Tag Archives: Anorexia

It’s Been A Good Tuesday

Posted on by Gertie

Hey!! It’s another Tuesday!! Today, didn’t start off in the most desirable way. I woke up with a nightmare. Not the way anyone wants to start off their day. Apparently and unfortunately it was a screaming nightmare. I found this out when the police showed up at my door. Once again, I was highly embarrassed that they were called and that I disturbed my neighbors again due to the PTSD I struggle with on the daily (and nightly) basis. The police did their jobs and thanked me for understanding. When the police left, I decided to stay up and get ready for the day.

As I was getting ready for my day my boyfriend called me to make plans for the day. I was more than pleased that we made plans because having such a rude awaking from a nightmare can cause my day to be rocky. We made plans to meet up Downtown to have lunch after his doctors appointment. So I met up with my boyfriend and we decided to go to Johnny Rockets. I love the atmosphere of Johnny Rockets and their food is absolutely awesome. I had the Houston while my boyfriend had the Smoke House Double and we shared a Chocolate Shake. As, we ate we made plans to do with the rest of our day.

After we ate we walked around the Downtown area of the city we live in. We decided to go into Barnes & Noble to look around. There I bought three books. In fact all three book are classics and I personally think they are books that I should have been assigned to read in school despite being in a special education English class. (Don’t get me started on the education I received in high school or the lack there of it.) It is my humble opinion that even though I was in a Special Ed English class I should have been required to read the three books that I bought today. The books I bought today are: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. I love to read and enjoy it immensely despite having dyslexia and other reading issues. After buying books we decided to come home to his place.

When we arrived to his place we worked on a jigsaw puzzle together. We both love to do jigsaw puzzles. After that we both decided to read. I of course picked up the book that I am currently reading. The that I am reading is The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness by Elyn R. Saks. The book is a memoir of Elyn R. Saks life. She writes about her struggle with Schizophrenia and her struggle with the illness as well as her recovery and how her education helped her through her struggle. While I was reading my mom called from my little brother’s place.

When my mom calls that means it’s 6pm on Tuesday. I had to set a specific time for her to call because she would (and still tries to) call me multiple times a day. I talked with her. Thankfully, she wasn’t as full as drama as she usually is. I think the reason being is because she was over at my little brother place. My little brother and I extremely close despite our 11 year age difference. He is my hero. He too struggles with his own disabilities but I wont share them here unless I have his permission. Since my mom was at my brothers place I talked to him as well. I love his sense of humor. After about an hour of talking to my mom and brother I decided to call my dad and talked with him for about a half an hour.

After my conversation ended with my dad at 7:30pm (Pacific Time), Josh asked what I wanted to eat. We agreed on Spaghetti, so he is started fixing dinner as I blog. The spaghetti sure smells great. My boyfriend is an awesome cook. His food is almost as good as my grandmas food. Of course nobodies food is ever as good as grandmas food. Well I better end this entry and help my boyfriend finish dinner since it is now 8:07pm (Pacific Time). Have good rest of your evening, night or day wherever you maybe in the world.

The Typical Week For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Hey!! Happy Monday! I just want to share with you guys what a typical week looks like for me. I’m doing this in hopes to have you the reader/follower get to know me better especially since I am new to the blogging thing. It is my goal for this particular entry to show “normal” people that they encounter people who struggle with mental illness on the daily basis even if they may not be aware of it. Mental illness is a hidden disability that many “normal” people don’t realize that they encounter people who struggle with a mental illness while they are going about their daily activities. I also hope that this post can show “normal” people that people who live with a mental illness are not lazy and live a productive life. Another goal for this particular entry it to show those who struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible and that their is hope.

SIDE NOTE (info relevant for this post):

I work at a major grocery store chain as a courtesy clerk. A courtesy clerk is a bagger or box boy or in my case a box woman. A courtesy clerk bags groceries, cleans, brings in the carts, helps customers out to their cars, price checks, helps customers find items and is basically the peon of the store and gets all the disgusting jobs to do. All times I post are Pacific Time.

For me this is what a typical week looks like.

SUNDAY:

On Sundays, I sleep in and take it easy in the morning. As of lately I’ve been working the early afternoon to evening shift at work. Most Sundays I’m the closing courtesy clerk. Closing courtesy clerks tend to have more responsibilities than other courtesy clerks do. My Sunday afternoon/evening shifts are usually my longest shifts and they seem to go by more quickly than my other shifts at work. The reason being is because that’s when the particular store I work at is the busiest with customers.

MONDAY:

I am the opening courtesy clerk on Mondays. Opening courtesy clerks have the most responsibility than the other courtesy clerks including the closing courtesy clerks. I am usually off by 11am on Mondays which is great because Mondays happen to be my Fridays. When everyone else dreads Mondays, I look forward to them. When I get off on Mondays, I go home and watch the 12noon news and have a small snack. I also use Monday afternoons to make doctor appointments since it is the start of my weekend. I also usually do my laundry on Mondays so I can just get it out of the way and enjoy my weekend.

TUESDAY:

Tuesdays are the days I don’t have anything scheduled or planned. I keep Tuesdays open to do errands if I have any to do as well as to make appointments for the dentist or doctor. Most Tuesdays I end up with nothing scheduled or planned and that’s not always a good thing especially when its a difficult time of year for me regarding my particular diagnosis of the mental illness I deal with. That’s why I end up doing things I enjoy. When the weather is good I usually go someplace where I can be outside preferably by a body of water. That way I can people watch or read. Most of the time I end up reading and on occasion I cross-stitch. Yes, I cross-stitch. I also go to a local comic book store and get the latest Wonder Woman issue. If I already have the issue, I look around and get an issue that I don’t have. If the weather is not so good, I end up doing indoor things such as going to the movies or going to Gameworks. Gameworks is an arcade. I also usually do my weekly grocery shopping done on Tuesday. I also talk to my mother at 6pm every Tuesday. I had give her some boundaries on when she could call me for reasons you will find out in later blogs.

WEDNESDAYS:

Mornings are usually nice and relaxing. My boyfriend and I go and have lunch with one or both of his parents. There are times where both of his parents are working but that’s rare. Even when my boyfriend is working I go and have lunch with his parents. After lunch I go volunteer at a local homeless shelter. There is the occasional Wednesday morning that I will go see my psychiatrist or in my case psychiatric ARNP. After my volunteer job I go to local mom and pop video rental store and rent movies to watch throughout the week. It’s 2 for 1 meaning rent 2 movies for the price of 1.

THURSDAYS:

Thursday mornings are sometimes high anxiety for me because I see my therapist in the early afternoon for an hour. Although, the next two months or so the day I see my therapist is going to change I am already thinking of what to schedule for Thursdays. Since, Thursday mornings are sometimes anxiety provoking my boyfriend and I go walking around a local man-built lake which is 3.3 miles around. We even do it on Thursdays my boyfriend have to work. I then head off to my appointment. Before my appointment I eat lunch at nearby salad place where my appointment is. After my therapy appointment I usually take it easy because therapy and talking about shit is not easy.

FRIDAYS:

I work Fridays. In fact once again I am the opening courtesy clerk. When most everyone else gets excited about Fridays, I dread them because they are my Mondays. I am usually of no later than 1pm on Fridays. Friday evenings I end up going to dinner parties at friends places when I am not hosting them at my place or my boyfriends place.

SATURDAYS:

I again work on Saturdays and once again I am the opening courtesy clerk. I’m usually off by 12:30pm. After work on Saturdays, I usually go to lunch with an old high school friend who teaches high school English. It’s always nice to hang out with good friends.

EVERYDAY:

There are things that I do everyday that I did not mention in the particular days. I spend an hour everyday practicing my flute. I also spend about 45minutes teaching myself how to play the harmonica. I read about 3 to 7 chapters(depending the length) a day in the book I happen to be reading as well as at least 1 comic book. I cross-stitch at least a 1/2 an hour a day.

I hope that my goals for this blog become successful. I also hope that I have shown to “normal” people that they come into contact mentally ill people everyday who don’t appear or act “crazy.” I am sorry that I was so long winded. Have a good Monday everyone.

Introduction To Gertie’s Journey

Posted on by Gertie

Hey, I’m Gertie!!!! I’m new to this blogging thing and have absolutely no clue on what the hell I’m doing, especially since I accidently permanently deleted my very first blog which was under the same title. I just hope I can come as close as possible to what I said in my original first blog. With all that being said lets start by with me telling you the two main reasons why I am starting this blog. The first reason why I’m starting this blog is to educate “normal” (whatever the hell “normal” means) people on what it’s like to struggle with a mental illness on the daily basis. Not only that, but to show “normal” people that people who deal or struggle with a mental illness can be and is a productive member of society. Every person who struggles or deals with a mental illness has there own way of being a productive member of society just like “normal” people do. Yes, that means I personally struggle with a mental illness. It is my hope that if “normal” people read this that I will help stop the judgments that they may have about the mentally ill. If I help stop judgments regarding the mentally ill then maybe just may the stigma that goes along with mental illness will start to be eliminated. I want to eliminate that stigma. The second reason why I am starting this blog is to show those who do struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible and that their is hope. Hope is key to the recovery process. I don’t want those who struggle with mental illness to think that they are alone in their struggles. Unfortunately, having a diagnosis of a mental illness is a life long battle however there are a handful of diagnosis that you can not longer meet the criteria for. If I was told correctly it’s most (not all) of the personality disorders. I know this because I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I tell you this because there is hope and recovery is possible. Now that I have gotten off topic, which I do quite often, let get back on the topic of the introduction to this blog.

As I told you earlier, I am Gertie. No, Gertie is not my real name. Gertie is a nickname that I received in the third grade. How did you get your nickname, you ask. When I was in Brownies (Girl Scouts) their were three of us with the same name. (We were also in the same grade at the same school.) My troop leaders decided they would give me a nickname and was happy to get one. In fact my troop leaders got the idea of my nickname from my last name. The nickname they wanted to give me was Gertrude(which is not my last name) but I told them I wasn’t having it. Well, I told them, “Gertrude sounds like a name of an old fogey.” My troop leaders as well as my troop laughed at that statement when one of my troop leaders asked “how bout Gertie?” I smiled, shrouded my shoulders and said “oaky dokie, artichokie.” That meant I was okay with the nickname Gertie. I chose Gertie’s Journey as a title to name my blog because I’m Gertie and it’s my journey. Plus, Gertie seems to have a better ringtone to the word journey than my given name would. I also chose Gertie’s Journey because I want to be as anonymous as possible because of the stigma that goes along with having a mental illness. Since I’ve gone by my given name during my adulthood (Side Note: Their is one exception to this and that’s when I was a young adult and will be explained at some point in time), I figured Gertie was a safe nickname to use. Plus I like the ring that goes with Gertie’s Journey. I said that already, didn’t I. See, I told you I get off topic and as you can read, I am long winded. Now back to the topic of the Introduction to Gertie’s Journey.

As a thirty-something I’ve realized that I may not be where I want to be career wise but I have figured out who I am and what I am meant to be in this life. See, we as humans, finally figure out in our early thirties, hopefully, who we are and our place in this world. We also figure out what we are passionate about. I know what I am passionate about. I am passionate about mental health advocacy and recovery. Yes, I am passionate about it because of my own struggle with mental illness as well as having family members who struggle with a mental illness. I think my passion for mental health is the reason why I want to go into the field of mental health as a Peer Support Specialist or Peer Counselor. (Side Note: I will definitely explain in a later blog what a Peer Counselor is). I know I am meant to be a Peer Counselor even though I don’t have a job (or career) as one yet even though I do have the certification.  Yes, I have applied to jobs to become one and even have had interviews but no job offers as of yet.  Even though I have not been offered a job as a peer I will NOT let it get me down. I am too far in my recovery to let it get me down. I am passionate about mental health because I want to help eliminate the stigma of mental illness. I hope someday in my lifetime that there will be no more stigma attached to mental illness but realize that is not likely. I figure if I can educate just one “normal” person about mental illness then I’ve done my job and maybe just maybe a domino affect will happen.  Educating just one person will help with the elimination of stigma that goes with mental illness. I’m just as passionate about mental health recovery. Recovery is a core aspect of being a Peer Counselor. If it weren’t for my recovery with dealing with my mental illness this blog would never have been started. I’ve realized that I’ve become off topic once again as well as being long winded.

Since, I’ve been so long winded I’ve decided to end this blog entry. I don’t want you the reader to become bored or uninterested with my blogging. Plus, I’m sure in time with my future blogs that you will get to know me. I hope I have not bored you to death with my blog and hope that you continue to read. I hope to get you interested enough that you follow my blog. Until next time, have a good day or night or whatever the case maybe in whatever part of the world you may be in.