just getting home from a busy afternoon and evening. I first went and saw my therapist, Gilbert. I am slowly starting to trust him. We discussed how things are changing once again with my treatment team and I’m not sure if I’m okay with it but its something I’ll have to get use to.

We also discussed my grandma and how she is in the hospital. She is in the hospital due to Parkinson’s related health issues. She will be going into hospice care within the next few months and my dad isn’t taking it all that well. My dad is a mama’s boy. Its difficult knowing that my grandma may not make it to the end of 2018.

I should get going and eat dinner. I hope everyone has a wonderful work week. Peace Out, World!!!

How Much Death Can One Person Take?

This is a difficult post to write. It’s difficult to write because it is going to be a post about death. The death of friends and family as well as having to look into putting my grandma into hospice.

This year has not been the easiest of years for me regarding people passing away. It started out when I found out that a close friend died by suicide and was found on New Years Day. I lost a total of eight friends, one cousin and three clients. How much death can one person take?

On top of that I found out my grandma’s doctor’s informed my grandpa that hospice care for my grandma might the best option for her. I was told that she only has six to nine months to live due to Parkinson’s related stuff. It’s never easy to hear that your grandma doesn’t have long to live especially if she helped raise you.

I’m hoping that with the help of my mental health treatment team, I can learn to deal with the grief. Grief of loosing so many people over the last few years.

Thanks for reading my depressing post. Have a great day!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Great Time With Grandparents

     Happy Friday!!! It has been a Happy Friday for me even though it is my Monday. After I got off work today I saw my grandparents today. My grandparents came to the city I live in so my grandma could see a Parkinson’s doctor. They live in a rural town and no one around where they live specializes in Parkinson’s so she sees her Parkinson’s doctor in the area I live in. Her appointment went well and the Parkinson’s is progressing slowly. Like I said I saw my grandparents today. They came over to my place and my grandma fixed dinner. She fixe me my favorite dinner of Mac & Cheese, Corn on the Cob, Ham and for dessert Strawberry Shortcake. I love my grandma’s cooking. I was sad when they went back to there hotel. I love them so much. In fact my grandparents helped my dad raise me. My grandparents are going home tomorrow. I wish I was able to spend more time with them.

     I best be going. I just wanted to let you all know how today went. I hopefully will be able to blog again tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone. Peace out.

Just A Brief Blog (I Hope)

     Happy Thursday!!! I am hoping to keep this particular blog entry brief for a number of reasons. One of those reasons is  that its a beautiful day outside and I want to enjoy it before I go to my volunteer training for the Warm Line.

       I just want to update you on what’s been going on the last couple of days since I didn’t blog yesterday. If you been reading my blog you know I was suppose to have a job interview yesterday. It got rescheduled again. This time it was due to miscommunication with the interviewers. I am a getting a little annoyed with the rescheduling thing. Its next Wednesday at 10am. I was disappointed because I was already on the city bus half way there. Since the interview was rescheduled that means I could go to my volunteer job at the homeless shelter. I emailed the supervisor saying I would be there and she said to come in cause they had to shut it down for the day because of plumbing issues that had to be fixed by the time it was check-in time for the clients to get beds for the night. Thankfully they were able to open for the night. Unfortunately, I am unable to volunteer at the homeless shelter next Wednesday due to the interview being rescheduled for that day. I really hope I get the job because of the interview being rescheduled twice.

     Well, my grandparents are going to be in town later on today because my grandma has an appointment at a Parkinson’s Center because there is no one in near her rural town that specializes in Parkinson’s. I love my grandma dearly. She and my grandfather helped my dad raise me. It saddens me to see my grandma struggle with Parkinson’s.  They wanted to have dinner with me tonight but I cant because of my volunteer training for the Warm Line so I am going to have dinner with them tomorrow. My grandparents are staying at my dads. I am so looking forward to her cooking. I love my grandma’s cooking. I just wish I could have some her cooking  tonight but I have training.

     I am looking forward to my volunteer training for the Warm Line tonight. I am hoping I learn a great deal from this training. The cool thing about volunteering at the Warm Line is that I will be able to take various types of training regarding mental illness, suicide prevention and other such topics. The cool thing is that most of the trainings will be free to me because of me being a volunteer and low income.

     Anyway, I better get going. Like I said I wanted to keep this blog entry brief and unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. Well, have a good Thursday everyone. Peace out!!