Tag Archives: Books

Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a day at work. In fact I am still technically working but I am finishing up some work at home. I am grateful to be finishing up my day at home doing not so fun paperwork. I just want to update you on my corrective action plan (CAP). I did not have the meeting today due to my union representative not being able to attend. I am sad it didn’t happen because I just want it done and over with. I am thankful it didn’t happen because it was my first day back from my second medical leave after the recent trauma I experienced.

The weather today here in Seattle is typical weather for the time of year which is yucky. The weather being yucky means making sure I have an extra pair of shoes and some extra socks with me. The reason being is my shoes tend to get soaking wet especially since my job requires me to do most of my work outreaching clients and I take public transportation.

After I am done doing work paperwork from home, I am going to continue cuddling with my cat, Billie and read. I am going to first read and work on the first step of the twelve step program I am in. I am then going to read Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. I am also reading another book but I am putting that one on hold for the moment.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Noon Time Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, Word!!! I am worried about going back to work tomorrow. One of the reasons is because I will be turning in my resignation as my job is not the right fit for me at the moment even though I love my job. Another reason is because I will be receiving a corrective action plan (CAP) on a couple of things that revolve around my annual review that was done three and half months early. Normally, I would just own up to whatever the CAP is about but I have been asking every time, I have supervision what I can work on and didn’t really receive feedback with the exception of my issues with adaptability. I am not going to argue about my issues with adaptability as this is something I have had issues with since I was a kid due to a disability.

Since I am so worried about work tomorrow, I have been attempting to distract myself from this particular worry. I have been doing some artwork. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring as I listen to music. It seems like that listening to music as I color is quite soothing for me.

Not only have I been coloring as I listen to music, I have been reading. I am reading a horror book as it is one of my favorite genres as well as it being Halloween time. I am reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. So far I am enjoying the book.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Dinner with my family

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Breakfast with grandpa
  • Work
  • Read

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Meeting with sponsor
  • Read
  • Work on workbook (TBD)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Read

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle times
  • Go to the U-District Farmers Market with friends
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Read
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Lunch with friends
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1

Too Awake to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am way too wake to sleep or as other people would say, I am wide awake. I am wide awake partly because of insomnia and the other reason is because I ended up taking a late nap that lasted about three hours. Yes, I have attempted to sleep but I am unable to.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have been keeping myself busy. I have attended two online twelve step meetings. Ironically, both meetings focused on step one. I say ironically because my sponsor and I started doing step work together and I am working on step one. I really enjoy attending the twelve step meetings as they are quite helpful for me and my recovery.

Attending online twelve step meetings and working on step is not the only way I have been working on my recovery. The other way I have been working on my recovery is doing recovery based and skills based workbooks. Doing workbooks helps me build upon the skills I already have and reinforce the skills that I already have.

I have also done other stuff besides recovery focused stuff. One thing I have been doing is reading. I am currently reading two books but the book I have been reading tonight is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Since it was Friday the 13th and Halloween is coming up, I decided to read a horror book. I am really enjoying Pet Cemetery.

Not only have I been reading but I have been doing some artwork. The type of artwork I have been doing is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and I am coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. As I colored I listened to some music. I listened to my childhood playlist. My childhood play list consist of music that I listened to that brings back happy memories.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I sadly woke up from a stupid nightmare and wish the PTSD would just go away. I realize that sadly, the nightmares and the rest of PTSD symptoms will not go away.

Since I woke up from a stupid nightmare, I have decided to read. I am going to read because it is a great distraction and I love to read. Plus, when I read, my cat, Billie, lays on my lap. So, I get the unconditional love of my cat laying on my lap as I read.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I don’t know how to feel right now. Depression is hitting me hard tonight but at least I got some sleep in earlier. Even though I only got about four hours of sleep I am grateful for the much needed sleep as I was tired. Hell, I am still tired which is why I am probably slightly depressed.

Depression sucks but at least I know how to help myself. One of the things I have been doing is some step work. Specifically, I am working on step one. I really like the fact that the twelve step program I am in has its own twelve step work book. My sponsor is willing to go at my own pace working on the steps as she knows how challenging doing the steps can be.

Since the steps can be hard to do, I’ve done some self care. One of the forms of self care that I have done is to read. I have decided to switch books to read. I am now reading Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far the book is good but I am only thirty pages into the book.

I also have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring to some music. As I color I have been listening to my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. I love being able to color as I listen to music.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have had a sleepless in Seattle type of night and it sucks. It sucks that I haven’t been able to sleep very well as of the last week. I think the reason I could not sleep tonight was mainly due to insomnia and the anxiety related to PTSD I struggle with. The anxiety got so bad because of PTSD that I need to take some anti-anxiety meds.

Meds that helped me do some stuff to help get through the night. Stuff like attending an online twelve step meeting which I have been enjoying immensely. I am glad that this is a healthy and safe thing for me to do. It also gives me the structure I need.

I have also been doing some mindfulness meditation practices to help calm my mind down due to anxiety and severe PTSD symptoms. Mindfulness meditation practice that I do with the help of the Calm App. I find using mindfulness meditation helpful for most if not in all aspects of my life.

After doing mindfulness meditation practice I came to realize that doing some form of art work while listening to my recovery play list from Spotify would be a great idea. It was a great idea as I colored a giant post I bought from Stuff2Color.com. Stuff2Color has amazing things to color. Things that take time and detail which I appreciate.

Another thing I did was read as my cat, Billie, laid on my lap.The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. I love reading horror books any time of the year but I love to read them when it’s around Halloween especially when the weather is yucky like it is now here in Seattle.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Slightly Struggling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon!!! I am slightly struggling once again despite keeping myself busy. Busy with various things and activities that have been quite helpful this time around. I just wish I was not struggling at the moment as struggling sucks shit.

If you read my last post, you are then aware that I woke up way too freaking early. I am tired as hell and I am seriously thinking about taking a nap. A nap that might not be a good idea as it could prevent me from sleeping tonight which I really do want to sleep tonight.

As I mentioned above I have been keeping myself busy with various things. One of those things was having an unscheduled in person appointment with my therapist. The appointment went well. In fact I admire my therapist a great deal, for many reasons.

After seeing my therapist, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine. I picked up nine prescriptions. Four of those prescriptions are for psych reasons to help with my mental health diagnosis. The other five are for my physical health. One of those five meds is an antibiotic for a bladder which could be one of the reasons why I am slightly struggling.

There is also another reason why I am slightly struggling which is quite normal for me and many others living in Seattle this time of year is the weather. The weather is yucky at the moment but I have seen it much worse here in Seattle. Due to the weather being yucky today and yesterday, I have been using my happy light (or happy lamp) to help with my depression. I also have seasonal affective depressive disorder which is also known as SADD.

Another thing I have been doing to keep myself busy is attending online twelve step meetings. Twelve step meetings which I have found quite helpful for myself. I am so grateful that I started going back to these twelve step meetings.

I also have been doing a great deal of art work. Specifically, I have been coloring a small poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I love to buy coloring posters from Stuff2Color because they are very detailed and keep me busy for hours on end. While I colored, I listened to music on Spotify. I have had my recovery play list playing in the background to help me focus on my recovery.

One of the other things I have done to keep myself busy is read. I have been reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Right now I am on a horror book kick. Partly because it is Halloween time and partly because of the weather. As I read my cat, Billie, was laying in my lap. I love my cat so very much.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Semi-Rough Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I had a semi-rough night last night. The building fire alarm kept going off multiple times due to it malfunctioning. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. Sadly, the fire alarm going off multiple times caused my PTSD symptoms to act up as I was in two fires when I was a kid.

Since I didn’t sleep much I decided to keep myself busy. Busy with a multitude of things. Things such as attending an online twelve step meeting. Attending these twelve step meetings, I have found it very beneficial for me.

I also read. I specifically read a book on Tarot Cards. I am reading about Tarot Cards because I want to learn more about them so I can learn more about myself. I want to learn more about myself so I can be more self aware.

Another thing I did was art work. The type of art work I did was to color. I colored a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com as I listened to music. I listened primarily emo music.

The most important thing I did last night was cuddle with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to write about. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!