Thursday Afternoon Random Thoughts

Hello, World!!! I am now home from the Emergency Room. As I mentioned in my last post I self harmed and took myself to the Emergency Room. I punched a brick wall out of anger and frustration. I didn’t break any bones.

I am going to be reading one of my books. Not sure which one yet. No, I haven’t finished my Star Wars book but I will finish it soon. I am thinking about reading my Buddhist Scriptures.

I think I am going to go read now. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

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Sitting In The Emergency Room (ER)

Hello, World!!! I am sitting in the Emergency Room because I self harmed. I am going to be okay. I am just waiting to talk with the social worker. I might have to talk with my therapist on the phone as well.

The social worker just showed up to talk with me. I need to get going. Have a good day. I will blog again later. Peace Out, World

UGH!!! I’m In The Emergency Room (E.R)

Hello, World!!! I am sitting in the Emergency Room (E.R) because one of my neighbors flipped out and punched me in the face. I will be okay. I am just getting checked out as a precaution.

While I wait, I have been listening to music. Music that has been quite helpful. I have also been reading as well. I have been trying to keep busy as I wait as the E.R has been quite busy.

I should get going. I will update you when I get home or some time tomorrow. Thank you so much for reading!! Peace Out, World!!!

Back From The Emergency Room

Good Morning, World!!! I am back from the emergency room (ER). They gave be some other meds to help me sleep. They want me to try to get sleep without the meds first. I will try to take a nap but wont take the meds till tonight. The doctor wants me to contact my mental health treatment team which I am going to do. I just want to sleep.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Wanting The Oh So Elusive Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! It is now five thirty in the morning for me. I still haven’t gotten any sleep. Sleep that I am desperately wanting and needing. I finally took some Ambien and it didn’t fucking work. It usually does and it is frustrating the hell out of me that I can not get some fucking sleep.

I am so frustrated that it is putting me in crisis mode. Enough of a crisis mode that once I am done blogging, I am going to take myself to the Emergency Room (E.R). I will be okay, I just need someone to fucking hear me on how fucking frustrating getting no sleep is. Right now I think going to the E.R is the best bet. I don’t want to concern you all. I just wanted to let you know what is going on. I know I will be okay, I just need to get the sleep thing taken care of.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Home From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Good Evening, World!!! I am home from the Emergency Room (E.R). I went to the E.R because I self harmed again. I ended up getting stitches. While in the E.R I used my coping skills. I ended up doing some are work. Specifically, I colored mandala’s. The nurses and social work were impressed with my color scheme of the mandala’s.

The social worker on duty asked what let me to self harm this time and I explained that I dissociated and that is when I self harmed. Dissociation is a problem for me and when I self harm while dissociated it makes it that much worse for me.

Now that I am home, I will be working on one of my workbooks. Not sure which one yet but I will do one. I have found that workbooks help me with my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I do self help workbooks to help myself and my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace out, World!!!

Blogging From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Hello, World!!! As I sit here blogging, I am writing from my laptop on gurney in hallway of an Emergency Room. The reason why I am writing from the Emergency Room is because I ended up self-harming again. I will share what type of self-harm in a later post as I don’t want to trigger anyone at the moment. To be honest with you, I am shocked as hell that the E.R staff are letting me blog at the moment. Maybe it is because they know I won’t do anything to harm myself any further than I have already.

I did use my coping skills box before I self harmed. It did help when I was using my coping skills yet I stopped using them and self harmed. It just proves to me if I use my coping skills I can go without self-harm.

I just wish recovery didn’t have so many relapses. It is non-linear and most definitely  not a straight line. Although it would be easier if it were a straight line. I do have to say this will make me a stronger person even if I don’t want it to.

Thank you for reading. I hope to update you later. Peace Out, World!!!