Loving My Coping Skills Box

Good Evening, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop slightly depressed. I can’t blame the weather on my depression today as it is sunny outside. It’s a wee bit chilly but beautiful day.

As my depression acts up this is when I use my coping skills to make sure it doesn’t get worse or at least give it a try that it doesn’t get worse. In fact I used my coping skills box to help myself. One of the skills I used was Sudoku. I also did some cross-stitching and feeling like I am making some progress with it.

After I am done blogging, I am going to go and read. I’ll probably go to the local park and read. There is something special about reading outside. Reading appears to be helping me a great deal lately. Maybe it is because things are starting to get better that I am able to concentrate on reading.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

My Coping Skills Box

Hello, World!!! As I sit here at my laptop I’m thinking about my coping and the suggested therapy homework my therapist gave me yesterday during our session. The reason he suggested it is because it is an art project that he thought I would like to do. An art project that would help me in the long run. So, I decided to start making one last night. In fact I just finished and all I have to do is put coping skill stuff that will fit into it. I am happy that the coping skill box was an art project.

An art project that will help me help myself. I am going to be putting two stand alone books in the box. Stand alone books that are known to be what people call “eye candy” or “easy reads” because sometimes that is what is needed. I am going putting both Sudoku and Logic puzzles in my box to help me get out of emotional mind and think wisely. I also will be putting in some affirmations in the box to tell myself. I will be also putting in some cross stitch items as well.

When I need to use my coping skills box, I will have a plethora of choices to choose from. Having choices is always a good thing especially when you are needing ways on what to do when you are coping. Coping with undesired and intense emotions and/or urges.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Cross Stitch
  • Color
  • Basically be lazy all day

Monday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art Group

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Therapy /Case management

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Not quite sure quite yet

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • See Psych ARNP
  • Clean Apartment

Friday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Again, another day with nothing really planned

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Cross Stitch
  • Be lazy

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I should be volunteering however I am still dealing with the grief of loosing my grandma. I miss her very much.

Besides dealing with grief all week, I’ve been busy. Busy doing attempting to be a productive individual in society. Society that expect me to be doing well but I am not or least not where I want to be.

The week started out with me meeting with Gilbert (now old therapist), my now old case manager and my new clinician. It was interesting. Interesting in the fact I am not sure how this is going to play out for me therapeutically.

I have also been reading my book off and on this week and am grateful to have the time to read. I am enjoying the book I am reading.

Most importantly I am starting up cross stitching again. It is helping me with my depression symptoms. Cross stitching and reading is something I have been doing most of the day as it’s even too rainy for us Seattleites.

Now I am going to watch movies from my childhood and binge eat on stack food. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

A Rainless Day In Seattle, It Is Not

Good Evening, World!!! It is a yucky weather day here in Seattle. The rain has stopped for now as pictured below. Yes, the ground is wet and the sky is grey but at least no rain for now. See picture below.IMG_0340.JPG

Something I did today was work on my stamped cross stitch. It is cross stitch where the pattern is stamped already to the fabric. Which is different from counted cross stitch. It is that of a skull. Kind reminds me of Day of the Dead skull. As you can tell from the picture below I’ve only done the red part of the eye on the left.

IMG_0336

I also read quite a bit today. I am grateful for days like today. I was pretty much able to be lazy for a good portion of it. I was able to cross stitch and read after getting food from the grocery store and farmers market earlier in the day. I love it when I get chores done early than I expect.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!!.

 

 

Nap + Dinner = Better Mood

Good Evening, World!!! I’m in a slightly better mood than I was when I posted my last post. I owe it to being able to sleep due to taking a nap and eating dinner. Sleep and food always equals a better mood or at least it is for me. I had boxed mac and cheese for dinner. Not the best meal but hey it is comfort food. Comfort food is always a good thing.

I got my order from Amazon today. I got a cross-stitch pattern that I’ve been wanting to do. I am teaching myself to cross-stitch. I have found that is has been helpful when I’ve done a cross-stitch pattern before. So why not get back into it and continue to teach myself to cross-stitch.

Another thing I got from Amazon was yet another workbook. For me being able to help myself with my recovery is very satisfying. Yes, I still get professional help but being able to help myself is a good feeling.

Thanks for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Good Morning!!

     Good Morning!! It’s Tuesday and I need to figure out what to do today. Structure is a good thing for me. Although staying home and being lazy sounds like a good idea. Maybe its because the weather isn’t so great today. I think it might be one of those days that I will spend the day with my boyfriend watching movies and doing jigsaw puzzles. I love jigsaw puzzles. I might even start on a new cross-stitching project today. I of course will continue to read A Tale Of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I am truly enjoying A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.

      Well I’m going to end this particular blog entry so I can go out and enjoy the day with whatever I may do. Have an awesome Tuesday everyone. Peace out and enjoy your day.

Full Moon Friday The 13th 2014

     Happy Full Moon Friday the 13th!! A full moon landing on Friday the 13th is a pretty uncommon but cool occurrence. The next time a full moon will on Friday the 13th will Friday, August 13, 2049. That’s 35 years away.

     Well, as some of you may be aware with reading my blog I work Fridays. Fridays are my Mondays. I didn’t have a good day at work. I had a co-worker tell me today, “you’re a nobody,” when I was taking a break. My eyes filled with tears and I said, “you’re right I am a nobody.” The look on his face was an oh shit what did I say look. The tears in my eyes were real and what he said to me triggered me greatly. It not only triggered my PTSD but some of the old tapes in my head. After splashing some water on my face I apologized to him for allowing him to get to me and that I would never tell anybody that they are a nobody. My break finished and I went back to work. Apparently he told on himself and told his department manager who told the store manager. So the four of us had a meeting. My co-worker apologized and I accepted it. The store manager asked why I didn’t notify him on what my co-worker said to me. I told the store manager that I didn’t report it to him because I didn’t think it was warranted. My co-worker looked and me and said, “It takes a lot for you to cry and if someone says something that makes you tear up then you should report it. That’s why I tattled on myself because I made you tear up.” I am just grateful that we got it taken care of. I shunned it off as it being Friday the 13th and a full moon.

     When I got home from work I realized that I felt like cutting myself due to being triggered so I took a nice like shower. After the shower I then finished up a cross-stitch project that I was doing. After I was done with the cross-stitch I put it away because I want to frame it and give it to my grandparents. (Side note: My grandparents helped raised me.) So when I put up my finished cross-stitching project for my grandparents I read a Wonder Woman comic book.

     I read the Wonder Woman comic because somehow it gives me a source of strength. I’m not sure why reading Wonder Woman gives me a source of strength but it does. She is the ultimate superhero. For the longest time she was the only female superhero. I wish that she wasn’t the only superhero girls had in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and even part of the 80’s but am grateful that she was there for us “girls” now women. I thank the feminist movement for making sure she stayed around.

     After I finished my Wonder Woman comic book I picked up the book, The Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I read the first 11 pages and realized that I was hungry. I fixed me some left overs and ate. After eating I read another 10 or so pages when I decided blog this particular entry. So far I am enjoying The Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.

    Just so you all know that because I used the skills I learned I did NOT self harm. I think I was triggered to cut because of what was said to me at work earlier today. I am grateful that I used my skills to help me through the urges to self harm. My recovery means the world to me. Now what to do after I am done with this particular blog entry.

    Since I am planning on ending this particular blog entry I am think I am going to look for jobs in the peer support specialist/peer counseling because I am not working in a grocery store has never been my career path. I never thought I would still be working at a grocery store for nine years. So part of my plans for the rest of the evening is to look to see if there are any positions for peer support specialist/peer counseling. I know I am meant to be a peer counselor.

    Well, now that I bored you with my day I am going to end this blog entry. Have a great Full Moon Friday The 13th. Peace out and have out their in the world.

The Typical Week For Me

Hey!! Happy Monday! I just want to share with you guys what a typical week looks like for me. I’m doing this in hopes to have you the reader/follower get to know me better especially since I am new to the blogging thing. It is my goal for this particular entry to show “normal” people that they encounter people who struggle with mental illness on the daily basis even if they may not be aware of it. Mental illness is a hidden disability that many “normal” people don’t realize that they encounter people who struggle with a mental illness while they are going about their daily activities. I also hope that this post can show “normal” people that people who live with a mental illness are not lazy and live a productive life. Another goal for this particular entry it to show those who struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible and that their is hope.

SIDE NOTE (info relevant for this post):

I work at a major grocery store chain as a courtesy clerk. A courtesy clerk is a bagger or box boy or in my case a box woman. A courtesy clerk bags groceries, cleans, brings in the carts, helps customers out to their cars, price checks, helps customers find items and is basically the peon of the store and gets all the disgusting jobs to do. All times I post are Pacific Time.

For me this is what a typical week looks like.

SUNDAY:

On Sundays, I sleep in and take it easy in the morning. As of lately I’ve been working the early afternoon to evening shift at work. Most Sundays I’m the closing courtesy clerk. Closing courtesy clerks tend to have more responsibilities than other courtesy clerks do. My Sunday afternoon/evening shifts are usually my longest shifts and they seem to go by more quickly than my other shifts at work. The reason being is because that’s when the particular store I work at is the busiest with customers.

MONDAY:

I am the opening courtesy clerk on Mondays. Opening courtesy clerks have the most responsibility than the other courtesy clerks including the closing courtesy clerks. I am usually off by 11am on Mondays which is great because Mondays happen to be my Fridays. When everyone else dreads Mondays, I look forward to them. When I get off on Mondays, I go home and watch the 12noon news and have a small snack. I also use Monday afternoons to make doctor appointments since it is the start of my weekend. I also usually do my laundry on Mondays so I can just get it out of the way and enjoy my weekend.

TUESDAY:

Tuesdays are the days I don’t have anything scheduled or planned. I keep Tuesdays open to do errands if I have any to do as well as to make appointments for the dentist or doctor. Most Tuesdays I end up with nothing scheduled or planned and that’s not always a good thing especially when its a difficult time of year for me regarding my particular diagnosis of the mental illness I deal with. That’s why I end up doing things I enjoy. When the weather is good I usually go someplace where I can be outside preferably by a body of water. That way I can people watch or read. Most of the time I end up reading and on occasion I cross-stitch. Yes, I cross-stitch. I also go to a local comic book store and get the latest Wonder Woman issue. If I already have the issue, I look around and get an issue that I don’t have. If the weather is not so good, I end up doing indoor things such as going to the movies or going to Gameworks. Gameworks is an arcade. I also usually do my weekly grocery shopping done on Tuesday. I also talk to my mother at 6pm every Tuesday. I had give her some boundaries on when she could call me for reasons you will find out in later blogs.

WEDNESDAYS:

Mornings are usually nice and relaxing. My boyfriend and I go and have lunch with one or both of his parents. There are times where both of his parents are working but that’s rare. Even when my boyfriend is working I go and have lunch with his parents. After lunch I go volunteer at a local homeless shelter. There is the occasional Wednesday morning that I will go see my psychiatrist or in my case psychiatric ARNP. After my volunteer job I go to local mom and pop video rental store and rent movies to watch throughout the week. It’s 2 for 1 meaning rent 2 movies for the price of 1.

THURSDAYS:

Thursday mornings are sometimes high anxiety for me because I see my therapist in the early afternoon for an hour. Although, the next two months or so the day I see my therapist is going to change I am already thinking of what to schedule for Thursdays. Since, Thursday mornings are sometimes anxiety provoking my boyfriend and I go walking around a local man-built lake which is 3.3 miles around. We even do it on Thursdays my boyfriend have to work. I then head off to my appointment. Before my appointment I eat lunch at nearby salad place where my appointment is. After my therapy appointment I usually take it easy because therapy and talking about shit is not easy.

FRIDAYS:

I work Fridays. In fact once again I am the opening courtesy clerk. When most everyone else gets excited about Fridays, I dread them because they are my Mondays. I am usually of no later than 1pm on Fridays. Friday evenings I end up going to dinner parties at friends places when I am not hosting them at my place or my boyfriends place.

SATURDAYS:

I again work on Saturdays and once again I am the opening courtesy clerk. I’m usually off by 12:30pm. After work on Saturdays, I usually go to lunch with an old high school friend who teaches high school English. It’s always nice to hang out with good friends.

EVERYDAY:

There are things that I do everyday that I did not mention in the particular days. I spend an hour everyday practicing my flute. I also spend about 45minutes teaching myself how to play the harmonica. I read about 3 to 7 chapters(depending the length) a day in the book I happen to be reading as well as at least 1 comic book. I cross-stitch at least a 1/2 an hour a day.

I hope that my goals for this blog become successful. I also hope that I have shown to “normal” people that they come into contact mentally ill people everyday who don’t appear or act “crazy.” I am sorry that I was so long winded. Have a good Monday everyone.