Thursday Afternoon Random Thoughts

Hello, World!!! I am now home from the Emergency Room. As I mentioned in my last post I self harmed and took myself to the Emergency Room. I punched a brick wall out of anger and frustration. I didn’t break any bones.

I am going to be reading one of my books. Not sure which one yet. No, I haven’t finished my Star Wars book but I will finish it soon. I am thinking about reading my Buddhist Scriptures.

I think I am going to go read now. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

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Sitting In The Emergency Room (ER)

Hello, World!!! I am sitting in the Emergency Room because I self harmed. I am going to be okay. I am just waiting to talk with the social worker. I might have to talk with my therapist on the phone as well.

The social worker just showed up to talk with me. I need to get going. Have a good day. I will blog again later. Peace Out, World

UGH!!! I’m In The Emergency Room (E.R)

Hello, World!!! I am sitting in the Emergency Room (E.R) because one of my neighbors flipped out and punched me in the face. I will be okay. I am just getting checked out as a precaution.

While I wait, I have been listening to music. Music that has been quite helpful. I have also been reading as well. I have been trying to keep busy as I wait as the E.R has been quite busy.

I should get going. I will update you when I get home or some time tomorrow. Thank you so much for reading!! Peace Out, World!!!

Back From The Emergency Room

Good Morning, World!!! I am back from the emergency room (ER). They gave be some other meds to help me sleep. They want me to try to get sleep without the meds first. I will try to take a nap but wont take the meds till tonight. The doctor wants me to contact my mental health treatment team which I am going to do. I just want to sleep.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Wanting The Oh So Elusive Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! It is now five thirty in the morning for me. I still haven’t gotten any sleep. Sleep that I am desperately wanting and needing. I finally took some Ambien and it didn’t fucking work. It usually does and it is frustrating the hell out of me that I can not get some fucking sleep.

I am so frustrated that it is putting me in crisis mode. Enough of a crisis mode that once I am done blogging, I am going to take myself to the Emergency Room (E.R). I will be okay, I just need someone to fucking hear me on how fucking frustrating getting no sleep is. Right now I think going to the E.R is the best bet. I don’t want to concern you all. I just wanted to let you know what is going on. I know I will be okay, I just need to get the sleep thing taken care of.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Hello, World!!! As I sit here blogging, I am writing from my laptop on gurney in hallway of an Emergency Room. The reason why I am writing from the Emergency Room is because I ended up self-harming again. I will share what type of self-harm in a later post as I don’t want to trigger anyone at the moment. To be honest with you, I am shocked as hell that the E.R staff are letting me blog at the moment. Maybe it is because they know I won’t do anything to harm myself any further than I have already.

I did use my coping skills box before I self harmed. It did help when I was using my coping skills yet I stopped using them and self harmed. It just proves to me if I use my coping skills I can go without self-harm.

I just wish recovery didn’t have so many relapses. It is non-linear and most definitely  not a straight line. Although it would be easier if it were a straight line. I do have to say this will make me a stronger person even if I don’t want it to.

Thank you for reading. I hope to update you later. Peace Out, World!!!

An Emergency Room (E.R) Post

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am sitting in the emergency room (E.R) in pain and typing with one hand as I hit a brick wall. I hit a brick wall because I was feeling high anxiety as well as fear. I was feeling his way because of PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that were and are quite overwhelming.

Symptoms that I will be discussing with my therapist today when I see him. I’ll also be discussing my self harm actions. Actions that need to be discussed as I didn’t reach out to anybody when I first had urges to self harm this morning.

I did attempt to use my DBT skills. First of all I blogged. After posting my last post I ended up reading my book. Both blogging and reading helped but I obviously needed to reach out to somebody and/or needed to use more skills so I wouldn’t have punched a brick wall.

I should get going as I am in the emergency room getting my hand looked at. I’ll post again later. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World